Pagan Woman Kicked Out of Christian Homeless Shelter

[GothFarmer]

Bitner wrote:

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I don't blame you, after such bad experiences. We've let people stay. In fact, oldest daughter's boyfriend is here for a few months, until he goes off to school. And really, we can help in different ways and make a big difference.
Fortunately, the only 'bad' experience we've had came from family instead of friends/aquaintances. My brother asked to come stay. I told him he'd have to get a job. He agreed. Well, he spent 8 months on his butt, doing nothing but eating, watching TV, drinking pot after pot of coffee, and expecting me to pay for his cigarettes. Finally, when I was moving anyway, I asked him what were HIS plans, making it clear that he wasn't moving with us. He got the idea, and moved up north, back to where he'd lived before. I didn't want to, and wouldn't have, if he had made any kind of effort at all.
Contrast that to our current resident, who works hard, contributes to the house and yardwork, has helped hubby with remodling the kitchen, and will come home from work with a bunch of groceries for the house that he has paid for. And is a sweet kid to have around, and we think of him as another son. We'll miss him when he goes.

I am having the exact same problem. Let my Bro move in until he "got on his feet", now it's been a year and he is still here, still unemployed.

Maybe I should move, lol.

[Lil Ticked]

Boony68 wrote:

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You may consider it funny but I just consider you to be one of the few good christians whos able to admit that not all christians are good.
Thank you by the way.

Thank you and you are welcome.

[Boony68]

Lil Ticked wrote:

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Thank you and you are welcome.

As are you.

[Bitner]

GothFarmer wrote:

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I am having the exact same problem. Let my Bro move in until he "got on his feet", now it's been a year and he is still here, still unemployed.
Maybe I should move, lol.

Well, I don't think I would have moved just to get him to move out :) It was serendipity, lol.

I don't know how I would have told him otherwise that he needed to go. It kind of hurt, being taken advantage of by my own brother, but I got over it.

[Lil Ticked]

Bitner wrote:

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Well, I don't think I would have moved just to get him to move out :) It was serendipity, lol.
I don't know how I would have told him otherwise that he needed to go. It kind of hurt, being taken advantage of by my own brother, but I got over it.

I would give him some difficult "house rules" where he wouldn't really want to stay very long. Like no sexual encounters allowed in the house or daily chores that needed to be done along with paying rent. I know that method worked on me . LOL!

[LiLi LaVeau]

GothFarmer wrote:

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I am having the exact same problem. Let my Bro move in until he "got on his feet", now it's been a year and he is still here, still unemployed.
Maybe I should move, lol.

Had issues several years ago with one of my uncles. He was down and out, needed a hand so we let him come stay until he could get a job and a place of his own. I told him 3 months and that was it...he either had a job and a place of his own or he started paying his share of the household expenses with either a)cash from his job or b)physical labor around the house and yard to be the equivalent to what he owed monetarily. It only took his getting 2 "itemized statements" of what he owed and what it was going to take in "housework/yardwork" to pay it off for him to find a job and move out. He was gone in 3.5 months.

[Lil Ticked]

LiLi LaVeau wrote:

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Had issues several years ago with one of my uncles. He was down and out, needed a hand so we let him come stay until he could get a job and a place of his own. I told him 3 months and that was it...he either had a job and a place of his own or he started paying his share of the household expenses with either a)cash from his job or b)physical labor around the house and yard to be the equivalent to what he owed monetarily. It only took his getting 2 "itemized statements" of what he owed and what it was going to take in "housework/yardwork" to pay it off for him to find a job and move out. He was gone in 3.5 months.

yup it works like a charm

[Boony68]

Lil Ticked wrote:

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yup it works like a charm

Its sad when some folks just wanna live off of their families like that.

[LiLi LaVeau]

Boony68 wrote:

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Its sad when some folks just wanna live off of their families like that.

Yeah it is....especially when the family is willing to help them out when they are in a tight spot. Then the person just uses the family. I hated to be that way with my uncle, because I knew he was in a tight spot and needed the help...but shoot...I was working 2 jobs to keep my household running and take care of his mother!!! The least he could do was wash the danged dishes or cook a meal!!!!

[Lil Ticked]

Boony68 wrote:

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Its sad when some folks just wanna live off of their families like that.

Yeah , I understand helping out people during hard times but you can't let them just abuse your kind heartedness. So, with that , what would you (or anyone for that matter) consider to be an appropriate amount of time to help someone get back on their feet?

[Boony68]

LiLi LaVeau wrote:

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Yeah it is....especially when the family is willing to help them out when they are in a tight spot. Then the person just uses the family. I hated to be that way with my uncle, because I knew he was in a tight spot and needed the help...but shoot...I was working 2 jobs to keep my household running and take care of his mother!!! The least he could do was wash the danged dishes or cook a meal!!!!

Indeed.
All family members should pull their own weight.

[Boony68]

Lil Ticked wrote:

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Yeah , I understand helping out people during hard times but you can't let them just abuse your kind heartedness. So, with that , what would you (or anyone for that matter) consider to be an appropriate amount of time to help someone get back on their feet?

1 month or less if they aint doing anything about their situation and maybe 6 months if they are depending on the situation.

[Lil Ticked]

Boony68 wrote:

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1 month or less if they aint doing anything about their situation and maybe 6 months if they are depending on the situation.

LOL!.. I didn't think that some one would actually come up with a time limit.. LOL!
Thanks though I will keep it in mind next time I got guests that over stay their welcome.

[Boony68]

Lil Ticked wrote:

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LOL!.. I didn't think that some one would actually come up with a time limit.. LOL!
Thanks though I will keep it in mind next time I got guests that over stay their welcome.

Not a problem.:)

[Heather]

Why hasn't Hey you ever appeared on the Christian forums. If he has I've never seen him.

[Anon]

Wow, this is insane. I mean most of the comments. The issue appears to be a rather one sided report of questionable facts that have only been shared by the person that was ejected. I love the way that people jump to conclusions that the initial reported "facts" are all of the information related to the story. People never ceases to amaze me.

[Ajswicca]

Shellikins wrote:

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I've done it before, but never again.
Unfortunately, too many bad experiences. One person just would NOT leave... I had to put their things outside and change the locks.
Another couple stole from me.
I don't have much, but when I open my own home to help someone in need, I expect my home and my rules (which were VERY few) to be respected.
So, now I donate to charities instead of trying to help people personally. I also do some volunteer work.

Yes, I have heard of such instances., it is a shame., I just help my friends, mostly, or a friend of a friend.....etc.
Love,and Peace to All

[Idaho]

Lil Ticked wrote:

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Yeah , I understand helping out people during hard times but you can't let them just abuse your kind heartedness. So, with that , what would you (or anyone for that matter) consider to be an appropriate amount of time to help someone get back on their feet?

I took in a relative once, and hated to see him go when the time came. While he was staying there, I never had to do a bit of housework, cook a meal, wash a dish, wash clothes, or mow a lawn. I would come home from work to a hot meal and a clean house. He also took care of my car. It was like having my own personal butler/maid/mechanic. He was actively looking for work and got his own place as soon as he could. He could have stayed longer if he wanted to. However, this is the exception. Another relative that I tried to help out was nothing but a free loader and seemed perfectly happy to stay in bed all day, and party all night. I got to do all the work, plus support us. This one was hard to get out. We don't even hardly speak now. It was a l-o-n-g six months. The first relative still drops by frequently to see what he can do to help out.

[micala426]

hey you wrote:

<quoted text>That is between God and myself only, you are not ever to brag about what you do for charity. Many kids win awards your daughter isn,t the first or the last. If you do not want your daughter talked about do not bring her up. Sorry you want to tell people there are many wiccans out there, well, your wrong.

You're wrong we are every where. From large cities to the smallest villages. We work and play right along side you. Our children go to school and thrive in the same classes as yours. We love and live and laugh. We help the needy. We stand up for what's right. We are as moral as you. And we are far more numerous and active in our beliefs than you can possibly imagine.

[Rachel of the River]

Not all of the thousands of homeless shelters are like that. It was wrong to make her leave if she wasn't causing problems with the other clients.