Is it wrong to call an addicts Doctor...

Is it wrong to call an addicts Doctor about pill abuse?

Posted in the Rome Forum

Concerned

Ithaca, NY

#1 Jan 27, 2013
My husband gets a script every month for 60 Ocycodone's, they are gone in 3-4 days. He is only supposed to be taking 2 a day! He take 15-20 a day. After he is done with those pills he is sick for days calling in sick to work, terrrible stomach pain, but denies they are the pills. Is it wrong to conrtact his Doctor and tell them? he will not discuss his pill use with me EVER! Always says i don't want to discuss it or "What do you wanna fight". i have read onlin that this pill is the #1 cause of accidental death among pain pills i love him very much and I feel if i sit by and do nothing and they die I will not be able to live with myself!! He always says I am trying to control him about his usage that I want things my way and that I am playing GOD! i want to call his Doctor or write them a letter would I be wrong for this, it might be the end of our relationship but to me his life is more imporatnt then us!! Help what do I do?
Concerned

Ithaca, NY

#2 Jan 27, 2013
Let me please add that i was also addicted to these same pills and sold mine for a time. i was taking 3 or 4 a day but have not used or gotten any pills in over 2 months. I am called a hypocrite for asking him to stop, but the amount he takes can be deadly, I know that they built up a tolerance to these but the aspirin in these pills will kill him before the drug. I wanted to come clean and not be one sided as I am sure he will read this. I just worry so much 15-20 pills a day!!! I don't want to lose him.
no hypocrite

Bridgeport, NY

#3 Jan 27, 2013
Concerned wrote:
Let me please add that i was also addicted to these same pills and sold mine for a time. i was taking 3 or 4 a day but have not used or gotten any pills in over 2 months. I am called a hypocrite for asking him to stop, but the amount he takes can be deadly, I know that they built up a tolerance to these but the aspirin in these pills will kill him before the drug. I wanted to come clean and not be one sided as I am sure he will read this. I just worry so much 15-20 pills a day!!! I don't want to lose him.
If he continues to take that many pills a day...he has a substance abuse prob, not pain, that's the excuse to getting the pills. Promise you if you do nothing, he will not wake up one of these days.
no hypocrite

Bridgeport, NY

#4 Jan 27, 2013
Concerned wrote:
Let me please add that i was also addicted to these same pills and sold mine for a time. i was taking 3 or 4 a day but have not used or gotten any pills in over 2 months. I am called a hypocrite for asking him to stop, but the amount he takes can be deadly, I know that they built up a tolerance to these but the aspirin in these pills will kill him before the drug. I wanted to come clean and not be one sided as I am sure he will read this. I just worry so much 15-20 pills a day!!! I don't want to lose him.
Pls let me add, you maybe the link to saving his life
not good

Watertown, NY

#5 Jan 27, 2013
Concerned wrote:
My husband gets a script every month for 60 Ocycodone's, they are gone in 3-4 days. He is only supposed to be taking 2 a day! He take 15-20 a day. After he is done with those pills he is sick for days calling in sick to work, terrrible stomach pain, but denies they are the pills. Is it wrong to conrtact his Doctor and tell them? he will not discuss his pill use with me EVER! Always says i don't want to discuss it or "What do you wanna fight". i have read onlin that this pill is the #1 cause of accidental death among pain pills i love him very much and I feel if i sit by and do nothing and they die I will not be able to live with myself!! He always says I am trying to control him about his usage that I want things my way and that I am playing GOD! i want to call his Doctor or write them a letter would I be wrong for this, it might be the end of our relationship but to me his life is more imporatnt then us!! Help what do I do?
it's not wrong. It's the pills talking. He needs help
Concerned

Ithaca, NY

#6 Jan 27, 2013
this is the EXACT email I just recieved from him!! I guess he didnt take it so well! Because I called His Doctor!!!!
----------
No worries – there won’t be anymore “back and forth”, you have completely crossed the line. You have changed the dynamic of a 30 YEAR doctor/patient relationship, and that can NEVER be undone.

I was doing nothing when you left and we talked about when you got home, so your BS story of trying to save my life blah blah blah just doesn’t hold water. It was one more way of you trying to control me.

You are SO concerned with how OTHER people live their lives, what OTHER people should or should not do and then you go and play GOD. Some things are none of your damn business and you should think things through before acting on them. Did you think this was all going to work out Your way? You have succeeded in burning all of your bridges, well except the one with your mother. Be very careful you may burn that one too if you don’t learn to mind your business.

This is not the first time you interfered in my life and said things thinking you were “helping me” HA. But, this was with someone I have built a relationship with for so many years and I will never have the opportunity to do that again. You took that away from me. Forever.

I can’t stop you from doing idiotic things in the future to try controlling my life, but I don’t have to sit by blindly thinking you’re my friend while you do it.

So, to respond to your first sentence “Please we have to end this”--- DONE.

Go to Syracuse, go to Detroit for all I care, just GO! You went too far this time and there is NO going back!

Let me know when you want to pick up ALL of your stuff. Send me a list of any things other than your clothes that I should have ready for you, I will gather them today.

No glory in being God, is there?...
Been there

Brooklyn, NY

#7 Jan 27, 2013
In this situation it seems his addiction is lashing out because you interfered and cut his supply. It hurts but stay strong if you see a problem the doctors can work with him or find a doctor who can help ween off the pain killers. You were not wrong because he's abusing the pills and that is the term of abuse. I've been down that road and am now an alcohol and substance abuse counselor going to be a doctor for addiction.
Concerned

Ithaca, NY

#8 Jan 27, 2013
Thats all well and good but try and explain that to him, just gets angry and stays that way. Pushes me away anytime I mention any addiction, it is hard but i try and hang in there. But until the addict is ready they usually choose the addiction over love everytime :(!
Been there

Brooklyn, NY

#9 Jan 27, 2013
Very true he has to want the help in order to get it, but there's no crime in you trying to help him realize and not enabling him. He may not realize it but it shows your caring about him not controlling him. It hurts but walking away helps too...the theory of losing everything and hitting rock bottom in order to start the recovery process.
amber

Bridgeport, NY

#10 Jan 27, 2013
Concerned wrote:
this is the EXACT email I just recieved from him!! I guess he didnt take it so well! Because I called His Doctor!!!!
----------
No worries – there won’t be anymore “back and forth”, you have completely crossed the line. You have changed the dynamic of a 30 YEAR doctor/patient relationship, and that can NEVER be undone.

I was doing nothing when you left and we talked about when you got home, so your BS story of trying to save my life blah blah blah just doesn’t hold water. It was one more way of you trying to control me.

You are SO concerned with how OTHER people live their lives, what OTHER people should or should not do and then you go and play GOD. Some things are none of your damn business and you should think things through before acting on them. Did you think this was all going to work out Your way? You have succeeded in burning all of your bridges, well except the one with your mother. Be very careful you may burn that one too if you don’t learn to mind your business.

This is not the first time you interfered in my life and said things thinking you were “helping me” HA. But, this was with someone I have built a relationship with for so many years and I will never have the opportunity to do that again. You took that away from me. Forever.

I can’t stop you from doing idiotic things in the future to try controlling my life, but I don’t have to sit by blindly thinking you’re my friend while you do it.

So, to respond to your first sentence “Please we have to end this”--- DONE.

Go to Syracuse, go to Detroit for all I care, just GO! You went too far this time and there is NO going back!

Let me know when you want to pick up ALL of your stuff. Send me a list of any things other than your clothes that I should have ready for you, I will gather them today.

No glory in being God, is there?...
Give me the dr.'s name and I will take care of it for him
Relate

Oneonta, NY

#11 Jan 27, 2013
Girl feel for you. I have been with an addict before and it is very hard. You obviously love him very much to do as you did, and congrats on you quiting. This man shuld be supportive of you and you trying to better yourself. I read that email he send to you and to me it seems he is the controlling one, This is what an addict does they blame others for everything, they try and pretend they have control of things while the one certainty of addiction is loss of control. You call his Doctor and your stuff is packed and ready to go? This is control this is the drug addict saying how dare you mess with my addiction look what I can do to you now. You deserve a good and loving man, someone that will love you like you love this man. In a relationship with an addict the addiction almost always wins. With the amount of medication you said he was taking he was sure to die. You absolutely did the right thing. Just the fact of how he reacted says addiction. If you took away my favorite shirt I wouldn't care but if you take away my cigarettes, my coffee, my drugs I flip out, why because I am addicted to it and think I need them. hold your head girl you did what was right know that till the end , and is he is so stupid to see it then leave him and stay away. The only peron that can be with an addict is another addict that is unless your just willing to look the other way and let them destroy themselves and you with them. Addicts are very selfish and instead of seeing the love in your actions they just see that you cut off their supply, good luck. There is someone out there that deserves the kind of love you so freely give.
Smile

Earlville, NY

#12 Jan 27, 2013
He's going to mad at you for a while but you did the right thing for him and for you!! He will either get worse or he will learn from his mistakes including the one he is making with you so don't feel bad... It was done out of love
rehabilitation

Oneonta, NY

#14 Jan 28, 2013
Take him to rehab
around the block

Brooklyn, NY

#17 Feb 1, 2013
The best policy is to go directly to the doctor WITH the patient in tow.... then there is no room for lies or subterfuge. If the patient refuses, then it is YOU who should offer the ultimatum. Unfortunately there are some people out there who will contact doctors only to defame or hurt a person so the doctors have to consider the source. I have dealt with an addict in the family and my way was to tell them if they wanted my help and support I would be present during their doctor visit and they would sign a consent to release so I could stay abreast of the situation with the doctors help. It is not about control. It is about controlling oyur own environment from the stress they cause with their dangerous behavior

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