Lust drives many to the gym

It's all about sex. Or, if you want to get complicated, two words: Lust and vanity. Looking good and getting laid. Not necessarily on site, although one local gym, now deceased, was notorious for turning a blind eye to certain on-site festivities.

[Hello]

Duh. Who needed a study to figure this out. The body NAZI'S of the gay community totally neglect the fact that no matter what you look like, you only get a ten minute advantage – after that you have to have human qualities to attract. Of course it is a bad quality to only speak to people based on the surface they present – that can be bought. This leaves so many feeling bitter about being gay and it is the opposite of the 70's where everyone was welcome at the party – not just the pretty people. Time was we felt more of a community and the gym bunnies destroy that feeling because they are pathologically narcissistic and are basically only interested in themselves or someone who looks just like them. Let us set the trend instead of following it.

[fuzi]

So all the straight guys ogling the swimsuit models would ogle them even if they were fat or ugly? Looks don't count when you're straight?

I fail to see how this is a gay issue... it is a human issue.

[Dasein9]

fuzi wrote:

So all the straight guys ogling the swimsuit models would ogle them even if they were fat or ugly? Looks don't count when you're straight?
I fail to see how this is a gay issue... it is a human issue.

You're right. Especially in a country where the food is laden with such nasty crap that we can be simultaneously overweight and malnourished.

[Sheldon]

It's the gym bunnies' fault that overweight gay men aren't attracted to other overweight gay men? I take it it's also the twinks' fault that middle-aged gay men aren't attracted to other middle-aged gay men?

[RMV]

Dasein9 wrote:

<quoted text>
You're right. Especially in a country where the food is laden with such nasty crap that we can be simultaneously overweight and malnourished.

All of this falls into the personal responsibilty category. If you don't work on your body at all, and don't pay attention to what you eat, you can expect poor results.

The majority of the U.S. needs a healthier attitude towards food and exercise.

Grrrr... bleached flour.... and processed sugars in everything...

Crop rotation (for nutrition, healthier plants, and various other reasons) used to be the way of things... now it's all profit driven corporation farming with with man made fertilizers leaching the ground... of topic, but related, lol.

[Dasein9]

You're right, RMV. It's kind of incredible how much weight I've lost, with very little exercise, since I gave up foods with hydrogenated oils, high fructose corn syrup, or palm oil. I still eat candy and pastries. But a year and a half ago, had to wear a 38 waist. Now I'm in a 33 waist, and those are a little loose.

Kind of the opposite of that film about the guy who ate nothing but McDonald's for a few months.

[RICK OCONNOR]

there is sooo many really fat people (men & woman) around that the ones in the gym are at least trying to look better, but to see a few really buff guys is worth going to the gym in addition you get a work out that will save your life and maybe shave off that 46in waist line. you don't need to have a 6 pac but you are better off going than sitting home and watching TV, so get out and join a gym or two and get a better body while watching better bodies work out, also you may hook up..

[Dasein9]

Eh, I can't afford to join a gym. There's one at school, but they're always blasting both tv and radio there, which I find forces me into an intolerable boredom.

It's much nicer to tie on a pair of steel-toed combat boots and walk the neighbourhood. That also makes me a familiar figure in the neighbourhood; people greet me and we exchange pleasantries. Because of this, I don't feel unsafe, even though these folks have watched me transition and are mainly from cultures with very strict gender boundaries.

[Hello]

surface is surface
don't fool yourselves

[Dasein9]

Hello wrote:

surface is surface
don't fool yourselves

There's also a difference between someone who takes reasonably good care of himself and a gym bunny. Rock hard abs? That tells me a guy's spending time at the gym that should probably be spent reading a book. Three hundred and fifty pounds? That tells me a guy doesn't care enough about himself to possibly care about me.

[mixed]

Its about being forever single and having to compete. I may never again have the body of my 20's but if I can slow the decline better than others and be more healthy, great.

[TampaBob]

You could replace the words:
= bars
= coffee shops
= rock climbing clubs
= car clubs
or any other gathering of like-minded people = there will ALWAYS be some level of sexual tension among those gathered together..it's human nature!
So, shall we let go of the "SEX" thing for JUST a second? Lord, why are so many people OBSESSED with the sexual conduct of gay folks?
WAIT, i know why! BECAUSE WE DON"T VIEW OUR SEXUALITY AS A SIN!
You see, the religious right keeps telling us (and the world), love the sinner hate the sin. Because so many gay folks KNOW that we are defied as a community by WHAT WE DO WITH OUR SEXUAL ORGANS, many of us just dis-associate ourselves with concerns of the religious folks and live our lives.
That freedom, allows us to enjoy, and even CELEBRATE our sexuality (whether we act on that is a personal decision). But, it's clear to me that many "moral folks" hate us because we say and do things they WISH they could - but can't or don't have the balls to!
Yes, the gay male world is very body conscious. Yes, obese men, are often villified in the whispers and snickers between those more fit!
Yes, every person who has ever dated or been in an LTR will admit that "first impressions" are vital to the initial stage of a relationship. Of course, i'm going to hear the "you have to know the quality of a person's heart, not just the body."
But i will argue this: I find it VERY difficult to respect a person who eats SOOO much, so often that he/she becomes 30lbs-morbidly obese.
Have so many people lost their self respect that they let their bodies go to such an extent that they are willing to suffer the short- and long-term effects on their body? Why such apathy?
And, why attack the gay community because we CELEBRATE and yes, uplift, those who do take care of themselves!
8 years ago i was 50lbs over weight! I am 5'8"....so that put me right at the 200lb mark! I had a 38" waist and a double chin and trust me....when i was around other gay men in a social setting, i didn't get many looks. It didn't take me long to figure out (this was just a couple years after coming out of the closet) that if i was going to feel fully comfortable with myself in my community, i needed to get in shape!
Fast forward: I'm now 149lbs...29" waist, 42" chest and in the best shape of my life! NO, i don't go to the gym either (i coudn't afford it at the time)...i just cut back on my portions, began some light excercise and its amazing how quickly the pounds fall off!
Yes, even at the tender age of 46, i still get looks, compliements and even HIT ON by guys older and younger than me.
My friends always ask me, how the hell do you get some many guys compliementing you on your looks and body..and i say: BECAUSE I WORK AT IT!
SO, folks, please let's understand this!
Morbid obesity has now been linked to more deaths than HIV every year! Death from heart attack, stoke, liver and kidney failure from obsity are what's killing American men, women and children!
Oh, and guess what folks! WHAT YOU EAT IS A CHOICE! Oh, and yea, many gay and str8 folks go to the gym to cruise and be cruised while working out.
And you think that str8 and gay men and women driving around in their 700 Series BMW's don't like being looke at when they are out and about in public?
You think they don't know that their body, or car, or clothes or teeth, etc ATTRACT attention? if you dont belive it..you're nuts.
Is it fair? Nope?
Will our society change its perception that thin is IN and hard bodies are a turn on? NOPE.
It's about moderation and acceptance!

[FrankIrvingstone d]

You make no sense....

Sheldon wrote:

It's the gym bunnies' fault that overweight gay men aren't attracted to other overweight gay men? I take it it's also the twinks' fault that middle-aged gay men aren't attracted to other middle-aged gay men?

[Sheldon]

Neither did Hello. If he can make wildly far-fetched exaggerations, so can I. Though, his complaint probably has some factual basis, I just wonder how many guys who look like him he's actually attracted to. If he were, the fact that "the body nazis" don't find him attractive, wouldn't matter to him. Looks will only get you a 10 minute advantage? Please. Now, that's ridiculous.

So who wants to swap vanity and pride for gluttony and sloth?

Hello wrote:

Duh. Who needed a study to figure this out. The body NAZI'S of the gay community totally neglect the fact that no matter what you look like, you only get a ten minute advantage – after that you have to have human qualities to attract. Of course it is a bad quality to only speak to people based on the surface they present – that can be bought. This leaves so many feeling bitter about being gay and it is the opposite of the 70's where everyone was welcome at the party – not just the pretty people. Time was we felt more of a community and the gym bunnies destroy that feeling because they are pathologically narcissistic and are basically only interested in themselves or someone who looks just like them. Let us set the trend instead of following it.

[michael]

I'm fat I'm happy I'm gay so who care what all these tight ass judgemental asses think. Grow up girls

[Blond Prince]

michael wrote:

I'm fat I'm happy I'm gay so who care what all these tight ass judgemental asses think. Grow up girls

Where on Earth did you find this thread? It's from the middle of last winter when drivers license dude was posting more. I believe I recall he wrote a post about an ex who had surgery for being over weight. My memory is excellent so am sure it was him that wrote that post. I don’t need to save the posts because my brain files them for me lol

There is nothing wrong with being fat so long as it is not a health problem for you. I'm not sure what you mean by fat because "fat" is subjective when used to describe weight. If you are 5 feet 7 inches tall and weigh 250 lbs, you are fat to the point that it is not good for your health. If you are 6 feet tall, and 250 lbs, you might not be fat.

You could also be skinny, and obese. That of course is the body fat vs muscle body mass. Obesity is usually the problem regardless if one looks fat or not.

I am so sick of these gyms, and magazine covers telling men how we should look. Working out at a gym too much is not healthy imo. I don't believe all that cardio work out bs. My people never did all that, and the men live to be in 80s and sometimes 90s with women older. They were not at gyms, and some were on the fat side while others thin.

Gay men need to get over all this "looks" crap. I joke around about it all the time in a stereotypical way because gay men especially are so hung up on the way we look.

Being clean, healthy, and above all, honest with close friends and lover to build trust is most important. Looks will fade no matter who great we look at certain ages.

I don't see anything wrong with men getting those hair systems, or some minor facial things like the chemical peels or even laser along with wearing fashionable clothes, but all this big time cosmetic surgery, and work outs in these gyms is not for me. I will go more naturally. If my hair comes out, I would get a hair system, and if I get wrinkles one day then I would get a chemical peel but no surgery. If I get a little flabby, then I can use stretches or light exercise rather than five hours a day at the gym.

Gay men need to stop being so vain, and stop being so demanding on a lover to look as certain way. Lovers are hard to come by for a lasting honest relationship in straight or gay community. When a person finds a mate, realize who lucky you are, and don't complain during the hard times. The hard times will pass!

Gays need to start thinking in terms of less sex partners, and more real relationships in my opinion.

Stop turning the fat guys down. Sometimes the fat guy is the right guy!

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