Children being abused
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Concerned

Layland, WV

#1 Jan 20, 2013
What in the world is a parent or grandparent to do when they can not get the CPS or the law to try to get my child out of an unhealthy environment? The laws today are killing our kids in one way or another. A child is being abused, not physical, but mentally abused. How is that right? How is it right that you go to the ones, that are suppose to help you protect your children, and they tell you that if you take your child of that environment and do not take the child back, that you will be the one going to prison. You go & talk to the Family Law Master & he tells you that it is nearly impossible to find a parent unfit. You know things are being done in the said household, but you can not do anything nor can you prove it. Your heart breaks every time you have to take your child home & you sigh a huge sigh of relief when you pick the child up the next time you are suppose to see the child. You know that drugs are going on in the house, you know that there are child molesters going in the house, you know there are people in and out of there at all times. How do I get help? I am willing to listen to whomever has an idea. I truly am at the end of my nerves thinking that I have to take my child back to this place. It is heartbreaking & it is soul wrenching. Please, We NEED HELP!!!
thinking outside the bix

Charleston, WV

#2 Jan 20, 2013
Concerned wrote:
What in the world is a parent or grandparent to do when they can not get the CPS or the law to try to get my child out of an unhealthy environment? The laws today are killing our kids in one way or another. A child is being abused, not physical, but mentally abused. How is that right? How is it right that you go to the ones, that are suppose to help you protect your children, and they tell you that if you take your child of that environment and do not take the child back, that you will be the one going to prison. You go & talk to the Family Law Master & he tells you that it is nearly impossible to find a parent unfit. You know things are being done in the said household, but you can not do anything nor can you prove it. Your heart breaks every time you have to take your child home & you sigh a huge sigh of relief when you pick the child up the next time you are suppose to see the child. You know that drugs are going on in the house, you know that there are child molesters going in the house, you know there are people in and out of there at all times. How do I get help? I am willing to listen to whomever has an idea. I truly am at the end of my nerves thinking that I have to take my child back to this place. It is heartbreaking & it is soul wrenching. Please, We NEED HELP!!!
Maybe it's time to start thinking outside the box and placing things in the home to get them in trouble. Just be careful how you do it. If you're gonna plant things in the home make sure to wear gloves so you don't leave finger prints on whatever it may be your plaining. Your best bet would be to put drugs in the home when you're picking the kids up and them make a call to the cops about it, but make sure it's enough drugs to make it a felony.
Been there

Summersville, WV

#3 Jan 20, 2013
I can believe what you are going thru, have been down that road myself many years ago.First thing you need to do is document every little thing,keep it all written down. Write down who is there at the home when you have to drop the child off, write down car license no. take pictures whatever you can. Ask another family member or friend to help and be willing to talk to the CPS if they can varify what is going on. They should if concerned for the child's well being. Keep doing this,don't let if go. Make phone calls and report it to the CPS each and everytime. Believe me when I say I done this and wore the phones out!! Call the prosercutor's office or write him a letter. Even write the judge,wouldn't hurt. If you truly believe that this child is better with you than sink your teeth into the attorities and don't let go until something is done for this child. If you have to and really want to make some BIG wave call Charleston to the Attorney General's office. Good luck,it is a long slow process and in the mean time the child suffers and you don't get much sleep from worrying while they are in that enviroment, As i said...been there myself...but in the end "they"CPS,Judge,etc. .. did it right!! p.s. Pray and ask our good Lord to intervene!! I'll pray also for you!! Keep me posted on here!!
Wish

Layland, WV

#4 Jan 21, 2013
I wish that the system was different, but they truly dont care. I agree with "Been There". Call everyday if you have to. Take notes, take pictures, get license plate #'s. The sad system is that it is going to take you a long time & being consistent in your fight. Hopefully you will get the child before something bad happens. Wishing you the best of luck.. Prayers coming your way.
BEAR

United States

#5 Jan 21, 2013
The power of prayer works best! Trust in God, put all your faith into Him and He will make things right. If you have a vengeful heart toward these people, God considers that as murder. I will pray for you, the children, and those whom you speak of.
been there

Summersville, WV

#6 Jan 21, 2013
Can I ask how old is this child? The school system being involved is a good way to get some action going. If the child has a case worker ask that the (father or mother be drug tested. I'm telling you keep calling and reporting each and everytime till someone listens. I know that it is (mandatory) for someone from CPS to go and check on the child once there has been a complaint. Unless the laws have changed. If I seen someone from the justice system in the store ,well I'd go right up and ask for help. Once i even called the prosecutor's home early one sunday morning when my grandchild was in a very dangerous situtation.I said is this enough to do an investation? There was an emergency meeting and the child put in my care. Also, always take someone with you as a witness when dropping off and picking up the child. Keep on the phone, keep writing letters,keep speaking out until someone listens. Someday, this child, if lucky enough to make it...will have a voice to speak out. But for now...you have to be it!! And DO SPEAK VERY Loudly TOO!!
Concerned

Dunbar, WV

#7 Jan 21, 2013
The child is 6 yrs. old. They do not want to go home, but according to the law, they have to be made to go home. It is a sad situation. We call, we write letters, we keep notes, we even went & talked to the Magistrate & tried to get in to see the Family Law Master, yet again. No one cares about these kids. It is a shame...
There are people, in the home, that uses & sells drugs, but because they have not been caught, the law can not do anything.
Thank you all for your good thoughts & prayers. WE TAKE ALL ADVICE...
been there

Summersville, WV

#8 Jan 21, 2013
I want to help you...let me see if i can do anything,ok? I'm not the law nor know the law but there has to be something that can be done. Would the child talk to the school counselor, teacher or principle at school? They have to report it, they are mandated to. Our case worker has since left the dept. now if she were on the case you better believe something would have already been done. So sorry for you. I'll keep checking and get back with you. In the mean time go to the school and beg and beg!!
Concerned

Charleston, WV

#9 Jan 21, 2013
It sounds like you people just want to start trouble and if the CPS done went threw this time after time than there is nothing to prove. All you people are doing is hurting the kids and putting the kid's in the middle of your guy's fight. I can tell you people will make your kid's grow up to hate you so better watch out what you guy's do and say.
been there

Summersville, WV

#10 Jan 21, 2013
sorry your last post is confusing...sounds like a diferent person is on here talking now...is there?ok ..as I said I don't know you, but am willing to give you info. that will help the child or children involved.If you want to give me you number I will gladly call and tell you. If you want i can just call him myself and give him the info. that you have given me so far. If you are afraid to put it on here there is always another way. We could meet somewhere safe in the daytime. If you are concerned to get these children to safe ground with you than be willing to speak with this certain police officer ok, he will help you all!!
4TheChildren

Charleston, WV

#11 Jan 21, 2013
First off, looking at the response by "thinking" whereas they state to plant "evidence" all I can do is shake my head in disbelief. Are you honestly posting advise on felonious criminal actions? Let's forget how heinous that sounds, but plant drugs - plenty of them? How is that concern for a child? If the child should gain access to the aforesaid material and die, is that truly sound advice? For the stressed parent/grandparent, please dismiss that ill advice immediately.

If you have the child for visitations, make an appointment with a child psychiatrist/counselor for your next visit. When scheduling the appointment, tell the doctor/counselor of your fears and allow them to do the rest. Do NOT tell the child how to answer, or act, just allow them to feel safe so they can articulate without fear of failure. The law requires they report any and all allegations of any type of abuse immediately.

Contact an attorney familiar with family law and ask how you can have an attorney ad litem appointed for the child, this resolves the "he said, she said" arguments and leaves it in the hands of a court appointed person acting in the best interest of the child.

Documentation of every incident, written, videotaped, with pictures or other means is vital. Be sure to comply as if you had a restraining order against you so as not to be accused of stalking - maintain a distance of at least 100 feet from the person's home in which you are watching. Realize you cannot tape a person's conversation without consent or it is inadmissible in court. If you need to record a conversation, tell them while the recorder is on that you are recording the conversation. If they speak after you forewarn them your evidence is then admissible.

Speak with any physicians or school authorities and tell them to look for signs of "mental/emotional abuse". They have the list of what is deemed abusive in that specific category, once you point them in the direction of suspected abuse, let them take it from there. Again, they are obligated by law to report any/all incidents. Sadly we often have to point them in the direction so they know where to look before the light bulb goes on that alerts them.

Last, but not least, try a workaround rather than contacting the local CPS office. Direct any complaints to the National Center rather than the local center, this way the report gets a higher awareness level and is followed up on by persons from the government and not just a local official who may or may not be acquaintances with the alleged abuser(s).

Child Abuse Hotlines:

If you suspect a child is in immediate danger contact law enforcement as soon as possible.

To get help in the U.S., call:
1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453)– Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline

Never try to interview, interfere, or influence a child. In other words, do not tell the child what to say to a person in an investigative position. You want the child to answer openly, honestly and most importantly without coercion. You do not want a "rehearsed" complainant or that, in and of itself, will be grounds for an authoritative figure to question the validity of the report. They are trained, let them ask the questions without having influenced answers to work with.

If you are still unsatisfied, get in touch with your senator, your local television station, your local newspaper and anyone else that will get answers and action for you.

Best of luck.
been there

Summersville, WV

#12 Jan 21, 2013
4 the children has said it all!!For some reason it sounds like this is the person I spoke with earlier about this. You are right on target with all that was said...thank you for posting this info. with the best of advice!
thinking outside the box

Charleston, WV

#13 Jan 21, 2013
4TheChildren wrote:
First off, looking at the response by "thinking" whereas they state to plant "evidence" all I can do is shake my head in disbelief. Are you honestly posting advise on felonious criminal actions? Let's forget how heinous that sounds, but plant drugs - plenty of them? How is that concern for a child? If the child should gain access to the aforesaid material and die, is that truly sound advice? For the stressed parent/grandparent, please dismiss that ill advice immediately.

If you have the child for visitations, make an appointment with a child psychiatrist/counselor for your next visit. When scheduling the appointment, tell the doctor/counselor of your fears and allow them to do the rest. Do NOT tell the child how to answer, or act, just allow them to feel safe so they can articulate without fear of failure. The law requires they report any and all allegations of any type of abuse immediately.

Contact an attorney familiar with family law and ask how you can have an attorney ad litem appointed for the child, this resolves the "he said, she said" arguments and leaves it in the hands of a court appointed person acting in the best interest of the child.

Documentation of every incident, written, videotaped, with pictures or other means is vital. Be sure to comply as if you had a restraining order against you so as not to be accused of stalking - maintain a distance of at least 100 feet from the person's home in which you are watching. Realize you cannot tape a person's conversation without consent or it is inadmissible in court. If you need to record a conversation, tell them while the recorder is on that you are recording the conversation. If they speak after you forewarn them your evidence is then admissible.

Speak with any physicians or school authorities and tell them to look for signs of "mental/emotional abuse". They have the list of what is deemed abusive in that specific category, once you point them in the direction of suspected abuse, let them take it from there. Again, they are obligated by law to report any/all incidents. Sadly we often have to point them in the direction so they know where to look before the light bulb goes on that alerts them.

Last, but not least, try a workaround rather than contacting the local CPS office. Direct any complaints to the National Center rather than the local center, this way the report gets a higher awareness level and is followed up on by persons from the government and not just a local official who may or may not be acquaintances with the alleged abuser(s).

Child Abuse Hotlines:

If you suspect a child is in immediate danger contact law enforcement as soon as possible.

To get help in the U.S., call:
1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453)– Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline

Never try to interview, interfere, or influence a child. In other words, do not tell the child what to say to a person in an investigative position. You want the child to answer openly, honestly and most importantly without coercion. You do not want a "rehearsed" complainant or that, in and of itself, will be grounds for an authoritative figure to question the validity of the report. They are trained, let them ask the questions without having influenced answers to work with.

If you are still unsatisfied, get in touch with your senator, your local television station, your local newspaper and anyone else that will get answers and action for you.

Best of luck.
I clearly stated to put them there when picking up the kid, that way the child or children will not be there to find them and I also clearly stated to call the cops after doing it and say you saw them when you was picking the kids up. Read carefully before you respond.
Concerned

Dunbar, WV

#14 Jan 21, 2013
been there, the other concerned is not me. I am still working through details to get this child away from the situation that they are in. The other "Concerned" must not be smart enough to come up with their own name.
Thank you so much for all your suggestions & believe me, we are going to do all we can to get some help.
4TheChildren

Charleston, WV

#15 Jan 21, 2013
"Thinking" regardless of your defense, you are giving ill advice which constitutes that you would be conspiring to commit a felony, amongst many other legal and moral issues. I read carefully, you are conspiring to commit a crime plain and simple. Giving plans to do so is also considered a crime. Perhaps rather than thinking outside the box, you should merely reconsider your thought process.

Concerned, there are also child advocates appointed to the family courts. Perhaps you could visit with them and lay out your case and get some legal sound advice and/or help. I'm not sure if you are a parent or a grandparent, however grandparents also have rights. That's another avenue to be ventured wouldst that you should be a maternal/paternal natural grandparent.
Concerned

Charleston, WV

#16 Jan 22, 2013
4TheChildren, I am not going to do anything as to set up these people with illegal drugs. 2 wrongs do not make a right. I am trying to do this in the best & safest way possible without the out coming of all of us being in jail & the child ending up in this horrible system we have. I also want to do it by the law so that the other parent has no way of coming back to take the child.
The CPS in Nicholas County are useless, so we are going to give Charleston a call & see what we can get done there.
We are also going to talk to the teachers, principals & counselors at the school. They can then talk to the child, when it is convenient for them, and get their own answers.
We have documentation of everything that has happened & continues to happen on a daily basis.
The one thing that we do, but we don't have is : We have people calling & telling us things, but they do not want to get involved per say. They will not go & talk to the CPS or law with us. They want to stay out of it. We are like "There is a child & children involved, how do you stay out of it?" They say they will continue to give us information, but will not say anything to any law enforcement or CPS. They said that they will deny anything that was said. It is against the law to tape record them without their knowledge & if you tell them, they clam up.
Why are people so afraid to help? These are kids for God's sake. They are not allowed to have a voice, so as adults it is our duty to have a voice for them.
Anyways, we thank you all for everything. We are going to take the advice given & do what we can. Pray for us.
been there

Summersville, WV

#17 Jan 23, 2013
Sounds like you have the best plan and are determined!In my case we too couldn't get anyone to step forward and give information to the CPS. I still told CPS what they said,I reported everything. You might see if they would be willing to talk to them by phone, if I'm not mistaken they can give a statment without using their name when it involves the protection of children. Also remember I have the name of someone in law enforcement that I was told that will help you directly with this. I'll find out later today if it is alright to put his name on here,ok.
Butch Brown

New Kensington, PA

#18 Jan 23, 2013
check in phone book for state and local chiild abuse hot lines and call them tehy answer 24 hours a day. Also go on line look for local child abuse hot lines numbers and also look up boys town on line and they will tell you too they will give you local numbers and so on to call just look up boys town Nebraska on line its a well known source and also they ahve people who will listen 24 hours a day and give good advice
4TheChildren

Charleston, WV

#19 Jan 23, 2013
Concerned,

I will indeed pray for you and your family. Children should be free of harm in any form and I applaud your efforts to see to their safety. It seemed incomprehensible to me to see a person suggest you practice illegal measures to assure the innocence of youth.

I'm glad to see you have a plan of action. I understand your frustration with persons of authority or those knowledgeable of such mistreatment that refuse to stand up for any child. If you were able to get a court appointed guardian ad litem and/or a private attorney, those very same persons could face a subpoena wherein the truth would have to be stated in a court of law or those persons would face criminal charges. Also if those persons with knowledge withhold the information, they can be held in contempt of court if they do not appear and testify truthfully and charges can be brought upon them for several illegal actions, i.e.; withholding evidence, perjury, etc.

Contacting the Charleston offices is one avenue, but I would still ask you to think about reporting the abuse complaint filed originally with your local CPS department to the National Hotline. Let them know that the local CPS Department failed to handle your case. This will ensure action is taken immediately.

I wish you the best of luck in defending the children involved. It sounds like you are certainly ready to put a fine tuned plan into action. You asked for prayers, consider it done. If you run into stumbling blocks or red tape, please let us know. I, for one, have many years under my belt of advocating for children in all walks of life. I'm always ready to lend a hand in protecting our children. "It takes a village..."

Best of luck.

Since: Jun 12

Location hidden

#20 Jan 23, 2013
Any one that abuses a child need to be killed.

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