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Gunpowder n Lead

Hanson, KY

#1 Nov 16, 2009
All you women out there, lets let other women know who to stay away from. I'm talking about the men around here that put their hands on women. Domestic violence is one of the highest crimes in Logan County. Why? Because they get a slap on the wrist. Community service is not enough!
Agree

United States

#2 Nov 16, 2009
I agree but would they tell?
lisa lou

United States

#3 Nov 16, 2009
My ex husband never beat me but he was verbally and sexually abusive to me. I didn't know better at the time. I just kept thinking 'if I try harder to please him, then he won't be so angry'. He had me isolated from my family, even had me believing that they hated me. He complained that everything I done was wrong, from the way I cleaned house to grocery shopping to raising the kids. He had me thinking I was worthless and could do nothing without him. And I never told anyone, so I think that most women don't. I wish I would have.

We've been divorced for 5 years and he still threatens me and harasses me. He has broke into my home. I call the police and they say that they cannot do anything. He lies and they believe him. They tell me I need to get a lawyer and take him to court. But I can't afford that and cannot get anywhere with legal aid.
panther

United States

#4 Nov 16, 2009
Lisa Lou, bless your heart, he did beat you down, didn't he...I am surprised you divorced him. Usually when a man,a sick individual, abuses a woman or child in any form, he is trying to exert his power over you and sometimes makes them believe they really deserved the abuse.. He will never agree to let you go until you do hire an attorney if need be and put him under a restraining order. The sad thing about this kind of relationship, the woman will marry someone else who will treat her the same way, she thinks she deserves this kind of treatment.. Lets see some names, men or women, warn othersand let them know what kind of guy this person really is.
what

United States

#5 Nov 16, 2009
Lisa Lou I feel so sorry for you, you do some help theres free legal aid in B.G. for women or whom ever that can't afford and attorney, look into it. No one deserves this type of treatment, Kentucky is known for wife, children and animal abuse.
lisa lou

United States

#6 Nov 16, 2009
I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. I just want to be able to help others break free from this type of abuse. I took a big step in breaking free a couple of months ago by completely refusing to have any contact with him at all. I would have something to discuss about the kids with him and that would always give him an opportunity to use his mind games to control me.

The worse part of it all is the kids. My oldest is 12. They have seen this behavior their whole life and I have until now shown them that it is acceptable. Since I won't talk to him, he gets the kids to tell me all sorts of things. It is hurting them. My 7 year old has self esteem problems and is struggling in school. But I don't know how to prove he does these things. I don't want to keep my children from their father either. It is just all so crazy and stressful. For now all I can do is pray that my children will realize the truth or that their father will see the light.
lisa lou

United States

#7 Nov 16, 2009
And yes panther, he did have me beat down. I never talked to anyone, was not confident enough. Then at the place I was working, I became friends with a Christian man and woman. I never had any friends before that. Did not ever open up to people. That was the beginning of me breaking free and seeing him for what he is. For the first time, I had people interested in me and how I feel. I heard stories of how they interacted with their spouses and saw the kindness and love they had for one another. It took awhile, but I finally got up the nerve.
Randy Danner

United States

#8 Nov 17, 2009
Gunpowder n Lead wrote:
Domestic violence is one of the highest crimes in Logan County. Why? Because they get a slap on the wrist. Community service is not enough!
Agree 100%, only thing is that they believe that they 'love' them so they don't tell anyone about it, but you can tell if it's happening to someone after seeing them appear with random bruises all the time and making some shit excuse to why it happened. Sometimes though even if you try to help them out of the mess they run back to it.
hmm

Hanson, KY

#9 Nov 17, 2009
Billy Lee is a woman beater. He also raped an 18 yr. old. Fact, not fiction.
panther

United States

#10 Nov 17, 2009
Randy Danner is right, abuse victims especially wives or significant other have been so brainwashed and deluded into thinking no one loves her but the abuser and she really does deserve to be beaten, they stay or run back to it... These are mind games, the victim has got to be shown over and over again that they are valued, that they deserve better..
If you have a friend , sister, daughter, granddaughter, who after meeting and going with this man for some time and maybe getting married, all of a sudden she withdraws from the family, does not want to talk about her married life at all, will not go anywhere without him and has signs of bruising,these are all signs of abuse, mental, physical...it's all the same, take action.. If nothing else get a priest or pastor involved. don't sit and think it is none of your business, it definitely is your business, take action.
Big Jon

United States

#11 Nov 18, 2009
Throwing names out here will not solve the problem. These type of men are good at fooling people. They can appear to be the best person in the world to their family, friends, and co-workers. They prey on women that are weak, have low self esteem, those who are struggling, etc. I think the best thing to do is to educate young women about violence. Teach them to love and respect themselves. As a father with a daughter, stay involved in her life always. Show her with your own actions how a man is to act and treat women. Then she won't expect anything less.
well

Barnesville, OH

#12 Nov 18, 2009
It is a widely held assumption that women are always the victims and men are always the perpetrators. Between 50 and 60% of all domestic abuse and violence is against women. There are many reasons why people assume men are never victims and why women often ignore the possibility. For one thing, domestic abuse and violence has been minimized, justified and ignored for a very long time. Women are now more organized, supportive and outspoken about the epidemic of domestic abuse and violence against women. Very little attention has been paid to the issue of domestic abuse and violence against men - especially because violence against women has been so obvious and was ignored for so long.

There are many reasons why we don't know more about domestic abuse and violence against men. First of all, the incidence of domestic violence reported men appears to be so low that it is hard to get reliable estimates. In addition, it has taken years of advocacy and support to encourage women to report domestic violence. Virtually nothing has been done to encourage men to report abuse. The idea that men could be victims of domestic abuse and violence is so unthinkable that many men will not even attempt to report the situation.

The dynamic of domestic abuse and violence is also different between men and women. The reasons, purposes and motivations are often very different between sexes. Although the counseling and psychological community have responded to domestic abuse and violence against women, there has been very little investment in resources to address and understand the issues of domestic abuse and violence against men. In most cases, the actual physical damage inflicted by men is so much greater than the actual physical harm inflected by women. The impact of domestic violence is less apparent and less likely to come to the attention of others when men are abused. For example, it is assumed than a man with a bruise or black eye was in a fight with another man or was injured on the job or playing contact sports. Even when men do report domestic abuse and violence, most people are so astonished men usually end up feeling like nobody believes them.

Since: Nov 09

United States

#13 Nov 18, 2009
well wrote:
It is a widely held assumption that women are always the victims and men are always the perpetrators. Between 50 and 60% of all domestic abuse and violence is against women. There are many reasons why people assume men are never victims and why women often ignore the possibility. For one thing, domestic abuse and violence has been minimized, justified and ignored for a very long time. Women are now more organized, supportive and outspoken about the epidemic of domestic abuse and violence against women. Very little attention has been paid to the issue of domestic abuse and violence against men - especially because violence against women has been so obvious and was ignored for so long.
There are many reasons why we don't know more about domestic abuse and violence against men. First of all, the incidence of domestic violence reported men appears to be so low that it is hard to get reliable estimates. In addition, it has taken years of advocacy and support to encourage women to report domestic violence. Virtually nothing has been done to encourage men to report abuse. The idea that men could be victims of domestic abuse and violence is so unthinkable that many men will not even attempt to report the situation.
The dynamic of domestic abuse and violence is also different between men and women. The reasons, purposes and motivations are often very different between sexes. Although the counseling and psychological community have responded to domestic abuse and violence against women, there has been very little investment in resources to address and understand the issues of domestic abuse and violence against men. In most cases, the actual physical damage inflicted by men is so much greater than the actual physical harm inflected by women. The impact of domestic violence is less apparent and less likely to come to the attention of others when men are abused. For example, it is assumed than a man with a bruise or black eye was in a fight with another man or was injured on the job or playing contact sports. Even when men do report domestic abuse and violence, most people are so astonished men usually end up feeling like nobody believes them.
You know I read all that, and to sum it all up, your saying men are sometimes abused by women, because it happens less than one or the other, etc,. Yes we all know this, so let what we say apply to everyone and not just one gender. No need for a dramatic explanation, think you ran a bit with it.
well

Barnesville, OH

#14 Nov 18, 2009
I realize I ran on for a bit. This was necessary to do though, if I had just said abuse goes both ways or men can be victims of abuse also. There are many that wouldn't believe it. So, I tried to give a thorough explanation.
well

Barnesville, OH

#15 Nov 18, 2009
did you know that in 2002 1 out of 8 rape victims were male?

did you know that a majority of the victims and rapist were heterosexual?

my point it, as you may have already guessed. victims aren't just women.
hmm

Hanson, KY

#16 Nov 18, 2009
How the heck does a woman rape a man lol?
well

Barnesville, OH

#17 Nov 18, 2009
actually the rape of a man by a female isn't that difficult, once he's subdued or even unconscious. and erection can be achieved by manual stimulation of the penis on a healthy male. But the cases I was referring to were males raping males.
hmm

Hanson, KY

#18 Nov 19, 2009
Oh ok. =) That explains it pretty well.
not there

Madisonville, KY

#19 Nov 19, 2009
NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE

1 800 799 SAFE (7233) or 1 800 787 3224 (TDD)

The National Domestic Violence Hot line provides detailed information on the Domestic Violence Hot line services, guidance on providing support to someone being abused, domestic violence statistics and other related materials and links.

If you are looking for assistance in Kentucky, please visit our Member Domestic Violence Programs page, to find the shelter located in your area. mabey this will help
HATE THEM

Russellville, KY

#20 Apr 2, 2012
Throwing nAMES out there will help, it will help someone relize who he is before they get the shit beat out of em like a friend of mine did for years. CHRIS BURCHETT!!

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