N.Y. law often makes for messy divorce

N.Y. law often makes for messy divorce

There are 52 comments on the Newsday story from Jul 12, 2008, titled N.Y. law often makes for messy divorce. In it, Newsday reports that:

This story was reported and written by Katie Thomas and staff writers Melanie Lefkowitz and Randi Marshall.

Join the discussion below, or Read more at Newsday.

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my friend irma

Bronx, NY

#45 Jul 13, 2008
Lauren wrote:
<quoted text>
This is in reply to "My Friend Irma". It's unfortunate, but your friend seemed to
pick a lousy attorney. This should not be going on for 3 years. If she is enduring
emotional abuse and a chid is witnessing this, perhaps she could stay with a family
member for a few days a week. If she leaves the home completely, it will be
considered abandonment. She's already invested too much money in this lousy attorney,
but if she can afford to get another attorney she should get a referral from someone.
Sorry to hear your friend is going through such a hard time.
thank you she considered getting another lawyer a few months back and they (her family and the lawyer) sat down and they had thought they worked it through with this lawyer. She promised to get on track. Well after a few weeks it was back to not answering phone calls, being "in court" all the time and not really remembering or studying my friend's case (she was unaware of stuff she was informed of, that kind of thing). My friend made the mistake of paying most of the money up front. She does owe this lawyer but obviously not enough. I did recommend to her to document everything and when this is over, notifiy the bar association. That's the least she should do.

Brooklyn, NY

#46 Jul 13, 2008
No fault just makes it that much easier for one spouse to pick the others pockets. What protection is there for a spouse when the other can decide, I found some one younger, sexier, what ever, and I can take half of everything my soon to be ex has. I'll have my cake and eat it too ! Do away with the community property BS and let them have do it yourself divorces.
Prison guard

Brooklyn, NY

#47 Jul 13, 2008
As long as most of our state politicians
are or were lawyers we will never have
no fault divorce or simple divorce.
Why would they wish to take all that money
away from big biz divorce lawyers.
We could have as in Georgia(USA) simple
divorce filed by a couple (usually childless and
not disputing property) file divorce papers in
front of a notary,how cool and easy is that?
We still are punished here for marriage first
by cupid and then by the laws of NY state.

Since: Mar 07

Location hidden

#48 Jul 13, 2008
Divorce is a big business. If people were smart, and they're not, no one would get married.

But then how would scumbag lawyers make their money?

“Parental Alienation Attorney”

Since: Apr 07

Forest Hills, N.Y.

#49 Jul 14, 2008
My two cents on divorce, American style:

Today we have CAPTA, the child abuse prevention and treatment act which is a federal preemption of local child abuse law. CAPTA has short circuited due process by allowing the least slightest indication of child abuse to come to center stage of all family litigation. Appellate Courts deny any appeals. Huge dollops of federal treasury money accompany CAPTA.

Across the country, appellate courts have entered into the commercial administration of mental health services. A court appointed psychologist and a guardian ad litem direct the flow of the case and the appellate controlled judge has to go along.

In a divorce case, a corrupt law guardian and psychologist can effect a custodial flip to their intended winner. Suddenly, the loser is placed under enormous pressure to settle her case just to see the child. While the court assigns a “therapist” who does nothing but report back to the court bad things, the child is alienated from the loser and child support vanishes.

CAPTA is directed against women because the likelihood of any adverse contacts between a child and adult will arise involving mom, not dad.

In California, where divorces are no-fault, this has turned into a high art. Opposition to a child flip is crushed and the losing litigant loses all her property, her money and her children. Local power house attorneys are directly connected to the judiciary and the spirit of animosity between the bench and bar is at a fever pitch.

In New York, because we are a grounds state, there is less incentive to exert pressure by the flip of a child. That is to say that in New York, a trial is encouraged by the existence of grounds, and any foul play regarding the child can be exposed during trial preparations.

So, I disagree that New York divorces are bad in any way. CAPTA has permeated family court litigation and some post judgment matrimonial litigation, but we have not yet seen the tactical deployment of a kid flip followed by the fleecing of a litigant.

If we don’t repeal CAPTA and its sister law ASFA, we are in for a rude awakening in this millennium when we go to court and an allegation is made about our kid.
Watch the Gap

New York, NY

#50 Jul 14, 2008
Long Shot Island wrote:
I think New York's divorce laws are appropriate just the way they are. If a couple mutually decides for divorce, they can draw up an agreement, both sign it, live by it for a year and it becomes a conversion divorce, with no fault assigned. NO ONE is forced into signing or pressured against their will. There are only four narrow grounds for suing otherwise (mental cruelty, physical cruelty, abandonment or adultery.)
NO COUPLE wakes up one morning and decides to mutually divorce. One or the other starts making plans first, and the other person is forced to play 'catch up.' The laws as they stand cannot prevent divorce, but they do slow down the process and reduce the chances of one person being railroaded quickly and unfairly. Divorce SHOULD be hard to get; marriage is a cut above shacking up and deserves some form of protection, thin as it might be. The last thing we need is to encourage more divorce by instituting no fault as an option, and putting kids and left spouses (men or women) at further disadvantage.
Well said! No spouse should be able to force the other party to accept a divorce, unless they can show they have grounds for it.

If people choose to perjure themselves in order to attempt to get a divorce they are not entitled to, they should be ashamed of themselves (and go to jail), not criticize the law. If you have to lie to get a divorce, you do not have legal grounds.

Marriage is a serious, lifetime committment and dissolving it SHOULD be a difficult, painful process.
Watch the Gap

New York, NY

#51 Jul 14, 2008
Pandora Spock wrote:
My brother was gutted by these archaic divorce laws. His wife schemed to make sure she got physical custody of their three children, the house, and even alimony plus the child support payments.
The woman categorically refused to get a part time job during the marriage despite having a college
degree and is now asking that tuition for a masters be paid so she can retrain to gain new job skills even though the youngest child child is now 12 years old.
This woman's job ttle is a professional housekeeper. That is she marries a guy cleans him out with child support and alimony and then goes on to the next guy she will hose stating she is just a man magnet. That is what not having a no-fault divorce law did to my brother and his family. This woman controls us like an evil spider despite the fact that my brother never ever wanted his family to be disrupted as it was by his exwife.
How does your brother's ex-wife control YOU "like an evil spider"?
You have no legal relationship to her whatsoever.
Divorced but Friendly

Fresh Meadows, NY

#52 Jul 14, 2008
There are a lot of horror stories on this post about nasty divorces and the only thing I can say that made my divorce easier / amicable - Be adults! No finger pointing, lying, manipulating. We were young when we got married, grew apart and fell out of love (it happens). We didn't want to lie about each other or cause pain, so we filed for separation and had all terms worked out prior to bringing lawyers in. We are still friends 8 years later. Again, be adults and save yourself the pain and anguish that can come with divorce.
Holtsville Jim

Riverhead, NY

#53 Jul 14, 2008
The reason a divorce is so complicated and drawn out in New York comes down to one reason. Greedy, bottom-feeding lawyers. They get paid by the hour. The last thing they ever want to see is "quick and easy". They charge at the full fledged lawyer rate of $300.00 an hour, and have interns actually do the research and filings. The first thing we need to do as a society, it to put a leash on the unbridled greed of the legal "profession". Frivolus lawsuits and the "someone may owe you money" mindset is costing society billions of dollars a year. It must end

Jamaica Plain, MA

#54 Jul 16, 2008
Slippery lawyer here in favor of no-fault divorce: "The Women's Bar Association of the State of New York now agrees, reversing a long-held stance against no-fault. "When two people want to be divorced, they should be able to get divorced," said Elaine Avery, an association past president."

No-fault only requires only that one person want the divorce....

Chartley, MA

#55 Jul 16, 2008
Even better than rewriting divorce laws to get less time in court, how about rewriting divorce laws to take that power away from the court? We don't go to court to get married, why should they have anything to do with us getting divorced? Remember, almost all divorce lawyers are bottom feeding scum suckers, but almost all divorce judges were divorce lawyers first. Do you really want the best bottom feeding scum suckers deciding how your money get's divided up and who "wins" the kids?

Bronx, NY

#56 Jul 17, 2008
Solution: Do away with marriage and marriage vows! No one seems to honor them so why bother with the fantasy?
Men and women will just sort of meet up whereever they happen to be and if the female is in heat they will mate and make a baby. The working mother will drop her baby off with universal daycare, universal nursery, universal kindergarten and go back to working, shopping and sexing. The male will continue to run loose hitting every hole he finds until his pecker drops off. It's a win win! RIght?

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