lostmyreigns

United States

#66 Feb 7, 2012
I never thought i would read these posts, let alone right on them with my own experiences. My 17 year son feels that he's ungroundable, entitled and can do whatever. And actually he's right. He constantly calls me (mom) fucking bitch, terrible cook, horrible mother and wishes me a divorce from his dad. He is on Independent study as a junior, smokes pot in his room against our wishes. He needs therapy but refuses. His dad wont help and gets mad at me when I say enough is enough; we owe him HELP! What do I do?

Since: Jan 12

Location hidden

#67 Feb 9, 2012
lostmyreigns wrote:
I never thought i would read these posts, let alone right on them with my own experiences. My 17 year son feels that he's ungroundable, entitled and can do whatever. And actually he's right. He constantly calls me (mom) fucking bitch, terrible cook, horrible mother and wishes me a divorce from his dad. He is on Independent study as a junior, smokes pot in his room against our wishes. He needs therapy but refuses. His dad wont help and gets mad at me when I say enough is enough; we owe him HELP! What do I do?
this might sound mean but jerk the pot outta his hand beat the shit out of him a few good times and slap him across the mouth when he calls you those names, i did that n my mother did that to me n i NEVER did it again. Now i dont mean child abuse but let him know whose boss.
Jessica

Westminster, CA

#68 Feb 20, 2012
My 16 year old daughter called me a "stupid bitch" yesterday for the firsttime and I still recovering from it. My initial reaction was to go over and kick her ASS! but i refrained from doing so because I don't want to get physical with her. I am still thinking of a consequence for her. I want something that is going to hurt her and make her feel disrespected as much as she hurt and disrespected me. According to her dad, she wants to apologize but is she really sorry? Kids these days apologize but say it in order not to get the consequence and think that it makes everything better. It sometimes doesn't. Any ideas?
distressedmother

Melbourne, Australia

#69 Mar 2, 2012
I googled and found this site because I am in a similar boat to many others here. In fact, sometimes I felt like I was reading my own story. My daughter has a lot of anger at the moment, and she is taking it out on me. When she was 14 she was a monster and physically abusive, just awful. I had to call the police a few times. But I got her counselling and sent her to my parents for a bit and she changed her ways. For a year or so she was wonderful, no real issues. But recently she has turned foul again. She is now living with her dad and I have had to tell her that we need space from each other because I cant handle her abuse and she keeps apologising but then doing it again. She has been calling me disgusting names, and I am no prude, but using words I would never use.
Its hard because her father has hated me ever since I left him 9 years ago, and she has seen him being abusive of me and I guess she feels she can be like that too. Also, she knows I will always love her so I guess she feels as though its safe to take things out on me. But she doesnt dare speak to her father or his girlfriend like that!
I bought tickets last year for my son, my daughter and I to go to an event, and it was on last night and I took my son and a friend's son, she was so mad! Rang me and told me she was supposed to go, like she was entitled to behave like that and still get the good life. I said she didnt deserve to go, she said screw you and hung up on me. I work in a highly paid job, so I have always been able to afford to get my children the things they need and want, and to do so many things my parents couldnt afford for us to do. I pride myself on the opportunities and experiences I have been able to give my children. But there is no appreciation from her.
Like another person said, thank god for my son. He is the joy of my life, I adore him and he is so sweet. He is 12, and we have a wonderful relationship, especially now as it is just him and I. I just hope he never turns on me the way she has! Things at home are just so peaceful now she is not here, sad to say, but my son feels the same way.
But then, the other issue too is the heartbreak that this is causing me because I love my daughter more than anything, and it physically hurts not being able to hug her and see her. Me putting my foot down about not seeing her is necessary for my own mental health and self respect, but I am afraid in some ways that it will turn her against me because she will consider that I have rejected her and will then decide to reject me back.
My sister just had a baby girl a week ago, and my other sister is talking about having a baby, and I told her to really think long and hard about it, because sometimes I think life would have been so much easier if I didnt have any children at all, and maybe just had dogs or something! As a parent, we dedicate our whole lives to our children and being the best parent we can, and when things turn out like this, I guess its like we have just wasted our lives. What to do?

Since: Mar 12

Meadville, PA

#70 Mar 3, 2012
I feel for all of you, I live with my boyfriend and two of his kids age 13 and11 are abusive to me. I feel hopeless.I don't want to leave but I cant stand this life no more. Its mental abuse,emotional everyday,and phsycal sometimes. I don't want to hurt bf its not his fault his kids are like that,their mom says to bf you should be defending your kids not gf. So cant help kids when mom says its ok. So it comes down to live this way everyday and feel hopeless angry and just want to end life cause you don't want to hurt bf. I feel stuck.I never thought I eouldsay these words how can I stay with the love of my life when I hate his kids,and will do nothing with them.
kathy

Worcester, MA

#72 Apr 28, 2012
Here is my two cents.....KIDS SUCK!!! We do everything we can for them and it seems as they turn 14 we are aliens from another planet....They forget we had to sacrifice so much to raise them....feed them nicely.....provide for them in general....My son drinks here alot then becomes a crabass....My husband does not back me up at all because he is too busy hanging in the bar all day and then coming home and being very stupid and calling me names.....now my daugher is pregnant and she is soooo touchy and crabby she acts like I am a piece of dirt....these people are nice to others on the outside so noone would believe me that here in the home all I get is abuse.....And these kids are in their 30's and should know better.....I am making plans for another life and another family.....cuz the one I have SUCKS!!!!
vic

Searcy, AR

#73 Apr 29, 2012
have you ever spanked your child.
Abusedmom1129

Tampa, FL

#74 Apr 29, 2012
Sorry u missed the point its because the sorry X is not stepping up to help they are the lazy ones and we the MOMs have to be both parents and work... So we have less time for our kids. I work from home now and we get along much better. That is the POINT
Captain Obvious wrote:
Hmmm..... common theme is broken homes. All I see here are references to ex this, step that. Try to keep your marriage going or don't have kids if you and your ex aren't mature enough to make a lasting partnership. Don't marry into broken families, you get all the shit. The kids are pissed off and alienated, you can't fix it by changing faces at the top of the family.
Abusedmom1129

Tampa, FL

#75 Apr 29, 2012
Thank you It was 1 year my daughter lived w her dad. I really enjoyed my quiet time. BUT i found out my daughter had moved out and lived in her car I was soo heart broken and had no way of finding her. Until a friend of hers called me and told mt Her boyfriend beat her up and she was hurt and asking for me.... Talk about me being mad and scared I was going to lose my daughter..... So restraining orders and she moved in w me.. I did call police and I actually work in legal field and There is nothing you can do. When kids are you unless its moving them to an X (which breaks your heart) or another family member..You can be arrested for Child abuse. Now over 16 if they live in your house and you tell them to move out. wow a new can of worms. NOW you have to evict them.. oo yes the whole court process..
everyday news wrote:
<quoted text>
Good for you!
Everyone should follow your advice.
Stop being afraid of your children. If there isn't another parent available then you will just have to report their abuse to the Law and let a Judge put them on the right path to good behavior.
If you don't have tough love now you will always enable an abuser and never, ever find peace. Don't you deserve better?
Children are basically selfish. They don't care what you give them, if they didn't have to work for it.
Take your life back. You deserve better and are worthy. Get professional help and find out why you are allowing someone to abuse you.
Abusedmom1129

Tampa, FL

#76 Apr 29, 2012
Please leave!! It will not get better, esp if they are sometime physically abusive and YES it's your BF fault also. He has no respect for you to tell them to STOP and get them help. Move on please..I had a GF that lived like that.the Xwife was flattening her tires and and calling her and verbal abuse on phone and she would hangup on her...and she finally got out and loves her new life w/o abuse. Everyone deserves such a better life. God Bless and Good luck
angels164 wrote:
I feel for all of you, I live with my boyfriend and two of his kids age 13 and11 are abusive to me. I feel hopeless.I don't want to leave but I cant stand this life no more. Its mental abuse,emotional everyday,and phsycal sometimes. I don't want to hurt bf its not his fault his kids are like that,their mom says to bf you should be defending your kids not gf. So cant help kids when mom says its ok. So it comes down to live this way everyday and feel hopeless angry and just want to end life cause you don't want to hurt bf. I feel stuck.I never thought I eouldsay these words how can I stay with the love of my life when I hate his kids,and will do nothing with them.
trys her best as a mum

Sydney, Australia

#77 May 21, 2012
im sitting here with tears in my eyes.. i have had a horrible past yr with my 14 yr old daughter.she was sexually abused by her father at the age of 4. i spent alot of money in court to keep her safe as any mother would. i took her to counselling and was there for her no matter what. there was rough days when she would lash out at me, but i always was calm thinking her hurt from what her father did is coming out and i let her take it out on me. but as the time went on she grew in to a beautiful girl. but of late i have had a bad time she swears at me pulls my hair and tells me she wouldnt care if i died or went and lived with my partner. her grandmother doesnt say alot to how she treats me and my daughter has even lash out in front of her.. the grandmother just smiles and says nothing.. i feel at my wits end as i have no support and im hurting so much because the i feel that my daughter doesnt love me or repsect me any more. i love her so much and would do any thing for her. i cant even type as my heart is breaking. i wish there was a magic wand to make every thing better.:(
Brian

Maple Ridge, Canada

#78 May 25, 2012
abusivemomfl1158 wrote:
What is this world coming to? Our Kids run our lives and abuse us. Can you imagine what our parents would have DONE to us if we even said NO to taking out the Trash. Long enough say F U to them... I know I would not be here now. Sooo WHY do our KIDS do this to US and we let them get away with it? Any ideas? I was in ER for chest pains this week and my kid texted me and said Maybe I'll get my wish. That I would die
Talk about more upsetting.. oo I meant to make my name ABUSEDMOM1158 opps lol
My 20 year old son abuses me everyday. He told me to fuck off two days ago, told he i am a loser, i have no friends, nobody likes me and kept swearing at me, he has totalled my truck, stole off me, lies about everything, goes out everyday and all weekend, does not look for work eats all our food and my wife allows this. I AM READY TO LEAVE, MY WIFE WILL NOT TAKE A STAND, I CALLED THE POLICE AS I AM GETTING ABUSED AND WILL NOT TAKE THIS, she leaves with him as she always does! I am scared for my life it is that bad
Losing the battle

Fort Wayne, IN

#80 Jul 2, 2012
My daughter is 18 and graduated HS whew. Shone gphas been very abusive to me for several years. If she would straighten up she could live here and go to college but her grades were so bad she will have to go to community college instead of living in a dorm and gaining independence. She calls me names every day now. She says she hates me and wishes I were dead. I hoped this would get better but she is getting worsrpe. She refuses to go to counseling. I am not divorced from her father. Living with her is he'll. She will not look for a job. She sits in her room all day. Does her hair and make up bitches me out every time she sees me . I can r take anymore of this. I don't know how to get her out of the house or how to make her look for a job.. She is so fake to friends. They have no idea how she treats me. Any advice?
Afraid711

Houston, TX

#81 Jul 8, 2012
It is comforting to know that I'm not alone but it is also sad that this happens to so many of us. My son calls me a dumb bitch, a pussy, tells me to fuck off...I have given that kid everything. I am afraid of him because I'm a small woman and he's 6'2" and works out a lot. I'm afraid that if I take his car keys he will hurt me or my dogs. But I can't take the verbal abuse. I just go in my room and cry. I never thought I would be a woman who has a man call her a bitch every day. He is going away to college on Aug.17 and I'm counting down the days. I hope that will straighten him out.
Stacy

Port Jefferson Station, NY

#82 Jul 9, 2012
My 18 year old son told me today that the reason he treats me like crap is because I've been too overbearing for 18 years. I've done everything for him his whole life. I love him and my daughter more than anything. All I do is brag about him. I don't think there's a mother out there who loves her son more than I do. Whenever I talk to him, he tells me to "shut up, I'm stupid, or I'm an idiot." Oh and, "get out of my room." This whole summer, since he's been home from college, he doesn't come down for dinner ever, unless I beg him. He's on a special diet for bodybuilding and makes his own dinner.
I can't tell you how much he hurts me by doing this. I couldn't take it any more and finally told him I had to talk to him this morning. That's when he told me that he treats me like that because it's the way I've talked to him for 18 years and the fact that I've been overbearing for 18 years. I know I am overbearing, but I just love him. I hate the way he treats me and I told him that. I told him that I haven't called him that much this summer or gone in his room, except to get his garbage and to take out his dirty dishes. I started going to a counselor, but had to stop now since my husband just lost his job.
I know I don't deserve to be treated with such disrespect. I don't understand why. I honestly think he is a bit spoiled and that is the reason he is like he is. I just don't think it's fair and he doesn't even say he's sorry any more.
He is a really good kid, who earned a 4 year track scholarship. He does well in school and has a really good summe job.
I don't know. Any advice would be helpful. Thanks in advance.
Annie

North Wales, PA

#83 Jul 19, 2012
Sometimes the teen has to lash out to DEFEND themselves. Just because your a parent and an adult doesnt mean your holy or an angel. My mom lashes out at me for every little thing. I'm a straight A student and work hard to be a good runner for track and study and she always tell me that I'm going to end up in a community college. She yells at me everyday and pushes and scrapes me and never stops grounding me. She constantly takes away my phone and act like I'm not in the house. So duh obviously I have to defend myself and tell her to back off. She was yelling at my younger brother yesterday just because he didnt understand a math concept and he was just bawling and crying. I felt so bad! So I told my mom to be quieter because I couldn't concentrate on my own studies. She flips out and pushes me back into my room and yells at me for commanding her to do something. If I cant complete the amount of work she assigns me to do each day (i have to teach myself all these advanced classes) she will just make me stay in my room. So parents, if you treat your kid too harshly to achieve something only you want, your kid is going to defend him/herself and tell you to shut up every once in a while so they can do what they want for their life. The more you press your kid to obey you or be a better person, the worse they will act towards you. Try to see it from their point of view and ALWAYS TRY TO COMPROMISE.
Jessie

New York, NY

#85 Aug 21, 2012
Lets see wrote:
what is wrong with you women? Stop playing VICTIM. YOU are the PARENT! Remove all privileges (including Internet and cell phone) and EXPLAIN that you're doing it because she has not respected you and your home and your rules. If that doesn't work, go to local authorities and have her removed from your home (cite abuse - file a report). Or, send her to live with relatives.
Pull yourselves up out of that pity puddle and DO something. I don't tolerate this crap from my kids EVER. I'm not a friend, I'm a PARENT.
The problem I have is that I take things away and she doesnt care. If I punish her and tell her she can't go out she does it anyway. She lies and manipulates my ex into thinking I'm terrible to her. Nothing I do works. She says I never listen to her and that I'm never there for her but that couldn't be farther from the truth. I set time aside from my two jobs to spend time with her for her to tell me she doesn't want to and I when I press the issue she gets verbally abusive and tries to taught fights.
I'm sick of it. I told her to go live with her dad if he's the better one but he won't have any if it but wants to side with her when he has no idea what he's taking about.
I'm tired if being abused!

Since: Jun 11

Location hidden

#86 Aug 21, 2012
Divorcing the father is not a reason for her to use you as a doormat. You BOTH need therapy, her getting in trouble isn't a reason to call you a "snitch". Regardless, your her mother and you deserve respect. Do you put a roof over her head? Buy her clothes? Support her? She sounds like an ungrateful little brat. I would cut her off monetarily until she learns how to control her attitude towards you.
Depressed5675 wrote:
So I know that things could be worse.... she could be meaner.... but what she is doing is causing me to feel depressed. Lately I don't look forward to the days anymore. I know at some point in the day she is going to call me a fucking bitch, stupid, ugly, fat, etc. Now that she is always in trouble she calls me a snitch too.
I do my best to not react and usually I succeed but lately I can't help but to feel very sad.
I divorced her father years ago and he treated me very badly. Now I feel like I am stuck with another abuser that I can't get rid of.
Butrflybel

Brisbane, Australia

#87 Aug 22, 2012
This would have to be the longest thread ever dating from 09! I think we have an epidemic & parents need to get some laws changed to give us authority over our kids. Laws like attending therapy sessions not prisons!! Prisons to meet like minded trouble if not worse kids!
No more

Rayton, South Africa

#88 Sep 21, 2012
It is the most aweful thing to go through !! To feel like such a failure !!

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