heard any good jokes?

Burlington, IA

#1 Mar 13, 2013
Hukt Awn Fawnix

United States

#2 Mar 14, 2013
One Sunday morning, Satan appeared before a small town congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front church door, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away.

Soon, everyone was gone, except for an elderly gentleman who sat calmly. Satan walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"

The man replied, "Yep, sure do."

Satan asked, "Aren't you going to run?"

"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.

Perturbed, Satan asked, "Why aren't you afraid of me?"

The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."
Hukt Awn Fawnix

United States

#3 Mar 14, 2013
An old couple celebrates their 50th wedding anniversary in their home.

"Just think," the old man says, "we were sitting here at this same breakfast table, naked as jaybirds, 50 years ago."

"Well," the old lady snickers, "what do you say -- should we get naked?"

The two immediately strip to the buff and sit back down at the table. "You know, honey," the little old lady says slyly, "My breasts burn for you now as they did 50 years ago."

"I'm not surprised," replies the old man. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!"

Burlington, IA

#4 Mar 14, 2013
what did the camel say to the stripper? that looks like my toe!

United States

#5 Mar 17, 2013
Big dog going to teach little dogs facts of life. They go down the street big dog knocks over a trash can gets something to eat. Little dogs goes WOW, I can see go down the street get something to eat, big dog says stick with me I'll teach you the facts of life. They go little further big dog finds female dog in heat, jumps on goes at it, little dog says WOW, I can see go down the street knock over trash can get something to eat and go little further, get a piece. Big dog says stick with me I'll show you the facts of life. Little further down big dog find a fire hydrant raised his leg look a leak, little sat there scratching his head, little dog says I can understand go down the street knock over trash can get something to eat, get a piece, but little dog was confused. Big dog said stick with me I'll teach you the facts of life , if you can't eat it, f**k it then piss on it. Folks that's the facts of life.

United States

#6 Mar 17, 2013
What does camel mean, C-A-M-E-L can Adam make Eve love, now backwards like Eva make Adam cumm.
Funny tuff

Burlington, IA

#7 Mar 18, 2013
What dose a pallet of bricks a pallet of shingles & a fat chick have in common? There all gonna get laid by a Mexican!
jokes on you

United States

#8 Mar 18, 2013
How can you tell if a mans hung ? By the rope arond his neck
obviously not

Burlington, IA

#9 Mar 20, 2013
Its how can you tell if someone is well hung? A. when you cant get your fingers between his neck & the rope! "dumbass"
jokes on you

United States

#10 Apr 1, 2013
Oh sorry dipshit! i didnt put all the unnessery bullshit with it. Thank you or takein the time to correct it. I didnt know ya had to word for word the jokes.i Saw it somewhere made me laugh tryin to share the funny but the joke cop busted me.

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