child custody question
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Penny

Tucker, GA

#1 Jan 30, 2013
Been separated for 5 yrs from ex. Tried to work on things at one point to no avail. Fast forward to last summer and I file for divorce and since met a new person and got serious . Ex and I have joint custody in the divorce so far , temporary order we agreed . I am pregnant by boyfriend - was unplanned but still happy news. We were not trying but sometimes god has other plans . My problem is now that soon to be ex knows he's petioned for sole custody . I know all these circumstances make fir complications but I am a loving caring , working mother. I went through this the first time we almost divorced . He would snatch our child for weeks at a time b4 we got into court . I've been nothing but fair with him, he is a good dad but driven by his anger. What will happen when he try's to change the temp custody to him having sole?
okk

Russell Springs, KY

#4 Jan 30, 2013
Penny wrote:
Been separated for 5 yrs from ex. Tried to work on things at one point to no avail. Fast forward to last summer and I file for divorce and since met a new person and got serious . Ex and I have joint custody in the divorce so far , temporary order we agreed . I am pregnant by boyfriend - was unplanned but still happy news. We were not trying but sometimes god has other plans . My problem is now that soon to be ex knows he's petioned for sole custody . I know all these circumstances make fir complications but I am a loving caring , working mother. I went through this the first time we almost divorced . He would snatch our child for weeks at a time b4 we got into court . I've been nothing but fair with him, he is a good dad but driven by his anger. What will happen when he try's to change the temp custody to him having sole?
If you were a smart mother then you wouldn't have let yourself get knocked up by your boyfriend while still legally married to your husband.
NO FAIRNESS

Russell Springs, KY

#6 Jan 30, 2013
tina wrote:
<quoted text> Shame on you slutty trashy ho. What kind of example are you to your child while still married and sleeping around and getting knocked up?
My thoughts exactly! I don't understand women spreading their legs and then expecting to get all sorts of sympathy!
player

Jamestown, KY

#8 Jan 31, 2013
You Wil Lose.Law in Law Book
Linda

Greensburg, KY

#9 Jan 31, 2013
Penny it is not a good reflection on you, as a responsible person, to have gotten pregnant while married. Technically, as long as he is your legal husband he can probably claim a right to the child your pregnant with if he chooses to. What's the hold up with divorce? If you've been separated or not sharing a marital bed for a few months then divorce should be immediate. So why delay?
You're consideration should be where will your current child have her needs met best at. With you or him? You truly messed up, sounds like you've not known this new guy long. He will probably be gone when child comes along. Can be support 4 people? If not you should kick him to the curb.

I love kids and glad you're having this one, but surely you know by doing so, you are taking away from your current child no matter the situation. You sound selfish and self serving. Maybe you should give him sole custody.
Whatever you do don't use a lawyer jointly. Have your own or you'll get screwed on child support. It should be based on x's income. A set fee by the state. Maybe he wants her so be don't have to fork over money to you. But child support will never be enough to take care of your child's needs.
You acted irresponsible and may pay for that by losing your child. Get smart and think next time before doing.
Interested

Casey, IL

#10 Jan 31, 2013
Wow, judge much? and I bet you all preach about abortion to. You folks SUCK!!!
Interested

Casey, IL

#12 Jan 31, 2013
so you must be like 12 years old. i really feel sorry for you...no love in your heart. Doesn't it get exhausting carrying around all of that negative energy?
Advice

Russell Springs, KY

#13 Feb 1, 2013
Penny wrote:
Been separated for 5 yrs from ex. Tried to work on things at one point to no avail. Fast forward to last summer and I file for divorce and since met a new person and got serious . Ex and I have joint custody in the divorce so far , temporary order we agreed . I am pregnant by boyfriend - was unplanned but still happy news. We were not trying but sometimes god has other plans . My problem is now that soon to be ex knows he's petioned for sole custody . I know all these circumstances make fir complications but I am a loving caring , working mother. I went through this the first time we almost divorced . He would snatch our child for weeks at a time b4 we got into court . I've been nothing but fair with him, he is a good dad but driven by his anger. What will happen when he try's to change the temp custody to him having sole?
Penny, you really need to seek legal advice from a lawyer.
Agree

Russell Springs, KY

#20 Feb 2, 2013
A woman who has a child by a man, then turns around and wants to have children by another man is an unfit mother! PLAIN AND CLEAR
So, the proper thing to do is to grant custody to the father and make the woman who wants a new baby by another man pay child support!
The system makes it TOO easy for a woman to get Their "Baby Hustle" On!
You know, get knocked up purposefully by different men...... Have 2 or 3 baby daddy's....Hell, in the Commonwealth that's a career!
It's Called "BABY HUSTLER" ~AKA~ "STAY AT HOME MOM"
haha

Russell Springs, KY

#21 Feb 2, 2013
If the men don't want to have a baby they can always "wrap it before they tap it!"
Linda

Greensburg, KY

#23 Feb 7, 2013
Agree wrote:
A woman who has a child by a man, then turns around and wants to have children by another man is an unfit mother! PLAIN AND CLEAR
So, the proper thing to do is to grant custody to the father and make the woman who wants a new baby by another man pay child support!
The system makes it TOO easy for a woman to get Their "Baby Hustle" On!
You know, get knocked up purposefully by different men...... Have 2 or 3 baby daddy's....Hell, in the Commonwealth that's a career!
It's Called "BABY HUSTLER" ~AKA~ "STAY AT HOME MOM"
You make a great point. But most of these women who get pregnant on purpose in an attempt to snag a man, fail to realize how she could have to give up custody. Then get a job and pay child support. Women pay child support in all other states. They should have to here as well.
And who in the world is separated for 5 long years? Not husband and wife, yet not single or free. Stupid.
I have to wonder if this woman is repeating mistakes? I wonder if she was pregnant when she married this one she's separated from? Should teach women something. A child will not make a man love or stay with you. So now she's repeating that in hopes of a different outcome? Ignorant. Maybe she isn't doing that but I have to wonder.
Men who are not going to be more careful when they have sex with someone should just tell them up front if they get pregnant, they are toast.and won't fall for that trap. But they still should love, support and be there for their child.
saddie

Russell Springs, KY

#24 Feb 9, 2013
Its all easier said than done... Say a guy came calling after he had got married and then went out on his wife with his ex ,she got pregant told him and they stayed Lovers for 18 yrs say He knows this Child is his ....What would you do to this guy or say to him???????
Buncha Arsholes

Russell Springs, KY

#27 Feb 12, 2013
Penny, ignore most of that crap. As long as you have a stable place for you and your child, you work and take good care of your children you are doing the right thing. If there isn't a legitimate reason for him to take your child, then no he can not. You may have to fight it in court, but as long as you two have been separated and with the divorce in process, it should not be an issue. Just fight it in court if it comes to that and make sure there is no reason for him to claim you're unfit as a parent. It's not right for him to try and take your baby away from you just because you've moved on after a FIVE YEAR separation. He don't stand a chance as long as you're a good momma! Congratulations on the new life you've created.
yar

Warrenton, VA

#29 Feb 13, 2013
First of all,i would leave God's name out of your problem !Is the bf going to marry you as soon as divorce is final ? If so,you should have no problems if he is a decent man.You may have several court dates before this is over.Always remember,let he is without sin cast the first stone,and he who says he /she is nothing but a liar !Word's spoken by Jesus !

“Some Beach”

Since: Jul 07

Location hidden

#30 Feb 13, 2013
Buncha Arsholes wrote:
Penny, ignore most of that crap. As long as you have a stable place for you and your child, you work and take good care of your children you are doing the right thing. If there isn't a legitimate reason for him to take your child, then no he can not. You may have to fight it in court, but as long as you two have been separated and with the divorce in process, it should not be an issue. Just fight it in court if it comes to that and make sure there is no reason for him to claim you're unfit as a parent. It's not right for him to try and take your baby away from you just because you've moved on after a FIVE YEAR separation. He don't stand a chance as long as you're a good momma! Congratulations on the new life you've created.
Great advice
Linda

Greensburg, KY

#31 Feb 13, 2013
Penny wrote:
Been separated for 5 yrs from ex. Tried to work on things at one point to no avail. Fast forward to last summer and I file for divorce and since met a new person and got serious . Ex and I have joint custody in the divorce so far , temporary order we agreed . I am pregnant by boyfriend - was unplanned but still happy news. We were not trying but sometimes god has other plans . My problem is now that soon to be ex knows he's petioned for sole custody . I know all these circumstances make fir complications but I am a loving caring , working mother. I went through this the first time we almost divorced . He would snatch our child for weeks at a time b4 we got into court . I've been nothing but fair with him, he is a good dad but driven by his anger. What will happen when he try's to change the temp custody to him having sole?
Penny, it is unlikely that he will be granted sole custody unless you've been an unfit mother. You sound like you love and want the best for your child. That's a great starting point. You said you filed for divorce but did not say it was granted. Why not?
I can sort of understand his fear about another man being around his child, acting as a parent, etc. it is true that lots of step parents are unusually harsh to children that aren't theirs. The child suffers. Although, there also are great step parents who are a blessing for your child.
It's unfortunate you couldn't have better thought this through before becoming pregnant. Are your plans to marry this boyfriend? If not why not?
I'd recommend joint custody. The courts can set it all up as far as visitation, etc. his child support or the support you pay to him will also be done through the courts. Once it's decided you've no need to discuss or argue with him about it again. In fact you can set it up where he pays right to the courts & they give you a check. Simple.
I'd definitely be getting that divorce finalized though.
Pegasus

Russell Springs, KY

#32 Feb 13, 2013
saddie wrote:
Its all easier said than done... Say a guy came calling after he had got married and then went out on his wife with his ex ,she got pregant told him and they stayed Lovers for 18 yrs say He knows this Child is his ....What would you do to this guy or say to him???????
Saddie was you married at the time of this "calling"?Regardless ,you knew he was with someone so you should have went the other way.Did he take care of your so called love child?
Linda

Cecilia, KY

#34 Feb 20, 2013
saddie wrote:
Its all easier said than done... Say a guy came calling after he had got married and then went out on his wife with his ex ,she got pregant told him and they stayed Lovers for 18 yrs say He knows this Child is his ....What would you do to this guy or say to him???????
Well, first of all you knew he was remarried & obviously worthless (sleeping around on wife) but you slept with him anyway. He came to you because he knew you did not think enough of yourself to say NO. I'd almost bet he went out on you before you were ever divorced too. Just like he bedded you though married to someone else.
It should have been obvious to you that any kind of commitment means zero to this man. Women are something to be used for physical satisfaction period. That you would ever allow yourself to be in a position to get pregnant by someone of this low caliber says volumes about you.
And none of it has a thing to do with caring or loving feelings.

I'd suggest you learn how to care more about yourself and whatever children you have so you don't find yourself in these horrible no win situations again. They will only make you continue to feel bad about yourself & sell yourself short.

You have set the bar way to low for yourself. No one in this world will make your life complete until or unless you are absolutely ok in your own skin by yourself and happy with yourself. You don't have to be perfect but you do need to know what your limitations, boundaries, & rules are for yourself. It is entirely your choice to set your life on a path that you can be content & happy with. It is also your choice to allow people to see you as someone they can 'use and abuse'(screw & leave) and allow them to give you exactly what you ask for.
So if you do not want the bull crap in your life then stop accepting it. It really is as easy as that. Make up your mind what you will settle for and what you won't. Then stick to your guns. It will make you feel good about yourself and you'll get stronger each time you stand your ground. Good luck.

Since: May 11

Dundee, UK

#35 Feb 21, 2013
"sometimes god has other plans"....priceless LMAO

trollin`?
well

Russell Springs, KY

#36 Feb 21, 2013
oddie wrote:
<quoted text>Great advice
You're stupid!

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