School mourns student's death - Sentinel & Enterprise

Students clad in black and white T-shirts strode silently out of Ayer High School yesterday afternoon. Full Story
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A little Reality

Westminster, MA

#21 Oct 30, 2010
I won't comment at all about the God comment being needed in schools. People without faith can still act civil towards each other, so religious practices in school is never going to happen, and who's religion would they be practicing, yours?
I'm a teacher also, and feel that in my particular school, bullying within the building is at an all time low. There's so much scrutiny, that the teachers at least are mentioning it to admininistration and they are at least addressing it by letting the parents know. The laws that are in place are often not in the best interest of the school as a whole but rather the individual student. Not fair I agree, but that's the way it is under the laws we have.
To the mom of the bullied student, the school cannot control what a student does on thier off time. They legally cannot do anything about it. They could have and perhaps should have notified the police, but the reality of it is that if the bully never physically touched your daugther, anything done online is not enforceable by local law enforcement. Because your daughter threw the first punch that made it physical, the administration has to do what school policy says, fair or not. It's the way life works, so perhaps the best lesson is to just ignore it all together, don't read the posts, and as long as they don't make contat with you, you'd be fine. If they do, press charges.
I'd like to see some of these students get much more severe consequences than they recieve, but have full knowledge of how and why they don't. We simply need more people raising children in a more compassionate and responsible manner, letting them know that there will always be people who never accept them, and that is okay, because there will be great group of people who do. And that if they are not happy, anything can be done to change the situation, even if that includes changing schools. Most adults forget what it's like to be forced into comingling with several hundred of your peers in your same exact age group. think about how many more kids there are with single family households that don't get the message about how to treat people properly, have divorced, single parent, triple job, oversexed with tv, internet, movies, etc......It's amazing some of our kids are doing as well as they are with such a crazy world around them. I thank god i became a teacher just to at least know what my own kids lives will be like relatively compared to my students'. I think everyone should think first that if someone had even suspected that there were anything of any substance whatsoever, that the authorities would have been notified, and if anything was done improperly, in this day and age, I imagine it would come to light under such public scrutiny.
caught in the act

Northampton, MA

#22 Oct 31, 2010
they should install cameras in all hallways and school rooms.(not in the restrooms)my grand daughter goes to a very nice school, and she is well liked there ,but still a girl started bullying her ,witch she took in stride,but when the girl hit her ,my grand daughter kicked her ass,to everybodys surprize there are cameras all over the school(not in the restrooms),the whole school system knew about it before they got to there next class.they said it was self defence but both had to take a class on bullying and its afects on others.a police officer monitoring system is there and it works very good,i may have not known about the whole thing without it. bullying is down in this school. zero tolerance here.
Blogenburgian

Clinton, MA

#23 Oct 31, 2010
A little Reality wrote:
I won't comment at all about the God comment being needed in schools. People without faith can still act civil towards each other, so religious practices in school is never going to happen, and who's religion would they be practicing, yours?
I'm a teacher also, and feel that in my particular school, bullying within the building is at an all time low. There's so much scrutiny, that the teachers at least are mentioning it to admininistration and they are at least addressing it by letting the parents know. The laws that are in place are often not in the best interest of the school as a whole but rather the individual student. Not fair I agree, but that's the way it is under the laws we have.
To the mom of the bullied student, the school cannot control what a student does on thier off time. They legally cannot do anything about it. They could have and perhaps should have notified the police, but the reality of it is that if the bully never physically touched your daugther, anything done online is not enforceable by local law enforcement. Because your daughter threw the first punch that made it physical, the administration has to do what school policy says, fair or not. It's the way life works, so perhaps the best lesson is to just ignore it all together, don't read the posts, and as long as they don't make contat with you, you'd be fine. If they do, press charges.
I'd like to see some of these students get much more severe consequences than they recieve, but have full knowledge of how and why they don't. We simply need more people raising children in a more compassionate and responsible manner, letting them know that there will always be people who never accept them, and that is okay, because there will be great group of people who do. And that if they are not happy, anything can be done to change the situation, even if that includes changing schools. Most adults forget what it's like to be forced into comingling with several hundred of your peers in your same exact age group. think about how many more kids there are with single family households that don't get the message about how to treat people properly, have divorced, single parent, triple job, oversexed with tv, internet, movies, etc......It's amazing some of our kids are doing as well as they are with such a crazy world around them. I thank god i became a teacher just to at least know what my own kids lives will be like relatively compared to my students'. I think everyone should think first that if someone had even suspected that there were anything of any substance whatsoever, that the authorities would have been notified, and if anything was done improperly, in this day and age, I imagine it would come to light under such public scrutiny.
I would say that thefirst step would be to get rid of the people in elected positions, admin and teachers like yourself with the defeatest attitudes. The public school systems are operating in the 1950s and we need people at the astate level and educated people from inside the 495 belt to lead this. Nothing comes from the educators or legislators outside of that. We have legislators in this are still debating the safety aspects of seat belts.

But like I said this is a behavioral issue and should not be addressed by general school officials and educators. That would be like going to a foot doctor who specializes in corn removals to have a triple bipass done.
A little Reality

Westminster, MA

#24 Oct 31, 2010
I'm extemely sorry then that I am not from inside the 495 belt then. You must find it horrifying that I actually may teach some of your children or your relatives' children. I guess I'm okay with my defeatest attitude rather than your elitest attitude. Can you provide in detail, what your plan would be to adress a couple of the examples listed here by people, without a punishment delivered directly by god himself? I'm sure all of our schools could use your intimate knowledge of the workings of education. I guess 495 is a barrier in terms of more than funding getting outside of the loop from Boston, now we can't even get any intelligence to get past the loop. I guess we're all screwed, right?
Blogenburgian wrote:
<quoted text>
I would say that thefirst step would be to get rid of the people in elected positions, admin and teachers like yourself with the defeatest attitudes. The public school systems are operating in the 1950s and we need people at the astate level and educated people from inside the 495 belt to lead this. Nothing comes from the educators or legislators outside of that. We have legislators in this are still debating the safety aspects of seat belts.
But like I said this is a behavioral issue and should not be addressed by general school officials and educators. That would be like going to a foot doctor who specializes in corn removals to have a triple bipass done.
Interesting

Waltham, MA

#25 Nov 1, 2010
Could everyone who knows the story and that this was the result of bullying please raise your hand? Ok, now that we've cleared that up there has not been any confirmation of bullying and it still remains to be speculation that this was a bullying instances. A few things to point out there were several things going on leading up to her death as to which one made it the breaking point that is still being investigated. If there was bullying it was never reported. Now that I've cleared up a few things you shouldn't always believe what you read in the paper when they have no facts to prove any of it.
Get a life

Westford, MA

#26 Nov 1, 2010
What drugs are you on or I get it YOU HAVE not kids or if you do the state must have taken them from you for being such a "caring idiotic human who realy needs to be steralized"
dumb fitchburg losers wrote:
omg....what the hell is wrong with everyone? Parents need to teach their kids to brush off bullying and to let an adult know if it is going on.
proud parent

Lancaster, MA

#27 Nov 1, 2010
I have honestly been a parent who has experienced their child being bullied and when they fought back the response was "they need to go and tell" and suspended by son for 3 days along with the child who had been involved with the police on several occasions...the message that the wanted to send my son was "to tell"...really it sounded to me that they were relying on the kids being bullied to fix the bullying problem. Children are human just like everyone else there is only so much you can take...when the "cool" kid is the bully it makes it hard for the kid being bullied to tell...it makes problems worse! Focus on the bullying and the parents of these children....I teach my kids to be kind to everyone and it has worked! No matter who "uncool" the child is my oldest child will always stick up for a child that is being picked on..I am not perfect but I know what works...get the parents involved! Suspensions do not work it only adds fuel to the fire! it is much deeper....it is only more retaliation when the child returns for getting that kid suspended...this story is horrible and although it is not completely out there what happened it is understood....I wish her family strength to get through this horrific tragedy!
F N Hadit

Concord, MA

#28 Nov 2, 2010
Saddened wrote:
As a teacher, I can say that the bullying has gotten WAY out of hand, even in elementary school. However, as teachers, we can report bullying, but in the end it is up to administration to follow through and unfortunately administration everywhere sucks! They don't get the ramifications of brushing these situations off. And kids are getting hurt because they don't want to fill out the extra paperwork or follow through with discipline policies. It is disgusting!
I remember, back when teachers and parents were able to DISCIPLINE the kids, there was a lot more RESPECT for everyone. When I was a kid, I learned that respect was RARNED by being a decent person, not by the standards the kids use today, the biggest punk, or the biggest baddy gets the respect, if you want to call it that. I don't even think half these kids even KNOW what is right and what is wrong behavior anymore.
information

AOL

#29 Nov 2, 2010
dumb fitchburg losers wrote:
omg....what the hell is wrong with everyone? Parents need to teach their kids to brush off bullying and to let an adult know if it is going on.
appently you were never bullied, this is not something one time or two, it is rentless, if schools do take action, it is usually, a call to the office with a discussion about ,being nice, telling your child to toughen up is a ery bad idea
BULLIES

AOL

#30 Nov 2, 2010
the problem is sometimes not handled at home because the parents were bullies as kids,and dont see this as a problem,, just kids being kids
wtf

Northampton, MA

#31 Nov 2, 2010
very nice to all come together when someone dies,if you put that much efford into not bullying ,it would be a real memorial for (her),even on facebook,texting,cellphones,ki ds are bullyed today
waldo

Northampton, MA

#32 Nov 2, 2010
BULLIES wrote:
the problem is sometimes not handled at home because the parents were bullies as kids,and dont see this as a problem,, just kids being kids
you are so right,i would not call it kids being kids ,its more like dead being dead. only one thing to say to them and i quote (its better to keep your mouth shut,and let me think you are a--o, than to open it and remove all dout.)
Parent

Acton, MA

#33 Nov 3, 2010
It needs to start with the PARENTS at home. Unfortunately, anyone can be a parent without truly parenting. And, there's a hidden epidemic of abuse and neglect of children.

Regarding the girl who took her life, this is a true tragedy. But keep in mind that no one really knows what was going on outside of school, and it isn't clear about what was going on during the school day.
parent

Fitchburg, MA

#34 Nov 7, 2010
It is sad that the young lady found a permanent solution to a temporary problem. But why did the article have to focus on bullying? So far there has been no evidence that was occurring. For some reason, the student did not feel that the problem would go away or that she could talk to someone about how she was feeling. Suicide had many causes

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