Since: Jun 12

Location hidden

#1 Aug 15, 2013
Q. What is the difference between a dog and a woman?
A. If you put a dog and a woman in a car’s trunk for 3 hours and you open the trunk, the dog will still be happy to see you.

Since: Jun 12

Location hidden

#2 Aug 15, 2013
Q: What do you get when you line up 12 girls from Kentucky?

A: A full set of teeth.

Since: Jun 12

Location hidden

#3 Aug 15, 2013
I’m on a whiskey diet. I have lost three days already.

“shabang.com”

Since: Feb 13

I see you!!

#4 Aug 15, 2013
Somebody stop her. I'm running out of ribs!!
>
Side-splitting_{:

“Your life is what you make it.”

Since: Aug 13

Location hidden

#5 Aug 15, 2013
I was a bartender for 10 years, so the only jokes that come to mind are naughty.. ;)
OICUR12

Westmoreland, TN

#6 Aug 16, 2013
Q-what has 8 teeth and 500 tatoos?

A-The front row at a Willie Nelson concert.

Since: Jun 12

Location hidden

#7 Aug 16, 2013
Q: How do you make University of Kentucky cookies?
A: put them in a big bowl and beat for three hours

Since: Jul 13

Location hidden

#8 Aug 16, 2013
Announcement at Commonwealth Stadium - will the mother of 11 kids please come pick them up? They're beating the Wildcats 21-0...

Since: Jul 13

Location hidden

#9 Aug 16, 2013
Q: How do you make a hormone?
A: Don't pay her.

Q: Mommy, mommy, I hate Daddy's guts!
A: Shut up and eat what's on your plate!

Q: Mommy, Mommy, why do we have to visit Grandma again?
A: Shut up and keep digging

Since: Jul 13

Location hidden

#10 Aug 16, 2013
Q: Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow?
A: Her dog was blind too.

Q: How do you drive Helen Keller crazy?
A: Re-arrange the furniture.

Q: How does Helen Keller drive?
A: One hand on the wheel and one hand one the road!(you didn't really think those rumble strips were for wayward semis and drunks, did you?)
Helen

Lexington, KY

#11 Aug 16, 2013
Q: Did you hear the new Helen Keller joke?
A: Don't worry...neither did she.
Eggo

Westmoreland, TN

#12 Aug 16, 2013
Q why was Helen Keller screaming early in the morning?
A she tried to read her waffle iron.

Since: Aug 13

Location hidden

#13 Aug 16, 2013
Two guys walk into a bar.

Eye would have thought the second guy would have seen it.

Since: Apr 13

Location hidden

#14 Aug 16, 2013
Did you know the tooth brush was invented in Glasgow?

If it was invented in Scottsville it would have been called a teeth brush.

Since: Sep 11

Cave by big rock

#15 Aug 17, 2013
Do you know why Helen Keller fired her maid.
She left the plunger in the commode.

“Your life is what you make it.”

Since: Aug 13

Location hidden

#16 Aug 17, 2013
THE PRIMATE wrote:
Do you know why Helen Keller fired her maid.
She left the plunger in the commode.
OUCH... I'd fire her too.. Lol
Raisins

United States

#17 Aug 18, 2013
Q:why were Helen Keller's hands purple?
A: because she heard it through the grape vine.

Since: May 12

Location hidden

#18 Aug 18, 2013
Two octogenarians lie on their death beds in the hospice. Both are avid baseball fans. One day, they were pondering the notion of whether or not there was baseball in Heaven. So they made a deal - the first one to die would go up to Heaven, check it out and report back to the other.

So the inevitable occurred, and one of them dies, goes up to Heaven, checks it out, and comes back as an angel to his surviving friend in the hospice. At first, his friend was startled to see him, but then realized who it was.

"So what did you find out?"
"Well have I good news and bad news. The good news is that there is indeed baseball in heaven."
"Ok, what's the bad news," the living friend asks.
"You're pitching Tuesday."

Since: Jun 12

Location hidden

#20 Aug 18, 2013
And then God promised men that good and obedient women would be found in all corners of the world. Then he made the earth round...... And he laughed and laughed and laughed.
The bends

United States

#21 Aug 18, 2013
Q: Do you know the reason a scuba diver sits on the edge of the boat and falls backwards into the water?
A: If he fell forward he would smack his face in the bottom of the boat.

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