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Psych Major

United States

#1 Feb 2, 2011
I want this to completely remain anonymus but who has had one, is having one? I dont want names, just motives behind it & first hand experience as to how, what, when, where, & why. LET ME REPEAT, I DO NOT CARE WHO (ex: john boy walton) IS HAVING ONE, BUT RATHER JOHN BOY'S PERSPECTIVE AS TO WHY HE DID IT!
prettysure

United States

#2 Feb 2, 2011
Rather you put on here you don't want names or not we live in a malicious town! People are take this and blast peoples names all over it! This will turn bad for the guilty and the innocent. Just so you know.
Psych Major

United States

#3 Feb 2, 2011
Then my hopes would be that people take the ones throwing names out with a grain of sand and ignore them. Psychology fascinates me. Sociopaths, psychopaths, cheaters, etc. but this is the safest way to get people's points of view without them thinking I want them or whatever else they may come up with in their heads. I just want to hear personal experiences, motives, etc. JUST NOT NAMES!!!
I know

Beckley, WV

#4 Feb 2, 2011
I know someone who is having one and they say its mainly because how the other person makes them feel about themselves. The person makes them feel special where as there spouse puts them down constantly and never has a kind word to say to them. Its not that she doesnt love her husband but she is just not getting needs met. Even though it is morally wrong and she knows this but she feels loved by this other man.
A friend

Beckley, WV

#5 Feb 2, 2011
wow love affairs,
i think they happen because your not getting what you wont an need at home an the excitement of it.Dont do it in your home town u will get caught out of town .I have been having one for almost 4years now holidays are hard with gifts trying to figure out a what to do with them an how to explain.But the rest of it is great both guys get attention an i get double attention..
a man

Kingston Springs, TN

#6 Feb 2, 2011
Mostly it's about the conquest, the feeling that someone other than your spouse finds you attractive. The excitment it creates seems to give a false sence of masculinity in men, and a feeling of conquering women.
For women, I think it's all about the extra attention.
Just a guess, but I'd say both have self esteem issues. I could never understand why anyone would risk losing their families over some sex, and probably bad sex at that, lol.
curious

Beckley, WV

#7 Feb 2, 2011
Question for a man. So do most men have affairs just because of how the woman makes them feel? Do you think they really love the other woman? I have known a few women who have had affairs and they fall deeply in love and the man says they love them too, but they never promise them a future. They just keep saying they want them around and how much they love them but wont leave there wives for them. So does that mean they really dont love them? Is it just about the sex for the man?
a man

Kingston Springs, TN

#8 Feb 2, 2011
It rarely has anything to do with love. It's the excitmrnt as much as the sex. Some guys will tell you anything to keep it going(the affair).
I think

Bluefield, WV

#9 Feb 2, 2011
A friend wrote:
wow love affairs,
i think they happen because your not getting what you wont an need at home an the excitement of it.Dont do it in your home town u will get caught out of town .I have been having one for almost 4years now holidays are hard with gifts trying to figure out a what to do with them an how to explain.But the rest of it is great both guys get attention an i get double attention..
I think getting married to young is one reason it happens.
I know men that have everything in a woman they could want at home and they still choose to cheat. I think some women are to darn good to them. They let them dominate them, treat them any way they want to and they cheat because they do not have any respect for their spouse. I learned to late in life. If I had it to do over, his azz would walk the line. He sure would not be king of his castle and me at his feet. When you find out they are cheating on you, it devastes you, it hurts so bad cause you have devoted your life to making him happy and you cannot understand it.
curious

Beckley, WV

#10 Feb 2, 2011
a man wrote:
It rarely has anything to do with love. It's the excitmrnt as much as the sex. Some guys will tell you anything to keep it going(the affair).
Then thats very sad for the women who fall for these men and believe everything they are told. They risk losing there families for a man that is just using them .
a man

Kingston Springs, TN

#11 Feb 2, 2011
curious wrote:
<quoted text>Then thats very sad for the women who fall for these men and believe everything they are told. They risk losing there families for a man that is just using them .
Absolutely correct.
been there

Beckley, WV

#12 Feb 2, 2011
I just want to say that if you are having an affair and you think no one knows about it you are so wrong. I have never seen a man in an affair that would not talk about it to other men. They will tell their woman friend that they would never say any thing but they all definetely talk about it. It boost their stupid ego to talk. Women are so dumb to get involved in affairs because they always get hurt. Remember if a man will cheat with you he will cheat on you. They always have more than one affair going at a time to.
Just divorce

Murfreesboro, TN

#13 Feb 2, 2011
Affairs are major TROUBLE!!! Anyone in one or is thinking about one should consider what life really means...
a man

Kingston Springs, TN

#14 Feb 2, 2011
You can't do anything without everyone knowing all about it, so don't do anything in the dark that you don't want to be seen in the light.
I do have one issue though, men don't cheat alone. There are just as many women cheating as men. It seems as though everyone is morally corrupt these days.
been there

Beckley, WV

#15 Feb 2, 2011
to Just divorce: TROUBLE is right especially if there are children involved. A woman that gets into an affair with a married man has no respect for her self at tll. Just about as low as a woman can go !!!
curious

Beckley, WV

#16 Feb 2, 2011
a man wrote:
<quoted text>
Absolutely correct.
<May I ask you if you are speaking from experience? Have you had affairs before and just used the women for sex and how it made you feel?
me man

Beckley, WV

#17 Feb 2, 2011
I am a man and have had affairs with several women . I am still married to my wife. I always told the women that I did not love my wife and we hated each other and all that stuff but all the time I was just using the women for sex. Did not bother me to use the women because i felt that a woman that would get in an affair was nothing but trash any way with no self respect so it did not matter to me. I almost lost my wife once and that taught me a lesson about affairs. And all men involved in affairs do love to talk to other men about their affairs with women .. most men joke about it !!
a man

Kingston Springs, TN

#18 Feb 2, 2011
curious wrote:
<quoted text><May I ask you if you are speaking from experience? Have you had affairs before and just used the women for sex and how it made you feel?
Yes you may ask...I'm single, and I make it clear upfront that I plan to stay single. I don't date married women, and I don't cheat.
With that being said, I wonder if the conversation has changed from a cheater, to include players?
Lol

Beckley, WV

#19 Feb 2, 2011
Women have affairs too, y does it ALWAYS have to be the man? A woman is just as capable as a man to have an affair hell all a woman has to do is spread her legs!!! Yes I am a woman, no I do not cheat but I know many women that are married with kids that DO cheat!!! It is not always the men! I know lots of married couples that are now divorced because the woman cheated, but if you ask the woman what happened they say the man cheated! This really makes me angry! My friend was caught by me cheating on her husband, they are now divorced and if u ask her what happened she says her husband cheated! This is stupid admit what u did and move on!
Psych Major

United States

#20 Feb 2, 2011
To those who have had one, how and why did you end it?

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