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spoiledmom1971

Bluffton, SC

#1 Sep 9, 2006
why do dead beat parents refuse to support their children, one in particular who lives on Nort Main Street( you know who you are) I am a single mother who moved away from Port Deposit and this person refuses to support his 9 year old son. Why are there so many worthless fathers?
Cocerned Parent

Bronx, NY

#2 Sep 11, 2006
I believe that there is no such thing as a "Worthless Mom or Dad", but Mom and Dads of circumstance. Parents that have very limited opportunities for one reason or another doesn't have too many options. At times the options are to either survive or just give-up. If this person that you are referring to has a job, there are many actions you can seek to recover support that is due to you. Litigation, Garnishment just to mention a few. Not knowing all the particulars, if you are not allowing the parent to be with his son, then you give up all rights to support.
concerned parent

Bluffton, SC

#3 Sep 11, 2006
I am not stopping him from being with his dad, but because of circumstances which he has put my son through his visitations are in the state of south carolina which is where i live. he has not made any effort what so ever to come here from maryland to see him. also, i am having the department of child support take all enforcement against him, but at the same time he is working under the table so he will have the irs to answer for that. if a parent does not willingly pay to support their children and you have to constantly argue with him(or her) because of it....THEN YES THEY ARE WORTHLESS i have asked him to sign all of his rights over, because my child really doen't know him. i also explained i would contact child support to have it canceled, but he refuses to do so. He is worthless, not having anything to do with his child.
momof2

King Of Prussia, PA

#4 Apr 29, 2007
Let's just clarify one thing, men are not the only deadbeat losers. There are women who pull the same stuff. My daughters dad is a deadbeat, he is a licensed electrician but quit his job almost four years ago to avoid paying $40.00 more a week in child support (he was only paying $50.00 a week to start with). I know he works under the table, but I have no way of proving it. My daughter hasn't seen or spoken to her her dad in SEVEN YEARS, by HIS CHOICE. She is 14 and has only been around him for a total of six months her entire life. He married a woman when I was three months pregnant who had three kids...but wanted nothing to do with his only flesh and blood child. He can't even have any kids of his own with this woman, she is 20 years older than us and can't have more children. Oh and did I mention her oldest kid is only TWO years younger than me and him? BLAH! He even had the nerve to get his wife to tell me he was to young to be a father to my child, we were both 18 at the time. So I just sit back, let him get in arrears and watch the fine state of Arkansas revoke his electricians license, drivers license and car tags...hell that is all I can do.
IDBD

Austin, TX

#5 May 14, 2007
Report dead beat parents free! New support forum allows users and visitors to report non-paying parent information in child support cases. This resource will assist users to circulate and collect information about a dead beat parent's location and financial information which will be used to aid in the collection of past due child support.

VISIT http://www.idbd.info IDBD- Internation Dead Beat Database for more information!
MOM of 1

AOL

#6 May 23, 2007
I have a 9 year old son, his father is worthless. He lies on me and takes me to court to say I don't let him see his son.
All because I won't drop child support.
This man had rights to see his son until
the courts just 2 months ago took them from him because he lied in court about me. He took me to court for contempt(about 5 times) when he was the one not picking my son up from school. I like to know how I was dening his rights when I sent papers to my son's school from the courts and I am at work when my son gets out of school. So who is lieing HIM.
When a man lies so much in court he will get caught.
MOM of 1

AOL

#7 May 23, 2007
concerned parent wrote:
I am not stopping him from being with his dad, but because of circumstances which he has put my son through his visitations are in the state of south carolina which is where i live. he has not made any effort what so ever to come here from maryland to see him. also, i am having the department of child support take all enforcement against him, but at the same time he is working under the table so he will have the irs to answer for that. if a parent does not willingly pay to support their children and you have to constantly argue with him(or her) because of it....THEN YES THEY ARE WORTHLESS i have asked him to sign all of his rights over, because my child really doen't know him. i also explained i would contact child support to have it canceled, but he refuses to do so. He is worthless, not having anything to do with his child.
You know in the state of MD if you fill contemped on him and he dosn't show up in court they will revoke his visits from him. But He has to be served with papers. Good Luck I know how you feel.
single father of 2

United States

#8 Jun 28, 2007
Single father of 2 wonderful children, and BTW the custodial parent of both...not every deadbeat is a man...my exwife has 4 children and custody of 0, she does not pay child support, and can talk her way out of anything...I witnessed her convince a judge that she joined the military and could not go to trial for criminal acts even though it was an open and shut case...does not pay child support, but will file to get a reduction, and the courts will honor it...wrote the court, and said she could not find work, after quitting her job, there were 130 ads for work in the paper that same day...there is a terrible worker shortage where I live...does not pay the 1st husband either, would not let me when we were married...
mom724

Greenville, NC

#9 Jul 23, 2007
Well I am a mother of a 7month old and a stepmother of a 4yearold.My husband and I have had joint custody with my stepdaughters mother since she was 14months old. I have had my stepdaughter more in the past three years than her mother I am the one who takes her to the doctor etc. and I am upset at the crap her mother pulls. Just recently my stepdaughter was hospitalized with pnemoina and she had only been with her mother for 4 days. Anyway I was in TX when the whole thing happened so I drove 8 hours to go home. Anyway my mother had to be back to work so I left to go back to TX. My stepdaughters mother(I figured she could handle It) not the case. Anyway I being a nurse asked her what meds she was on and she couldn't tell me, so I called the doctor and asked some questions I got a phone call from her mom saying that I was a bitch and I shouldn't go behind her back. That pissed me off and then she tells me not to worry about her she's on her dads insurance, I then told her when we got married whats his is mine. anyway long story cut short, I have my stepdaughter more than she does but we still pay her full child support thats bull.
Momof2

Sacramento, CA

#10 Aug 29, 2007
I am a single mother of a 21 month old and a 8 year old. Both of their fathers are dead beats. The 8 year olds fathers has not seen him or paid support since he was 6 months old and the state of MD have not done anything about it and have ended up canceling the child support order. The 21 month olds dad thinks that spending time with his girlfriend and her kids is more important than spending it with his own kids (which he has a total of 4). He thinks he shouldnt have to pay child support for his daughter. This is just wrong and parents should take responsibilities for their children no matter if its the mother or father.
singlemomtx

Dallas, TX

#11 Sep 7, 2007
I am the single mother of a 17 month old. I am also 37 weeks pregnant. I have two older children with my ex-husband, but it is the father of the babies that is a complete deadbeat. He walked out on me 10 weeks ago (actually ran out the back door without saying a word, leaving my toddler to wander the house). I have heard he went back to his ex who he has 3 daughters with. He has not tried to see his son or paid me any support since he left. I am going to have his daughter any day. He also walked out on me when I was pregnant with our son, but came back right before time to have him. He never worked when he was with me, just sucked me dry financially and emotionally for a year and a half. He has been working every day since he left. He and his ex have bought a nice shed, put a fountain and a pond in their backyard. How nice! My family had to buy me diapers and a carseat because I am so strapped paying all the bills and daycare with no help. He is a loser. I am sad that my son does not have a father who cares enough to see or support him, but try to just stay strong and remember that someday he will have to face himself for this and that will be more horrible than any punishment I could try to impose on him.
Singlemom-Englan d-UK

UK

#12 Sep 27, 2007
i'm single mama to a 13mnth old boy. His father quit on me when he was 2mnths old, he would jst get into an argument with me, hit me then left. Would call back and promise never to do that again,of coz you guessed it right,that wasnt the last day, mind everytime he walked out he wouldnt help financially or otherwise, when my son was 10mnths old he hit me while i had him in my hands and that was the final bell for me i left him, we then made arrangements for him to pick him up every saturday at 9 and this he never honoured instead he would demand to see him at 2pm and bring him back 2hrs later, totally denying me the chance to have a life..when he realised i wouldnt take him back he then txtd a message saying he couldnt be the father needed and he even said he knew i would cope.. i went back to work and he refused to help with child care and support but a month later he is saying he is taking me to court for visitation rights.. where do i stand in all this? whats a woman to do..He claims he doesnt want to see me when he picks up his son, i then offered to drop him off at a friend's house to avoid us seeing each other, yes that again he refused. where am i going wrong here good people ?? Is this someone whos bitter or am i losing it somewhere? This man was violent towards me, wont pay child support and claims i refuse him the right to see his son. I welcome any advize. I'm due in court in two weeks time.
northeast mom

Hermitage, TN

#13 Oct 5, 2008
i have a child with a dead beat .he has never paid.thec court never collects. so i don't let him see my child. my child does't know him,because there are things going on when they don't want to help with the kids.
im black and beautiful

Mississauga, Canada

#14 Oct 23, 2008
i agree...its hard now adays to find a good man who can potentially be a good partner to spend the rest of ur life with and father. im 15 years old and have never had any relationship with my father except this one time he came to see me but ended up watching a football game and then sleeping with my mom the same night...mind u they r split up.... neway, my FATHER has probably donated 200 dollars to me my whole life... he left my mom to raise me all by herself when i was about 2... yeah black men r worthless basically...o nd he has 5 other kids...i dont know any of them... my mom hasnt even bothered getting child support so basically my lifes fucked up.. i hate men
cecil co girl

Dickson, TN

#15 Nov 22, 2008
will tayor,havre de grace
cecil co girl

Dickson, TN

#16 Nov 22, 2008
taylor
MD girl

Elkton, MD

#17 Dec 7, 2008
Before I say this, please let me be clear, I'm not judging, just trying to understand better. I have kids of my own who have a wonderful father so I can't even begin to imagine how difficult it must be without that support system.

My question is - did these parents show those loser type traits ahead of time, before the child was conceived? I have a friend who has a child with a deadbeat dad and looking back, she now knows the writing was on the wall from the beginning and she just chose to ignore them because she was in love. What upsets me is that she didn't seem to learn from this and is dating another loser guy now. I wish she would learn that she is beautiful and deserves a guy who will treat her right before she ends up with a second baby with a worthless dad.

Singlemom-Englan d-UK - you are better off without that guy and so is your child. That's the last role model you need for son.

Since: Sep 08

Fort Huachuca, AZ

#18 Dec 9, 2008
single father of 2 wrote:
Single father of 2 wonderful children, and BTW the custodial parent of both...not every deadbeat is a man...my exwife has 4 children and custody of 0, she does not pay child support, and can talk her way out of anything...I witnessed her convince a judge that she joined the military and could not go to trial for criminal acts even though it was an open and shut case...does not pay child support, but will file to get a reduction, and the courts will honor it...wrote the court, and said she could not find work, after quitting her job, there were 130 ads for work in the paper that same day...there is a terrible worker shortage where I live...does not pay the 1st husband either, would not let me when we were married...
I hear you I am a single mom of three with little to no help. I agree not all men are bad there are just as many dead beat moms out there i see it all the time. I give you a lot of credit for doing what most (men and women) will not. I know it is not easy but in the end it is you that can sleep at night. I have a lot of respect for you.
Mom of 5

Wilmington, DE

#19 Dec 11, 2008
Not all men are dead beats. My husband has 2 children from a previous marriage and he has had fully custody of them and raised them by himself till we got together. I have 2 children from a previous relationship and was raising them with no help till we were together also. That was one of the things that started us talking. Anyway now we have 5 beautiful wonderful children and we are doing it all with out help from the oldest 4's biological mother or biological father. Because Mom and Dad are the one's that are there when the kids are sick, want held, have a nightmare or need something and that is what we are to each other's kids. Not to mention the one that we have together. It is so much easier in so many ways when you have someone there to help you.
Stevas

Finksburg, MD

#20 Dec 13, 2008
concerned parent wrote:
I am not stopping him from being with his dad, but because of circumstances which he has put my son through his visitations are in the state of south carolina which is where i live. he has not made any effort what so ever to come here from maryland to see him. also, i am having the department of child support take all enforcement against him, but at the same time he is working under the table so he will have the irs to answer for that. if a parent does not willingly pay to support their children and you have to constantly argue with him(or her) because of it....THEN YES THEY ARE WORTHLESS i have asked him to sign all of his rights over, because my child really doen't know him. i also explained i would contact child support to have it canceled, but he refuses to do so. He is worthless, not having anything to do with his child.
People are not worthless solely because of their actions involving a child. A grave mistake yes, but if someone were to call me worthless becuase I wasn't there for my child (I don't have one fyi), I would be extremely insulted.

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