HUFF Launches Hunger Strike Against P...

HUFF Launches Hunger Strike Against Parking District

Posted in the Santa Cruz Forum

Sum Dim

United States

#1 May 27, 2009
HUFF, Santa Cruz' oldest and most ineffective grassroots advocacy group, has announced a hunger strike against the City's Parking Lot "Panic Law", which restricts its various multi-million dollar garages to use by legitimate motorists parking their vehicles. "This law unfairly targets the poor, by employing such a narrow definition of the term "legitimate"", said Donna Deiss, interim spokesperson for the group.

Acknowledging the impracticality of senior HUFFsters reducing their caloric intake from 3750 kcals/day to zero, as might be expected in a traditional hunger strike, Deiss went on to explain that Robert Norse and Becky Johnson in particular would limit their dietary intake to 2000 kcals/day during the strike. "Why, that's practically nothing", exclaimed Deiss, pointing out that according to her Calorie King guide, "four stroopwafels and 3 Skor Bars have more calories than that" and that "Becky usually consumes that much food in her pre-breakfast Topix session at 4:30 am".

Reached for comment at Berchtesgarten, his weekend retreat in the Los Altos hills, City-Manager-for-Life Dick Wilson noted that what the HUFFsters really needed to do was not only go on a hunger strike, but also add in a 45-minute a day treadmill strike and a three-times-a-week resistance training strike. Only then, he added, would they stand any chance of getting a reasonable result, and saving road crews the time and expense of having to repair cracks in the sidewalk outside Bookshop Santa Cruz on a weekly basis.

The strike is expected to commence after the annual Bonny Doon Firemans' All-You-Can-Eat Pancake Breakfast, to which Becky has non-refundable tickets. In the meantime the HUFFsters are practicing for their strike at the Saturn Cafe every Wednesday, Thursday and Sunday night. "I'm stocking up", said Johnson, wistfully viewing her plate of hotdogs and fries. "I'll be ready".
Pet Cattle

United States

#2 May 27, 2009
Sum, you're funny ;)
Rusty Shackelford

Gig Harbor, WA

#4 May 27, 2009
The HUFF hunger strike will commence on days beginning with a 'Q' between the hours of 9:45am and 11:00am

*Exceptions include, but are not limited to:

-Frito-Lay truck making its bi-weekly stop at the city hall vending machine.

-The discovery of a half eaten bag of marshmallows in Becky's purse.

-Someone discarding a partially devoured egg McMuffin in the waste can.

-Begging.

-Any portion of a meal that falls from Norse' beard

-Becky's mood.

-The smell of any food being prepared within Becky's walking distance of a half block.
HUFFwatch

Sunnyvale, CA

#5 May 16, 2014
Pat is now a full blown HUFF member. Speaking for Rob on behalf of HUFF at council meetings. Appearing on BRB as a co-host....
DBS

Aptos, CA

#6 May 16, 2014
HUFFwatch wrote:
Pat is now a full blown HUFF member. Speaking for Rob on behalf of HUFF at council meetings. Appearing on BRB as a co-host....
I wonder how long it will take FAT Pat to figure out that Robert Kahnjob has absolutely no intention of ever doing ANYTHING that actually helps ANYONE, and that he is only exploiting the misery of the bottom rungs of society for his own crackpot empowerment.?

Becky Whackjob is obviously too stoned/stupid to see that he's a do-nothing blowhard.
Dog Poop

Santa Cruz, CA

#7 May 16, 2014
HUFFwatch wrote:
Pat is now a full blown HUFF member. Speaking for Rob on behalf of HUFF at council meetings. Appearing on BRB as a co-host....
How long does it take to get from her seat to the podium while sliding across the floor like a Hutt? Is her voice as squeaky and weak as her brothers? Does she cry about how people can't take care of themselves and they need more support, services, and free things? Anything about smoking bans? What about our "white gangs"? How 'bout something on internet bullies? Better yet, what does she have to say about the poor homeless loser that got poked by skindog? TBSC? FOI's? Transparency? Any weight loss goals? Better air quality so people don't have to use a CPAP? LOLOL
Donny B

Falls Church, VA

#8 May 16, 2014
Sum Dim wrote:
HUFF, Santa Cruz' oldest and most ineffective grassroots advocacy group, has announced a hunger strike against the City's Parking Lot "Panic Law", which restricts its various multi-million dollar garages to use by legitimate motorists parking their vehicles. "This law unfairly targets the poor, by employing such a narrow definition of the term "legitimate"", said Donna Deiss, interim spokesperson for the group.
Acknowledging the impracticality of senior HUFFsters reducing their caloric intake from 3750 kcals/day to zero, as might be expected in a traditional hunger strike, Deiss went on to explain that Robert Norse and Becky Johnson in particular would limit their dietary intake to 2000 kcals/day during the strike. "Why, that's practically nothing", exclaimed Deiss, pointing out that according to her Calorie King guide, "four stroopwafels and 3 Skor Bars have more calories than that" and that "Becky usually consumes that much food in her pre-breakfast Topix session at 4:30 am".
Reached for comment at Berchtesgarten, his weekend retreat in the Los Altos hills, City-Manager-for-Life Dick Wilson noted that what the HUFFsters really needed to do was not only go on a hunger strike, but also add in a 45-minute a day treadmill strike and a three-times-a-week resistance training strike. Only then, he added, would they stand any chance of getting a reasonable result, and saving road crews the time and expense of having to repair cracks in the sidewalk outside Bookshop Santa Cruz on a weekly basis.
The strike is expected to commence after the annual Bonny Doon Firemans' All-You-Can-Eat Pancake Breakfast, to which Becky has non-refundable tickets. In the meantime the HUFFsters are practicing for their strike at the Saturn Cafe every Wednesday, Thursday and Sunday night. "I'm stocking up", said Johnson, wistfully viewing her plate of hotdogs and fries. "I'll be ready".
A great post. Needs current visibility.
Donny B

Falls Church, VA

#9 May 16, 2014
Rusty Shackelford wrote:
The HUFF hunger strike will commence on days beginning with a 'Q' between the hours of 9:45am and 11:00am
*Exceptions include, but are not limited to:
-Frito-Lay truck making its bi-weekly stop at the city hall vending machine.
-The discovery of a half eaten bag of marshmallows in Becky's purse.
-Someone discarding a partially devoured egg McMuffin in the waste can.
-Begging.
-Any portion of a meal that falls from Norse' beard
-Becky's mood.
-The smell of any food being prepared within Becky's walking distance of a half block.
Another grrrrreat post...
John Colby

Belmont, CA

#10 May 18, 2014
I'm wiling to give up FAT Pat's diseased clam chowder for 12 hours providing jeffie helm's do- henry does take out!
John Colby

Belmont, CA

#11 May 19, 2014
John Colby wrote:
I'm wiling to give up FAT Pat's diseased clam chowder for 12 hours providing jeffie helm's do- henry does take out!
I have clam breath this morning. I can't help being weak
bremen smug

Oakland, CA

#12 Aug 28, 2014
http://radiolibre.org/brb/brb140828.mp3

OMG OMG OMG GREAT SHOW ROB. A critical caller and a challange about KoonertyBook shop tresspass. Brilliant. Local insider GOLD. U rule bro.

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