too young for marriage
idk what to do

United States

#1 Oct 1, 2012
I've been with my girlfriend for about 7 months, broken up for 1 month during..... Long distance relationship btw. We see each other maybe 3-4 days outta the month
We got engaged this Summer. She is the air I breathe
I was just wondering if early next year might be too soon to make her my wife
I love her so much and I cant stand being away from her. When Im with her at home Im so happy but when I come back to work. I miss her and get real lonely.
Marriage is the only solution for this problem.
Advice or thoughts?
wondering

Princeton, WV

#2 Oct 1, 2012
how old are you if you are under 25 years old your way to young you have plenty of time
GoforIt

Oakvale, WV

#3 Oct 1, 2012
How old are you and your fiance?
1 post removed
been there

Roanoke, VA

#5 Oct 1, 2012
If she is under 20 please wait. I been with several girls and wanted to marry them all. The relationships was perfect. Even had a baby and had our own place for a year or two. Problem was she was under 20. Once they reach the 20s priorities change. Might not be that way with her but trust me wait til she turns 20, dont want her to say later that you took her best years,cause 4 out of 5 will say it. Just remember 80% of all people that gets married ends up divorced. 20% is gay marrage. Shows me only people that should get married is f*gs.lol sorry had to say it, but it is what it is do what u think is right. If u trust her do it trust is hard to find nowdays..
Knows Stuffs

Rupert, WV

#6 Oct 1, 2012
Wait until thirty, I tell you! You may not realize it now, but you probably don't even know who you really are yet. I thought that I knew who I was, and got married at twenty. Now we're both different people and even though we love each other, we don't like each other at ALL!! Marrying too young breeds resentment. You'll miss out on things that you don't even think you want, but LATER you will realize you DID want them and it's too late!

Don't even LIVE together under twenty five, you'll suffocate one another and you won't even realize it. All of the things you'll do to keep each other content, like skipping parties or doing everything together will permanently alter the direction your life goes. You'll wake up one day, life half over, beside somebody you don't even know anymore, and they'll be snoring or grinding their teeth and you'll have to stifle the urge to kick them in the shin and pretend you did it in your sleep. You'll look in the mirror at your rapidly decaying youth, and you WILL want to travel back in time and beat the hell out of your younger, more romantic, self for even THINKING of getting married that young.

Maybe you're thinking "This person is nuts. They're nothing like me! My relationship is much better and it will ALWAYS be perfect". Well, I am nuts. NOW. I believed in romance and all of that fairy tale garbage once, too. Now I don't believe in anything, and if you fail to heed my advice YOU WON'T EITHER! I'm going to go mourn my lost youth now...
idk what to do

United States

#7 Oct 2, 2012
But this is the only way for us to be together because of my job. And I could be gone at the drop of a hat and end up without her. I don't want that
nose stuff too

Rupert, WV

#8 Oct 2, 2012
Knows stuff is totally right. She took my youth all my best years. Resentment. Loathing. And a total stranger in the bed next to me. I'm only thirty and already I've given up and just waiting to die. Stuck here now under a mountain of debt and a pile of kids. No one under thirty should marry.
Ponderer

Lerona, WV

#9 Oct 2, 2012
You don't want to wait until she is 30 in Mercer County because she will have slept with every man in the county by that time. Unless that doesn't matter to you but I would have a problem with walking down the street with a woman and realize that every man we came in contact with has slept with my wife.
Knows Stuffs

Rupert, WV

#10 Oct 2, 2012
Ponderer wrote:
You don't want to wait until she is 30 in Mercer County because she will have slept with every man in the county by that time. Unless that doesn't matter to you but I would have a problem with walking down the street with a woman and realize that every man we came in contact with has slept with my wife.
Do you really think marriage is going to stop that from happening? If somebody is the type to sleep around, better that you AREN'T married to them when you find that out. My spouse isn't a cheater, but just LOOK around you and on Topix. Cheaters everywhere! It's probably another side effect of all the people around here who get married too damned young.
Knows Stuffs

Rupert, WV

#11 Oct 2, 2012
idk what to do wrote:
But this is the only way for us to be together because of my job. And I could be gone at the drop of a hat and end up without her. I don't want that
What kind of job do you have that requires marriage to stay together? Military or the like? Don't let your circumstances cloud your judgement. If you didn't have this job, would you still be in such a rush to tie the knot?

Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Wait until the infatuation has worn off and you can see each other clearly, and you both KNOW that you can actually tolerate each other as human beings. Get to know each other, flaws, strengths, weaknesses, bathroom habits and ALL. That magic and lust wears off and you're left with something like a sibling or roommate, and the younger you are, the more time you both have to change in any direction. And you will.

Don't go thinking "Oh, if it gets THAT bad, I'll just get a divorce!" You'd be surprised at the things that will prevent you from doing that, and it doesn't usually turn out so great for those who do divorce either. Child support, alimony, giving up half of your things, fighting, your kids having step-parents, ruined credit, custody battles, awkward family holidays, having trouble meeting anyone new due to all of your baggage.

Marriage is hard, even good ones, and a bad one will suck out your soul and spit all that remains of your destroyed dreams on it. Whether you stay in it or not!

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