Cigars are not tampons

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Cigar Lover

Marlton, NJ

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#1
Aug 9, 2013
 

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I bought two boxes at an auction of cigars once owned by President Kennedy. The first box cost me $45,000 dollars. The second box cost me $135,000. I am not a rich man and my wife had the great idea to use them as tampons. She put the "used" cigars in a plastic bag and never told me. My Army buddies are coming to visit and I thought it would be great to share a couple of my presidential cigars. I couldn't believe it when I discovered what she had done. Is there any way to fix these cigars so they are smokeable? I love my wife but I am at my wits end. Any ideas are greatly appreciated. In the back of my mind I think she did this on purpose but on the other hand that is not the way she is. Please help. My buddies are coming in a few weeks.
observer

Rome, NY

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#4
Aug 10, 2013
 
ask bill Clinton and monica
Greatful Roman

United States

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#6
Aug 24, 2013
 

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Cigar Lover wrote:
I bought two boxes at an auction of cigars once owned by President Kennedy. The first box cost me $45,000 dollars. The second box cost me $135,000. I am not a rich man and my wife had the great idea to use them as tampons. She put the "used" cigars in a plastic bag and never told me. My Army buddies are coming to visit and I thought it would be great to share a couple of my presidential cigars. I couldn't believe it when I discovered what she had done. Is there any way to fix these cigars so they are smokeable? I love my wife but I am at my wits end. Any ideas are greatly appreciated. In the back of my mind I think she did this on purpose but on the other hand that is not the way she is. Please help. My buddies are coming in a few weeks.
You have to freeze the "used" cigars solid (more than 50 below zero). Then place them in a vacuum while keeping them frozen. This will allow the liquid portion of the menstrual material to sublimate. After a few hours all you have to do is peel away the remainder of the solid part of her girl blood and the cigars will be good as new. Just make sure you don't thaw them too quickly. It may sound strange but this happens all of the time. My wife did this to a bunch of my cigars (although they were not as expensive as yours) and this approach worked really well. Good Luck!!!!
Just Looking

Syracuse, NY

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#7
Aug 24, 2013
 
Cigar Lover wrote:
I bought two boxes at an auction of cigars once owned by President Kennedy. The first box cost me $45,000 dollars. The second box cost me $135,000. I am not a rich man and my wife had the great idea to use them as tampons. She put the "used" cigars in a plastic bag and never told me. My Army buddies are coming to visit and I thought it would be great to share a couple of my presidential cigars. I couldn't believe it when I discovered what she had done. Is there any way to fix these cigars so they are smokeable? I love my wife but I am at my wits end. Any ideas are greatly appreciated. In the back of my mind I think she did this on purpose but on the other hand that is not the way she is. Please help. My buddies are coming in a few weeks.
This story sounds made up.
lmfao

United States

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#8
Aug 24, 2013
 

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bs nobody in this poor town can pay 2 bucks for a cigar let alone that price, you are a moron
Cigar lover

United States

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#9
Sep 7, 2013
 

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Greatful Roman wrote:
<quoted text>
You have to freeze the "used" cigars solid (more than 50 below zero). Then place them in a vacuum while keeping them frozen. This will allow the liquid portion of the menstrual material to sublimate. After a few hours all you have to do is peel away the remainder of the solid part of her girl blood and the cigars will be good as new. Just make sure you don't thaw them too quickly. It may sound strange but this happens all of the time. My wife did this to a bunch of my cigars (although they were not as expensive as yours) and this approach worked really well. Good Luck!!!!
Thank you so much for the advice. Your approach worked well. A would add that you have to make sure you removed the sublimated fluid to make sure it does not return to the cigar but that is easy enough with an efficient vacuum pump. The 50 below temp you recommend is perfect. I tried 75 below but the fluid would not sublimate. Only thing I would add be careful when peeling away the solid material since you want to protect the wrapper. The cigars were as good as new so again thank you. The wife apologized to me profusely and I have forgiven her. I told her if that's what she in to she needs to use less expensive cigars.
I want whats best

Huntington Beach, CA

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#10
Sep 10, 2013
 
Cigar lover wrote:
<quoted text>
Thank you so much for the advice. Your approach worked well. A would add that you have to make sure you removed the sublimated fluid to make sure it does not return to the cigar but that is easy enough with an efficient vacuum pump. The 50 below temp you recommend is perfect. I tried 75 below but the fluid would not sublimate. Only thing I would add be careful when peeling away the solid material since you want to protect the wrapper. The cigars were as good as new so again thank you. The wife apologized to me profusely and I have forgiven her. I told her if that's what she in to she needs to use less expensive cigars.
I rest my case.
Girl

Huntington Beach, CA

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#11
Sep 12, 2013
 
Cigar lover wrote:
<quoted text>
Thank you so much for the advice. Your approach worked well. A would add that you have to make sure you removed the sublimated fluid to make sure it does not return to the cigar but that is easy enough with an efficient vacuum pump. The 50 below temp you recommend is perfect. I tried 75 below but the fluid would not sublimate. Only thing I would add be careful when peeling away the solid material since you want to protect the wrapper. The cigars were as good as new so again thank you. The wife apologized to me profusely and I have forgiven her. I told her if that's what she in to she needs to use less expensive cigars.
It is not safe to use cigars as tampons. Also how would you remove them when they are wet; Also the cigars would fall apart; Also there would be cigar residue left inside which would be hard to remove; Also the cigars would not absorb enough to work well. Other than these issues cigars are great tampons - NOT!!!
Seriously

Oneida, NY

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#12
Sep 12, 2013
 
As a Cigar smoker for over 15+ years, if anyone is buying this story, then I have a tropical island in upstate NY to sell you.
Truth will set you free

Huntington Beach, CA

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#13
Sep 12, 2013
 
Seriously wrote:
As a Cigar smoker for over 15+ years, if anyone is buying this story, then I have a tropical island in upstate NY to sell you.
I disagree. As a cigar smoker you should realize that President Kennedy ordered Pierre Salinger to procure 1200 Cuban cigars (I think Hupmanns or something like that) before he ordered the embargo on all Cuban imports. I believe some of these cigars are still around and are auctioned periodically. So that part of the story sound true. Women do crazy things so that part of the story also sound true. I don't have first hand knowledge of this topix but I am inclined to believe it. Perhaps "Cigar Lover" could provide additional information to clarify any of your concerns.
Vaginal Research

South Freeport, ME

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#14
Sep 27, 2013
 
Girl wrote:
<quoted text>
It is not safe to use cigars as tampons. Also how would you remove them when they are wet; Also the cigars would fall apart; Also there would be cigar residue left inside which would be hard to remove; Also the cigars would not absorb enough to work well. Other than these issues cigars are great tampons - NOT!!!
Girl, I am wondering is cigars can cause toxic shock syndrome. Just want to make sure these things are done (or not done) by fully informed people.
Needle Nose

Suitland, MD

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#15
Nov 7, 2013
 
My girl friend uses Needle Nose pliers to remove the "used" cigars from her privates.
Guess Who

Pensacola, FL

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#16
Nov 7, 2013
 
Gross, yet funny, in a twisted sort of manner.
I do not believe this

Canastota, NY

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#17
Jan 1, 2014
 
This is hard to believe. If true I have concerns about humanity. If not true I have concerns about humanity.
bob

Ashburn, VA

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#18
Jan 2, 2014
 

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Lighten up people! Geesh! Get the stick out of your ass! It's a joke. Anyone with a smidgeon of common sense or intelligence can see this. If nobody can take a joke, then I have concerns about humanity too.
Jacky

Canastota, NY

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#20
Feb 15, 2014
 
Cigar Lover wrote:
I bought two boxes at an auction of cigars once owned by President Kennedy. The first box cost me $45,000 dollars. The second box cost me $135,000. I am not a rich man and my wife had the great idea to use them as tampons. She put the "used" cigars in a plastic bag and never told me. My Army buddies are coming to visit and I thought it would be great to share a couple of my presidential cigars. I couldn't believe it when I discovered what she had done. Is there any way to fix these cigars so they are smokeable? I love my wife but I am at my wits end. Any ideas are greatly appreciated. In the back of my mind I think she did this on purpose but on the other hand that is not the way she is. Please help. My buddies are coming in a few weeks.
It's like déjà vu. Same exact thing happened to me but I was too embarrassed to bring it up. I guess a woman will use anything when that time of the month arrives.
Burns and Allen

Canastota, NY

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#21
Saturday Mar 22
 

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I do not believe this wrote:
This is hard to believe. If true I have concerns about humanity. If not true I have concerns about humanity.
Society is definitely on the downside.
Samurai Sausage

Rome, NY

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#22
Monday Mar 24
 
bill and monica thought so
Girl Power

Canastota, NY

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#23
Wednesday Apr 9
 
Disagree - cigars are great tampons. If you can't afford them tough!
Hey

Watertown, NY

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#24
Thursday Apr 10
 
Seriously wrote:
As a Cigar smoker for over 15+ years, if anyone is buying this story, then I have a tropical island in upstate NY to sell you.
I am interested in purchasing your property

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