Crushed

Pineville, KY

#1 Nov 4, 2008
My husband and I have been together on and off for several years now. We haven't been married for hardly a year and tonight he tells me he's not in love with me anymore. He won't come out and say he wants a divorce, but I know better. I don't want to continue to live a lie.

We don't actually own anything together, but we do have a child together. Could someone please help me out here and let me know how to get the divorce process started? I'm clueless, and crushed. Thank you.

“Try Me If U Want To!!”

Since: Oct 08

Somerset/Columbus

#2 Nov 4, 2008
there are several ways to get started. the cheapest n easiest is to divide ur assets amongst the two of you. draw up a contract to agree to child support and visitation rights. then you need to decide what lawyer you want and they will walk you thru the rest. the more you and him can decide together the better off u r... good luck honey!
ummm

London, KY

#3 Nov 4, 2008
try to file first. it may help in the long run. see jane venters!
oldobserver

Murray, KY

#4 Nov 4, 2008
Candycayne is right. The more you can agree on, between yourselves, the better off you will be. You will need a lawyer eventually, to draw up the legal documents, but if you let them, they will have you fighting over everything just so they can make more money. The longer they drag it out, the more money they make; they have no reason to settle an issue. It took me 4 1/2 years and over $8000 to get a settlement! Hope you have better luck!
Not true

Louisville, KY

#5 Nov 4, 2008
Do not file first, if you let him he will be out more money in the long run then you will be, therefore itís to your advantage to sat back, and toy with the divorce, ever letter you answer his lawyer charges him to send it. Keep letting him send them! I was told by Mr. Thomson when the male files first it is better for the female in the long run, if you can prove he was seeing someone. Get Several Picture of them together, have other people get them for you if they go to a public place together! Hire a Private Investigator, and don't tell anyone, when your soon to be ex-husband thinks it all looks good for him your lawyer will step in, and say we donít agree lets go in front of the judge at the point the private investigator will Drop the BOMB in front of the judge. Once the divorce goes in front of the judge he will frown on adultery big-time. I have a name and number of a very good one from Louisville, Kentucky if you are interested let me know. It's WORTH EVERY PENNY YOU SPEND! Remember, youíre at the end of a new bright beginning
Forgiven

Walled Lake, MI

#6 Nov 5, 2008
I hope that is all true. My soon to be x-wife has cheated on me for years and now we are getting a divorce. She has a boyfriend and is out with him all the time in Somerset. He is alot older and she she thinks he is what she wants because of his position. I have loved her for a long time and would do anything to make our marriage work. I believe that once you get divorced then it is over. Marriage is a living and breathing thing and has to be nurtured all the time or it will fail. You only get what you put into it. This has crushed me and our families. I wish I had my wife back. i miss her terribly, but I know it will never be the same. I dont know if i copuld look at her the same way I always have. I do hope because she has committed adultry so many times that the judge will look at it and give me my daughter.
Laraine

London, KY

#7 Nov 5, 2008
Ok, I am not sure but Kentucky is a no fault state. So when you go to get a divorce I think really by exposing an affair all you can do is hurt the cheaters rep. Call an attorney and check to make sure.
UndercoverLayer

Somerset, KY

#8 Nov 5, 2008
Not true wrote:
Do not file first, if you let him he will be out more money in the long run then you will be, therefore itís to your advantage to sat back, and toy with the divorce, ever letter you answer his lawyer charges him to send it. Keep letting him send them! I was told by Mr. Thomson when the male files first it is better for the female in the long run, if you can prove he was seeing someone. Get Several Picture of them together, have other people get them for you if they go to a public place together! Hire a Private Investigator, and don't tell anyone, when your soon to be ex-husband thinks it all looks good for him your lawyer will step in, and say we donít agree lets go in front of the judge at the point the private investigator will Drop the BOMB in front of the judge. Once the divorce goes in front of the judge he will frown on adultery big-time. I have a name and number of a very good one from Louisville, Kentucky if you are interested let me know. It's WORTH EVERY PENNY YOU SPEND! Remember, youíre at the end of a new bright beginning
Kentucky is a "no fault" state! It wouldn't matter if you had a VHS of his actual affair! So donít waste your time on the blame game! If you have not done anything yet, this is what you need to do... Go to the bank and withdraw half of the money in all accounts but do this ONLY if neither one of you have asked the other for a divorce. By law Ĺ is yours to withdraw at anytime until one of you ASK for a divorce and then the money should not be touched until after it is final. Then go to a GOOD attorney and file the necessary paperwork. Your attorney will tell you what to do from that point. If you DO NOT own real property in the state of Kentucky then there is nothing to divide there. As for the rest of the marital belongings, tell your attorney what you want but do try to be fair and remember that by law 1/2 is legally his! As far as the child goes... try to be fair in the division of time. If the two of you can't come to an agreement then the visitation guidelines for Pulaski County come into play and personally I think it works better for the child if the two of you can come to an agreement. Just make sure that in the divorce papers you are named Primary Parent. Hope everything works out for you. I know it is a hard road especially if you were forced upon it!
Crushed

United States

#9 Nov 5, 2008
Thanks for all of the advice. Does anyone happen to know a good attorney to start with?
Its true

London, KY

#10 Nov 5, 2008
Crushed wrote:
My husband and I have been together on and off for several years now. We haven't been married for hardly a year and tonight he tells me he's not in love with me anymore. He won't come out and say he wants a divorce, but I know better. I don't want to continue to live a lie.
We don't actually own anything together, but we do have a child together. Could someone please help me out here and let me know how to get the divorce process started? I'm clueless, and crushed. Thank you.
Please Please Please see if he will go to counseling first!!!!!
Girl, go out and buy a sexy nighty and rock his world!!!! I am serious!
Husband and wife bond in the bedroom! If he is happy there, he will fall all over in love with you!
Whatever

Somerset, KY

#11 Nov 5, 2008
Its true wrote:
<quoted text>
Please Please Please see if he will go to counseling first!!!!!
Girl, go out and buy a sexy nighty and rock his world!!!! I am serious!
Husband and wife bond in the bedroom! If he is happy there, he will fall all over in love with you!
And after you try that... call the attorney over in London... Last name Butcher!! She is the BEST!
Its true

London, KY

#12 Nov 5, 2008
Whatever wrote:
<quoted text>
And after you try that... call the attorney over in London... Last name Butcher!! She is the BEST!
Anything is worth a try! I was just saying don't give up on the marriage just yet!
trying to help

Hazard, KY

#13 Nov 5, 2008
Crushed wrote:
Thanks for all of the advice. Does anyone happen to know a good attorney to start with?
Call Melinda Gillium.........her consultation is only $35 and worth every penny of it. She will at least try to be honest about it and not take your money and tell you she can help you and then not try to, like some of the others.
Hello

Louisville, KY

#14 Nov 5, 2008
I agree with you on this,["Marriage is a living and breathing thing and has to be nurtured all the time or it will fail"] but sometimes you get tired of always covering for them when other people start noticing their behavior has changed also. If your spouse really loved you they would never put you in harms ways! I also accept as true ["that once you get divorced then it is over"]. I on the other hand, believe if you have children involved in the marriage try to get along for the children. Let all the anger/hatred pass by then the two of you can try to be friends, especially if you have kidsí involved. If you do not have kids there is surely ďNOĒ reason to remain friends afterwards! I hate that you miss your wife so much, however keep in mind you put everything you had into the marriage, it is not your fault it failed. Do not let your spouse lead you to believe it was. Their true colors will come out to everybody. You will be hearing how their work performance has gone down, how they are looking older now. Set aside the anger you feel, and remember them in your prayers. Remember after the divorce God has something better for you in store.
godslove

Lexington, KY

#15 Nov 5, 2008
divorce is rough- no matter how you go about it. I went through a very unwanted (on my end) divroce this last year-- with a small child. I just don't understand how anyone can just walk out on their family for another woman.
Crushed

Pineville, KY

#16 Nov 5, 2008
Its true wrote:
<quoted text>
Anything is worth a try! I was just saying don't give up on the marriage just yet!
I've actually tried suggesting counseling to him so we can both get help with the areas we need improvement in, because of course, he feels like I'm the bad guy and I'm to blame for everything. But he says that counseling would be pointless. Truth is, he can't handle the commitment. Most of his friends are single fathers and I feel like he is envious of their freedom. I let him do the guy thing when he wants to, but it seems like he's constantly wanting to be away from home. I understand that it's a difficult adjustment, freshly married with a newborn, however, I think he forgets that I'm in this with him, too. I just don't understand why he would've ever married me when he feels this way. And further more, why he still won't come out and say "we need to get a divorce," when he tells me every day that "we're really not married, it's just on paper." The whole thing is confusing. I ask if there's someone else, and he swears on our son's life there isn't. He's completely numb to my feelings and my hurting; I've never seen him like this before. It seems like all of this has came out of nowhere. I just don't know what to believe anymore.
Hello

Louisville, KY

#17 Nov 5, 2008
Watch, after you let go, and they know it is intended for good they all of a sudden start calling you like no other "just to see how you are doing". Consequently, this time you have nothing to say!
Forgiven

Walled Lake, MI

#18 Nov 6, 2008
I know now that until it is over and she realizes what she has done to me and our family, that she will never think she has done anything wrong. For months I agonized over what to do and prayed everyday for guidence. I feel now that my answer is to fight for my daughter. I am the one that needs to be strong here. I want her to know that if you love someone, you dont do those things. You can forgive almost anything. I want her to know that someone has to be strong in the relationship and not be the enabler for someone that has done wrong. I hope that when she is older she will see what is wrong and what is right in all of this. I feel that once this is all done, my wife will realize everything and then it will be to late for the marriage. She has done to much damage. I dont feel the true love in me anymore. I love her, but it isnt the same. That love died when I was betrayed and I dont think it will ever come back. The lies are to easy for her to say and she does not know the consequences of her actions yet. I think that once she looses me, her daughter and her family over all of this, she will see the truth in everything. But, it will be to late. I have told her the only way it would ever work is if she fought for it everyday knowing that if she didnt, then it would not be there.

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