Husband ignores me

[Hello]

Can anybody relate to this? My husband and I have been married for MANY years now, and things have just gone from bad to worse. When I say that my husband ignores me, I mean that.....

1) He NEVER calls me during the day

2) He never asks me how my day was, or what I did. And the rare occasion that he does ask me, he walks out of the room and doesn't really want to hear my answer.

3) I can't talk to him, because it's like talking to a pile of mashed potatoes. It's not listening to me, and it doesn't care what I'm saying! Ha Ha

4) Any big news that happens to him, like he's going to go out of town, or somebody got hired or fired at work, or he gets medical test results back.... he tells OTHER people at church before he even thinks of telling me. What's worse, he'll break the news about something WHILE I'm sitting there at a group meeting with him, and I have to hear the news at the same time that everyone else does. HOW DEGRADING IS THAT??? I even call him on it, right then and there.... but it just doesn't phase him.

Friends... please share your stories if any of you can relate to this misery that I'm in!!

[Teri]

Thanks for sharing your story about your husband..... that's just really sad that he doesn't talk to you..... I know EXACTLY how you feel! And for him to not even contact you when you left for the weekend? That's just weird! My husband would've reacted differently.... if I even take off for a couple of hours, he practically acts like I just filed for divorce.(Very angry and accusing.) I feel like we already ARE divorced... we just happen to be living in the same house. We lead totally separate lives.... except when we're "pretending" to be a happily married couple at church.....

[Fawn]

I can relate so so many of these stories! My husband and I have been married for almost two years now. We have a daughter who is almost one. From the moment our honeymoon ended, he completely changed. He ignores me, never touches me, doesn't say I love you, and he acts like sex is a chore... like he is eating nails. He is a great father to our daughter and I am still so in love with him! I have tried everything to get his attention! I feel so horrible about myself... I cry myself to sleep most nights. I am 22 and he is 20! I don't understand what has happened. He use to be so loving and always compliment me and make me feel like I was the most important thing in his world. Now I come third to everything else. I can't imagine life without him. We have gone to counciling, but he lost interest in it and won't go any more. I am trying to work on problems that I have hoping that it will help him notice me any more... but I am out of ideas. If any of you have anything that worked on your husband

[Lara]

guess knowing that I'm not the only woman suffering in this way is comforting...at least I know I'm not crazy or making things up...BUT...it is also frustrating realizing that there doesn't seem to be a solution to our problem. what do we do to fix this?

just get used to being neglected?

play "the rules" and ignore our husbands back with the hopes that they'll miss us and begin paying attention to us?

find someone else to talk to/confide in/be best friends with?

[Debbie]

I absolutely feel were you are coming from, and I'll probably not be more help...My husband bartends, runs a bar with his father. We have a 9 month old and I thought that he would put things into prospective and get his priorities straight after he was born, but instead, he went cou-cou on me and things have gotten worst! I dont know how much more of this I can bear, and although the answer is clear...LEAVE THESE SOB's, I dont know why I'm still with him. Can anyone help! lol

[kara]

Sounds exactly like my life. I am a stay at home mother of four, and I also do daycare out of my home. I am stuck at home 24/7. My husband is a firefighter so he is only home every other day, but he may as well not even come home. I have tried everything I can think of to get some attention from him, now I'm to the point of not caring any more. I'm so tired of twisting myself into a pretzel for someone who doesn't appreciate it at all. To top it all off, he has run off all of my friends! Any way, it's good to know that I'm not the only one that feels this way, don't feel as lonely! Good luck, hope everything works out for you!!!!

[Susan]

have bee married for 26 yrs. I have 3 "kids" two are grown but still live at home and 1 is 15. They put a lot of stress on our marriage. My husband blames me for any problems at home. I have to handle everything and always have. My husband has almost no relationship with our children. He has very little to do with them and they avoid him as well. My husband works very hard, he comes home and goes straight to the couch, gets up to eat dinner and then returns to the couch where he remains either all night or until midnight then he comes to bed. Not a word is spoken to me. If I speak to him he requests that I repeat everything because "he didn't hear me". When we are with friends he pretends that all is well and so do I. We argue constantly about everything. We are barely civil to each other. He will not attempt to work things out with me. I have to go to him to reconcile and I do. We will work things out for a day or to and then right back to arguing about everything. He also never calls me during the day. I call him at least once a day and I always seem to be disturbing him. Last night I called him and he responded by saying "yeah what do you want". I was going to ask if he would like to go out for dinner but I hung up the phone instead. I basically do my own thing lately. I go out with friends which he seems to resent. I feel extreme lonliness. I have felt this way for a long time and wonder if there isn't more to life than this. I feel like i've waited this long I might as well wait another couple years till my daughter graduates from high school. On the other hand, I am 48 years old... My husband knows I am unhappy. About 5 years ago I asked him for a divorce. He told me if i left he'd cut me off financially and from my kids. Now when we argue he tells me to go if that's what i want. I feel like that IS what I want but I'm afraid.

[Daniel]

well i know exactly how you feel my husband ignores me and though he is a wonderful dad involved with our kids sports he coaches and spends lots of time with the. but when is he is not with them he spends all his time on the xbox live we spend no time together we dont even sleep in the same bed we havent had sex in about 3 months and when we do its a wam bam thank you mam. i have asked him several times to make love to me and he tells me he is not in the mood and he is too tired and gets mad anytime i even bring it up. i cry myself to sleep everynight i miss him and i need him to love me the way he used too. i have told him how i feel several different times but it doesnt matter to him. it makes me feel horrible and it effects my self esteem but he doesnt even care. so i dont even know what to do anymore.

[Clueless]

he doesnt realise That i compromised my enite life to be here with him, and I feel as though the sacrifice I made to come here does matter to him. I miss my parents so much, and it hurts them to see me living in this life, so lonely. My daughter has no friends, no social life, and there is only so much I can do to entertain her. I feel exausted, there is no way out for me, I feel stuck, and I dont know what to do, My husband makes time to go out with his friends and never time for me, he is always too busy. I have been here almost a year and maybe came out of the house five times, Its like I am in jail. If I ask him to go out he'd always have an excuse, he even told me once when I had asked him for us to go to dinner, he went to the extreme to tell me that the restaurants here dont allow children, I embarrassed myself in conversation to a girl who lives here, when he told me that that wasnt true, I was shocked at the extent this man would go to, to not take me anywhere. I am only 26 years old, he is 34, I feel I am getting older and I've been most unhappy. If I am crying he would give out this sort of laugh, as if my feelings are a joke. I cant take much more of this, I don't know what to do.

[guest]

If your husband is ignoring you, that means he is having an affair. I understand your pain. And also if he doesn't call you like he use to thats another sign that he is also cheating. Your husband can giveaway is actions that lets you know that he is cheating on you.

[Oliver]

Talking? mmmm, why talking? why shutting down? well... whatever you are a man or a woman, talking means... feeling something, thinking of it, opening your mouth, construct a sentence, enjoy the following silence, see people's body language then hear the answer...
With your partner you have met 15 years ago and married with for 8 years... this has no more secret... if the two people have not evolved, grown up, developed. Because of your careers, we have changed and developed or strengthened different abilities.
She is a sales, and not just a sales, a super sales manager, the one who can sell you anything you don't need... How can I trust her words? The same from her own point of view about me. But I am not able to phrase it.
How many times have I been tricked? lol... It's like smiling at your wife who is a fashion model for photographs. Is she smiling at me? or the invisible camera?
You do things for your life long partner because you enjoy doing these things? you want to share? or because you have to ? because you have to share with him/her,... it's written on the weddings contract, we have to share blablabla... very annoying when the communication between the two partners is fake because of the obligation to share, isn't it?
Here is my answer to ladies complaining about 'My husband doesn't reply when I say 'how's your day?'... What do you expect ? lol... something like...'wonderful, sunny, happy, pinky day and I am so glad to see you back again, so sweety, so attractive to share our delicious dinner together... ooo, my dear, I have been longing to see you for so loooong !'

[Heres your answer]

Fawn wrote:

I can relate so so many of these stories! My husband and I have been married for almost two years now. We have a daughter who is almost one. From the moment our honeymoon ended, he completely changed. He ignores me, never touches me, doesn't say I love you, and he acts like sex is a chore... like he is eating nails. He is a great father to our daughter and I am still so in love with him! I have tried everything to get his attention! I feel so horrible about myself... I cry myself to sleep most nights. I am 22 and he is 20! I don't understand what has happened. He use to be so loving and always compliment me and make me feel like I was the most important thing in his world. Now I come third to everything else. I can't imagine life without him. We have gone to counciling, but he lost interest in it and won't go any more. I am trying to work on problems that I have hoping that it will help him notice me any more... but I am out of ideas. If any of you have anything that worked on your husband

Here's your answer ladies. Get yourselves together by caring for yourself and falling in love with yourself. ACT CONFIDENT even if you don't feel confident - it will become natural. I will guarantee you this. A man like your explaining needs to feel like you can leave him and have no problem finding someone else. I don't mean to treat him mean, I just mean go on about your business, say hello to him, but act like you have things to do more important than trying to get his attention. Some men thrive on their wife or girlfriends's insecurities. The more insecure you look to him, the more turned off he will be. Start working out but don't let him think you are doing it for him, make him KNOW you're doing it for YOU. You have to be cool about it and not make him think you're having an affair, just that you are having fun and going about your business. Trust me.

[Heres your answer]

Oh, what I meant to say is that "Some men thrive on their wife or girlfriend's insecurities. While he's brining you down watching you try to make him look at you and want you, it's only pumping up his ego and making him secure - and you are turning him off. Turn the table around by feeling confident and sure of yourself. Make him feel like he's got something to lose and what another man wants!

[guest]

Oliver wrote:

Talking? mmmm, why talking? why shutting down? well... whatever you are a man or a woman, talking means... feeling something, thinking of it, opening your mouth, construct a sentence, enjoy the following silence, see people's body language then hear the answer...
With your partner you have met 15 years ago and married with for 8 years... this has no more secret... if the two people have not evolved, grown up, developed. Because of your careers, we have changed and developed or strengthened different abilities.
She is a sales, and not just a sales, a super sales manager, the one who can sell you anything you don't need... How can I trust her words? The same from her own point of view about me. But I am not able to phrase it.
How many times have I been tricked? lol... It's like smiling at your wife who is a fashion model for photographs. Is she smiling at me? or the invisible camera?
You do things for your life long partner because you enjoy doing these things? you want to share? or because you have to ? because you have to share with him/her,... it's written on the weddings contract, we have to share blablabla... very annoying when the communication between the two partners is fake because of the obligation to share, isn't it?
Here is my answer to ladies complaining about 'My husband doesn't reply when I say 'how's your day?'... What do you expect ? lol... something like...'wonderful, sunny, happy, pinky day and I am so glad to see you back again, so sweety, so attractive to share our delicious dinner together... ooo, my dear, I have been longing to see you for so loooong !'

Maybe she wants to hear the truth.

[wow]

Things change in our daily lives, and no, his no talk thing doesn't always mean he's having an affair.

Find a hobby, get yourself things to do that don't require him or his attitude (and I don't mean have an affair)

Make some new friends, read a book, take a class. Anything that's just for you and your enjoyment. Maybe he'll see you thru new eyes. If he doesn't see the change and happiness in you, it is his loss only!

New found self esteem might just be the image you need to fix the wagon. Either way, you win. Women shouldn't think they need a man to validate them.

[Whatever]

All these "ladies" have the same isp andd all the comments are from 17 hours ago! I think you might should seek help immediately. Talking to yourself is one thing, Answering yourself crosses the line! Lol

[agree]

bahahahahah this is funny. i totally agree when one engages in conversation with self and CARRIES that conversation, there is serious medical problems that need medical attention QUICK!

[spldrtn girl]

how can you accuse someone of that? How do you know?

[help]

Im sorry, but if he or she is not cheating it can be better. We as married couples have to keep the fire burning. the problem some times is that he or she gains weight and don't feel sex anymore and so we push the other person away. We have to always be sexy for each other because if you stay attracted to each other you will have a better marriage. By the way I have been married for 19yrs.

[Guest]

my wife ignores me, like she don't want go to bed with me or have sex.