Im 18 and my parents still controlling, how do i break away?

Posted in the Rock View Forum

Comments
1 - 20 of 31 Comments Last updated Nov 23, 2013
First Prev
of 2
Next Last
J dawg

Danville, WV

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#1
Jun 21, 2011
 
Im 18 and my parents still influence my decisions. I want to break away but i dont want to disappoint you know. I havent ever dated because im afraid of disappointing my parents with the wrong guy or just afraid to bring about the topic or just talking about it in general. they are christian so it makes hard to have regular fun. i really really want a tattoo but cant get it even tho im 18. i would like to go out and party and like drink but i cant do that without feeling the pressure of them. i just know if i ever did and they go to ask me a question itd show on my face. i want to break away and be my own person and experience life but i cant.
J dawg

Danville, WV

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#2
Jun 21, 2011
 
my parents arent abusive, just over protective is all..which i cant stand. they dont let me do anything that im now allowed to do. they still treat me as a child. im very responsible and ive always been a good girl, why cant they see i want to grow up
Okay well

Danville, WV

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#3
Jun 21, 2011
 
1.your 18 you can move out
2.if you wanted them to meet a boy just keep bringing him up they'll soon get the picture like everyone has to start somewhere
3.you could just do your on thing and theres not much they can do, then they wil properly shout at you for a while but they will soon realise you want your on life :)

have fun
Aint Right

Washington, DC

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#4
Jun 21, 2011
 

Judged:

2

1

Well, here's a little fact for you. At 18, you don't listen to good advice as much as you should.

But here's a tip. Your parents aren't as stupid or backward as you might think. Most of the time, believe it or not, they are going to be right on whatever issue it is.

It sounds like you still live in their house. And sounds like you have a good amount of respect for them otherwise you would have just done your "thing" before now.

Listen, take it slow. You have all your life to do stupid stuff. Like getting a tattoo!! haha I know it's the cool thing these days but many people regret getting them years after.

One other thing, at 18 you're not legal age to drink. There's a reason for that.

As far as dating, talk with your parents about it. They might not be as unreasonable as you might think. But don't pick a loser!! haha
oops

Danville, WV

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#5
Jun 21, 2011
 

Judged:

1

yeah the first step is to move out, once you have your own place u can do what u want. as long as u r living with them they are going to try and control everything u do. if u have a job then all means make ur own choices and deal with what u choose. If u choose to live there then deal with it, but if u plan on moving out, they can try to control you but it doesn't matter once your out.=)

thats what i had to do is just move out. life is tough and life aint easy, but u have to choose what you want for now.
jerry

Danville, WV

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#6
Jun 21, 2011
 
You're a legal adult now, so you should have that mindset. If you keep thinking that you can't break away, then you just aren't ready to be an "adult." Otherwise, just do it. Adults should make decisions for themselves and face the consequences by themselves. At least, that's what I think.
well

Danville, WV

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#7
Jun 21, 2011
 
you really shouldn't let others control your life. If you want to do something, go do it. Now, I know it's your parents, and it would be terrible for you to lose contact with them because of something like this. But if you really aren't enjoying your life, go somewhere, and do things where you can.
haha

Danville, WV

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#8
Jun 21, 2011
 

Judged:

1

do what i did. join the marine corps.
Christian Ministry M

Danville, WV

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#9
Jun 21, 2011
 
1st of all, maybe you think people/parents can talk anyway they see fit each day. Turns out many parents are abusers. Actually they are not trying to be tough to make you responsible- they are tricking you. This goes for people at school as well. Words are abuse also.

There are 3 types of abusive people/parents. Some hit the bottle. Some hit you. And some run their mouths and put you down. THEY are sick and feel great on being mean, and thats the only reason they do it. They are wrong about everything. The typical abuser is close-minded, self-righteous and was also abused themself. Use defense and read many sites on verbal abuse etc. They tear you down to build themselves up. Abuse causes all known so called Mental Problems. BP OCD etc.

Psychiatrists commit fraud in that there is no medical science in what they do. They do not draw blood to test for imbalances. For chemical imbalances NO test exists.

Jesus name and forgiving others who are wrong is important along with avoiding them.

Contact- Child Protective Services online- not a cure but keeps you safe. Your parents need to forgive the past.

Learn the truth, forgive, and Get Away from them. Read many many sites under "emotional abuse" and "dealing with bullies".

Talk to me. I have some questions for you

Source(s):
Experience with people feeling better on a repeated basis.
i agree

Charlton Heights, WV

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#10
Jun 21, 2011
 
Physical bullying means:

Hitting, kicking, or pushing someone...or even just threatening to do it
Stealing, hiding or ruining someone's things
Making someone do things he or she don't want to do
Verbal bullying means:

Name-calling
Teasing
Insulting
Relationship bullying means:

Refusing to talk to someone
Spreading lies or rumors about someone
Making someone do things he or she doesn't want to do
yep

Charlton Heights, WV

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#11
Jun 21, 2011
 

Judged:

1

The reason why one kid would want to bully another kid is this: when you make someone feel bad, you gain power over him or her. Power makes people feel like they're better than another person, and then that makes them feel really good about themselves. Power also makes you stand out from the crowd. It's a way to get attention from other kids, and even from adults.
read this

Charlton Heights, WV

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#12
Jun 21, 2011
 
tator hole joe

Gilbert, WV

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#13
Jun 21, 2011
 
J dawg wrote:
my parents arent abusive, just over protective is all..which i cant stand. they dont let me do anything that im now allowed to do. they still treat me as a child. im very responsible and ive always been a good girl, why cant they see i want to grow up
go to the store and move out while u are gone.but look around 4 a place to rent before going to the store.once you gone call them and tell them you moving out.i know how you feel.
grow up

United States

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#14
Jun 21, 2011
 
Talk to your parents about dating and the other stuff you want to do, you may find they are not that unresonable. It appears you have great respect for your parents and they have raised you good so I would suggest you talk to them about your concerns and see how it goes. I really don't see why they would have a problem with you dating someone, just don't pick a looser and speaking from experience be careful who you are with and what you do cause you could come to regret it. When dating get to know the person who they are and what they do about there family about them and don't just jump into bed with them (something you would probably regret). As far as a tatoo goes, my parents are christians and would never let me get one and then I had a husband who was very controlling and couldn't get one, but I got my first one when I was 23. My point on this is as long as you live in there house and under their roof then abide by there rules and what they want. It is only respectful to them and there blief and you have many years left to get a tatoo when you are out on your own and not living with them. I could have gotten one while living at home and wanted one, but respected my parents to much to do this. As far as drinking goes you are still not of legal drinking age and I will be honest with you I didn't go out to clubs and drink until I was 23, when my marriage ended. Believe it or not your parents want the best for you and are there for you to guide you. When my parents found out about my tatoo, the only thing that was said actually did not even come from them but from my grandfather and it was "you were raised better than that", but he along with my parents still loved me and didn't disown me. I now have 5 tatoos and my parents don't say anything about them, I know they don't agree with it and they know I know, but they don't say anything about it and have not disowned me over them. As far as men go, my parents did not let me date till I was 16 and I dated 3 men then 2nd one was the one I lost my virginity to and I truly regret that and the 3rd one I married which was a big mistake. My mother told my dad on the day I married my first husband that it would never last, but they let me make the decision, because they knew they had to let me grow up and make mistakes on my own. I then within 5 months relized I made a mistake in getting married, but stayed married for 4 years all because I was afraid of disappointing my parents. I put up with alot of mental and verbal abuse that I did not need to and I never told my parents about it. I had one friend/relative who I could talk to and she knew about all the abuse that went on and when I finally could not take it no longer and decided to leave him she went with me to my parents. Needless to say they were not suprised the marriage did not last, but were suprised about the abuse. After talking to them I found out I had not disappointed them at all by filing for divorce, they were actually expecting it, but they had to let me make my own decisions and mistakes in order to grow. I am now married to another wonderful man who my family loves dearly and my mother tells me all the time she has felt so much more comfortable with my new husband than she did my old one and what is funny is my old husband and I dated for 3 years before getting married and we ended up divorced. My husband now I dated 5 months and we have been together for 11 years now. What I am trying to say is talk to them about how you feel, they may actually understand more than you think, cause I am sure they want the best for you. If once you talk to them and nothing changes then I reccomend getting a job and your own appartment, but realize once you are out on your own it is hard, you have all the bills to pay and you have to work. I don't know how others feel, but I could never go home again, even after my divorce before my 2nd husband I did not go home.
been there

Gilbert, WV

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#15
Jun 22, 2011
 

Judged:

2

2

2

1. Alot of 18 year olds think they know everything. Like they've been there done that. When they havent.

2. If your parents didn't care about you or even give a crap about you, they wouldn't be trying to support you for better decisions and choices in life. Ever stop to think maybe they care enough to try to help you better yourself instead of ending up like most who are let run lose at 18 and end up in a shelter, abused, or on drugs. Be greatful that your parents care enough about you to still want to assist you at 18.

3. Most parents don't want to let go because they fear their child will make a horrid decision and they will end up having to have a funeral for their child because they didn't try to help. Doesn't matter how little of a choice it is they try to assist with or choose for you. It's for a good reason if they love you enough and want to help.

4. When your parents are gone, they're gone. There's no going back. No matter how annoying they seem to right now, they're still your parents and they appear to love and care for you more than you realize.

5. Just from what you said alone seems to me that you don't realize that you are heading down a dead end path. Wanting to drink and party at 18. And most get a tattoo these days and in a few years, or even months, they're regretting it. But that mostly depends on the tattoo because you can't just scrub it off. Just because you think you like it now and may "look good" with it, think of how it may look to your own children or how you will feel about it in years to come. If you get a tattoo it should have a real meaning. Not just "it looks good on me and everyone has it!"

6. Try to put yourself in your parents shoes. Just because they're christian doesn't mean they don't want you to do anything. They're just trying to save you from making a choice you'll live to regret. Think of how it would be for you if you had a child or an 18 year old who was wanting to get out drink, party, stay out late at night, get tattoos, live their life like a party machine... Maybe even getting on drugs while they're drunk and ending up in a hospital. Maybe even in a graveyard 6ft under. Wouldn't feel that great.

Hope this little speech helps.
mississippi girl

Charleston, WV

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#16
Jun 22, 2011
 
I understand how you feel, BUT take it easy. You are still too young to "Have a blast and party". You may go wild, which is every parents fear, if you do that, you could also become a druggie or end up pregnant, what would you do then. Maybe you could get a job now, get some independents first, save your money if you can, see how it really is in the real world, you have been protected and you are an easy target for the wrong people, please be careful and think about this.
J Dawg

Barboursville, WV

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#17
Jun 22, 2011
 
I understand all what is being said. But at the same time, i feel i need to live a lil bit. A tattoo, and drinking is the lest of my worries. I am mainly just talking about living life. They want me to stay home all the time and not go anywhere. When I do go somewhere they are always calling the ppl i am with and starting drama, saying I need to be home. I just feel like I can't stay and do what they want me to do all the time. I feel I need to get out and experience life and just enjoy ppl i like hanging out with that i know do not do bad things like drink and do drugs. But they don't see it that way. I am to be with them 24/7. How am i going to grow up and experience anything when they wont let me?
mississippi girl

Charleston, WV

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#18
Jun 22, 2011
 
Start with a job, tell them you need to work,and maybe it will wprk out.
Aint Right

Washington, DC

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#19
Jun 22, 2011
 

Judged:

1

1

1

The people who had caring parents all had to deal with the same things you're dealing with.

So don't feel alone. Lighten up and enjoy your care free life while you can. There will be time to do all the other stuff.

Focus on getting some more education. Working a dead end job in Oceana isn't going to help you in the long run.
MJA

Welch, WV

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#20
Jun 22, 2011
 
18 is not a magic age and independence is not something you're granted by someone else, it's something you have to work for. When you are living in your own home, buying your own food and clothing and paying for your own transportation, you can make the decisions. When you're getting full or partial support from your parents, you're not independent of them. It is absurd to think they should be responsible for you in every way while you aren't yet you should be allowed to claim all the "rights" of being eighteen and have any personal life you want. If you want to make the rules in your own life, finance your own life. If you're not going to do that, sit in your room, be grateful and be quiet.

Tell me when this thread is updated: (Registration is not required)

Add to my Tracker Send me an email

First Prev
of 2
Next Last
Type in your comments below
Name
(appears on your post)
Comments
Characters left: 4000
Type the numbers you see in the image on the right:

Please note by clicking on "Post Comment" you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Other Recent Rock View Discussions

Search the Rock View Forum:
Title Updated Last By Comments
WV Who do you support for U.S. Senate in West Virg... (Oct '10) 4 min fitness-guru 53,488
Word Association... (Jun '12) 9 min Mystic Cee 973
Word game (Jun '12) 12 min Mystic Cee 575
Drop a Word, Add a Word (Mar '10) 3 hr Theo 7,679
Drop a word, Add a word (Dec '10) 3 hr Theo 1,351
Obama not retiring to Glen Fork 6 hr Bart 1
House appraisal 6 hr Info 3
•••
•••
•••
•••

Rock View Jobs

•••
Enter and win $5000
•••
•••

Rock View People Search

Addresses and phone numbers for FREE

•••

Rock View News, Events & Info

Click for news, events and info in Rock View
•••

Personal Finance

Mortgages [ See current mortgage rates ]
•••