Single mom who is US Army cook refuses Afghanistan deployment to take care of 10-month-old son

An Army cook and single mom may face criminal charges after she skipped her deployment flight to Afghanistan because, she said, no one was available to care for her infant son while she was overseas.

[kiki]

I think that it was wrong to lock her up with her not having someone to watch her child, you can't just leave your child with anybody,but the fact that they would even make the comment that she has to be deployed regardless and say that the child will go to foster care is really crazy, my goodness what is this world coming too. Barack Obama really needs to let the troops come from over there anyway.

[chesapeakeguy]

This is a crock, and happens all the time. And the ones who really come down on this kind of behavior are the military women who HONOR their committments. I hope the military prosecutes her for breach of contract to start with. There are other more appropriate charges they can throw at her as well. This is as bad as the idiots who sign up then claim they are conscientious objectors when they have to deploy to a combat zone.

[trinny]

she just do not wanna go shouldnt have signed up ........................

[MyToya]

I truly think it was wrong for her to punished to go over seas and she has no one to watch her child. I think there should a rules about deploying single Mothers and Fathers who take care of their children. The Services need to put a plan in place to help services memebers because they signed up to serve the country and to make a better life for their children. I will be praying for this young women.

[Eezyduzit]

As a woman I am appalled. Her salary and benefits are paid 100% with OUR tax dollars. She's in the service. Keep your legs closed or remember to take your pills. No sympathy here.

[BOB]

Id refuse too, since I found out the war isn't anything but a huge dope war.

[Curtis]

You military duties come first. If you're not married, don't have kids if you're a soldier during war time. Put her in jail, make the father take care of his child.

[VB citizen]

There are thousands of women with children serving overseas right now - I'm sure everyone of them signed up to make a better life for themselves and their children. When you sign a contract (for anything) you must follow through. She knew when she signed up there is a chance to go to war -hmmmmm isnt that what the military is? Your country comes first? I am a female veteran and I served my time, then got out and raised a family. I didn't have the heart to deploy and leave a child behind. Keep your legs crossed and raise a family after you've obligated yourself to something else 1st! for those of you who feel sorry for her...why? cuz she's a single mom? well, she sure should have chosen a different career. the military doesn't have plans in place for this, because it would be called favortism! Us females worked very hard to have a good name and be able to work almost all rates and it's people like her that screw it up for the rest of women!

[chesapeakeguy]

Curtis wrote:

You military duties come first. If you're not married, don't have kids if you're a soldier during war time. Put her in jail, make the father take care of his child.

That's a great point: where is the father in all this?

[ConservativeInNN]

At the risk of repeating myself -
I recommend a general courts martial resulting in a less than honorable discharge, forfeiture of all pay and allowances for the previous year and reduction in rank to E-1. Then she can be the civilian "all you can be".

[Boyd]

I think that our government and the military is punishing her unfairly because she is putting her family first which is rare in our modern society

[Andrea]

Did any one of you selfish judging people ever had to live your baby behind without knowing how this baby would be taking care of? Wait for all the facts before pass judgment on others. As I understood she sign up way before she got pregnant and pregnancy can happen to anyone, any time, not doing a abortion should make as see her as a strong person specially doing all by her self.
Is no way I would leave my kids behind if at the last moment i had no one to care for then and I know neither one of you. It would be unhuman to do it or expect any one to do it. Don't you think that, just maybe, the fact that she is black is help all of you to think this way without even hearing the real facts? Maybe!?? I can help my self to think that if she was blond and pretty most of you would think differently.

[chesapeakeguy]

Andrea wrote:

Did any one of you selfish judging people ever had to live your baby behind without knowing how this baby would be taking care of? Wait for all the facts before pass judgment on others. As I understood she sign up way before she got pregnant and pregnancy can happen to anyone, any time, not doing a abortion should make as see her as a strong person specially doing all by her self.
Is no way I would leave my kids behind if at the last moment i had no one to care for then and I know neither one of you. It would be unhuman to do it or expect any one to do it. Don't you think that, just maybe, the fact that she is black is help all of you to think this way without even hearing the real facts? Maybe!?? I can help my self to think that if she was blond and pretty most of you would think differently.

Oooohhh, my mistake..It's RACISM! How could I have missed that? Of course it's racism, because she's black! No one would dare criticise a white gal (blonde and pretty especially) for getting herself pregnant and putting herself in a position where she may have to break the law and violate the contract she took on when she voluntarily signed up for service, right??! Give me a brealk! My wife was career military, she honored her committments. I can assure you that had she had been dumb enough to get herself pregnant while single, she would have made sure that the child would be adequately looked after if she was deployed. THAT is another requirement, deploying parents of either gender have to prove they have made adequate plans for their children. And as a poster so astutely questioned on here, where is dear old Dad in all this? I guess he may be a racist as well?

[a reader]

Men in the military, have to leave their children in the care of woman they are no longer in a relationship with,all the time. The father has a right and an obligation to care for his child. The child has a right to know his or her father. Have dad stand up and be man and take care of his kid, and then mom can do her stand up duty as well. A male in the military would never getaway with this.

[Hampton Rds Native]

Andrea. Go get an education, then come back and make posts here. You obviously do not have a basic grasp of the English language. I wouldn't stick up for this woman if I were you, you only make it worse for her.

[Ms_Social _Worker]

Well this is a very sensitive topic. A mother, that doubles a soldier has to decide among her greatest commitments; And when did the race issue rear it's ugly head? That's simply irrational. I guess I'm asking the same question as everyone else.... where is the father in these matters? But if I had to decide I would personally risk staying to care for my child if I were in this situation.

I've seen that some people have brought up the single parent issue and kind of knocked her for that, but folks, life circumstances happen,or may I say "shit happens". So, please don't call her dumb for getting pregnant while single, that's very harsh. I can also bet the majority of the us had unprotected sex while single, but only a few of us didn't get "caught up." As an individual who chooses to wait for children until marriage, I cannot imagine being a single mother with such demanding obligations. I'm not dismissing her obligations to this country, but until you walk a mile in a her shoes, no one really knows the depth of her reasons; and especially the driving forces of motherhood. There is nothing greater than a mother's love.

Which is the greater good: Dismissing your obligation to this country or leaving your child with uncertain conditions?

[ConservativeInNN]

The fact that all of you are missing is that deployment exceptions are made on every deployment. All she had to do was follow the established procedures. No one was going to ship her out with no thought of caring for her children. But no, she had to do things her way - the wrong way. That's why she is being punished and deservedly so. Race, marital status, where she lives, who she is, nothing matters so get off it. The U.S. Army is not the ogre some of you seem to think it is.

[chesapeakeguy]

I stand by the assertion that anyone who TRULY wants to avoid a pregnancy and doesn't is dumb! I say they're DUMB regardless of their marital status, it's all about avoiding something that is truly avoidable! In this day and age, with ALL the protections that are available, with ALL the resources that are expended on education and other measures to prevent that circumstance in particular, it is DUMB to allow it to happen, because 'allow' is the key word here. The military is replete with people, of both genders, trying to get out of deployments and other obligations they signed up for. Pregnancy is one of the 'favored' means for those (few) women service members who wish to get out of such obligations. Hate me all you want for pointing out that undeniable truth, but an undeniable truth it is. And the ones who will state as much are the other service women who are often tainted becaue of the actions of the few who pull such stunts. They have the least amount of tolerance for such antics. And again, as stated in earlier posts, I would like to see what became of dear old Dad in all this.

I am NOT saying this woman is guilty of anything devious, I do not have those facts. I AM saying that her reasoning is not good, and that it is not the military's problem that she cannot meet her obligations based on her own life choices. The military is already committed to the child's health care and other benefits, setting up double standards is not a path they should take.

[Ms_Social _Worker]

chesapeakeguy wrote:

I stand by the assertion that anyone who TRULY wants to avoid a pregnancy and doesn't is dumb! I say they're DUMB regardless of their marital status, it's all about avoiding something that is truly avoidable! In this day and age, with ALL the protections that are available, with ALL the resources that are expended on education and other measures to prevent that circumstance in particular, it is DUMB to allow it to happen, because 'allow' is the key word here. The military is replete with people, of both genders, trying to get out of deployments and other obligations they signed up for. Pregnancy is one of the 'favored' means for those (few) women service members who wish to get out of such obligations. Hate me all you want for pointing out that undeniable truth, but an undeniable truth it is. And the ones who will state as much are the other service women who are often tainted becaue of the actions of the few who pull such stunts. They have the least amount of tolerance for such antics. And again, as stated in earlier posts, I would like to see what became of dear old Dad in all this.
I am NOT saying this woman is guilty of anything devious, I do not have those facts. I AM saying that her reasoning is not good, and that it is not the military's problem that she cannot meet her obligations based on her own life choices. The military is already committed to the child's health care and other benefits, setting up double standards is not a path they should take.

Ok, I can agree to disagree with your stand on single parenthood, however I think the undeniable truth is that if you have sex without protect you may risk getting pregnant. Being that I have worked in social services before, I know that no matter how much a person preaches about planned pregnancy and protection, it's up to the individual to be proactive about their choices. They are plenty of people who "know" the right thing to do, but they just don't do it.
Also having knowledge of military protocol and procedure, I do not believe that she went about solving the issue in the correct manner. There are plenty of single parents services in the armed forces beyond, and I do believe that in the end the military does have the best interest in mind for herself and child.

[Ms_Social _Worker]

ConservativeInNN wrote:

The fact that all of you are missing is that deployment exceptions are made on every deployment. All she had to do was follow the established procedures. No one was going to ship her out with no thought of caring for her children. But no, she had to do things her way - the wrong way. That's why she is being punished and deservedly so. Race, marital status, where she lives, who she is, nothing matters so get off it. The U.S. Army is not the ogre some of you seem to think it is.

I second this...