Finally "got over" Rose Creek Village! After 5-6 years!! PTL!!!
Posted in the Selmer Forum
#1 Jul 8, 2012
Hey yall....I am happy to announce that I have finally "gotten over" or reached a point of closure regarding what happened at Rose Creek Village.
I just lived there 9 months before we were excommunicated and it took me
five or six years to finally process all of that and reach some sort of closure.
I don't think I or anyone else who opened up their soul fully to this group will ever be the same.
I did bring some good and Godly things out of the experience. RCV helped me face and begin to conquer my sex addiction.
And I brought out some wounds upon wounds that I simply didn't need.
As I seek to join with a church and to risk involvement once more with "christians" I can't help but wonder what I'm getting into.
My trust is less than it has ever been in "christians" or "spiritual leaders" or even in myself to handle these things!
But I must move forward lest I become prey to Satan who watches to see who is out all alone and separated from the flock.
Anyway, I am happy to have come to some sort of closure on my experiences at Rose Creek Village. Clearly I loved them deeply and trusted them deeply and opened my soul to them deeply. And clearly God did use them in some ways to help me and my family.
And then clearly I learned something from their mistakes. I am more acutely aware of what "legalism" is....what self-righteousness is...and what "abuse of spiritual authority" is. I understand more than ever how easy it is for people to decieve themselves.
We need the Bible and gentle and loving leadership to help keep us on the straight and narrow. None of us are nothing without God.. None of us are any better or worse than anyone else.
God is our God when we are loved and popular and He is our God when we are scorned and rejected and outcast.
God is all that matters. And God is love. Religion or "christianity" without God's love is just plain mean and oppressive.
Only through God's power and love and forgiveness and grace and mercy can we continue to walk the walk and keep the faith.
RCV please forgive me for my horrible failings and I will continue to do my best to forgive you for your horrible failings.
Diagnosis: A lack of God's love. You can't replace God's love with legalism and think it will work. You can't replace genuine loving and caring and gentle and longsuffering christian leadership with bigotry or abuse.
Beating God's flock into submission just doesn't work as it breaks a lot of "christian" rules to begin with and doesn't give an example of God's love and forgiveness and grace and mercy. Things we all need in these times we live in.
Praise God for new beginnings and the chance to heal and move on.
God's love and peace and mercy and forgiveness to all who read this....
#2 Jul 12, 2012
i have issues with churches that feel they have the right to look down thier noses at others who have messed up and are looking for God to help them find their way back to him. might i suggest the church u pass right b4 u turn off to the 'village'. PINEY GROVE CHURCH OF GOD. the pastor there now is a great man i've known since i was a child. his name is Bro Aaron Moss. it may not be a fit for you but i'd give it a try. GOD bless you & i hope u find what your looking for in a church. i will leave you with one peice of advice that helped me a lot... whether dealing with the 'village' or on your pursuit fora new church, they are only human. only God is perfect. good luck 2 you!
#3 Jul 12, 2012
Aaron Moss is a good man and preacher!
#4 Aug 6, 2012
Well...praise the Lord....it took me 6 years to "recover" from my experiences at RCV....I tried so hard but I was so messed up coming out of the world and fighting my demons...it was not pretty.
Well now I have 4 years "mental" sobriety from sex addiction and about 6 years physical sobriety from the same.
I can tell you I have a very clean, Godly mind most of the time and all that stuff and sin that was so attractive and necessary in my mind is no longer a problem at all.
I now have a better marriage, I have developed more respect and love for my husband and I am learning to be an even better mother and wife.
I haven't worked outside the home for about a year now and God has continued to bless us.
We now have a cute little Baptist church to love and be a part of and they are helping me not to feel so depressed.
Not a big church, but an awesome, older, very seasoned pastor who really cares about his church.
So we have found a new beginning....6 years post RCV.
Believe it or not, I really don't hate RCV.
I know they suffer from a lack of God's love and I know Noah Taylor needs some big changes in his handling of people and probably his interpretation or ignoring certain scriptures in the Bible.
But God is their God and I can give them to God and let Him deal with them. I have forgiven them and hopefully they have forgiven me and hopefully we will see each other in heaven.
Praise the Lord for new beginnings.
#5 Aug 6, 2012
I'm a sex addict as well. I want to do every fine woman I see. I will probably never get over that huh?
#6 Sep 14, 2012
I've had cocaine addicts look me in the face and tell me that sex addiction was worse than cocaine.
Yeah, it seems innocent enough at first and there can be love in the midst of all that....but in the end it is Satan's playground and not build on God's Word and it will lead to worse and worse things.....
when does it move from an innocent attraction to a deadly addiction?
The only way out is through a relationship with Jesus Christ....you have taken the first step in admitting you are a sinner.
Now take the next step and ask Jesus to become your Lord and Saviour and come to hate sin and try your best not to sin and just start doing what you think God wants you to do.
The Holy Spirit will lead you and guide you if you really want out.
But it ain't fun. You aren't always going to feel good.
I've discovered a big hunk of mental illness and hate and anger underneath it all.
And I can't say that I like myself really yet.
I've got to grow out of some mental illness and all.
I think people liked me better when I was a happy go lucky sex addict.
I'm sober now and serious as hell a lot of times and I don't think a few people at the church I'm going to like me at all.
But I just keep trying to walk in a way that is pleasing to God and God is working.
I am becoming a better mother to my two sons and a better wife to my husband....
what is more important than that?
#7 Sep 14, 2012
Even people at this little church we go to ....some of them....maybe even the pastor think I should be working at least part-time....I mean, we get food boxes every week.
But, heck....I know God wants me at home, homeschooling my youngest son and mothering my oldest son.....
and soon I will be caring for my sick mother, too.
So to heck with what people think.
I go to church but I have my guard up somewhat...I want to love and be loved but I am on the defensive as well.
we live in judgemental, critical times.....we can never be good enough....
But you know as long as I am pleasing God, then that is what matters.
I've suffered the wrath of God and I fear Him.
I want to please Him and I want Him to work His righteousness in me.
But I have been a fool and I can only Glory in Christ for I have been a great sinner.
Praise the Lord for the Blood of Jesus that we can have a new beginning.
I am getting better....I am taking an antidepressant every day but I have faith and hope that God is doing a work in me and that I will become stronger.
I often think of what RCV teaches....a biblical principle that if you lay your life down for others, you will find it.
I am trying to do that although I do find myself struggling with selfishness and materialism and all of that.
We war against ourselves...our flesh wars against our spirits.
But Praise God ,....God is a Mighty God still even in these Last Days and if we reach out for Him He will meet us where we are.
Praise Be to a great and merciful God.
#9 Sep 14, 2012
you are working homeschooling david and helping daniel....god bless you your wonderful sugar
#10 Sep 14, 2012
bethany, write a book. you are very good at writing, tell your story and find a publisher. i promise you it will sell. people are very interested in this type book and before long you won't have any financial worries. and it could be a help or inspiration or warning to another person.
#11 Sep 14, 2012
Don,t forget she is also a RN,you see how well her talent has done her,standing in line for a food box. Beth needs to be back in some of those 3rd world countries. She would learn pretty fast what a food box was.
#12 Sep 27, 2012
Yes, in a worldly sense and definition I am a failure.
A person who has two bachelor's degrees...but who has not been able to hold a job longer than two years and a person who has not had many lasting and deep friendships.
A recovered sex addict who looks back on her youth and calls herself a fool....a person who wonders ....How mentally ill am I? Why does it seem that I have gotten worse in terms of my mental health after dedicating my life totally to God six years ago?
What is it? I've lost all my crutches and now the real, bleeding, mentally ill person is left...humbling crawling as God gives her strength..? Afraid of people, afraid of relationships....afraid of church....afraid of christians and christian leaders.....
what a pitiful failure in spite of all her efforts....
#13 Sep 28, 2012
But then I have to remind myself of what God's definition of success is....
I have overcome sex addiction and am working on overcoming
the All-American materialistic, overachieving mindset...
I have come to respect and love my husband and my sons more.
I have a clean mind...am able to slow down and focus on the "little things"....
I have more respect for the lowly....the humble....
I have more respect for the mentally ill....
I am losing my simple thinking and becoming more cautious when it comes to people....maybe this is good, I'm not sure.
I now am taking care of my friends kids and counseling a 12 yr old girl who does not have a father and is already reaching out on the internet for grown men to pay attention to her.....
I have six kids in my house....two that are mine...and four that I am caring for temporarily just because I love them and their mother.
Just six years ago do you think I could have handled six kids....let alone had the patience...let alone done this for no pay....in fact, spending my own money on kids that are not really my responsibility?
No, I've changed for the good in many ways....
But I am still an emotional mess, depending on God and my husband for guidance and mental health and for God's will in my life.
But God has cared for us....and you know what? Some people are giving us a used car soon....
Imagine that....someone giving us a car..in this economy.
So God is with me....stupid fool me...and my husbands and my sons are closer than ever.
To heck with worldly success....
#14 Sep 28, 2012
And RCV? well...with Dr Charles Stanley's help and the Holy Spirit's help I have forgiven them....
I don't know if I've forgiven myself for the stupid fool person I was there....wanting so bad to belong there and be successful there, and failing so miserably....so demonically.....
But I can love RCV. I still don't know totally what to think of RCV, Noah Taylor...etc.
Deep in my heart and spirit I think Noah , Ammah, Hash, Tabach, Chashaq, Kitra...on and on....
I think they are the real deal. I think they are christians and headed for heaven.
But if you look at christians and mighty men and women of God...they made big mistakes. David was a "man after God's own heart" but he was a murderer!! And he paid some horrible consequences and was not allowed by God to do some things because if it....
So I think of Noah Taylor and myself....some very genuine christians but we have made some big mistakes and there are consequences.
But in the end I don't have to understand everything...I can give it all to God and give RCV to God and I can continue to love them and to try to forgive myself as well.
Because in the end this life is but a fleeting moment....in eternity all shall be known.
To heck with worldly success.....maybe God's success for me tommorow is to care for my husband and my children and to cook and wash the dishes.
I do subscribe to many of the things RCV believes...I think I just have a hard time with their over authoritative presentation and in-your-face pretty much hostile style....or that is what they were six years ago.
Maybe God has pummeled them into softer, more humble souls since then.
Praise God it is ultimately not about US but about our Saviour Jesus Christ and it is through Christ that we can live again.
But are we perfect? Oh no......but we can be holy and we can live our lives as holy as we can day in and day out.
#15 Sep 28, 2012
As for me writing a book?
I don't think many people would care to read it and I would receive more hatred than anything.
Some people would probably like to hear about my past as
a sex addict...but that is just plain ol stupid Hollywood
sensationalism and America's obvious fascination with sex itself....
No I don't think any book I would write would be anything popular in any crowd.
We live in the Last Days....all any of us can do anymore is just hang onto God and keep walking....
or should I say crawling?
Come quickly Lord Jesus
#16 Oct 2, 2012
Bethany looking after your family in the home is a very good way to live after all you've been through x
#17 Oct 13, 2012
Yes, thank you. I told my husband today that I am a spoiled brat.
We have $50 cash today and a 73 yr old house and a 91 geo metro...
but we are very happy.
We were recently able to help another single-mom family....rcv-style...we all lived...2 adults, 6 kids in a small house with just two air-conditioned rooms in the Arizona summer.
It was tough....the dishes got the best of me....
but we made it through and I am happy that we gave all that we could.
Praise the Lord we have the Lord Jesus and he has never given up on us.
There is hope for us all in Christ Jesus.
I have changed churches...was just a Baptist for a few months....now are joining a Nazarene church.
I don't know how long I will last there but for now I am excited about going and they have a Celebrate Recovery 12-step group that is very loving.
I failed at the Baptist church because the preacher lost his temper at me because I had six kids and we got up to go to the bathroom during service too many times....they did not have children's church that Sunday.
So he yelled at me and I yelled and preached back at him....then sent him a nice email apologizing that we were having to change churches.
Just can't handle aggressive men. Can't handle yelling...especially from a man. I tried to explain to him in the beginning where I was mentally and emotionally and that I was fighting depression and anger and needed counseling....
but he listened as well as Noah Taylor.
So I fail again.
But God love him. I apologized for my part but he never wrote back.
No forgiveness or loving communication.
Reminds me of Noah Taylor except not that bad this time and at least I didn't have a lust problem this time.
I did much better this time.
Just can't handle too much...need a very gentle and loving Body of Christ to nurse my wounded soul...
oh well, God knows I tried my best.
Now I will pick myself up and try again at this church. So far, so good...and fun, too. Maybe I will make it at this church.
#19 Oct 28, 2012
praise the lord for such a wonderful wife and mother...thank you Jesus....you are lord and all heaven sing your praises...the risen Christ....thank you sugar for loving daniel and david...and your mother...it is love that is creation in us and all around us.....
thank you for caring about little davids school and helping us get
this home....and loving me as you do ...your the best thing that
ever happened to be beth...
your loving husband
#20 Oct 30, 2012
No church will give you peace, niether will the goofy brainwashing village . Only learning the truth for yourself will give you that option.
#21 Nov 2, 2012
your wonderful...praise the lord jesus for him giving you to me as a wife....your a wonderful mother to our boys......it is painful , the world
is painful...still i love you and jesus loves you
may the lord bless you in all ways.....
love your husband
#22 Nov 2, 2012
If you're over it then why do u keep posting about it? Obviously u arent or it wouldnt be on your mind... personally im sick of seeing it..really!?
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