what do you say to telemarketers when...

what do you say to telemarketers when they keep calling ?

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too funny

Bluefield, WV

#1 Jul 9, 2010

Brooksville, FL

#2 Jul 9, 2010
I tell them that I'm a bedwetter and I'm in the middle of pissing up the mattress and to just call back later.

Athens, WV

#3 Jul 9, 2010
Ask them if they accept food stamps.

“Cogito, ergo irata...”

Since: Mar 10

Location hidden

#4 Jul 9, 2010
It really depends on what they're trying to sell. For instance, if they're trying to get you to switch phone carriers, tell them you don't have a phone. That always burns their asses. If they're trying to sell you television service, ask them "just exactly what IS a tv?". You would be surprised how many of them will attempt to explain it. The rest just hang up. If they're asking you for a donation, they will usually start you out with an amount like $25 or so. At this point, you would want to bargain with them a little and explain that you really don't have $25 to give right now and ask what the minimum donation would be. They will usually tell you it's your call, and you will at this point want to ask them if $25 would be enough. Then, repeat steps one and two until they hang up.
thats how

Lerona, WV

#5 Jul 9, 2010
*Say Hello then throw down the phone and walk away.
•Talk incoherently.
•Play deaf or say that you have a bad connection.
•Talk gibberish.
•Try to order a large pepperoni pizza.
•Repeatedly dial the phone. Mutter that it isn't ringing
•Try to sell the telemarketer something.
•Pretend to be really interested, then say "no".
•Keep crackers near the phone. When a telemarketer calls eat the crackers. Chew loudly, make slurping noises, and talk with your mouth full.
too funny

Bluefield, WV

#6 Jul 9, 2010
keep asking if they have ticks or fleas they will eventually hang up

Beckley, WV

#7 Jul 9, 2010
tell them you are on the national do not call list and you are pressing charges..thedy stop or they get fined!!!
Dust Buster

United States

#8 Jul 9, 2010
My uncle got a call from a telemarketer saying that the warranty on his car was about to run out and for blah blah amount he could be covered..uncle asked on which car? the guy said "what kind of car do you have?...uncle said "well you called me! If my warranty is about to expire you should know what kind of car I have!....the guy got mad..and said " listen sir theres no need to be rude"...this went on back and forth 5 minutes..finally uncle said " its a 1926 ford"..believe it or not the telemarketer cussed out my uncle and hung up!

Rock, WV

#9 Jul 9, 2010
i pick up the fone......start screaming bloody murder. i then yell "hes tryin to kill me!" make a gurgling sound and say "he stabbed me." and pretend to die.....the same number never calls again
Mark Skidmark

Brooksville, FL

#10 Jul 10, 2010
I hold the phone near my a-ss and keep farting until the telemarketer hangs up.

Since: Apr 10

Location hidden

#11 Jul 10, 2010
This is really hilarious. So nice to read something entertaining & not bashing someone. May have to try some of these the next time I get called by a telemarketer.

“What Me Worry?”

Level 1

Since: Apr 10

Location hidden

#12 Jul 10, 2010
Other things that work:

1. Ask the solicitor for sex.
2. Keep saying, "huh?" every time they say something.
3. Belch long and loud as often as possible.
4. Tell them you know they're a space alien and your phone is tapped by the Men in Black
5. Burst into tears and tell them their voice reminds you of your dead husband/wife/BF/GF
Joe the Plumber

Brooksville, FL

#13 Jul 10, 2010
Tell them your toilet is backed up, the house is flooded, and you need them to come to your house with a plunger and snakewire.

Bluefield, WV

#14 Jul 10, 2010
Fake one. Get loud. Scream YES YES YES. Then, ask for a light.
Queensryche Rules

Bluefield, WV

#15 Jul 10, 2010
Give to the Shop with a Cop program. That's a good program to give to.

Ask the others to put you on the "Do not call" list.

They suppose to honor that, by Law.

Franklin, TN

#16 Jul 10, 2010
I usually just give the phone to one of my kids (both are under five) and let them talk until the telemarketer hangs up.

“Whole lotta CraZy”

Since: May 10

Location hidden

#17 Jul 10, 2010
I've been bad to answer the phone, and after I hear their blah blah blah, I say, hold on, I'll be right back, and lay the phone beside the tv and blast it, and leave it there. If they call back, I do it again, eventually they get tired and give up.

“Lok'tar ogar”

Level 1

Since: Jul 10

Location hidden

#18 Jul 10, 2010
Warn them by Federal Law you have the right to take action on them. and, To stop calling. If they do not stop try this.

The FCC can issue warning citations and impose fines against companies violating or suspected of violating the do-not-call rules, but does not award individual damages. If you receive a telephone solicitation that you think violates any of these rules, you can file a complaint with the FCC. There is no charge for filing a complaint. You can file your complaint using an on-line complaint form found at esupport.fcc.gov/complaints.htm . You can also file your complaint with the FCC’s Consumer Center by e-mailing [email protected]; calling 1-888-CALL-FCC (1-888-225-5322) voice or 1-888-TELL-FCC (1-888-835-5322) TTY; faxing 1-866-418-0232; or writing to:

Federal Communications Commission
Consumer & Governmental Affairs Bureau
Consumer Inquiries & Complaints Division
445 12th Street, SW
Washington, DC 20554.
Frank Phart

Brooksville, FL

#19 Jul 10, 2010
Be sure the phone is nearby your computer so you can keep the telemarketer busy with a variety of noises.


Bluefield, WV

#20 Jul 10, 2010
Pick up the phone and scream "I'm not interested" in a funny voice. Haa

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