How to catch Husband Cheating.

How to catch Husband Cheating.

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Fed UP

Norton, VA

#1 Feb 23, 2013
I spent over a year listening to gossip, believing my husband telling me. " believe what you want. I know the truth" . My friends got sick of me. I got sick of not knowing. WOMEN. Trust your instinct! I took advice from a friend on here and said nothing to no one. I bought a voice activated recorder. Put it in his truck. A GPS and Duct Taped it under his truck. After 3 days . Nothing but a few phone conversations. That i could barely make out. I bit my tongue, held it in acted as if nothing was wrong and on the 4th day. I checked the recorder and heard my husband having sex in OUR vehicle. I knew the voice of the woman to. The gps wasn't needed after all.$50 voice recorder . 179.00 GPS. The look on his face when i hit play. PRICELESS !
just the 411

Loris, SC

#2 Feb 24, 2013
Oh, girl you are awesome!!!! I've been having the same problem, and all he does is deny deny deny, but I still know its going on, because I checked our phone records and he has almost 12,000 texts in a month on his phone!!!! I called the phone co. and they said you can get a copy of the texts, but you have to go thru a lawyer to have them subpeonaed. I am getting ready to bust his azz! Like you, I am so sick of it, and you are sooo right, we really know but we just need that hard copy evidence in our hand, that closure. Oh man, so I guess he was speechless as well, no more explanations? Are you going to file for divorce? Are there children involved? Bless your heart honey, I will pray for you and I hope you will for me! This is the worst thing in the world to have to go thru, and for me the 2nd time around, so I am D O N E with men!! I stay sick to my stomach and cry all the time. I never dreamed I'd be washed up with not one, but twooo, failed marriages. And every bit of it is the same, it over dope and a whore!!! Whyyy do these men want these hos? What is so special about them? Do they wanna be the ones to tame them, because guess what? They aint gonna change them! Whats your take on it? Was it your friend, the girl on the tape? The first one for me was my damnnn cousin! Boy, its a fabulous life we lead huh? Oh gosh, let me know how you are doing hon. I have a feeling Im gonna be right there with you here in a couple of weeks!:( So sorry, but at least you can finally know the truth, and I will too...
Fed UP

Norton, VA

#3 Feb 24, 2013
Im sorry.. Yes I did file for a divorce. The sound of my husband having sex with her never leaves my head. He denied it for so long. At first it was the same . Cell phone records. When i confronted him with that they texts and calls just stopped. So i assume he bought another phone (in hind sight) obviously the communication did not stop. No, she was not my friend. But she was someone that I casually knew, the same woman that the text messages were to 8 months prior. Yes, we do have children but , im going thru with the divorce. Once it's broken , you can never get it back. He is the last person on earth I ever thought would cheat, but he did. All the signs were there. I just was so blind that I didn't want to see them. He did'nt know what to say when I hit play , he grabbed the recorder and busted it. But i had already listened to it all . On the 1st and 2nd day I started to confront him when i heard him on the phone. Since , i knew he would explain that away . I decided to hang in a little longer. I needed Cold , hard proof . And i got more than i expected. The only mistake I made was not making a copy of the tape. But my lawyer said I couldnt use it anyway. I will keep u posted. Good luck to you. Yes i will pray for you.
melvin

United States

#4 Feb 24, 2013
Congratulations on busting his ass. The voice recorder is THE way to go as nobody expects it and every fool falls for it. I know it hurt to hear it but when you are free of him and want some honesty, we're out here. Not many, though. I DO love busting them , though.

Sorry about the GPS not being needed but I'm sure you know another person who is being treated like a dead rat. Sex, sex, sex. That's ALL they think about....

Good hunting, m'dear.

Be STRONG...and MAD!
melvin

United States

#5 Feb 24, 2013
Then again, what have I done? I am so sorry you had to hear it. Although I HIGHLY doubt it, what if it was the last time he would see her?

I don't want you to hurt. Hell, I don't even want HIM to HURT, just do right by his vows. I'm sorry. I've done this kind of thing half my life, electronic "listening" and such but I always felt OK about it but a lot of time has passed.

I'm sorry for the pain that truth brings. The truth would kill us all.

MEL
just the 411

Bulls Gap, TN

#6 Feb 24, 2013
Oh honey, bless your heart that you have that broken record forever playing in your head! And breaking up your family, kids, and life for what? A few minutes of pleasure with some old pill ho? I sure hope it was some good stuff! Well, I got my current phone info. today, and only 7,200 texts this month. He's falling down on the job! lol
Now, mind you, not all those texts are to her, some are actually to me (lol) and a few other people, but 95 percent are to her! Well, today I noticed that I can actually see that she sent him some pictures! Boy, I bet I would love to see those...not!! But, I bet her hubby might be interested! Well, but then again on second thought, I already showed him some texts and pics of his lovely wife and he was supposed to be filing for divorce last year, but she's still sitting right there! If he wants to put up with that, he can be stupid, but I'm tired of it myself! I have known about it for months, and I accuse and he denies, just like you did, Fed Up! And we've both known the whole time it never stopped!

They talk all day long! She needs to be laid off from her job is all I can say, because she is definitely not getting any work done. It's a full time job for her talking to my hubby!
Well, I am gonna bust them wide open as soon as I see what the texts say! It will probably be sickening! I'm sure the words will be forever burned into my brain just like your tape is! I've already heard they were planning to bump me off for the insurance policy!
Well, Fed Up, keep in touch girl, and know that you are being prayed for and thought of. I will be there with you soon enough! I am just numb right now. I know it's gonna hit he fan! It was hard going through it the first time, and now to have to do it again.... Oh, oh, and I forgot to tell you that when I first met her, she was trying to befriend me, texting and Facebooking me, and here's the best part, invited us to go to church with her and her husband! I tell you what, that is the lowest you can go, burn in hell, b*tch!!! Trying to use church to screw my husband is the lowest form of life!!! I just feel numb. Nobody has ever really loved me, and I am going to end up alone with not one, but 2 failed marriages! I will neverrr date again, I am so done! Thanks for your support Melvin!
Disagree

Salem, VA

#7 Feb 24, 2013
I have to say that as bad as I feel for you all, believe me from my heart I really do. I must disagree that a cheater can NOT change. I'm sure it is next to impossible alone but with GOD NOTHING is impossible!

I have been cheated on, not only that but my husband has a child by the other woman so trust me when I say I KNOW your pain. My husband has since turned his life over to The Lord and is a CHANGED man! Praise GOD! He is an amazing daddy and a wonderful husband so change IS possible.

I will be Praying for you both, that you make the right choices for you but if there is even a shadow of a doubt don't be so quick to throw awa your marriage over a mistake.
Fed UP

Norton, VA

#8 Feb 24, 2013
Melvin, you are not to blame. The questions in my head , the crying, wondering , its all gone. Laying next to him at night and not knowing where and who he had been with that day. It hurt. Yes. But the year of lies, smell of perfume, wandering if he loved me every day hurt more . No , it wasn't going to be the last time, he told her over and over how much he loved her. Thing about it was, left on time , came home on time that day. Somehow he found a full 47 mins to have sex with this woman in our truck! The GPS is just an extra toy i have now Melvin. Lol . Im glad that i know, truthfully i always knew. Got to say he lied to me so much, i think he believed his own lies. I believed him, i really believed these people were just out to break up our marriage. I should have followed my god- given instinct and left a year ago, but. Now i know. I don't blame myself, i don't even blame her. He is the only one to blame. He is the one who stood before God and took those Vows to me. Not her. Im glad I know. Now he is sleeping on his Mother's couch. Im warm and cozy in our home.Soon to be my own. He can have her , she can have him. A year from now when he is cheating on her. I will laugh.
just the 411

Duluth, GA

#9 Feb 24, 2013
Disagree, the lasttt thing in the world I want is a divorce and another break up. I truly love my husband, even though he is not really good for me. I would do anything to make it work, but see, I busted them last summer, and all 4 of us knew, I stupidly thought it was over, but checking the texts and finding thousands in one month? I am sooo sick.. I just want to cry and die, my heart is broken. Whyy cant he love me, that girl aint nothing but a dope ho, and this is the 2nd time around for me. My mentality will not take it!!! Oh Lord, please pray for me! He believes his lies to me too. Im so glad that Fed Up is stronger than me, but this aint my first rodeo, its my 2nd and I dont want to grow old alone. Why wud he want that ho over me? Sje is nothing but a user and cheater. I just dont get it. I am about to die of heartbreak!!!
just the 411

Duluth, GA

#10 Feb 24, 2013
hey guys im so sorry to repeat myself im just a nervous wreck plsss pray for me!!!! i love my husband it makes me so sick to my stomach i want to cry and die !! why cant he love me ?
Fed Up

Norton, VA

#11 Feb 25, 2013
Honey, it's not you. It's HIS problem. Don't blame yourself. If you choose to make it work, i hope that it can for your sake. But myself, i will not go back or give taking him back a second thought. I do not believe cheating is acceptable. If he is cheating with someone that he has before with , then there is something drawing him back to that relationship whether it be the thrill, drugs, sex or perhaps even love. One woman that he keeps going back to.... Look in the Mirror , tell yourself you will NOT be second choice! Dry your tears , and smile thru the pain. Seeing that you CAN move on without him, you CAN live without him might be what your husband needs as an eye opening exp. sometimes it takes that . If you wanna save your Marriage , stand up and be strong ! Demand respect. You just might get him back
just the 411

Campobello, SC

#12 Feb 25, 2013
Fed Up, thank you from the bottom of my heart for your kind words. I only wish that I could be half as strong as you, and I used to be. But 2 broken marriages and oh, 15 yrs. later, it's not so easy. I am so weak minded right now, I have so many problems besides this...financial, work worries, recent unexpected expenses, health problems, need home repairs, etc. I just cannott handle this right now, well theres never a good time. I just feel like I'm gonna break into. I am so lost and I dont have much family left and no one really to lean on. They say the Lord doesnt put more on you than you can bear, well he must think I'm the 20 mule Borax team. My life is and has been the Jerry Springer show from helll! I just cannot take this! I am sooo worn out and dont know where to turn... I just wish I could run away and never look back, but of course thats not an option at the moment. I cant believe I thought it was over just because we all found out! Looking back, that was really stupid! I just thought her husband threatening divorce and me finding out and we all confronting each other that that was the end of it. No, its NOTTT acceptable and once you lose trust, you are always a detective and 2nd guessing everything. Shewww.... Fed Up Im so glad you are brave. I used to be like you but I have been drug thru the mud for so long I just dont know how to get my life back!
just the 411

Campobello, SC

#13 Feb 25, 2013
And Disagree, I'm so glad you all worked thru your problems, but he likes it the way it is, the best of both worlds, and he does nothing but lies and denies when I have proof positive that it is all true!! It is a pathetic situation!
Fed Up

Norton, VA

#14 Feb 25, 2013
411, you have to find strength somewhere. Or as i do sometimes I Fake it . But, as much as i wan't my life back, I wan't my pride, dignity more. Someone told me when this started " You have to love yourself , before anyone can love you" . I found strength in that statement. I promised myself that I would live by that rule. As " silly" as it sounds. I went to the salon, got my hair cut and colored. Started doing things for myself. And it did and still does make me feel better. Oh and he noticed. Started asking me who I was seeing . Lol and it wasn't that at all . But seeing him jealous for once felt good. Im keeping you in my every thought.
just the 411

Duluth, GA

#15 Feb 25, 2013
A million thanks for your kind thoughts and words of wisdom. I am so thankful that you are on the mend. I just think, not once but twice, over the same thing??? Why me Lord why me? Havent I suffered enough from the first time around, Im still not really healed from that one, let alone take it on again!
melvin

United States

#16 Feb 25, 2013
Fed UP wrote:
Melvin, you are not to blame. The questions in my head , the crying, wondering , its all gone. Laying next to him at night and not knowing where and who he had been with that day. It hurt. Yes. But the year of lies, smell of perfume, wandering if he loved me every day hurt more . No , it wasn't going to be the last time, he told her over and over how much he loved her. Thing about it was, left on time , came home on time that day. Somehow he found a full 47 mins to have sex with this woman in our truck! The GPS is just an extra toy i have now Melvin. Lol . Im glad that i know, truthfully i always knew. Got to say he lied to me so much, i think he believed his own lies. I believed him, i really believed these people were just out to break up our marriage. I should have followed my god- given instinct and left a year ago, but. Now i know. I don't blame myself, i don't even blame her. He is the only one to blame. He is the one who stood before God and took those Vows to me. Not her. Im glad I know. Now he is sleeping on his Mother's couch. Im warm and cozy in our home.Soon to be my own. He can have her , she can have him. A year from now when he is cheating on her. I will laugh.
I just know how it feels. I really admire your attitude but try-as-I-might I have not been easy on myself after...two divorces. Each marriage lasted over a decade and now, in my 40's I am terrified of a relationship. As "crazy" as it sounds I cannot be sexual with a girl I barely know...I don't want to be "looking" for someone...it seems so insane at my age.

But it is different for women. They don't have to "look" for someone, they just wait. It IS different in every situation. I told you how to do that because I have caught more than one cheater that way, always by request of the injured party. Like you said, they...and you knew already. PROVING it was the hard part. Without PROOF there is always that tiny, tiny chance that we are wrong. How great I was lying to myself in my first marriage. Back then I used cassettes...technology marches on...

Thanks for not feeling a bit of anger towards me. I would kind of understand but your letter tells me you KNOW how to handle it, it will be hard sometimes but you know the truth, you are a person who keeps promises and has control over their base instincts and HE DOES NOT. I hope you guys have a house you own because that will be yours...your lawyer will say," that's not really true" but it will work out so.

I know. I wonder sometimes if I shouldn't just find a woman that hates me at first sight, give her a car and a house and be finished with it all.
doyles bike
#17 Feb 25, 2013
just the 411 wrote:
Oh honey, bless your heart that you have that broken record forever playing in your head! And breaking up your family, kids, and life for what? A few minutes of pleasure with some old pill ho? I sure hope it was some good stuff! Well, I got my current phone info. today, and only 7,200 texts this month. He's falling down on the job! lol
Now, mind you, not all those texts are to her, some are actually to me (lol) and a few other people, but 95 percent are to her! Well, today I noticed that I can actually see that she sent him some pictures! Boy, I bet I would love to see those...not!! But, I bet her hubby might be interested! Well, but then again on second thought, I already showed him some texts and pics of his lovely wife and he was supposed to be filing for divorce last year, but she's still sitting right there! If he wants to put up with that, he can be stupid, but I'm tired of it myself! I have known about it for months, and I accuse and he denies, just like you did, Fed Up! And we've both known the whole time it never stopped!
They talk all day long! She needs to be laid off from her job is all I can say, because she is definitely not getting any work done. It's a full time job for her talking to my hubby!
Well, I am gonna bust them wide open as soon as I see what the texts say! It will probably be sickening! I'm sure the words will be forever burned into my brain just like your tape is! I've already heard they were planning to bump me off for the insurance policy!
Well, Fed Up, keep in touch girl, and know that you are being prayed for and thought of. I will be there with you soon enough! I am just numb right now. I know it's gonna hit he fan! It was hard going through it the first time, and now to have to do it again.... Oh, oh, and I forgot to tell you that when I first met her, she was trying to befriend me, texting and Facebooking me, and here's the best part, invited us to go to church with her and her husband! I tell you what, that is the lowest you can go, burn in hell, b*tch!!! Trying to use church to screw my husband is the lowest form of life!!! I just feel numb. Nobody has ever really loved me, and I am going to end up alone with not one, but 2 failed marriages! I will neverrr date again, I am so done! Thanks for your support Melvin!
well being like that u will never find the right one
Fed Up

Norton, VA

#18 Feb 25, 2013
Melvin, I do have hope that there are still good men out there, reading your forum it seems that there are. I think you should have hope there are good women out there as well. I think that everything happens for a reason, and maybe . Just maybe the next man in my life will appreciate me. If prince charming never comes along im ok with that too. But, we learn through each experience and we teach people how to treat us. Going into any relationship in the future, i will def set the ground work differently. I will give respect in order to get it. I will trust my instints. I will not allow someone to treat me in such a way ever again. Im so glad that everyone has kept this topic to being civil and giving advice. We can all be there for each other
Disagree

Roanoke, VA

#19 Feb 25, 2013
If you have caught them twice within a year then I believe that unless a major spiritual awakening happens within your hubby's heart then divorce appears to be the only option. My husband never told the other woman he loved her, he was also an alcoholic which leads to horrible choices (although our choices are our own with or without outside influences) once I found out about the affair/ pregnancy it was over for him. In fact there is no contact between them even now, all messages pertaining to the child goes thru me. We do have to talk/see and be civil to one another for the child's sake & even though the pain of her conception is still very real the child herself is one of the greatest Blessings ever! I love her as if she were my own..

I think we are all human, probe to mistakes & bad choices and unfortunately sex is viewed as the "thing" that everyone does when in fact it is to be a sacred precious thing between a husband and a wife. I believe a lot of infidelity comes down to society and the way we view marriage now days no one seems to take vows seriously anymore, These are only MY opinions.

I wish you all the best and you are in my Prayers, God Bless you all!
Disagree

Roanoke, VA

#20 Feb 25, 2013
That was suppose to say prone to mistakes not probe

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