DNA give new insights into Michelle Obama's roots

Jun 23, 2012 Full story: The State

Joan Tribble held tightly to her cane as she ventured into the overgrown cemetery where her people were buried.

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Not-here

Saint Marys, GA

#1 Jul 31, 2012
It is official! Michelle Obama was an accidental scientific experiment. Sources tell us that "her mother was actually dared at a party to pose naked in front of one of the gorilla cages at the nearby zoo". An intoxicated young lady is alleged to have bent over toward the camera when one of the obnoxiously strengthy 'red-butted orangutan' delivered a handful of his own dung with speeds fifty times that of a major league pitcher. The ensuing pregnancy, while gruesome and painful, was, to some extent "a biological evolutionary miracle", according to local sheep farmers who witnessed the event. "We heard something like a rocket and then it sounded like someone was beating a dead horse with a slab of bacon" said one of the farmers. Regardless, the outcome was one hell of an event, which led to the current problem of naked people at zoos around the world who bend over n front of orangutan cages. Since the event was uncovered, the African monkey guided tours claim to "get wealthy overnight in anticipation for the next election".
Not-here

Saint Marys, GA

#2 Jul 31, 2012
Update: other sources have come forward with evidence indicating this is "BY NO MEANS a racial incident." Further eyewitnesses have also stated "hell, Tom Cruise's momma was here weeks before we saw this stuff on the monitors...and she came every day and got nekkid for them baboons! Hell we was wondering what she was doin over there but we were gitting a free strip show so we dint complain or tell no one...know what I'm tammout?" Other camera recordings have shown that hundreds of others including Donald Trump, msnbc's own Rachel maddow, Lou Dobbs, the guy who does the voice for Barney, and Joe Jackson "....but we had to tell Joe multiple times that it doesn't work if he is hit in the mouth or even the ass since he is a man and men cannot become impregnated...but he ignored us and said 'it worked for Britanny Spears!' " So there you have it folks.... stand in front of a gorilla cage naked at the zoo and have monkey feces launched at your genitalia and you MIGHT be impregnated with a superstar offspring.
village idiot

Jesup, GA

#3 Aug 3, 2012
Not-here wrote:
Update: other sources have come forward with evidence indicating this is "BY NO MEANS a racial incident." Further eyewitnesses have also stated "hell, Tom Cruise's momma was here weeks before we saw this stuff on the monitors...and she came every day and got nekkid for them baboons! Hell we was wondering what she was doin over there but we were gitting a free strip show so we dint complain or tell no one...know what I'm tammout?" Other camera recordings have shown that hundreds of others including Donald Trump, msnbc's own Rachel maddow, Lou Dobbs, the guy who does the voice for Barney, and Joe Jackson "....but we had to tell Joe multiple times that it doesn't work if he is hit in the mouth or even the ass since he is a man and men cannot become impregnated...but he ignored us and said 'it worked for Britanny Spears!' " So there you have it folks.... stand in front of a gorilla cage naked at the zoo and have monkey feces launched at your genitalia and you MIGHT be impregnated with a superstar offspring.
and you you be so kind to tell what miracle of science we have to thank for your own wonderful exsistence!

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