Married man whose divorce is not fina...
Voice of Reason

Chicago, IL

#41 Jun 3, 2013
You seem to have misread or misinterpreted my prior post. I did not judge you, much less all the women in Richmond, on anything. I merely cited general examples of the sorts of mistakes made by many of the young, foolish, and/or inexperienced in the onset of their quest to find some mythical, ideal romance.

At what point did I say that you, specifically, had made/were making any of those mistakes, or that all women in Richmond do so?

Could it be that you were confusing or combining my post with another, or did some of my points draw near a sensitive area? Could it be that your marriage began long ago, or that it eventually ended, in whole or in part, as a result of one or more of the common missteps I mentioned?

If so, do not take it personally, as we cannot undo the mistakes of our past; there is no need for defensiveness, shame or wounded pride. Face it, learn from it, see where things went wrong, where you may have rushed in or what you may have been missed or ignored way-back-when, and avoid repeating those error(s) in future endeavors.

Also, I would not mistake or tout your 20 years of marriage as experience or wisdom in "all things relationship," either. For all intents and purposes, it speaks to a lack of practical experience in matters of assessing potential partners, as you were until recently confined to just the one (and the fact that it has ended denotes an error of yours or a deficiency of his missed somewhere along the way).

Re-read my prior post and this one with more care and less defensiveness. You may find something of use.

If not, oh well.
Divorce wrote:
To Voice of reason, I have you to know I am not a needy desperate woman. Or a dog. I am a very loving and nice person. A great mother and friend. Your judgement about all Richmond woman is wrong. I was married over 20 years and I am confident and secure. I have just been out of the dating game for awhile. So your judgement is a little harsh. I know there is someone out there for me.
silly

United States

#42 Jun 4, 2013
For Real wrote:
<quoted text>I do not know if we are speaking of the same person or not. I do disagree with you though. In most circumstances, you would be correct. Marriages do not just crumble all of a sudden. I see your point. But in this case, here is the facts:

1. "He" was professing his love for his wife in March of this year ("he" is a close friend of my husbands and I heard it with my own ears,I've been in "their" home weekly, taken vacations with them, and "he" was at our home on almost a daily basis, trust me he gushed and bragged on her daily.)

2. "They" filed for divorce in mid March, and it WAS NOT because of another woman, it WAS all of a sudden an a shock to his wife. Now "He" has "girlfriend by the end of the March that he is "madly" in love with.

3. I just can't believe a person could be madly in live with their wife at the beginning of the month and madly in love with someone else at the end of the month.

4. To the Gayle: You said that you think you know of who I speak of and he has moved on and so should she. Trust me, "she" has no more use for the ex-husband to be anymore. Has she moved on? No, she is a normal person who is going to grieve over a marriage that ended as a person should, it is like a death. "She" doesn't want him back, or "she" would have taken him back when "he" begged her to take him back.

5. My advise to is the new girlfriend should speak to the ex-wife to be, of course "he" is going to tell you what he wants you to hear. I am sure "she" would tell you she has no interest in having him back. "Her" old troubles will be the new girlfriends troubles now.
Why is it any of your business or concern, when you said it yourself that this woman doesn't want her ex husband back?
He may have still had deep love for her, but the kind that is more out of that's because of a long life with her. He may not have wanted to hurt her, but realized he should give her her freedom because if that. As far as the other woman goes, did he know her for whole before their relationship started? He may have had strong feelings for her before their relationship started.
This man"s ex wife might have been in denial that her marriage was over. She might have been busy with kids or grand kids or a hobby and simply didn't see it. We get involved with things and neglect other things and not meaning to, miss the signs right in front of us. That's similar to what happened to me. After 27 years of marriage he came home and tells me he wants an open marriage.
True

Richmond, KY

#43 Jun 4, 2013
Voice of Reason wrote:
<quoted text>
There will never be a Mr. Right. He is a myth. Those who claim otherwise are either romanticizing their situation, or they are so eager to please that they mold themselves to a man to fit as perfectly as they can, sacrificing all personal identity and individuality.
The truth of it is that we must find someone whose merits and joys outweigh their faults and accept them for all of it, and who is willing to do the same for us. Perfection is unrealistic and foolish to expect, dispite what the books and movies would have you believe.
It will not occur through some quest or hunt for it, not naturally and not lastingly. It will occur in your everyday life, once you have your life together, once you can enjoy life on your own and without another person to define you. Once that has been achieved, you will most likely stumble across a good man by doing what you normally enjoy doing, living your life, and then encountering someone who's doing the same. This ensures at least one thing in common to start with.
It then falls on you to be wary, to do yoir homework, to be patient and not rush in, and to make sure he is who he appears to be. If he can't handle that, he's not for you. Failure to do so will find you in the same boat you're in now, again and again.
True
True

Richmond, KY

#44 Jun 4, 2013
Voice of Reason wrote:
You seem to have misread or misinterpreted my prior post. I did not judge you, much less all the women in Richmond, on anything. I merely cited general examples of the sorts of mistakes made by many of the young, foolish, and/or inexperienced in the onset of their quest to find some mythical, ideal romance.
At what point did I say that you, specifically, had made/were making any of those mistakes, or that all women in Richmond do so?
Could it be that you were confusing or combining my post with another, or did some of my points draw near a sensitive area? Could it be that your marriage began long ago, or that it eventually ended, in whole or in part, as a result of one or more of the common missteps I mentioned?
If so, do not take it personally, as we cannot undo the mistakes of our past; there is no need for defensiveness, shame or wounded pride. Face it, learn from it, see where things went wrong, where you may have rushed in or what you may have been missed or ignored way-back-when, and avoid repeating those error(s) in future endeavors.
Also, I would not mistake or tout your 20 years of marriage as experience or wisdom in "all things relationship," either. For all intents and purposes, it speaks to a lack of practical experience in matters of assessing potential partners, as you were until recently confined to just the one (and the fact that it has ended denotes an error of yours or a deficiency of his missed somewhere along the way).
Re-read my prior post and this one with more care and less defensiveness. You may find something of use.
If not, oh well.
<quoted text>
You are wasting your time telling these simpletons anything. They want to believe that there is a man out there that loves them, will be true to them, will do the right thing and remain true. There maybe one or two but they won't find them. They live in a dream world and only after years of mental and or physical abuse do they wake up and realize what an idiot they have been.

Love yourself and realize you can be happy without being a doormat to a man because I can assure you that for most that is all you are. By the way statistics on fidelity and long term relationships back that up.
yes

United States

#45 Jun 4, 2013
Ehh just shut up and spread those legs for me!
True

Richmond, KY

#46 Jun 4, 2013
yes wrote:
Ehh just shut up and spread those legs for me!
See what I mean.
Sharon Jean

United States

#47 Jun 4, 2013
What do you think wrote:
What do you think about a married man whose divorce is not final telling everyone he has a new girlfriend and says publicly he is in a relationship with this new person . Last time I checked, girlfriend is not the term one uses to describe the relationship between a married man and a woman other than his wife.
Word of advise to a woman who thinks she is so
special, how the heck can a man pursue another

relationship a couple of weeks after leaving a
marriage that lasted for many years?

What u need 2 do is put on ur big gurl thongs &
go get u a younger hotter guy u will b over him in a few days !!!!!!!! The x will b pissed & jealous
when he sees u hav moved on that's the best

Think about it, if he can profess his love to his current wife at the beginning of the month and be telling you he loves you at the end of the month, I will bet ya he will do the same thing to you in the future. Ever heard of narcissism?
So what u need put on ur big gurl thongs & go get ur self a younger hotttt guy!!!
inquiring mind

Georgetown, KY

#49 Jun 5, 2013
I wonder if this is about Rusty Williams and Karen Spires Wilhoit
Nope

Lexington, KY

#50 Jun 7, 2013
Nope. It is not.
inquiring mind wrote:
I wonder if this is about Rusty Williams and Karen Spires Wilhoit
Think I know too

Chicago, IL

#51 Jun 14, 2013
When this happened I was shocked , becz I too believed he loved her dearly , but it goes to show you let someone come along and tempt a married man and it sometimes ends this way . The food thing is she is a great person and can find a man that will love her .. And then hen her x sees tht he made a mistake it will be to late ..
doobie doobie doo

Georgetown, KY

#52 Jun 14, 2013
Jon and Jamie?
i no

Richmond, KY

#53 Jun 14, 2013
Sue and frank?
SoundsLike

Lexington, KY

#54 Jun 15, 2013
What do you think wrote:
What do you think about a married man whose divorce is not final telling everyone he has a new girlfriend and says publicly he is in a relationship with this new person . Last time I checked, girlfriend is not the term one uses to describe the relationship between a married man and a woman other than his wife.
Word of advise to a woman who thinks she is so special, how the heck can a man pursue another relationship a couple of weeks after leaving a marriage that lasted for many years?
Think about it, if he can profess his love to his current wife at the beginning of the month and be telling you he loves you at the end of the month, I will bet ya he will do the same thing to you in the future. Ever heard of narcissism?
Well.... it can get worse. Mine had a "girlfriend" for several months while we were married. At least he isn't sleeping with you and her. She was calling my house asking for him as a Nextel representative. People like that... him and her are a waste of your time. You dont need him because they never change. In one way or another he will always be a liar and cheat. Move on for your own sanity... God will see you through. Funny thing is my children see him as the good one while I sat here crying win them. Dont make your life miserable because in the end that man will still smell like a rose. Most people will be trying to figure out why you are the way you are and never care about how much hurt you go through. Men are not worth a nervous breakdown... premature gray... grinding teeth .. or messing your bodies up to have a family with. In the end.... they feel they got cheated. Its about the sex.... let him go he isn't worth it.
lol

United States

#55 Jun 15, 2013
SoundsLike wrote:
<quoted text>Well.... it can get worse. Mine had a "girlfriend" for several months while we were married. At least he isn't sleeping with you and her. She was calling my house asking for him as a Nextel representative. People like that... him and her are a waste of your time. You dont need him because they never change. In one way or another he will always be a liar and cheat. Move on for your own sanity... God will see you through. Funny thing is my children see him as the good one while I sat here crying win them. Dont make your life miserable because in the end that man will still smell like a rose. Most people will be trying to figure out why you are the way you are and never care about how much hurt you go through. Men are not worth a nervous breakdown... premature gray... grinding teeth .. or messing your bodies up to have a family with. In the end.... they feel they got cheated. Its about the sex.... let him go he isn't worth it.
Heck yea. That's all that matters is having some fun and sex. Just quit snooping and keep your nose to yourself and you will go on living as a happy family
SoundsLike

Lexington, KY

#56 Jun 15, 2013
lol wrote:
<quoted text>
Heck yea. That's all that matters is having some fun and sex. Just quit snooping and keep your nose to yourself and you will go on living as a happy family
Yeah true.... just rid the jerk/jerks and move on LOL... because someday you just might get laughed at! Stupidity truly runs in the gene pool BTW... my nose so screw you!
ILikeGrandmas

Lexington, KY

#57 Jun 15, 2013
lol wrote:
<quoted text>
Heck yea. That's all that matters is having some fun and sex. Just quit snooping and keep your nose to yourself and you will go on living as a happy family
Make it past 8th grade huh?
beenthere

United States

#58 Jun 15, 2013
Sharon Jean wrote:
<quoted text>
So what u need put on ur big gurl thongs & go get ur self a younger hotttt guy!!!
Oh tit for tat you say.
When I. Divorced I. Made it a goal to sleep with all my ex's friends And succeeded.
Now she has no friends.
well

Nicholasville, KY

#59 Jun 16, 2013
beenthere wrote:
<quoted text>
Oh tit for tat you say.
When I. Divorced I. Made it a goal to sleep with all my ex's friends And succeeded.
Now she has no friends.
I'm sure she has met new people and has plenty friends... your a joke.
Abc

Tucker, GA

#60 Jun 17, 2013
Sad
Mary

Nigeria

#61 Jun 17, 2013
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