how do you get over your husband cheating in you ?

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guest

Saint Louis, MO

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#1
Mar 8, 2013
 
Husband recently cheated with a lady that lives on our street and our kids go to school together . Very hard to deal with any serious advise ?

“I Y A A Y A S”

Since: Jun 08

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#2
Mar 8, 2013
 

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Pretty sure you won't get any here either
guest

Saint Louis, MO

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#3
Mar 8, 2013
 

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guest wrote:
Husband recently cheated with a lady that lives on our street and our kids go to school together . Very hard to deal with any serious advise ?
First you need to decide if you CAN move past it. Then you need to sit down and talk or even go to counseling. I would never place the blame, but you need to ask him why he cheated, was it something you could have fixed before it got to that point? Some people are just destined to cheat, if that's the case, good luck. If it was a one time thing and he agrees to work hard at earning the trust back AND you can forgive him, then try. If you can't move past it and let go, then you need to do him a favor and move on.

Speaking from experience, hope this helps a little.
another guest

Sikeston, MO

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#4
Mar 8, 2013
 

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guest wrote:
Husband recently cheated with a lady that lives on our street and our kids go to school together . Very hard to deal with any serious advise ?
Good for you to try to deal with it. I'm not sure I'd be so calm. What a whore & an ass! I'd probably beat the hell out of both of them first then think rationally later! AND that's coming from a person who typically doesn't think violence solves problems & haven't been in a fight in my life! Kudos to you!
guest

Saint Louis, MO

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#5
Mar 8, 2013
 

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guest wrote:
Husband recently cheated with a lady that lives on our street and our kids go to school together . Very hard to deal with any serious advise ?
Best way to get over one man is to get under another...
Guest

Jackson, MO

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#6
Mar 8, 2013
 
It's a very very hard thing to move past. I do believe a marriage is worth one more try. However, from personal experience it is almost impossible to forget when you are betrayed. My heart goes out to you and know how you are hurting right now honey. It is going to take patience and understanding from him which not all men can do. Somehow they get mad because your mad over their doings. Something that helped me was to write how I was feeling on paper. I poured my heart out to myself as I went thru the shock, pain, fury, embarrassment ect. Remember to love yourself thru this because you did nothing wrong. Best of luck to you. My thoughts are with you.
guest

Malden, MO

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#7
Mar 8, 2013
 
I've been asking myself this same ? For a long time. Trying to be in a relationship with someone who cheats is extremely hard and heartbreaking. I got to a point where I just let go of the past so I could move forward because you make yourself crazy thinking bout it. But then found out it is still going on. The smart thing would be walk away. But it's not always that easy. So best advice I have is don't listen to what everyone tells you. You have to figure this out on your own. What are you willing to accept? Is it worth fighting for? Can you forgive? I hope you find peace and happiness. And real true love!
been there

United States

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#8
Mar 8, 2013
 
Broken trust can be rebuilt but the cracks will always remain. Do you really want to put your future and the future of your children in this person's hands? Let's face it, when you can't trust the person you're sleeping with then it is time to move on with your life. Move to another location with some distance because divorce is like a living death and you don't need to see/hear about this person everyday. Don't let them kid you "I want to see my kids" because that person should have been with their kids instead of screwing the so called "good neigbor". Remember, your actions are setting an example for your children. Do you want your children growing up thinking it is okay to be a doormat and that marriage is a joke? Life is short so don't settle for less than you are really worth. Don't you feel you deserve to be treated well and respected within your marriage? When people cheat, they try to make it seem that it is all your fault for not fulfilling their needs within the marriage, which is crap. If they were that unhappy they should have acted like an adult and did two things: Talk about how they feel and work to resolving issues or be honest about how things aren't working and get a divorce. Cheating is crap because it short-changes everyone and unfortunately, our children endure the worst part whether you decide to stay or leave. Only you can decide what is best for you and your children. Should you decide to leave, don't say a word until you have all of your ducks in a row because things can get ugly when emotions run high. Now is the time to plan and remain level headed before you act. Plan for a new future--whether you keep the relationship or forge ahead on your own. Good luck to you and have a serious heart-to-heart conversation with God before taking any action. So, so sorry for your circumstances.
been there 2

Kennett, MO

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#9
Mar 8, 2013
 
If there is cheating in a marriage or even the thought of cheating, your relationship is in big trouble. Probably little or no love there to begin with. Staying because kids are involved only leads down a road of unhappiness. Once a 3rd person comes into the picture, there is always going to be doubt and resentment as to why the 2 of you are together. Most of the time that 3rd person is always going to be there whether its in your mind or your spouse's. If the incident only happened once, maybe it will not happen again. If its happened more than once and especially with the same person, could be more to it. My ex was doing more than one of my friends. Made it pretty obvious he had no real feelings for any of them.
Beef Stew

United States

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#10
Mar 9, 2013
 
Its simple...cheat on him with me, no strings attached. I'll ramshack your pretty, tight, poo nanny, tssk tssk.
been there

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#11
Mar 9, 2013
 
been there 2 wrote:
If there is cheating in a marriage or even the thought of cheating, your relationship is in big trouble. Probably little or no love there to begin with. Staying because kids are involved only leads down a road of unhappiness. Once a 3rd person comes into the picture, there is always going to be doubt and resentment as to why the 2 of you are together. Most of the time that 3rd person is always going to be there whether its in your mind or your spouse's. If the incident only happened once, maybe it will not happen again. If its happened more than once and especially with the same person, could be more to it. My ex was doing more than one of my friends. Made it pretty obvious he had no real feelings for any of them.
Exactly. GOOD friends don't cheat with your husband either so time for a total upgrade of human life. If that is what they want out of life then give it to them because YOU deserve better. NEVER down downgrade yourself to that level of thinking or way of life. Another thing, lead by example because you are teaching your children what is acceptable through your actions.
guest

Farmington, MO

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#12
Mar 10, 2013
 
Rene'??
guest

Farmington, MO

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#13
Mar 10, 2013
 
guest wrote:
Husband recently cheated with a lady that lives on our street and our kids go to school together . Very hard to deal with any serious advise ?
Rene'?
guest

Kennett, MO

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#14
Mar 10, 2013
 
been there wrote:
<quoted text> Exactly. GOOD friends don't cheat with your husband either so time for a total upgrade of human life. If that is what they want out of life then give it to them because YOU deserve better. NEVER down downgrade yourself to that level of thinking or way of life. Another thing, lead by example because you are teaching your children what is acceptable through your actions.
My way of thinking also. If you noticed, I said "ex". His cheating brought everything into perspective for me after a lot of years. We only have 2 grown daughters so their relationship with him is safe cause he has been a good dad. They didn't like that he messed around on me but they're old enough that they understand that it had nothing to do with them. He loves them and they love him. The broken relationship was between the 2 of us, not them. We live in the same town but seldom see each other. Just knowing that he's not seeing someone else and then coming home to me is good enough. He seems to be happy with his new wife which was one of my ex friends and I'm okay with that. I'm now working on my new life with new friends and a really good guy. I'm just not as trusting as I once was. People just need to learn to put their exes where they belong ...in their past and move on. Lesson learned...Usually if they cheat on you once, they'll do it again.
been cheated on

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#15
Mar 11, 2013
 
Go out and have sex with a guy, then come home and be all romantic. Get him in the bedroom and make him go down on you. Then tell him you're done. I had sex with a woman and let do that. I left the next day and felt a whole lot better.
been cheated on

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#16
Mar 11, 2013
 

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Tell him after the divorce what you did. Sets them off!!!!!!
guest

Saint Louis, MO

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#17
Mar 11, 2013
 
guest wrote:
<quoted text>First you need to decide if you CAN move past it. Then you need to sit down and talk or even go to counseling. I would never place the blame, but you need to ask him why he cheated, was it something you could have fixed before it got to that point? Some people are just destined to cheat, if that's the case, good luck. If it was a one time thing and he agrees to work hard at earning the trust back AND you can forgive him, then try. If you can't move past it and let go, then you need to do him a favor and move on.

Speaking from experience, hope this helps a little.
Thanks , yes it helps very much
guest

Saint Louis, MO

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#18
Mar 11, 2013
 
Guest wrote:
It's a very very hard thing to move past. I do believe a marriage is worth one more try. However, from personal experience it is almost impossible to forget when you are betrayed. My heart goes out to you and know how you are hurting right now honey. It is going to take patience and understanding from him which not all men can do. Somehow they get mad because your mad over their doings. Something that helped me was to write how I was feeling on paper. I poured my heart out to myself as I went thru the shock, pain, fury, embarrassment ect. Remember to love yourself thru this because you did nothing wrong. Best of luck to you. My thoughts are with you.
Embarrassing for sure . Lives close and see her regularly . It was a first time and I want to try but I had no idea it would be this hard . Thank you all for your support and thoughts .
guest

Saint Louis, MO

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#19
Mar 11, 2013
 
been there wrote:
<quoted text>Exactly. GOOD friends don't cheat with your husband either so time for a total upgrade of human life. If that is what they want out of life then give it to them because YOU deserve better. NEVER down downgrade yourself to that level of thinking or way of life. Another thing, lead by example because you are teaching your children what is acceptable through your actions.
Great advise . Thanks
Moose

United States

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#20
Apr 14, 2013
 

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Find out what it is that he likes in her .Is she fat ? Skinny ? Big boobs . Sit back and look ,watch ,remember .If you want him back you will bust your ass to get him back , Look in the mirror ,Do you look like you did when you were married .There are two sides to every story .Don't stick every thing on him Do you do what you did when you were first married ? Cook clean house love him shag him like you did when you were first married .? Tell him face to face DO YOU want this marriage to go on like it was .or do you want it to pitch every thing away .If he wants to stay, Change your ways And he has to change his ways also . if he says no . find a lawyer and dump his ass . After a while people gain weight get lazy .no clean house ,no do dishes ,NOT IN THE MOOD .Get over it .Get horny .do him in the front lawn at midnight .. Add some spice to his and YOUR life ..........If he does not do what he used to do ,Work .mow the lawn fix the car ,do guy things ,tell him to tell you what is the matter why he does not do this any more If he is fat ,you will help him lose it ,same with you. Is the lady down the street pretty horny ,built like forever ,,Tell him you are ten times the woman she will ever be and back it up Good luck .Say what you mean mean what you say I have been in the same boat ,She would rather have been with someone else .She took me to the cleaners .But after a year Boy was I ever glad She got rid of me .There is life after marriage Just DO NOT jump in to something else . Look around . Not in bars .

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