Is family Important?
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XxCathyxX

Richmond, KY

#1 Jan 20, 2012
My sister and I have been fighting for sometime now. I have two sons that she use to see all the time and now I don't let her see them. She just upset me telling me how to be a mother and trying to control my life. I know she is my sister but It just got on my nerves. I kind of did the same to her I suppose. She is telling me that I am teaching my sons that family is not important because I won't let her see them nor will I even speak to her. I don't think this is true. My sons see there grand parents and my friends. I really don't have much family. My brother died in the army. I don't know do you think she could be right? I just get so pissed at how she lives her life and then when she tells me shit. I don't know should I forgive her? I need some help on this. Family is who you make it right?
FoRgEtFuL_LoVeR

Richmond, KY

#2 Jan 20, 2012
I think you forgot that Familys are there to tell you what they think. They should be able to be open and honest with you even though you don't want to hear it or disagree. Family's fight, but your blood and you yourself have to learn to accept that they are different then you and they do live there life differently. Your sister may have seen something you didn't or just was trying to help. You should have had a conversation with her and you still can. Talk it out. Family is and will always be there for you no matter what. You should have been taught that and if you weren't then learn it.

“Fighting Cancer”

Since: Aug 10

Location hidden

#3 Jan 20, 2012
Does your sister have children? Is she older or younger than you?
Family is Family

United States

#4 Jan 21, 2012
Love em and leave em alone. Don't get caught up in their drama. Stay out of their lives. The problem with families they yap to much. Daughters and mothers are very dangerous. They hold to many secrets. I have sisters only, I stay out of their business and do not let them in mine. You are still an individual. You can't trust them. Yes they are important, they teach you all the things you don't want to be!!
XxCathyxX

Richmond, KY

#5 Jan 21, 2012
My sister is older. She doisn't have kids onher own but she has raised some.
well

Bowling Green, KY

#6 Jan 21, 2012
Family is overrated.
sarah

Nicholasville, KY

#7 Jan 21, 2012
I learned along time ago to just not say anything back to them,just keep doing what you are doing and just listen to your sister its not worth fighting over.I found for me just listening and saying ok work's best.To much stress fighting over nothing.
Cloverbqaby

Macon, GA

#8 Jan 23, 2012
Family is important and you should always listen even if you don't agree. You can't tell the other one how to live here life and not expect it back. She is your sister and in the end probably always had your best intrest in mind. Your not right to keep them from the kids because that does hurt them. They won't understand and what happens ifyour two kids end up like that that. How would you feel. You never ever put family in the middle and you get over things. If you can't see a shrink. You should have learned your not perfect either. Don't ever let anyone cOme between your family and never turn your back on them. Get over it and grow up.
Dunno

Macon, GA

#9 Jan 24, 2012
Me and my family fight but make up. I can't judge them because my relationships are not perfect. Once you learn to accept them for who they are and not who you want them to be you will be happier. No family is a tv family. Forgive your sister and it starts with one call. No apology should be needed.
Cameron

Richmond, KY

#10 Jan 24, 2012
Me and my bro get into it. Even get physical but in the end we make up. It makes family and holidays a real problem for our parents when we don't work it out. But he will always have my back
Mommie

Richmond, KY

#11 Jan 24, 2012
Bless you all. So young. Family should be important always. You should instill that in your children as well as yourself. They only nag because they think you deserve better and you should know that they want happiness true happiness for you. God bless
Sigh

Greenup, KY

#12 Jan 24, 2012
Mommie wrote:
Bless you all. So young. Family should be important always. You should instill that in your children as well as yourself. They only nag because they think you deserve better and you should know that they want happiness true happiness for you. God bless
Or because they never really liked you, and especially never liked your wife. One or the other.
Dr Phil advice

Richmond, KY

#13 Jan 24, 2012
If you're in the middle of a family feud " whether it involves money or not " ask yourself: Is it worth losing a loved one over?

Choose to forgive. Holding onto a grudge will only eat you up inside and cause huge family rifts. The only thing worse than not speaking to a family member for three years is not speaking to them for three years and one day.

Sometimes relationships need a hero. That means someone has to step up and be the bigger person to close the gap. Someone has to make the first move, the first compromise, to heal the relationship. Swallow your pride and be that person. Think about what the future holds if you do not mend this.

Think of how this feud is affecting the rest of the family. Are there other family members or children caught in the middle? Think of the unnecessary stress you may be putting on others. Dr. Phil tells two feuding siblings to consider their 84-year-old mother. "Let me tell you something. At 84 years old, she deserves the peace of knowing that her family is unified and intact," he says.

No matter how flat you make a pancake, it still has two sides. Step into the other person's shoes and try to see their side of the story. Try to understand the other person and why they acted in a hurtful way. Try not to judge them. Conversely, examine your role in the feud. Did you do or saying something hurtful? Did you promise something and then back out of your agreement? Keep in mind the other person probably has some valid points that you need to weigh and consider.

Ask yourself, if your family member died suddenly, what would be left unsaid? In a perfect world, if you could write the script of your life, what would your relationship with that person be like? Start creating that relationship now.

Reach out to your family member and ask them to talk to you. Start with an apology for whatever part you may have played in the feud. Take responsibility for your actions. Explain why this relationship is important to you and affirm your love for the other person.

Dig further into what may have caused this rift. If it's about money, ask yourself if that is the real issue. Examine your feelings about the person you're fighting with and get to the bottom of when it all began.

Consider hiring a financial expert if you and a loved one are at odds over finances. If you can't see eye to eye, perhaps a third party can help come up with a plan that will lead to a solution.

Create some boundaries where you can begin to heal the relationship, but you're not allowed to bring up the source of the feud. Take 90 days to focus on reconnecting, and rebuilding the relationship. If you're siblings, just be siblings for 90 days and keep the subject of the feud off the table. After 90 days, examine the issue. You'll have found some middle ground and the value of the relationship will be more important by then.
Well

Richmond, KY

#14 Jan 24, 2012
Family's fight but you have to compromise because they may not like your family either
Drphil

Richmond, KY

#15 Jan 24, 2012
If you're in the middle of a family feud " whether it involves money or not " ask yourself: Is it worth losing a loved one over?

Choose to forgive. Holding onto a grudge will only eat you up inside and cause huge family rifts. The only thing worse than not speaking to a family member for three years is not speaking to them for three years and one day.

Sometimes relationships need a hero. That means someone has to step up and be the bigger person to close the gap. Someone has to make the first move, the first compromise, to heal the relationship. Swallow your pride and be that person. Think about what the future holds if you do not mend this.

Think of how this feud is affecting the rest of the family. Are there other family members or children caught in the middle? Think of the unnecessary stress you may be putting on others. Dr. Phil tells two feuding siblings to consider their 84-year-old mother. "Let me tell you something. At 84 years old, she deserves the peace of knowing that her family is unified and intact," he says.

No matter how flat you make a pancake, it still has two sides. Step into the other person's shoes and try to see their side of the story. Try to understand the other person and why they acted in a hurtful way. Try not to judge them. Conversely, examine your role in the feud. Did you do or saying something hurtful? Did you promise something and then back out of your agreement? Keep in mind the other person probably has some valid points that you need to weigh and consider.

Ask yourself, if your family member died suddenly, what would be left unsaid? In a perfect world, if you could write the script of your life, what would your relationship with that person be like? Start creating that relationship now.

Reach out to your family member and ask them to talk to you. Start with an apology for whatever part you may have played in the feud. Take responsibility for your actions. Explain why this relationship is important to you and affirm your love for the other person.

Dig further into what may have caused this rift. If it's about money, ask yourself if that is the real issue. Examine your feelings about the person you're fighting with and get to the bottom of when it all began.

Create some boundaries where you can begin to heal the relationship, but you're not allowed to bring up the source of the feud. Take 90 days to focus on reconnecting, and rebuilding the relationship. If you're siblings, just be siblings for 90 days and keep the subject of the feud off the table. After 90 days, examine the issue. You'll have found some middle ground and the value of the relationship will be more important by then.
Teenmom

Richmond, KY

#16 Jan 24, 2012
My sister and I fought over stupid stuff. Well at the time I felt it was dumb but my bf was hooked on drugs and I just didn't want to deal with it. We didn't talk for 14 months and then I realized you don't have to stay with someone because you had a baby. I deserved to be happy and my sister was there for me when I saw it/ if you let anyone tell you what to do, friends boyfriends then you must not be able to think foe yourself. My sister helped me get into college and take care of my kid. She was harsh but she just wanted me to do better and my baby to be safe. I love her to death thanks sis!!!!
MORE

Belton, TX

#17 Jan 24, 2012
dump sis
Taxi101

Richmond, KY

#18 Jan 25, 2012
Grow up
Robotlove

Herndon, VA

#19 Jan 25, 2012
Why would you not get over it or at least be civil fir the children
XxCathyxX

United States

#20 Jan 29, 2012
Well I tend to hold grudges and I just don't know. I have a lot of people on differen sides telling me what to do. I just want to make everyone happy.

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