Who do you support for U.S. House in ...
hmm

Cub Run, KY

#557 May 22, 2014
CONTINUOUSLY SENDING THE SAME PEOPLE BACK TO CONGRESS, STATE LEGISLATURES, COUNTY COMMISSIONERS AND CITY COUNCILS WHEN THEY ARE BESET WITH A MYRIAD OF PROBLEMS AND SCANDALS DOES ABSOLUTELY NOTHING MORE THAN ASK FOR MORE OF THE SAME ISSUES. YOU ARE THE TRUE AND LEGAL GOVERNMENT OF YOURSELVES. THE MOST VALUABLE ASSET YOU HAVE AND THE MOST DANGEROUS WEAPON THAT YOU CAN USE IS YOUR VOTE. IT IS TIME FOR ALL AMERICANS TO BOTH RESPECT AND UNDERSTAND HOW TO MAKE YOUR VOTE WORK FOR YOU AND NOT AGAINST You.

Since: Jul 12

Houston, TX

#559 May 24, 2014
Verne was teeing off from the men's tee. On his downswing, he realized that his wife, Joy, was teeing up on the woman's tee directly in front of him. Unable to stop his swing, he nailed it, and hit her directly in the temple, killing her instantly.

A few days later, Verne got a call from the coroner regarding her autopsy.

Coroner: "Verne, your wife seemed to have died from blunt force-trauma to the head. You said you hit a golf ball and hit her in the temple, is that correct?"

Verne: "Yes, sir, that's correct."

Coroner: "Well, inexplicably I found a golf ball wedged up her rear."

Verne: "Was it a Titlist 3?"

Coroner: "Yes, it was."

Verne: "That was my mulligan."

Since: Jul 12

Houston, TX

#560 May 25, 2014
A young man, who was also an avid golfer, found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured that if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in 9 holes before he had to head home. Just as he was about to tee off, an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if he could accompany the young man as he was golfing alone. Not being able to say no, he allowed the old man to join him.

To his surprise, the old man played fairly quickly. He didn't hit the ball far, but plodded along consistently and didn't waste much time. Finally, they reached the 9th fairway and the young man found himself with a tough shot. There was a large pine tree right in front of his ball and directly between his ball and the green. After several minutes of debating how to hit the shot, the old man finally said, "You know, when I was your age, I'd hit the ball right over that tree."

With that challenge placed before him, the youngster swung hard, hit the ball up, right smack into the top of the tree trunk and it thudded back on the ground not a foot from where it had originally laid.

The old man offered one more comment, "Of course, when I was your age, that pine tree was only 3 feet tall."
Ava

Trinity, TX

#562 May 26, 2014
Vote Republicans Only wrote:
We must vote REPUBLICANS ONLY! Independents, please vote only for Republicans!!
You are a fool. Did your mammy and pappy teach you that? Ha ha. Republicans want the church to control the government. The USA was founded on the main principle of.... Separation between church and state. The europeans that first came here wanted to escape the long arm of the CHURCH of England. You poor ignorant uneducated hillbilly.

Since: Jul 12

Houston, TX

#566 Jun 3, 2014
At breakfast, the husband says to his wife, "What would you do if I won the Lotto?"

"I'd take my half and leave you!" she says

"Great!" He says."Here's $6. I won $12 yesterday! Stay in touch!"
Rebecca Flatchested

Salem, MA

#567 Jun 3, 2014
[QUOTE who experience". "THROW THE BUMS OUT!".
![/QUOTE]
Exactly!

Since: Jul 12

Houston, TX

#569 Jun 5, 2014

A husband went to the police station to file a "missing person" report for his missing wife:

Husband: I lost my wife, she went shopping & hasn't come back yet.

Inspector: What is her height?

Husband: I never checked.

Inspector: Slim or healthy?

Husband: Not slim can be healthy.

Inspector: Color of eyes?

Husband: Never noticed.

Inspector: Color of hair?

Husband: Changes according to season.

Inspector: What was she wearing?

Husband: Not sure whether it was a dress or a suit.

Inspector: Was she driving?

Husband: Yes.

Inspector: Yell me the number, name & color of the car?

Husband: Black Audi A8, with supercharged 3.0 liter V6 engine, generating 333 horse power, teamed with an eight-speed Tiptronic automatic transmission, with manual mode. And it has full LED headlights, which use light emitting diodes for all light functions, and has a very thin scratch on the front left door.….and then the husband started crying...

Inspector: Don't worry sir,.....We will find your car.

Since: Jul 12

Houston, TX

#570 Jun 6, 2014
At a divorce court a family of bears is waiting for the judge to grant custody of Baby Bear.

The judge asks the Baby Bear,“Do you want to live with Papa Bear?”

The Baby Bear replied, "No, he beats me. "

The judge then asked, "So, do you want to live with Mama Bear?"

The baby bear said, "No she beats me, too!"

Finally, the judge asked, "Then whom do you want to live with?"

The baby bear says, "The Chicago Bears! They don't beat anybody!"

Since: Jul 12

Houston, TX

#572 Jun 8, 2014
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down for the night, Holmes said:” Watson, look up into the sky and tell me what you see?"

Watson said, "I see millions and millions of stars."

Holmes: "And what does that tell you?"

Watson: "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

Holmes: "Elementary, my dear Watson! Our tent has been stolen!"

Since: Jul 12

Houston, TX

#574 Jun 10, 2014
A student comes to a young professor's office after hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, and kneels pleadingly.

"I would do anything to pass this exam," she says.

She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, and gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean," she whispers, "I would do anything..."

He returns her gaze, "Anything?"

"Anything.

"His voice softens, "Anything?"

"Anything," she repeats again.

His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you ... study?"

Since: Jul 12

Houston, TX

#577 Jun 11, 2014
Greggg Hobby wrote:
Bump for Decency!
I support Decency!
Praise Decency!
You must be a Republican, my friend, because the Democrats threw decency out the window many years ago, in exchange for all of the freebies. Have a great day!

Since: Jul 12

Houston, TX

#579 Jun 13, 2014
Three leaders, of the Big Three beer companies, meet for a drink. The president of Budweiser orders a Bud. Miller's president orders a Miller's and the president of Coors orders a Coors.

When it is Guinness' turn to order, he orders a soda.

"Why didn't you order a Guinness?" everyone asks.

'Nah,' the Guinness CEO replies, "If you guys aren't having a beer, then neither will I."
DUCKCOMMANDER

Paris, TN

#582 Jun 14, 2014
why would you vote for somone that dosent even live in ky.? i will never vote for whitfield

Since: Jul 12

Houston, TX

#583 Jun 15, 2014
A blonde, named Babbette, finds herself in dire trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in serious financial trouble. She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help. So, she begins to pray, "God, please help me! I've lost my business and, if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto!"

Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it. Babbette again prays, "God, please let me win the lotto! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well!"

Lotto night comes and Babbette still has no luck.

Once again, she prays, "My God, why have you forsaken me?? I've lost my business, my house and my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask you for help, and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE just let me win the lotto this one time, so I can get my life back in order."

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light, as the heavens open, and Babbette is confronted by the voice of God Himself, angrily screaming, "Look, Babbette, you gotta meet Me halfway on this thing! You gotta buy a damned ticket, first!!!"
hmmm

Princeton, KY

#584 Jun 15, 2014
DUCKCOMMANDER wrote:
why would you vote for somone that dosent even live in ky.? i will never vote for whitfield
Technically, that describes McConell. I would like to see how many days he is actually in our state. Not many. As for duck commander, that show is so fake. They used to be clean cut country club boys. Some people are so gullible.
Okay

Chicago Heights, IL

#586 Jun 16, 2014
The U.S. Needs more than two party's. The rep. And dems. Have got this country all f:&cked up

Since: Jul 12

Houston, TX

#588 Jun 18, 2014
A preacher was standing at the pulpit giving his Sunday sermon when a note was passed to him. The only word written on the sheet was IDIOT.

Looking up at the congregation, the preacher smiled and said, "I have heard of men who write letters and forget to sign their names, but this is the first time I've ever seen a man sign his name, and then forget to write the letter!"
DontCare

Frankfort, KY

#589 Jun 18, 2014
BIG_STEVIE wrote:
A preacher was standing at the pulpit giving his Sunday sermon when a note was passed to him. The only word written on the sheet was IDIOT.
Looking up at the congregation, the preacher smiled and said, "I have heard of men who write letters and forget to sign their names, but this is the first time I've ever seen a man sign his name, and then forget to write the letter!"
Nobody gives a fat rat's @ss!

(__0__)

Since: Jul 12

Houston, TX

#593 Jun 21, 2014
“Now, that looks like a happily married couple!” Remarks the husband, as he observed another couple snuggling up, at the next table.

“Don’t be too sure, dear! They are probably saying the same thing about us” Replied his wife.
question

Cub Run, KY

#594 Jun 21, 2014
What is this, story time?

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