From the Book of Common Prayers
Posted in the Rutherfordton Forum
#1 Oct 4, 2010
A Penitential Order: Rite One
For use at the beginning of the Liturgy, or as a separate service.
A hymn, psalm, or anthem may be sung.
Blessed be God: Father, Son, Holy Spirit, and me Brad, thy
BRAD: And blessed be his kingdom, as well as my 2-county
principality here on earth, now and for ever.
BRAD: Alleluia. Christ is risen and maketh his
countenance to shine upon me and anoint me blessed.
The Lord is risen indeed and hath prepared for me a cozy seat
at His right hand. Alleluia.
BRAD: Bless the Lord who forgiveth all our sins, even
my seven or so ongoing deadly sins and sins of enabling and
exonerating perjurers who criminally trespass
on the property of others, communicate threats of violence,
bear false witness under oath before the magistrates, obtain false arrest
warrants, and effectuate malicious prosecutions, in addition to speeding
90 MPH on curvy roads and killing innocent young lads with great prospects
on earth -- and getting off scot free to offend again.
BRAD: His mercy, grace, favors, prosecutorial courtesies,
and special indulgences endureth for ever, especially for a good ol' boy
tithing back-slapping Episcopalian like me.
BRAD: Hear what our Lord Jesus saith:
Thou shalt love and obey the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with
all thy soul, and with all thy mind,
except when political chicanery and expediency to purify the guilty
and besmirch the innocent interfere.
This is the first and great elective
commandment. And the second is like unto it: Thou shalt
love thyself before thy neighbor, especially if he is from another county and thus without a vote and devoid of political clout. On these two optional commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.
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