Elvis is alive...but this time,there is actual proof!

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fan

Portland, TN

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#21
Jul 11, 2009
 
Who wrote:
<quoted text>
Who the hell you talkin about?
it was for roaming.......
Stupidity Runs Amuck

Bethpage, TN

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#22
Jul 12, 2009
 

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Let me begin by saying, I at first doubted the story I am about to share with you. It was a rainy Saturday morning in Scottsville and as I sometimes do I dropped into Callies for a donut and a coffee. I was wondering her theme of a 50's rockandroll joint, so I began a conversation with a fellow sitting at the counter that I have seen there before several times. I was always polite to him before by speaking and asking "hows it going?" but today was different. You see I sat down into a conversation that caught my attention real fast. To say the least I was fascinated at what I was hearing.

It began several years ago, a group that usually sat up on the square all hours of the day and night was gathered and watching the goings on of the small little town usually refered to as the "Ville". A older model car, real nice looking caddy pulled into a space right in front of the Carpenter-Dent Drug Store and asked the first question. "You boys know where a hungry traveler can catch a bite to eat? A mom & pop type place with cold Sweet Tea?"
Quick to answer was a boy with a lawnmower and a can tied to its handle "why yeah that is Martha Jo's, its just down the road a bit just past the old Cee-Bee Store on the left. Never mind the way it looks the tea is real good and so is that tuna fish sandwich."
The stranger nodded his head and replied, "Boy whats your name?"
"Its Sammy, Sammy Holder"
"Well Sammy Thank you Thank-You very Much"
Just at that time Sammy got a strange feeling in his stomach but thought it was all that talk about tuna and tea and passed it off.
Minutes later the stranger in the "Ville" walked in the diner, and looked for a seat, one was in the back room and he began to walk that way. As he walked everyone looked up from thier meals and conversations and reckonized someone had came in, made poliet jesters and nods, continuing with what they were doing at the time.
About then the waitress walked up and said need a menu? What can I get you to drink.
He replied "no menu Sweet Tea to drink and I'll take a tuna sandwich a buddy said they are real good."
The stranger was sitting alone at his table when another local walked in. He usually also eats alone, but today was different! There was no empty tables at this time. Every table had members of the Sheriff's Department, City Police, Ambulance drivers, and a few folks that looked as if they had just left Goads Funeral Home, to morn the loss of a dear family member. As the local walked into the back dining area, the stranger looked up and saw a kind face and asked him if he'd care to join him at his table, that he was eating lunch alone and could use the conversation to pass the time.

To be continued..........

“The Nature Boy !!”

Since: Jun 09

Charlette,NC

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#23
Jul 13, 2009
 
RoamingInsomniac wrote:
<quoted text>
My brother in law lost that kind of weight right before he died.
Death can make your body look really odd at the end.
Well i could see it if he were sick for a while,but the dude just "drops" over dead and a day or two later he's in the coffin that by the way..weighed 650lbs....aint no damn coffin gonna way that much,unless it's made out of steel or lead. And to beat it all...it was a solid brass coffin that was made weeks earlier,that is odd in it's self...everything for that funeral l,from the cars to the blanket on the casket...it's amazing how they got all this shit ready in a day and a half........WOOO!

“TELLING IT LIKE IT IS”

Since: Apr 09

FARTSBURG

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#24
Jul 13, 2009
 

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When I last saw him at Martha Jo's, he had lost down to about 240 or so. I think it was the Jenny Craig plan. Of course he was carrying about 35 pounds of sideburns.
Stupidity Runs Amuck

Bethpage, TN

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#25
Jul 13, 2009
 

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Sorry I had to leave for work so now back to the facts??????

Well the stranger and the local was getting to know a little about one another....well it was more the stranger was learning alot from the local! Like who was who and what everyone said about this one or that one in town. The stranger knew this place was perfect to just disappear in!
Suddenly he asked " So where you reckon a place out in the country would be for rent? Or if its cheap enough maybe a option to buy and a man just settle down around here?"
The local answered" I know just the place, after we finish this bite I'll take you out by there"
So with lunch down and a sweet-tea to go away they went. But only after telling Ms. Linda at the door "thank you Thank-You very much!"
I heard from her she got a weird chill about that time but passed it off to a weird smell that she caught just about that time.
Well on the way out highway 100 the conversation turned to Amish farmers and their way of life. The location of this place is out near them and still close to town and Franklin where there is a Walmart just miles west. This community is ideal to I-65 and direct to bigger towns (the kind the stranger wanted to avoid at all cost).
But the stranger nodded and told the local that was all good.
When they turned down a long gravel driveway far off the main road the stranger began to smile. Without seeing the house he knew this was perfect!
The mobile home was small, but the porch on the back was a big one and the rent was very low. So the stranger asked who owned it and gave them a call.
When the owners showed up a little later the woman kept looking him over and over...like she reckonized him in some sort of way. The stranger kept from smiling because he knew that would do it, he would be found out! All the hard work he had done in the past few years, a nip here and a tuck there, a drop in weight after a big gain, the colored contacts, he still had that smile the one that women seemed to know and the men well they just didn't ever get it!
After a contract was signed, Jack Beam, the woman spoke up and said "You remind me of someone from years ago, someone that I lost to death, someone dear to me to this day."
The stranger responded, "Sorry about the loss, They say everyone has a twin somewhere out there in the world. Strange I turn up here huh?"
"Yeah I suppose your right he would be much older if he had lived" she answered.
Then the stranger asked, "Hey Ted know anywhere I could pick up a few pieces of furniture, old used stuff will work for me, just to get started out till I can send for some of my things up east?"
Suddenly there was that strange smell again that Ms Linda said she experienced.
Ted said, "Hey Jack, call me Una-Farter all my good friends do. I hope we become just that good friends"

To be continued soon!
Stupidity Runs Amuck

Bethpage, TN

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#26
Jul 13, 2009
 

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You know Una-Farter and the stranger did just that! For years they would visit each other, talk on the phone and upon ocassion they would meet up at Martha Jo's for a Sweettea and some good old boy humor! Una Farter slipping around past nicely dressed ladies and slippin one out, to watch them look at each other in horror as to who cut the cheese'!
I think Una-Farter had figured it out who the stranger was long ago, after all, when the furniture and things showed up that day he was there to help unload the Mayflower vanlines truck. He saw the fuzzy couch and the bean bag chair. He saw the crushed velvet curtains of Royal Blue. He helped to hang up the numerous suits that all had matching neckerchefs! Yes he even had noticed the smile several times, with the corner of his lip ever so slightly turning up!
Oh and the way he stood at time with a hip tilted to the side. Many times when things got crazy "Jack" would say he got that all shook up! Yes there were numerous little hints but never not once was there any thing to come out of una-Farters mouth that he knew the King that he was alive and that they are friends!
Not to long ago I ran into them at Food Lion. I heard laughing over in the dairy aisle and when I turned the corner I saw Una-Farter pushing an older gentleman in a wheelchair. Being himself first he let one rip...then he said to me "This is my friend Jack, but I call him Elvis!"

“TELLING IT LIKE IT IS”

Since: Apr 09

FARTSBURG

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#27
Jul 13, 2009
 

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Stupidity Runs Amuck wrote:
You know Una-Farter and the stranger did just that! For years they would visit each other, talk on the phone and upon ocassion they would meet up at Martha Jo's for a Sweettea and some good old boy humor! Una Farter slipping around past nicely dressed ladies and slippin one out, to watch them look at each other in horror as to who cut the cheese'!
I think Una-Farter had figured it out who the stranger was long ago, after all, when the furniture and things showed up that day he was there to help unload the Mayflower vanlines truck. He saw the fuzzy couch and the bean bag chair. He saw the crushed velvet curtains of Royal Blue. He helped to hang up the numerous suits that all had matching neckerchefs! Yes he even had noticed the smile several times, with the corner of his lip ever so slightly turning up!
Oh and the way he stood at time with a hip tilted to the side. Many times when things got crazy "Jack" would say he got that all shook up! Yes there were numerous little hints but never not once was there any thing to come out of una-Farters mouth that he knew the King that he was alive and that they are friends!
Not to long ago I ran into them at Food Lion. I heard laughing over in the dairy aisle and when I turned the corner I saw Una-Farter pushing an older gentleman in a wheelchair. Being himself first he let one rip...then he said to me "This is my friend Jack, but I call him Elvis!"
See, I've been telling folks, but they wouldn't believe me. Elvis is alive and well. I won't tell anyone exactly where he lives. Sometimes he comes to town disquised as a Minionite. That watermelon you bought might have been sold to you by Elvis himself. Yes his farts still smell like peanut butter and rotten bananas. If anyone wants to find Elvis they might want to start sniffing old Minionite men's butts :)
Sammy

Scottsville, KY

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#28
Jul 14, 2009
 

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THE UNA FARTER wrote:
<quoted text>
See, I've been telling folks, but they wouldn't believe me. Elvis is alive and well. I won't tell anyone exactly where he lives. Sometimes he comes to town disquised as a Minionite. That watermelon you bought might have been sold to you by Elvis himself. Yes his farts still smell like peanut butter and rotten bananas. If anyone wants to find Elvis they might want to start sniffing old Minionite men's butts :)
Una Farter just tell everyone the truth.I Sammy Holder am Elvis.I got put in the witness protection program in 1977 and came to scottsville and changed my name to Sammy Holder.I am no longer known as the king but now known by all the women as Mecha Sammy Zilla because I have A Platinum Bionic Peter that would satisfy even the loosest of all women.

“TELLING IT LIKE IT IS”

Since: Apr 09

FARTSBURG

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#29
Jul 14, 2009
 

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Sammy wrote:
<quoted text>
Una Farter just tell everyone the truth.I Sammy Holder am Elvis.I got put in the witness protection program in 1977 and came to scottsville and changed my name to Sammy Holder.I am no longer known as the king but now known by all the women as Mecha Sammy Zilla because I have A Platinum Bionic Peter that would satisfy even the loosest of all women.
It's all true Sammy, I mean Elvis. I helped sneak Elvis into the Ville. I am a undercover FBI agent, Farting Bureau of Investigations. A few years ago, some information leaked out and a "Gangsta" took some shots at Sammy/Elvis, shooting off his whacker off and thought he was dead. The King's carcas was rushed to a secret Government Lab and they rebuilt Sammy/Elvis. Yes he is equipped with an adjustable platinum bionic peter. Bullets will no longer hurt him so the mystery is over, The King lives. He chooses to live out his life as Sammy to get some rest from all his fans. With his bionic peter Sammy will probably become more popular than he was when he was Elvis.

“YOUR Independent Bike Shop”

Since: Oct 08

Adolphus KY

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#30
Jul 15, 2009
 
NO WAY!
Did you not read the story? Sammy was the boy with the mower that sent Elvis to Martha Joes for the tuna sandwich!
So its impossible for him to be Elvis in disguise!

“TELLING IT LIKE IT IS”

Since: Apr 09

FARTSBURG

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#31
Jul 15, 2009
 
TCCW wrote:
NO WAY!
Did you not read the story? Sammy was the boy with the mower that sent Elvis to Martha Joes for the tuna sandwich!
So its impossible for him to be Elvis in disguise!
OK, maybe I got off base a bit, but Sammy really does have a bionic penis. LMAO.

“The Enforcer ”

Since: Jun 09

Charlotte North Carolina

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#32
Jul 15, 2009
 
I met Elvis when I won my first title in NWA wrestling.Elvis wanted to challenge me and I offered to teach him how to wrestle but I hit the spinebuster on him and he said he was leaving for A small town and sure enough once Ole Double A showed up in Scottsville Elvis had to make himself known.Damn IM Good!
so what

Warrenville, IL

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#33
Nov 8, 2009
 
let him be either way he don't want people bothering him! check facebook sivle presley
Adam

Scottsville, KY

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#34
Nov 8, 2009
 
O dear god the drugs run deep in this town....LMAO !!!!

Since: Nov 09

Location hidden

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#35
Nov 9, 2009
 
so what wrote:
let him be either way he don't want people bothering him! check facebook sivle presley
Screw facebook. Assbook is much better. Oh, what is that schitt you are sniffing?
so what

Warrenville, IL

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#36
Nov 9, 2009
 
nothing is next! heis 75 yrs old!!! let him rest and MIND YOUR OWN LIFE!!
so what

Warrenville, IL

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#37
Nov 9, 2009
 
HOW ABOUT YOU GO TO JENNY CRAIG .COM IT AWAITS U!!

Since: Nov 09

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#38
Nov 9, 2009
 

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so what wrote:
nothing is next! heis 75 yrs old!!! let him rest and MIND YOUR OWN LIFE!!
Seems like you're the one that got all this schitt stirred up again. The topic has been silent for months. Dumbarse.
babyboo

UK

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#39
Sep 7, 2010
 
we have got 2 videos from a carboot called the efiles and on one of these films comes an elvis inpersonator who is this same height ,eye colour same,hair line ,teeth ,and chubby now,claiming he is not elvis his facial expressions and also hand and finger movements are also the same ,walking manor and posture are the same . these videos were filmed in the 80s but re-produced in 1991-1992
ive been studing elvis for 40 years and now this is where the twist comes in about these films ,the guy who came on as elvis in the 80s is elvis presley posing as an elvis inpersonator . these films have been seen by a few people to see what there reaction would be and they all agree that this is elvis presley ,we do still have these videos ,i think it was planned to see the reaction of the public , i think he came on stage on this video sang one of his own songs to try and take the lime light off his self or try too because he also said i feel sorry for all the fans , if you have any comments please reply
Blueminer

Holland, KY

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#40
Sep 7, 2010
 
I missed the part about why it took 33 tears to find out the results of these dna tests. Why do you reckon it took 33 years for them to be released?

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