New Details Revealed in Rutgers Webca...

New Details Revealed in Rutgers Webcam Suicide Case

There are 87 comments on the www.nj.com story from Aug 12, 2011, titled New Details Revealed in Rutgers Webcam Suicide Case. In it, www.nj.com reports that:

In the weeks before his suicide last year, Rutgers University freshman Tyler Clementi confided to a friend that he had met a 25-year-old man he wanted to bring back to his dorm room.

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“I call it as I see it.”

Since: Jul 09

Retirement City

#83 Sep 19, 2011
Coy91 wrote:
<quoted text>
I was simply saying.
<quoted text>
I came to this thread through the Gay/Lesbian forum.
***** By the way, I thought of the perfect scenario to demonstrate the point I was making earlier about hate crimes if you're still interested. It's based on two real cases. I can prove it to you, definitively, that it's about motive and not the victims.
We have worn that discussion out and could continue butting heads at cross purposes over our respective positions on it without anybody being able to claim victory.

“I call it as I see it.”

Since: Jul 09

Retirement City

#84 Sep 19, 2011
Purple Gurl wrote:
<quoted text>
Actually, read under the thread list at the bottom where it says:
Related Topix Forums: Gay/Lesbian, Social Software, Rutgers University
It is cross-posted in all those forums. Or more accurately, this board is shared with those forums. I hate when they do this at times because each forum has its own culture and this causes a culture clash. If they game in from Gay/Les, they should see Offbeat and the other 2 places listed.
I do question whether it belongs in the Offbeat forum. I feel that Offbeat should be just that, in other words, wacky, wild, and enjoyable. Serious subjects like this should be discussed in a more appropriate venue.

“Purple girl in a purple world”

Since: Apr 08

Plum, Purplonia

#85 Sep 19, 2011
flbadcatowner wrote:
<quoted text>I do question whether it belongs in the Offbeat forum. I feel that Offbeat should be just that, in other words, wacky, wild, and enjoyable. Serious subjects like this should be discussed in a more appropriate venue.
I tend to agree. The threads get misplaced or wrongly cross-posted at times. What gets me are the WCCO stories with the headline news.(Stuff like "Stabbing Victim Dies," "Police Catch Robbery Suspect.") Somehow all the Minneapolis news ends up in Offbeat.

“I call it as I see it.”

Since: Jul 09

Retirement City

#86 Sep 19, 2011
Purple Gurl wrote:
<quoted text>
I try to keep to the middle road on gay rights and stay out of them. Instead, I support true-TS women who are not LGBT members nor consider themselves transgender in any way - just mainstream, traditional women with a correctable medical condition, and trying to get them a community specific to them that is not connected to LGBT nor TG stuff in any way. Compared to the US, even Iran is better about TS rights and protecting their right to be lumped in with other women and not lumped in with gays.
I would rather stay neutral on gay rights, neither support nor bash, but the world is too polarized these days. We both saw how easy it is to become polarized and take sides in general. That is good during a football game, but not through much of life.
Thank you for clearing things up with your positions. I also am glad to see our hostilities come to an end. I don't want to be angry with you or anybody else. While you don't don't necessarily have to like me, I do hope we can at least have some respect for each other and treat each other accordingly.

“Purple girl in a purple world”

Since: Apr 08

Plum, Purplonia

#87 Sep 20, 2011
flbadcatowner wrote:
<quoted text>Thank you for clearing things up with your positions. I also am glad to see our hostilities come to an end. I don't want to be angry with you or anybody else. While you don't don't necessarily have to like me, I do hope we can at least have some respect for each other and treat each other accordingly.
I'm not sure why anyone thought I was particularly pro-gay to begin with. It is very hard to stay on the fence on some things, but that is an issue I'd rather stay balanced and objective on - though I fail at it. It has become too emotional and divided for the strongest of the gay opponents and supporters, and they are all just as wrong - only their position is different. So for many, polarized thinking sets in, and when they encounter someone in the middle, they accuse them of being on the other side, when to that person, there are no sides.

I guess hostilities is a fair word to use, and I agree with your sentiment. While our respect had crumbled, that wasn't really the issue at the onset. I just cannot stand it when people who act like or claim to be my friends try to enter into my conflicts with other people. I believe in living as an island to oneself to the extent practical for that person. So the only ones who I see should take notice of my conflicts with others is me and that person. Nobody should be forced to like anyone, and how I treat some other person who has not ties to you really has no bearing on you. Sure, in light of things like the story, nobody should turn a blind eye nor let one person bully another. But 2 equally matched people sparring it out, I don't see the harm in that. Maybe the place or thread in some of the other conflicts was the problem, but again, determining what goes on in threads is more of Topix's problem, not ours.

Maybe when you saw something go on that concerned you, you could have taken it to private mail then and worded it as concern and maybe inquired about why I said what I did. But you did what you thought was honorable at the time and I took it for meddling or trying to control/parent me, and I took it out on you. I was hurt. I major on personal responsibility and owning our own emotions, but I failed in that particular instance.

I know the above is not really on topic, but it had to be said somewhere. Still, it ties in, because we don't know the power of our own words/deeds at times. I have the impression that there was some time delay from the time our victim discovered the news until the time he took his life. Just think if within that window of opportunity there were a few kind words said, an apology, an admission, a card, a bouquet, a visit from a handful of supportive people. It could have possibly mitigated things somewhat and might have prevented a tragedy. We don't know since such acts of kindness or responsibility were not done. Plus, the way the human mind is wired to focus on the bad and discount the good, I would assume a minimum of 3 people would have been necessary to overcome the emotions and negativity.

“I call it as I see it.”

Since: Jul 09

Retirement City

#88 Sep 20, 2011
Purple Gurl wrote:
<quoted text>
I'm not sure why anyone thought I was particularly pro-gay to begin with. It is very hard to stay on the fence on some things, but that is an issue I'd rather stay balanced and objective on - though I fail at it. It has become too emotional and divided for the strongest of the gay opponents and supporters, and they are all just as wrong - only their position is different. So for many, polarized thinking sets in, and when they encounter someone in the middle, they accuse them of being on the other side, when to that person, there are no sides.
I guess hostilities is a fair word to use, and I agree with your sentiment. While our respect had crumbled, that wasn't really the issue at the onset. I just cannot stand it when people who act like or claim to be my friends try to enter into my conflicts with other people. I believe in living as an island to oneself to the extent practical for that person. So the only ones who I see should take notice of my conflicts with others is me and that person. Nobody should be forced to like anyone, and how I treat some other person who has not ties to you really has no bearing on you. Sure, in light of things like the story, nobody should turn a blind eye nor let one person bully another. But 2 equally matched people sparring it out, I don't see the harm in that. Maybe the place or thread in some of the other conflicts was the problem, but again, determining what goes on in threads is more of Topix's problem, not ours.
Maybe when you saw something go on that concerned you, you could have taken it to private mail then and worded it as concern and maybe inquired about why I said what I did. But you did what you thought was honorable at the time and I took it for meddling or trying to control/parent me, and I took it out on you. I was hurt. I major on personal responsibility and owning our own emotions, but I failed in that particular instance.
I know the above is not really on topic, but it had to be said somewhere. Still, it ties in, because we don't know the power of our own words/deeds at times. I have the impression that there was some time delay from the time our victim discovered the news until the time he took his life. Just think if within that window of opportunity there were a few kind words said, an apology, an admission, a card, a bouquet, a visit from a handful of supportive people. It could have possibly mitigated things somewhat and might have prevented a tragedy. We don't know since such acts of kindness or responsibility were not done. Plus, the way the human mind is wired to focus on the bad and discount the good, I would assume a minimum of 3 people would have been necessary to overcome the emotions and negativity.
I got the impression that you thought gays should not be mistreated which led me to believe that you were at least somewhat sympathetic to their causes.
Jipper

Medford, NY

#89 Sep 20, 2011
Daniel Tosh wrote:
If anyone needs a Web Redemption it's him....
Na na na boo boo, stick your head in poo poo......

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