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need help

Oswego, IL

#1 May 10, 2012
I have an amazing bf. at first I
Couldn't trust him for many reasons. Anyone have any opinions on how I can have more trust in him...
He has proved himself and deserves it now. But I can't seem
To move past it??!!!!
familiar

Winchester, KY

#2 May 10, 2012
need help wrote:
I have an amazing bf. at first I
Couldn't trust him for many reasons. Anyone have any opinions on how I can have more trust in him...
He has proved himself and deserves it now. But I can't seem
To move past it??!!!!
i am I the same situation. The problem is no matter what the damage is never undone. You drive yourself crazy always thinking they are doing something. You will never fully trust the person again. I'm living a lie right now pretending everything is ok but it's not.
Everyday I want to run away but I can't. I never believe a word he says therefore when he talks I don't listen anymore. Once trust is broken its never fixed, from then on its just u and your thoughts driving u nuts.
need help

Oswego, IL

#3 May 10, 2012
familiar wrote:
<quoted text>i am I the same situation. The problem is no matter what the damage is never undone. You drive yourself crazy always thinking they are doing something. You will never fully trust the person again. I'm living a lie right now pretending everything is ok but it's not.
Everyday I want to run away but I can't. I never believe a word he says therefore when he talks I don't listen anymore. Once trust is broken its never fixed, from then on its just u and your thoughts driving u nuts.
that's exactly how I feel. Like its all a lie. Nothing ever changes and turns out good. I feel like I'm always being lied to or taken advantage of. Idk what to do anymore.
Honestly

United States

#4 May 10, 2012
I think we've all been in a similar situation. It is hard to trust again. I guess it all depends on why you distrust him. Cheating is a very hard thing to deal with in a relationship and is very hard to over come. Within my relationship it was based on lies and cheating. I have chosen to come back but things don't feel the same because I have that doubt about him in my heart. We've been together for years and I told myself that's why I came back, because I had so many years invested and I love him. But I feel like if you can't trust them then you don't need them. You need to forgive and forget or just move on with your life. You have to love yourself first.
this is easy

Richmond, KY

#5 May 10, 2012
First, all men cheat unless they are ugly as shit or never have the opportunity.

Second, it's part of life. Some people choose to dwell on it, some choose to have their own fun, and some just put it past them. If you focus on it non-stop you're never going to have peace.

Women really need to get their own damn lives. Don't live for a man and be so wrapped up in them. If you do things you enjoy and make yourself happy that's all that matters. Too many women are too devoted to a man. They're not that devoted to you.
need help

Clay City, KY

#6 May 10, 2012
Honestly wrote:
I think we've all been in a similar situation. It is hard to trust again. I guess it all depends on why you distrust him. Cheating is a very hard thing to deal with in a relationship and is very hard to over come. Within my relationship it was based on lies and cheating. I have chosen to come back but things don't feel the same because I have that doubt about him in my heart. We've been together for years and I told myself that's why I came back, because I had so many years invested and I love him. But I feel like if you can't trust them then you don't need them. You need to forgive and forget or just move on with your life. You have to love yourself first.
thanks. I need to love myself first. I've heard it before. But now I understand.
familiar

Winchester, KY

#7 May 10, 2012
this is easy wrote:
First, all men cheat unless they are ugly as shit or never have the opportunity.

Second, it's part of life. Some people choose to dwell on it, some choose to have their own fun, and some just put it past them. If you focus on it non-stop you're never going to have peace.

Women really need to get their own damn lives. Don't live for a man and be so wrapped up in them. If you do things you enjoy and make yourself happy that's all that matters. Too many women are too devoted to a man. They're not that devoted to you.
well no not all good looking men cheat. I have a very good looking man that does not cheat, but did have a drug problem which is what caused the matter of distrust.
this is easy

Richmond, KY

#8 May 10, 2012
Sweetie, the smart ones don't get caught. I've known many of them.
wtfever

Clay City, KY

#9 May 10, 2012
this is easy wrote:
Sweetie, the smart ones don't get caught. I've known many of them.
Actuall you don't know all of them. Only pigs cheat and you must be the sow they cheat with. Real men never cheat only pigs.
familiar

Winchester, KY

#10 May 10, 2012
this is easy wrote:
Sweetie, the smart ones don't get caught. I've known many of them.
that's funny honey. U must not know mine because I paid 500 for a lie detector test. Guess what he wasn't cheating. Just drugs. Not all men are cheating pigs, just pigs in general.
John Doe

Wagoner, OK

#11 May 11, 2012
Ladies I'll be the first to admit us men in general, are pigs. 90% of us will lie, cheat and do drugs. But not ALL of us. I do not do any of the above. If I wanted to live the single life, I'd be single. I know it's not fair to say, but you ladies need to be more careful about who you choose. Looks are not everything. If they work every day and are home every night, chances are he's a good guy and you can trust him. If he won't hold a job, is always broke, and is always out, he's up to no good. Take it from a man, this is the truth, straight up.
Man

United States

#12 May 11, 2012
As a man, I know man, and if some of you women would quit harassing us about cheating and trust we would not give you reasons to think we are cheating or doing things that make you not trust us. If you love your man, then give him everything he wants and maybe he would not go elsewhere to get it. If he is a druggie then well maybe you should just leave his ass cause everything is going to come crashing down eventually and believe me it will happen I have been there and am now clean for 3 yrs. Cause of my problem my wife does not trust me anymore and it is giving us a major problem and she does not see it coming. I love her and I know she loves me but trust issues can ruin love, I just hope she notices before it is too late and the same thing goes too all of you. If you love him then get off the high horse and make him feel loved, instead of what you want do what he wants for a change, men are pigs if they do not get what they want, do not push us to the pig pen. We will join cause for some reason women love the pigs.
John Doe

Wagoner, OK

#13 May 11, 2012
Man wrote:
As a man, I know man, and if some of you women would quit harassing us about cheating and trust we would not give you reasons to think we are cheating or doing things that make you not trust us. If you love your man, then give him everything he wants and maybe he would not go elsewhere to get it. If he is a druggie then well maybe you should just leave his ass cause everything is going to come crashing down eventually and believe me it will happen I have been there and am now clean for 3 yrs. Cause of my problem my wife does not trust me anymore and it is giving us a major problem and she does not see it coming. I love her and I know she loves me but trust issues can ruin love, I just hope she notices before it is too late and the same thing goes too all of you. If you love him then get off the high horse and make him feel loved, instead of what you want do what he wants for a change, men are pigs if they do not get what they want, do not push us to the pig pen. We will join cause for some reason women love the pigs.
I have to agree with this post as well. Sometimes we can't please our women no matter how hard we try.
Man

United States

#14 May 11, 2012
Women are a difficult breed, I agree that is why I love them and my wife inpacticular. But my above posts just basically states that sometimes you want to much from us. So here is some basic info on us men:
1. If he cheated, and you the woman are giving him everything at home that he wants, then he is a all the time pig and will not stop cheating cause he is a all time pig. Some of us men are. If you are not giving him what he wants at home and he cheated then sorry to say we have needs and the hand does not always do it for us.
2. If he is on drugs and you are not then simply give him a wake up call. Either tell him you are leaving or leave him and if he quits then try to work things out if he does not then get the hell out unless you want to go down with the sinking ship. Trust me it is bad, but it can be done cold turkey if they want to, if they do not want to then cut losses and get out.
3. If you are on drugs with him then shut up and quit bitching you are a hyprocrit.
4. Any other trust issues, talk it out, if he does not listen or you can not talk to him, there is bigger problems that you are blind too. One of the above is happening.
Now I wish you the best with your future endevors and enjoy life. I know I have for the last few years and though me and my wife are still working on our trust issues. But I admit they are my fault and I brought them on.
need help

Glenview, IL

#15 May 11, 2012
Man wrote:
Women are a difficult breed, I agree that is why I love them and my wife inpacticular. But my above posts just basically states that sometimes you want to much from us. So here is some basic info on us men:
1. If he cheated, and you the woman are giving him everything at home that he wants, then he is a all the time pig and will not stop cheating cause he is a all time pig. Some of us men are. If you are not giving him what he wants at home and he cheated then sorry to say we have needs and the hand does not always do it for us.
2. If he is on drugs and you are not then simply give him a wake up call. Either tell him you are leaving or leave him and if he quits then try to work things out if he does not then get the hell out unless you want to go down with the sinking ship. Trust me it is bad, but it can be done cold turkey if they want to, if they do not want to then cut losses and get out.
3. If you are on drugs with him then shut up and quit bitching you are a hyprocrit.
4. Any other trust issues, talk it out, if he does not listen or you can not talk to him, there is bigger problems that you are blind too. One of the above is happening.
Now I wish you the best with your future endevors and enjoy life. I know I have for the last few years and though me and my wife are still working on our trust issues. But I admit they are my fault and I brought them on.
thanks for your advice. After this I realize it's on me now. He has proved himself and admitted what he done was wrong. Now I need to give him the true he deserves. Your post really helped. Thanks.(:
man

Richmond, KY

#16 May 11, 2012
all men are pigs no matter what you do for them!
man

Richmond, KY

#17 May 11, 2012
Man wrote:
As a man, I know man, and if some of you women would quit harassing us about cheating and trust we would not give you reasons to think we are cheating or doing things that make you not trust us. If you love your man, then give him everything he wants and maybe he would not go elsewhere to get it. If he is a druggie then well maybe you should just leave his ass cause everything is going to come crashing down eventually and believe me it will happen I have been there and am now clean for 3 yrs. Cause of my problem my wife does not trust me anymore and it is giving us a major problem and she does not see it coming. I love her and I know she loves me but trust issues can ruin love, I just hope she notices before it is too late and the same thing goes too all of you. If you love him then get off the high horse and make him feel loved, instead of what you want do what he wants for a change, men are pigs if they do not get what they want, do not push us to the pig pen. We will join cause for some reason women love the pigs.
just so you all know this is coming from the same man who posted a thread "what is up with married women" about getting ready to step out on his wife!
simp man

Middleville, NJ

#18 May 12, 2012
a man is like a child we see a new toy if we want to play with it we will if not we wont. But we have some self control lol. Pends on what the toy LOOKS LIKE
man

Richmond, KY

#19 May 12, 2012
man wrote:
<quoted text>
just so you all know this is coming from the same man who posted a thread "what is up with married women" about getting ready to step out on his wife!
The thread you ae talking about was started by someone named courious, not by me I just posted a comment on it, why the reply's showed up.
nope

Lexington, KY

#20 May 12, 2012
nope

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