Posted in the Richmond Forum
#1 Feb 25, 2012
What make a girl attractive to you?
#2 Feb 26, 2012
#3 Feb 26, 2012
I'd love to get together and I can tell u :) attractive guy here. Interested?
#4 Feb 26, 2012
When I was a younger man, I was pretty picky about looks: Generally attractive features and figure, good proportions, not too much extra weight, very appearance-centric.
When I got a little older, and sex was no longer my sole motivation and goal at every outing, personality played a bigger role, and physical standards - while still important to a degree - weren't as strict... And admittedly, at certain times and on certain outings, when sex was once more my only goal in an evening, I'd relax my physical standards to the extreme to get what I wanted in the short-term (something I'd not have been capable of when younger and pickier).
Eventually, I came up with a sort of Total Package Standard, where personality and intellect compensate for physical shortcomings to a point; a gal can be average or below average in appearance but make up for it in attitude and wit, as long as she's not completely fugly. The figure, however, must still be at least vaguely feminine; I can't get into a gal with a the figure of a tree stump, a sack of taters, or a beach ball, no matter how much personality she might have. She's gotta have teeth, can't be overly mannish, or have a complexion like a sausage pizza. But some pudge in and of itself isn't a deal-breaker, if she can at least carry on a decent conversation.
As for personality: Minimal drama - none of that trashy, ghetto, constantly fighting with other chicks or ex-bf/hubby/baby-daddy b.s., or she's a no-go. Don't mind a gal with a past, and fine with kids, but if she lives in the past, she's got no future. Some shred of brains and wit, sense of humor, honesty, adventurous, real. Similar morals and interests are a must.
And while a few drinks and some good times are okay by me, no time for alcoholics, no illegal drugs, no pills, or other similarly shady stuff... No exceptions on that.
That's about it.
#5 Feb 26, 2012
amazing. You said it perfectly. That's what I live by also
#6 Feb 26, 2012
A personal appearance can sometimes not be helped. There are a lit of female conditions that determine weight, acne, etc
#7 Feb 26, 2012
Very true. But barring some impairment of the senses, we are visual, tactile creatures, and men (and women) are governed to an extent by some very basic animal instincts.
Most applicable of those in this case is the mating/breeding instinct, and the things we are all pre-programmed to look for in a partner: Relatively good health (to guarantee the best chance of healthy child bearing), certain proportions in the breast and hip area (again, bears on child-rearing potential), and features that are aesthetically pleasing (to create offspring that will be socially successful and successful in their own breeding attempts).
A woman who is overly obese or afflicted with other aesthetic challenges will have to work extra hard to overcome first impressions and the instinctive negative responses they may trigger. People are more complex than animals, and thus we're capable of acting on influences other than our base instincts. It's not impossible for men to see past the physical... but realistically, it's going to be a rare thing, because of those old, pre-programmed responses.
There's also the influence of pop culture and the media to overcome, which has skewed the physical ideal toward overly skinny, sometimes outlandishly endowed people like the Hollywood types and covergirls that drive normal girls and women to hate themselves. I don't hold to such extremes, and do not expect women to meet them.
But it's not unreasonable for me or anyone else to expect a partner to at least equal my own level of health and appearance, and I can't say looks aren't everything. That's not me being an ass or anything, it's just the reality of things.
#8 Feb 26, 2012
Meant to say (last paragraph):
"But it's not unreasonable for me or anyone else to expect a partner to at least equal *their* own level of health and appearance, and **while looks AREN'T everything, I can't honestly say they count for nothing at all.**"
#9 Feb 29, 2012
I like a person who can carry themselves and are not ashamed or jealous of others
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