Lone Jack, MO

#1 Jul 29, 2012
Q..How do you circumcise a hillbilly A..Kick his sister in the jaw.

Lone Jack, MO

#2 Jul 29, 2012
Q.. Whats the definition of Yankee? A.Same thing as a "Quickie","only you do it yourself.

Lone Jack, MO

#4 Jul 29, 2012
Q.. How do you get a nun pregnant? A.Dress her up as an Alter Boy.
Early Riser

Hardin, MO

#5 Jul 29, 2012
What's the first symptom of AIDS? A pounding sensation in your ass.

Lone Jack, MO

#6 Jul 29, 2012
What do you call an AIDS guy in a weelchair?Roll aids..

Lone Jack, MO

#7 Jul 29, 2012
A drunk Judge returned to court after a long lunch.in the first case,a man is charged with DWI who pleaded not guilty."Im as sober as you are ,your honer,"the man claimed...The Judge said,"In that case,you are sentenced to 45 Days"

Kneeland, CA

#8 Jul 29, 2012
Early Riser wrote:
What's the first symptom of AIDS? A pounding sensation in your ass.
I don't care who you are....that was HILARIOUS!!!

Kingston, Jamaica

#9 Aug 1, 2012
Man and the three beers

A man walks into a bar in Miami , orders three beers and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender approaches and tells him, "You know, a beer goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time."

The man replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One in Toronto , the other in London , and I in Miami . When we all left home, we promised to drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I drink one for each of my brother and one for myself."

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The man becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way:He orders three pints and drinks them in turn.

One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss."

The man looks confused for a moment, then a light dawns in his eye and he laughs. "Oh, no. Everyone's fine. He explains, "It's just that I joined The Seventh Day Adventist Church and I personally had to stop drinking”


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