i love & miss u

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old friend George

Lebanon, KY

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#1
Oct 15, 2012
 
Crystal H.
If you read this you will know who I am. I hope this gets to you. Don't know if I will still be around when you get this. I Love you and it has been several years since we have spoke or seem each other. I love you very much, I have messed everything in my life up so bad. I have lost all that I had... I have walked away and destroyed my life. I don't want to be here anymore I am done and Can't go any longer in this life this way. Just wanted to tell you even thou you and I really never dated I know that you loved me as much as I did you. I just don't know why I or we didn't try to go with what we had in our hearts. I just wanted to let you know there was never a day that you was not on my mind. I hope you are happy and getting to live a life in happiness that a loving person like you deserves. I know you have heard of some of my mistakes and I am sorry I became that person. I didn't know that was in me either. I just can't go on, I have no one or no where to go at this point and I can't handle this no longer . I love you Crystal

George

Since: Oct 12

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#2
Oct 15, 2012
 
George, isn't your love for Crystal enough to keep you from giving up? I know where you are...I've been there. I am there. And I love someone too whom I will never get to be with. But you can't give up...life has so much more for you. I know it.
metoo

Paintsville, KY

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#3
Oct 15, 2012
 
i know how you fill i have been in this same place for a while now i have lost everything that ever mattered to me due to my addiction and what hurts the worst is losing the love of my life over 15 years ago and it still hurts to this day,i realy dont know if i will ever find anyone else to fill this hole that used to be my heart but i am going to try the main thing is just dont give up ask god for help in times like this he will listen hang in there and god bless.......
pitty

Ivel, KY

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#4
Oct 16, 2012
 

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Why would you post a forum like this? Look the woman up on Facebook or go find her. Sounds like a pitty party to me. Topix is not the place for suicide. Go seek help. Call the adult crises line. Go to Mountian Comp. They might be able to help you. Plenty of people out there to love besides one woman. Good luck.
Okay

Salyersville, KY

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#5
Oct 16, 2012
 

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I had a thought such as that one time...I got down
the twenty-two, but the bullet looked so small
that it wouldn't do the job fast enough and it
would hurt too much...so I pulled down the 12 ga.,
but the size of that lead deer slug scared the
dickens out of me, so uh-uh, not for me! Then the
rope, that trusted ole method of old, but I can't
stand wearing a neck tie even at weddings, this
left me wondering about the suicide thing and I
thought of the ole gal I thought I couldn't live
without, hey, living without her wasn't all that
bad after all..I got to spend every dollar I made
on myself, there wasn't all that naggin' goin'
on to rattle my nerves, the TV remote stays on
Channel I want to watch and I can appreciate the
times Mom taught me how to cook for myself! Life
wasn't so unbearable after all and the ole gal
I thought I wouldn't be able to live without has
since become the size of Sherman tank and making
that poor fool who is living the life I thought I
wanted for myself to live a miserable existence!
Man, suicide means you die by your own hand and
if there's anything to religion, it's a sure one
way ticket to 'you know where'..if there's
nothing to religion, once a fellow is dead..he/she
is gonna lay flat of his/her back a very long
time with dirt piled over his/her head..I don't
have thoughts of suicide anymore, I am afraid
that Ole Mother Nature will take her course soon
enough on that one!
I wish I knew you

Wittensville, KY

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#6
Oct 16, 2012
 
Okay wrote:
I had a thought such as that one time...I got down
the twenty-two, but the bullet looked so small
that it wouldn't do the job fast enough and it
would hurt too much...so I pulled down the 12 ga.,
but the size of that lead deer slug scared the
dickens out of me, so uh-uh, not for me! Then the
rope, that trusted ole method of old, but I can't
stand wearing a neck tie even at weddings, this
left me wondering about the suicide thing and I
thought of the ole gal I thought I couldn't live
without, hey, living without her wasn't all that
bad after all..I got to spend every dollar I made
on myself, there wasn't all that naggin' goin'
on to rattle my nerves, the TV remote stays on
Channel I want to watch and I can appreciate the
times Mom taught me how to cook for myself! Life
wasn't so unbearable after all and the ole gal
I thought I wouldn't be able to live without has
since become the size of Sherman tank and making
that poor fool who is living the life I thought I
wanted for myself to live a miserable existence!
Man, suicide means you die by your own hand and
if there's anything to religion, it's a sure one
way ticket to 'you know where'..if there's
nothing to religion, once a fellow is dead..he/she
is gonna lay flat of his/her back a very long
time with dirt piled over his/her head..I don't
have thoughts of suicide anymore, I am afraid
that Ole Mother Nature will take her course soon
enough on that one!
I absolutely love your posts! I wish I knew you and I wish you where my friend, because i know for a fact I could listen to you all day! You and your wife are two lucky people to have each other, and I don't have to know you to know you're both very special people.
i understand

Flatgap, KY

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#7
Oct 16, 2012
 
i know exactly how you feel, i ended up marrying at a young age and have always stayed for my kids. after a few years i realized just who i truly loved yet it was to late for us. i already had a family and he had to much baggage. id give anything to be abe to just give him a hug today. its so hard when we cant have the one we love so much. i have often thought of suicide and how i can do it without going to heck but then i remember my family and friends and just how they would hurt and i dont think i can put them through that. you have the choice to live or die, we all do. dont make the wrong choice. we all have to move on weather its what we want or not. just try to make a better life for yourself and one day you will be happy or atleast you can say you tried. i sure hope you dont do anything to your self, just thnk of how much pain youll be causing your family and friends and yes crystal, if you love her this much dont put her through the pain of never knowing what might have been.
Okay

Salyersville, KY

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#8
Oct 17, 2012
 

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I wish I knew you wrote:
<quoted text>I absolutely love your posts! I wish I knew you and I wish you where my friend, because i know for a fact I could listen to you all day! You and your wife are two lucky people to have each other, and I don't have to know you to know you're both very special people.
I want to be a 'friend' to everyone, I don't enjoy seeing
anyone in pain whether it's physical or emotional, yet I
know these are things we all have to stand from time to
time. As I look back into the years of my own life, I know
now that there were things I could have done differently that
may have made life easier for me today, but I took the course
that I took and as the song goes,'...I live with the Choices
I made', now I make the most of what I have and truly, I am
happy with my life, my wife and our children. Could I have been
happier with any one of the 'puppy loves' of my youth? I don't
know that I could have or not, but I did marry one of them and
a lot of my family and aquaintances said we wouldn't last a
year together, well, forty two years and three children later,
we are still together and '..til death do you part..' is the
only way I see that would stop us from being together. What ever
gets in a person's mind to make him/her want to commit suicide
is something I never want to experience, as I said before,
thoughts such as that would scare the dickens out of me! Thank
you for the comment, it is well taken.
i know

Flatgap, KY

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#9
Oct 17, 2012
 
iv thought about suicide a lot and its nothing you can control, its a sickness just like cancer or any thing else. people that doesnt hae this sickness doesnt understand how we could think it let alone do it. but what people dont understand is we have no control over it, the only reason i havent done it yet is because when i get thinking i need to do it i pray and pray and pray some more and tell my husband to hide the gun case keys from me or i wouldnt be sitting here today. i dont want to do it but sometimes i feel like its the only way i can deal with what im going through at the time.

“"Always Love from the Heart"”

Since: Dec 10

Paintsville Kentucky

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#10
Oct 17, 2012
 

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i know wrote:
iv thought about suicide a lot and its nothing you can control, its a sickness just like cancer or any thing else. people that doesnt hae this sickness doesnt understand how we could think it let alone do it. but what people dont understand is we have no control over it, the only reason i havent done it yet is because when i get thinking i need to do it i pray and pray and pray some more and tell my husband to hide the gun case keys from me or i wouldnt be sitting here today. i dont want to do it but sometimes i feel like its the only way i can deal with what im going through at the time.
Its easier to Love them from a distance, you can't Love them from the grave or hell if you took your own life! Just think about your children and family they need you. If he loves you as much as you love him he will be with you, never give up hope! My prayers are with you, remember never give up! God Bless!
Please

Wittensville, KY

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#11
Oct 17, 2012
 

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i know wrote:
iv thought about suicide a lot and its nothing you can control, its a sickness just like cancer or any thing else. people that doesnt hae this sickness doesnt understand how we could think it let alone do it. but what people dont understand is we have no control over it, the only reason i havent done it yet is because when i get thinking i need to do it i pray and pray and pray some more and tell my husband to hide the gun case keys from me or i wouldnt be sitting here today. i dont want to do it but sometimes i feel like its the only way i can deal with what im going through at the time.
Please talk to a professional that can help you. There is help! If you realize you want to kill yourself, then you do realize that you need help. There's more help than your husband hiding the gun cabinet keys. Please talk to your Dr. they can refer you to someone.
Touching

Wittensville, KY

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#12
Oct 17, 2012
 

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old friend George wrote:
Crystal H.
If you read this you will know who I am. I hope this gets to you. Don't know if I will still be around when you get this. I Love you and it has been several years since we have spoke or seem each other. I love you very much, I have messed everything in my life up so bad. I have lost all that I had... I have walked away and destroyed my life. I don't want to be here anymore I am done and Can't go any longer in this life this way. Just wanted to tell you even thou you and I really never dated I know that you loved me as much as I did you. I just don't know why I or we didn't try to go with what we had in our hearts. I just wanted to let you know there was never a day that you was not on my mind. I hope you are happy and getting to live a life in happiness that a loving person like you deserves. I know you have heard of some of my mistakes and I am sorry I became that person. I didn't know that was in me either. I just can't go on, I have no one or no where to go at this point and I can't handle this no longer . I love you Crystal
George
To quote a line from a Star Trek movie that holds very try, "time is a fire in which we burn". How easily we can waste the years following something that, in the end, leads to our own destruction....and often by the time we come to the relization that we've taken such a long journey down the wrong path, that which meant so much to us is no longer within our reach. I wish you the best in resolving this situation...perhaps someday this relationship can be restored.
Truth

Wittensville, KY

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#13
Oct 18, 2012
 

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The truth is, no one, nothing, or any situation is worth dying for. Life is wonderful and there's a wide wonderful world to experience it in!
There's been times that I've thought I had it so bad and then talk to someone else and find out they've got worse problems than I ever thought about having.
Actually

Salyersville, KY

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#14
Oct 18, 2012
 
Truth wrote:
The truth is, no one, nothing, or any situation is worth dying for. Life is wonderful and there's a wide wonderful world to experience it in!
There's been times that I've thought I had it so bad and then talk to someone else and find out they've got worse problems than I ever thought about having.
There is a bit of truth in this comment, but the 'no one' and
the 'situation' parts I could take issue with. I would not think
twice about danger to my own life should the situation threaten
the life of my child or my wife and stand that I could die in
my effort to protect them. Our soldiers going into harms way
know it's a real possibility that they could die in the service
to their country, but we have brave men and women all over the
globe who take this chance every minute of every day. If it
weren't for the brave policemen and other law officers on the
beat every day and night who place their lives on the line, then
we couldn't rest or feel safe in our homes or on the road.
However, for a person wanting to commit suicide for the sake that
he/she didn't get the person for a husband/wife or a 'shack' that
they think they can't live without is insanity as far as I'm
concerned, but then who am to give advice when I am completely
satisfied with my lot in life concerning this dilema and haven't
had to take one step in their shoes much less having to 'walk a
mile' in them!
Truth

Wittensville, KY

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#15
Oct 18, 2012
 
Actually wrote:
<quoted text>
There is a bit of truth in this comment, but the 'no one' and
the 'situation' parts I could take issue with. I would not think
twice about danger to my own life should the situation threaten
the life of my child or my wife and stand that I could die in
my effort to protect them. Our soldiers going into harms way
know it's a real possibility that they could die in the service
to their country, but we have brave men and women all over the
globe who take this chance every minute of every day. If it
weren't for the brave policemen and other law officers on the
beat every day and night who place their lives on the line, then
we couldn't rest or feel safe in our homes or on the road.
However, for a person wanting to commit suicide for the sake that
he/she didn't get the person for a husband/wife or a 'shack' that
they think they can't live without is insanity as far as I'm
concerned, but then who am to give advice when I am completely
satisfied with my lot in life concerning this dilema and haven't
had to take one step in their shoes much less having to 'walk a
mile' in them!
You took my reply a little too far in depth! I meant in poster #1's love life! You do have some good points though!
Actually

Salyersville, KY

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#16
Oct 18, 2012
 

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Truth wrote:
<quoted text>You took my reply a little too far in depth! I meant in poster #1's love life! You do have some good points though!
I only replied to what I read, if there was another message
intended sorry I missed it. I know of some close aquaintances
that have committed suicide and the effect this act has on
those who really love them is devastating.
Who

United States

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#17
Oct 18, 2012
 
Crystal who ? Maybe if you told her last name she might get up with you.
fadeing

West Liberty, KY

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#18
Oct 19, 2012
 
Actually wrote:
<quoted text>
I only replied to what I read, if there was another message
intended sorry I missed it. I know of some close aquaintances
that have committed suicide and the effect this act has on
those who really love them is devastating.
Good point but pain is pain.I'm also feeling a burden and can't quite figure how to lift it.What normally gives me a pickup is the thought of the people that would be happy in my passing.
Truth Is

Wittensville, KY

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#19
Oct 19, 2012
 
fadeing wrote:
<quoted text>Good point but pain is pain.I'm also feeling a burden and can't quite figure how to lift it.What normally gives me a pickup is the thought of the people that would be happy in my passing.
Please get help! There's no situation that can't be helped. Call your family doctor! You can get help, because you know there's something not right. You only think that they would be happy. Only the evil would be happy in someone's passing.
Actually

Salyersville, KY

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#20
Oct 19, 2012
 
fadeing wrote:
<quoted text>Good point but pain is pain.I'm also feeling a burden and can't quite figure how to lift it.What normally gives me a pickup is the thought of the people that would be happy in my passing.
Are you really willing to die to satisfy those who would
be happy in your passing? I can't decide what's best for
you and your pain, that is your decision, but just to make
others happy, I can't buy into that one!

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