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1 - 20 of 33 Comments Last updated Dec 25, 2012
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blankgirl

Portsmouth, OH

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#1
Dec 20, 2012
 
I need a good laugh.
john smoot

Amanda, OH

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#2
Dec 20, 2012
 
yeah most people think im a joke
lol

Portsmouth, OH

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#3
Dec 20, 2012
 

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Jesus is watching you

One night a burglar is trying to break into a house. He's sneaking across the lawn when he hears a voice - "Jesus is watching you!" He jumps, turns around, but he doesn't see anything. So he starts creeping across the lawn again. "Jesus is watching you!" He hears it again. So now the burglar is really looking around, and he sees a parrot in a cage by the side of the house. He says to the parrot, "Did you say that?" The parrot answers "Yes I did." So the burglar asks, "What's your name?" The parrot says "Clarence." The burglar says "What kind of stupid idiot would name his parrot Clarence?" The parrot laughs and says, "The same stupid idiot that named his Rottweiler 'Jesus' "
hummm

Portsmouth, OH

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#4
Dec 20, 2012
 

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A group of blondes walk into a bar. One of the women tells the bartender to line up a row of drinks for all of them. The gals lift their glasses and toast, "Here's to 51 days!" and they proceed to down their drinks. Once again, they tell the bartender to "line 'em up", and once again they toast 51 days and down their drinks. The bartender says, "I don't get it. Why in the world are you toasting 51 days?" One of the blondes explains, "We just finished a jigsaw puzzle!!!! It had written on the box '2-4 years,' but we finished it in 51 days!!!!"
gary

Lucasville, OH

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#5
Dec 21, 2012
 

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i man was at heavens gate, when saint peter told him he was not due yet? he asked what happened? in reply, the man told saint peter that he had suspected his wife of having an affair, and had went home early from work to catch her? after serching the up stairs apartment, he sees a man running under his balcony wrapped in a towel, the fridge is right there ,so he picks it up and throws it over the side. he said he must have had a heart attach and here i am? saint peter told him to sit down while he tried to figure this out, and another man came up,in a towel ? saint peter looked at the man and told him he also was not due, and asked what happened? the man said he had been taking a shower when he looked out the window and saw a fire across the way from him, so he grabbed a towel and ran out the door to see if he could help? as he was running, this fridge dropped on him and here i am? so saint peter tells this man to also have a seat. while trying to figure this out, a 3rd man walks up, completely naked? and again saint peter reliezes he is to early, and ask what happened to him? the man looks up and says, you arent going to believe this, but i was just sitting in this refrigerator minding my own business when????
Bubba

Portsmouth, OH

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#6
Dec 21, 2012
 

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A dog walks in a salon with a bandage on his foot. He looks all around and says: "I'm lookin for the man that shot my paw"!!!!!!
blankgirl

Portsmouth, OH

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#7
Dec 21, 2012
 
You know that blanking causes blindness ???Thats why Gary can't see...
Yeah

Portsmouth, OH

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#8
Dec 21, 2012
 
Veronica and Chris Nuckols
THE REAL VERONICA

Bellevue, WA

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#9
Dec 21, 2012
 
Yeah wrote:
Veronica and Chris Nuckols
they funny thing is that ur obsessed with us :)
aLLiPoSTisCraP

Portsmouth, OH

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#11
Dec 21, 2012
 
blankgirl wrote:
I need a good laugh.
Look in the mirror.
hahaha

Portsmouth, OH

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#12
Dec 21, 2012
 

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"Dear," asked a wife. "What would you do if I died?"

"Why dear, I would be extremely upset," said the husband. "Why do you ask such a question?"

"Would you remarry?" persevered the wife.

"No, of course not, dear" said the husband.

"Don't you like being married?" asked the wife.

"Of course I do, dear" he said.

"Then why wouldn't you remarry?"

"All right," said the husband, "I'd remarry."

"You would?" said the wife, looking vaguely hurt.

"Yes," said the husband.

"Would you sleep with her in our bed?" asked the wife.

After a long pause. "Well, yes, I suppose I would," replied the husband.

"I see," said the wife indignantly. "And would you let her wear my old clothes?"

"I suppose, if she wanted to," said the husband.

"Really," said the wife icily. "And would you take down the pictures of me and replace them with pictures of her?"

"Yes. I think that would be the correct thing to do."

"Is that so?" said the wife, leaping to her feet. "And I suppose you'd let her play with my golf clubs, too!?"

"Of course not, dear," said the husband. "She's left-handed."
blankgirl

Portsmouth, OH

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#13
Dec 21, 2012
 
aLLiPoSTisCraP wrote:
<quoted text>
Look in the mirror.
can't see im blind from blanking...
THE REAL VERONICA

Bellevue, WA

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#14
Dec 21, 2012
 

Judged:

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1

1

There was 2 Ohio men and 1 kentucky all in the desert ,they came across a jeanie lamp,so they each got one wish the first ohio man wished for a gallon of water cause he was thirsty ,the second ohio man asked for a plate of food cause he was hungry, then the kentucky man asked for a car door,the jeanie asked the kentucky man why he wanted a car door when he dont got no car, the kentucky man said so i can roll down the window when it gets hot......
Bubba

Portsmouth, OH

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#15
Dec 21, 2012
 

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A man in a rest room taking a leak has a tatoo on his slong that read "SHORTY", a fellow in the urinal beside him looks over at him and said that tatoo is pretty clever. He asked, why shorty???

The man with the tatoo said, well actually when it gets hard it says SHORTY'S TRUCK STOP CHATTANOOGA, TENNESSEE!
ha ha

Portsmouth, OH

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#16
Dec 21, 2012
 

Judged:

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If a firefighters business can go up in smoke, and a plumbers business can go down the drain, can a hooker get layed off?
ha ha

Portsmouth, OH

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#17
Dec 21, 2012
 

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How did Burger King get Diary Queen Pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his whopper.
Chris

Portsmouth, OH

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#18
Dec 21, 2012
 
Veronica's butt is so big, she got stopped at the airport for having 200 pounds of crack!
LOL

United States

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#19
Dec 21, 2012
 
Your Mom!
LOL
omg

Portsmouth, OH

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#20
Dec 21, 2012
 
Chris wrote:
Veronica's butt is so big, she got stopped at the airport for having 200 pounds of crack!
Now that was funny!
gary

Lucasville, OH

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#21
Dec 22, 2012
 
blankgirl wrote:
You know that blanking causes blindness ???Thats why Gary can't see...
i can see though you, but cant understand why my blankin arm is bigger than my other one? lol

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