The fat one asked, "Hey Pete, you don't look so good, are you getting enough to eat?"
The other replied, "I don't understand it Joe, I catch plenty of Mormons, but I just can't seem to gain any weight."
"Well, let me watch you in action, maybe you're not doing it right."
So they went to Pete's favorite spot where he awaited an approaching Mormon. As he came near, Pete sprang at him from a big boulder with a horrifying roar and quickly devoured him.
Then Joe said to him, "I see your problem, Pete, you're scarring them too much. When you scare the crap out of a Mormon, there's not much left!"