Nite Shift workers needed for Noosepaper

Nite Shift workers needed for Noosepaper

Posted in the Punxsutawney Forum

MeCar

United States

#1 Apr 15, 2013
De noosepaper I work for need peepol to deliver noosepapers at nite.
Dey no do cwiminal background check. Dey just need more peepol like me who like to wide a wound in de dark widt car dat fast.

And if you do have cwiminal wecord, dey no fire you as long as you were in jail for tings like statutory rape, or stalk in & harassin girls who pwetty. Dat way, dey no dat you weally good at riding a wound at nite widt car.

Anywon wanna deliver noosepapers fast widt wacecar at nite pleeze come over to noosepaper during daytime. No need to take bath or be cleen. Dey like to see you like normal.
gomer

Altoona, PA

#2 Apr 16, 2013
I thought I'd come over and apply but I'll need to go out first and rape an underage girl and go to jail. Then I'll have to get out and go out and stalk and harass more women (and also go to jail).
Seems like a lot of hassle just to obtain credentials to deliver newspapers.
How do I get a good paying government job being a caretaker for an old women instead, like you? Would I also have to "make" her my fianci? And do they also require your criminal background?
Thanks

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