Need SERIOUS Advice..!!!

Posted in the Richlands Forum

Since: Dec 12

Location hidden

#1 Dec 16, 2012
I need some serious advice on a topic that has haunted me for a long time. Here is my question: How do I tell my parents that I do not believe in their religion?

I grew up in a strong christian family and believed in christian things all through my childhood and most of my teens, mostly because it was all I knew...that, and fear of going to "hell". Anyway, I started to question things about the religion..and ALL religions later on in my teens. I got scared of the fact that I was losing my faith, so I decided to do what I had never done before as a Christian...I read the Bible, cover to cover. It wasn't until then that I really came to the realization that this thing that I had been taught all through my childhood, that the Bible is the book that we should live our live by, was ridiculous and very immoral, and pretty sickening at times. Then I finally was able to break free from burden of believing in God. Life and been so much better and easier to cope with ever since. Everything makes sense now. Anyway, I am getting off track.....

Here is my problem. I LOVE my parents and I do not want to hurt their feelings and I CERTAINLY don't want them to disown me..I honestly don't know what they will do:( I have basically been faking it when ever I am around them. Sometime I have to go to church with them and I just have to fake like I am actually in to it. Actually, not many people actually know my secret..except for my girlfriend, who shares the same ideals as me, except she was never raised as a Christian and never had to deal with explaining to people that you love that you do not believe in their God. Part of me feels like I should just fake it in front of my parents the rest of my life, so I don't have to hurt their feelings of thinking their son is going to Hell. I know I could get away with doing that...but I know there will be problems when I have children of my own and my parents are talking crazy Jesus stuff to my kid...meanwhile I don't want my kids to go though the same brainwashing that I had too. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. It sucks.

Is there anyone else going through these same feelings? How did you do it? It is best to just live a lie with your parents instead of telling the truth, knowing that they will be happier with the lie?

Please Help!
understand

Castlewood, VA

#2 Dec 16, 2012
I understand what you are going through. And there will be a LOT of negative comments but don't worry about them. I do believe in an infinite being but not what the Christian faith makes it. I tried to speak to my grandmother recently about some of the things I believe in and she wants me to come to her house so she can 'point out in the bible' how I'm so wrong so that she can save me before it's too late. I will keep my beliefs to myself for the most part because I know it does cause much worry for my soul and everlasting life. I believe in reincarnation and soul growth though many lives and experiences. But I don't try to push my beliefs on anyone else and I don't want other's beliefs pushed on me. IF I am wrong, I will be the one to pay for what I believe in. I wish you luck. Stay strong in whatever it is you believe in. We are ALL entitled to free will and have the right to our own opinions.

Since: Dec 12

Location hidden

#3 Dec 16, 2012
understand wrote:
I understand what you are going through. And there will be a LOT of negative comments but don't worry about them. I do believe in an infinite being but not what the Christian faith makes it. I tried to speak to my grandmother recently about some of the things I believe in and she wants me to come to her house so she can 'point out in the bible' how I'm so wrong so that she can save me before it's too late. I will keep my beliefs to myself for the most part because I know it does cause much worry for my soul and everlasting life. I believe in reincarnation and soul growth though many lives and experiences. But I don't try to push my beliefs on anyone else and I don't want other's beliefs pushed on me. IF I am wrong, I will be the one to pay for what I believe in. I wish you luck. Stay strong in whatever it is you believe in. We are ALL entitled to free will and have the right to our own opinions.
Thanks, I know what you mean about your grandmother trying to "scare" you into following the bible. In her mind, she is just trying to help...but little does she know she is actually not helping you in any way. I try to stay away from those situations because most of the time it just makes me resent that person. I also really don't like when Christians try to lecture me on the Bible, like I haven't read and studied it...probably more thorough than most.....I usually just make that person eat their own words and sound like an idiot lol..but whatever:)

Personally, I don't believe in anything supernatural. No Gods, no afterlife, no anything. For me, that just makes the most sense. I'm just glad to know there are other people in this area dominated by Christianity that are like me.
understand

Castlewood, VA

#4 Dec 16, 2012
Ya I can talk to my husband about what I believe. But I don't get open about it to other people because I don't need to be saved or converted and would rather steer clear of those situations. Everyone has the right to live their life the way they want...as long as they aren't hurting others in the process.
Bible Geek

Richlands, VA

#5 Dec 17, 2012
Happyman00 wrote:
I need some serious advice on a topic that has haunted me for a long time. Here is my question: How do I tell my parents that I do not believe in their religion?
I grew up in a strong christian family and believed in christian things all through my childhood and most of my teens, mostly because it was all I knew...that, and fear of going to "hell". Anyway, I started to question things about the religion..and ALL religions later on in my teens. I got scared of the fact that I was losing my faith, so I decided to do what I had never done before as a Christian...I read the Bible, cover to cover. It wasn't until then that I really came to the realization that this thing that I had been taught all through my childhood, that the Bible is the book that we should live our live by, was ridiculous and very immoral, and pretty sickening at times. Then I finally was able to break free from burden of believing in God. Life and been so much better and easier to cope with ever since. Everything makes sense now. Anyway, I am getting off track.....
Here is my problem. I LOVE my parents and I do not want to hurt their feelings and I CERTAINLY don't want them to disown me..I honestly don't know what they will do:( I have basically been faking it when ever I am around them. Sometime I have to go to church with them and I just have to fake like I am actually in to it. Actually, not many people actually know my secret..except for my girlfriend, who shares the same ideals as me, except she was never raised as a Christian and never had to deal with explaining to people that you love that you do not believe in their God. Part of me feels like I should just fake it in front of my parents the rest of my life, so I don't have to hurt their feelings of thinking their son is going to Hell. I know I could get away with doing that...but I know there will be problems when I have children of my own and my parents are talking crazy Jesus stuff to my kid...meanwhile I don't want my kids to go though the same brainwashing that I had too. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. It sucks.
Is there anyone else going through these same feelings? How did you do it? It is best to just live a lie with your parents instead of telling the truth, knowing that they will be happier with the lie?
Please Help!
Well in Romans 14:5 says One man esteemeth one day above another: another esteemeth every day alike. Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind. So if your mom and dad believe is GOD and are trying to serve him, and believe in the bible, then they are going to haft to stick with what they believe in right..? Or is it that they are trying to force upon you their beliefs? I would show them Romans 14:5, and leave it alone. And tell your mom and dad that I love them no matter what.. See things are not as hard as to what some people make them out to me.
cunune

Pittsburgh, PA

#6 Dec 17, 2012
youtube.com/watch ... Cant see why your worrying about?

Since: Dec 12

Location hidden

#7 Dec 17, 2012
Bible Geek wrote:
<quoted text>Well in Romans 14:5 says One man esteemeth one day above another: another esteemeth every day alike. Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind. So if your mom and dad believe is GOD and are trying to serve him, and believe in the bible, then they are going to haft to stick with what they believe in right..? Or is it that they are trying to force upon you their beliefs? I would show them Romans 14:5, and leave it alone. And tell your mom and dad that I love them no matter what.. See things are not as hard as to what some people make them out to me.
Not as hard as you think it is? If a parent was so proud of their son all of his life, and thinks that his son is living for God and they pray together. Then the parent finds out that his son has been faking it and really doesn't believe in any of that, and thinks that the whole thing is just silly. Not to mention the parent would have to think that his son that he loves is going to go to "hell". It would completely destroy my father if he I told him, but I know he will find out eventually. It is not as easy as just telling him about it. It is a very hard situation to have to deal with. I just wanted to know if anyone else is going or has gone through this, and how they handled it.
wow

North Tazewell, VA

#8 Dec 18, 2012
I mean that there is nothing wrong with not believing in what they believe in. You are your own person, they love you and they will understand im for sure with that.
Bet You

Lebanon, VA

#9 Dec 18, 2012
won't be singing this tune when you lift up your eyes in the fiery Hell you seem destined for. that's your choice so go for it. forget about telling your parents, no need to cause them grief too.

“ROCK ON ROCKERS!!”

Since: Mar 11

Rockin' USA ;)

#10 Dec 23, 2012
Just be up close and personal with them..If they respect you as an individual ..they wu honor your beliefs. If not, they are then simply CONTROL FREAKS... then WHAT Does that say about their religious beliefs??
Try this

Grundy, VA

#11 Dec 26, 2012
You may not share the same beliefs as your parents but that doesn't mean you can't be respectful around them in how they believe. For example, bowing your head at their dinner table doesn't necessarily mean that you believe in God but rather you are respectful to your parents. They are free to interpret this however they choose and you can save yourself a lot of family turmoil. Going to church on Mothers day and sitting beside your mother honors her in the most respectful way but doesn't necessarily mean you share her beliefs. It's all about how you approach the issue. If you don't believe in anything then you don't have to prove anything, one day mom and dad will be gone from your life way too soon and you will take comfort in knowing that your time with them was a joyful time. You also take comfort in moms bible not for what's written inside but because you possess something that was near and dear to her and brought peace and comfort throughout her life. How you believe is your choice and you'rs alone but that doesn't mean everything has to be in black and white. Change how you look at and approach this issue and I'm sure you will find its not as difficult as it appears. If all this fails then remember that a parents love is unconditional. If they truly love you then you still come out on top regardless of your beliefs.
mee

Richlands, VA

#12 Dec 27, 2012
Happyman00 wrote:
I need some serious advice on a topic that has haunted me for a long time. Here is my question: How do I tell my parents that I do not believe in their religion?
I grew up in a strong christian family and believed in christian things all through my childhood and most of my teens, mostly because it was all I knew...that, and fear of going to "hell". Anyway, I started to question things about the religion..and ALL religions later on in my teens. I got scared of the fact that I was losing my faith, so I decided to do what I had never done before as a Christian...I read the Bible, cover to cover. It wasn't until then that I really came to the realization that this thing that I had been taught all through my childhood, that the Bible is the book that we should live our live by, was ridiculous and very immoral, and pretty sickening at times. Then I finally was able to break free from burden of believing in God. Life and been so much better and easier to cope with ever since. Everything makes sense now. Anyway, I am getting off track.....
Here is my problem. I LOVE my parents and I do not want to hurt their feelings and I CERTAINLY don't want them to disown me..I honestly don't know what they will do:( I have basically been faking it when ever I am around them. Sometime I have to go to church with them and I just have to fake like I am actually in to it. Actually, not many people actually know my secret..except for my girlfriend, who shares the same ideals as me, except she was never raised as a Christian and never had to deal with explaining to people that you love that you do not believe in their God. Part of me feels like I should just fake it in front of my parents the rest of my life, so I don't have to hurt their feelings of thinking their son is going to Hell. I know I could get away with doing that...but I know there will be problems when I have children of my own and my parents are talking crazy Jesus stuff to my kid...meanwhile I don't want my kids to go though the same brainwashing that I had too. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. It sucks.
Is there anyone else going through these same feelings? How did you do it? It is best to just live a lie with your parents instead of telling the truth, knowing that they will be happier with the lie?
Please Help!
My best of advice to u and others that feel like this is to not ask another ,just read your Bible and and pray don;t expect other answer your Question for you, you need for God himself to reveal to you the answer your question, only God can tell u the answer you need ,there are to many people out their today, who want to tell you how to live your life. Folllw the word not people.

“ROCK ON ROCKERS!!”

Since: Mar 11

Rockin' USA ;)

#13 Dec 27, 2012
Listen to your inner heart and rationalize it yourself.. the Bible is a book of words..interpretation relies upon what you believe. Remember, these words were heard and written down by the receiver.. they may have been altered to clarify their meaning. People sometimes, will tell yoU how to resolve your problem, NOT really knowing the full circumstances. EACH one of us has our own issues, it may help you to speak to someone outside of family and friends to put you back on track. If it works for you, do it. ..Life can be overwhelming at times..good to have someone to listen.
Fort Readiness

Raven, VA

#14 Dec 27, 2012
People can't choose salvation for you.You have to recognize it and want it!
yu

Lebanon, VA

#15 Dec 27, 2012
Why not say hey do you know the earth is millions of years old not 10000
dr phil

Dayton, VA

#16 Dec 28, 2012
who give a sh**

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