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Sarah

United States

#1 Dec 8, 2011
But during Bush’s tenure, I started hearing the more than occasional remark about how not believing in God makes you a bad American and if you were a LIBERAL that didn’t believe in God? Scum of the Earth!

Wait a minute. Not believing in God (or, more precisely, not believing in a very specific version of God) makes me a bad American? How does that even work? This country was founded on religious freedom and the explicit separation of Church and State, wasn’t it? And that’s when I became acquainted with Republican Jesus.
Sarah

United States

#2 Dec 8, 2011
Who the hell is Republican Jesus?
Sarah

United States

#3 Dec 8, 2011
Republican Jesus is very different than the Jesus you and I are familiar with. First off, he is White. Not just white, but White. Republican Jesus has a special place in his heart for America. Specifically, White America. Do you doubt this? Ask yourself why anyone who believes in a colorblind Jesus would even conceive of praying for the death of Obama? No, only those who follow Republican Jesus would even think that such a prayer could, or should, be answered. If you are currently thinking that racism has nothing to do with the unprecedented hatred of Obama, go away, I’m talking to the grownups.

Republican Jesus, by the way, is a big supporter of the Confederacy. Why he let them lose the War of Northern Aggression is a mystery. But all “real” Americans know that the South will rise again and Republican Jesus will lead the way back to glory. Or something like that.

How the Northern and Mid-western Red states fit into this Southern revival is also a mystery.
Sarah

United States

#4 Dec 12, 2011
Republican Jesus loves guns. Loves them! Never mind all that silly talk of beating swords into plowshares! Every good member of the church of Republican Jesus should have, at minimum, enough armament to hold off an invasion by those commie Nazi liberal hordes that are coming any day now. Or the ATF, whichever shows up first. Or maybe just enough to wipe out a schoolroom filled with kids when their excellent parenting skills manifest themselves in the next Columbine tragedy.

Remember, conservatives, to complain about anti-bullying programs being government overreach afterwards!
Sarah

United States

#5 Dec 14, 2011
Republican Jesus loves the rich. Ignore that whole “camel through the eye of a needle” garbage. Republican Jesus wants you to be prosperous! It’s called “prosperity theology” and it percolates throughout the conservative religious fervor. God rewards the faithful with material wealth. Very spiritual stuff. If your idea of spiritual is a McMansion.
Sarah

United States

#6 Dec 14, 2011
But Republican Jesus is not just about love. Republican Jesus also hates and, boy, does he hate!

Republican Jesus hates the poor. This is the flip side of “prosperity theology”. If God rewards the faithful with riches, than the poor are obviously NOT of the faith and deserve what they get. This is, in part, why conservatives hate the social safety nets of welfare, food stamps and Medicaid. Those (and by “those” I mean those) people don’t worship Republican Jesus and are unworthy of being helped. Besides if you feed them, they’ll just breed!
call 479-271-1011

Dallas, TX

#7 Dec 14, 2011
Sarah wrote:
But during Bush’s tenure, I started hearing the more than occasional remark about how not believing in God makes you a bad American and if you were a LIBERAL that didn’t believe in God? Scum of the Earth!

Wait a minute. Not believing in God (or, more precisely, not believing in a very specific version of God) makes me a bad American? How does that even work? This country was founded on religious freedom and the explicit separation of Church and State, wasn’t it? And that’s when I became acquainted with Republican Jesus.
Wow what a hell of a rant

Hope u and ur Buddha feel better.

What a waste of my life reading part of this crap.

U and ur homosexual loving god go make peace with ur liberal hope and change. He's done so much for the country.
Sarah

Benton, AR

#8 Dec 14, 2011
Republican Jesus hates The Gay. They’re sinners, after all. It says so right there in the Bible next to the part about shellfish being an abomination. Nothing demonstrates the compassionate conservatives’ dedication to the teachings of Republican Jesus like blocking legislation for same sex marriage and calling homosexuals pedophiles while enjoying a nice shrimp cocktail before a delicious lobster dinner.

Also, Republican Jesus gave us AIDS, and STDs in general, as punishment for homosexuality. Of course, this ignores the fact that lesbians (a well-known subset of homosexuality) have the lowest rate of STDs, including AIDS, among all adult population groups. So as far as punishment goes, half of the “sinners” are better off than the rest of us, statistically speaking. Maybe Republican Jesus likes him some girl on girl action?
Sarah

Benton, AR

#9 Dec 14, 2011
Republican Jesus hates Muslims. Muslims are scary because some of them do bad things to innocent people. That makes them all evil terrorists. This is not to be confused with White Christian Militia types who blow up abortion clinics or plot political assassinations in Republican Jesus’ name. Those people are martyrs and heroes.

Or they were crazy lone wolfs having nothing to do with Republican Jesus. It depends on which channel you’re interviewing on, Fox or MSNBC.
Sarah

Benton, AR

#10 Dec 14, 2011
Republican Jesus totally hates Liberals. Liberals are the pawns of Satan George Soros trying to destroy the greatest country ever made on this 6000 year old planet (conservative moderates are almost as bad and must be expunged!).

Compromising with a Liberal is a terrible sin in the eyes of Republican Jesus and must not be tolerated.

Finally, Republican Jesus hates science. With a passion bordering on obsession.
call 479-271-1011

Ozark, AR

#11 Dec 15, 2011
Sarah wrote:
Republican Jesus totally hates Liberals. Liberals are the pawns of Satan George Soros trying to destroy the greatest country ever made on this 6000 year old planet (conservative moderates are almost as bad and must be expunged!).

Compromising with a Liberal is a terrible sin in the eyes of Republican Jesus and must not be tolerated.

Finally, Republican Jesus hates science. With a passion bordering on obsession.
wow u have more I am impressed

Don't know what u said but keep goin flower child ur makin urself feel better.

I bet u are one of those individuals who are entitled to everything and refuse to work for anything

U just have the simple ring in ur voice of lazy ass

Let freedom ring
QUOTES

United States

#12 Dec 17, 2011
Some quotes from top Repuplicans in the good old USA.

1.“Today’s so-called ‘conservatives’ don’t even know what the word means. They think I’ve turned liberal because I believe a woman has a right to an abortion. That’s a decision that’s up to the pregnant woman, not up to the pope or some do-gooders or the Religious Right. It’s not a conservative issue at all.”

~Barry Goldwater
cause

Conneautville, PA

#13 Dec 17, 2011
it's still murder
Ackbar

United States

#15 Dec 18, 2011
cause wrote:
it's still murder
Well, Cause, it is ok for a redneck retard broken arrow republican, like you, to kill 140 million of god's creatures, but to abort one fetus to save the mothers life is a great wrong.

The teachings of christanity over the last 2000 years has not done much to futher man's intelligence. Man would rather kill than accept that others also have a point of view.

Too many people of the world have the reasoning of the Jews, "They ain't one of us, so kill them, rob them, torture them, what ever you want to do, THEY AIN'T ONE OF US".
Quotes

Longview, TX

#16 Dec 18, 2011
2.“I cannot help fearing that men may reach a point where they look on every new theory as a danger, every innovation as a toilsome trouble, every social advance as a first step toward revolution, and that they may absolutely refuse to move at all.”

~Alexis de Tocqueville
Quotes

Benton, AR

#18 Dec 19, 2011
3.“Conservatism is the blind and fear-filled worship of dead radicals.”

~Mark Twain
Quotes

United States

#20 Dec 20, 2011
4.“Conservatism discards Prescription, shrinks from Principle, disavows Progress; having rejected all respect for antiquity, it offers no redress for the present, and makes no preparation for the future.”

~Benjamin Disraeli
Quotes

United States

#21 Jan 1, 2012
“Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.”

~George Carlin
Quotes

United States

#22 Jan 4, 2012
.“Republicans approve of the American farmer, but they are willing to help him go broke. They stand four-square for the American home–but not for housing. They are strong for labor–but they are stronger for restricting labor’s rights. They favor minimum wage–the smaller the minimum wage the better. They endorse educational opportunity for all–but they won’t spend money for teachers or for schools. They think modern medical care and hospitals are fine–for people who can afford them. They consider electrical power a great blessing–but only when the private power companies get their rake-off. They think American standard of living is a fine thing–so long as it doesn’t spread to all the people. And they admire of Government of the United States so much that they would like to buy it.”

~Harry S. Truman
Quotes

United States

#23 Jan 9, 2012
“Republicans are men of narrow vision, who are afraid of the future.”

~Jimmy Carter

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