Rebecca

Cicero, IL

#124 Nov 13, 2007
lori wrote:
well it's been a few days since i wrote yes my daughter did move very close to us and yes things are going ok. i have gotten to see her almost every day this week even if it was only for a few minutes. he is treating her better. last night they had me and my husband over for dinner. that was a change maybe they have got their sh*t together. i sure hope so. as for the others mothers i hope things are going as well for you. how are things with you rebecca? this sight has really gotten me through my tough time thanks to all.
My daughter is still at home with us. She is having a hard time though. She sees her domestic violence councelor tomorrow night. I'm hoping they can get through to her. She is still talking to her boyfriend. She is not allowed to talk to him through anything we own- our computer,phones, her sisters cell phones, ect.
My husband caught her talking to him on her cell phone and got angry and she said "But Dad, this is MY cell phone." and he repiled "And this is MY house- my property- I own it, and you are talking to him on property I own." and she said " So I have to LEAVE the house to talk to him on MY cell phone?" and she was all like bent out of shape and he looked at her and said very seriously "Damb straight you do."
So- we are still trying to get it through to her she has to go by our rules. However- I don't want her to be this abusive guy, and half the rules are because of that! For God's sake he was BEATING her up and a cop drove by and arrested him! How stupid is she???????
Hang in there Lori! At least you can stand the sight of your daughters significant other. My husband will kick my daughters boyfrinds a$$ if he ever came within running distance- no kidding. He'd chase him down and pummel him and I'd be bailing him out of jail.
lori

AOL

#125 Nov 14, 2007
well rebecca i'm glad that your daughter is still at home. i just hope that you can get through to her that he is not right for her. my daughter is doing ok for now. as for my husband he tollerates this boy only so we can see my daughter. i wish i knew what makes these good girls like these stupid boys?? well hang in there my thought and prays are with you and your family
lori

AOL

#126 Nov 19, 2007
well thanksgiving is only a few days away and i don't know what to be thankful for. my daughter is still not home. but i do get to see her almost every day. i just wish she would come home i miss her soooo much. to all you teen girls please don't put your mothers through this. talk about how you feel each day.to you teen boys please tell your teen girls to stay living at home until marriage.
lori

AOL

#127 Nov 30, 2007
well it's been awhile since i wrote. how is everyone holding up? my newest drma is they are planning to get married in june. i hope they don't last that long. i hope he is a thing of the past by then. oh well i hope all is well with you rebecca. hang in there in there it has to get better
lori

AOL

#128 Dec 10, 2007
well today was a very bad day for me. my daughters boyfriend took all their money and went and bought a drum set. he don't even know how to play them. so now she have no food no heat and is mad at me for saying it was a stupid move on his part. she took his side and said she does not want to talk to me. they are going to be homeless real soon. i'm soooo worried about her. i hope she smartens up soon before she ends up pregnant. thank all for listening. hope all is well with everyong else
SingleFather- Boston

Boston, MA

#129 Dec 15, 2007
Her birthday November 19, she skips hold school day on her coming up birthday. She didn't tell me where she at. Her birth on Nov. 19, I agve her birthparty, but not all good past friend attented, instead she had new friends, more gaingster type. So the second planed party canceled duee to her skip school.
Today, came home she left note that she want to lives with her old life.
I called police, they came and take notes. That's all police have for now. I am worrying in hell. Could anyone tell me what I need to do. All of her good friend I just talked to, saying that my daughter had not been herself, as good and decent girl they used to be, just recently.
Last week, my 11 year old son, have birth-party at home. When my daughter invited her gaingster friends came to the house was shocked me.
I told her not to hangingout and skip school for that, but she's did not take note. She walked out today- some one must have came to the house pickup her. All the dirty shoes marked on the floor.
What can I do now?
lori

AOL

#130 Dec 17, 2007
i feel for you. is she 18 yet? if not make a police report and if they find her they will bring her home. if she is 18 there is nothing you can do but worry and hope she comes to her senceses. also try to get her help if she comes home. my pyayers are with you and your family
Mary

AOL

#131 Dec 27, 2007
Well, I happened on to these postings through a google search. I found some comfort in reading them...not that I wish anyone pain like this, but the idea that I'm not alone. I have a beautiful, talented senior in high school that has been on a steady decline since last April. It all started with a 21 year old boyfriend (she was still 17 then). I have seen everything from DUI (he was with her, she was driving) car accident, loss of license, contacting a sexually transmitted disease (thankfully she tested negative to HIV), missing school, lying, smoking, drinking, obviously unprotected sex. She quit everything positive at school and never hangs out with her old friends that she has had for many years. Now she is spending more and more nights over at his mothers house and barely coming home. He works part time as a bartender, the parents promote the relationship. I can't sleep at night (it is now 1:00 am) and I am sick with worry. It is like he controls her mind and body. I don't know if I should tell her to move out if she can't follow our rules or let her be there on weekends, time off etc and try to keep her in her home most school days. I do wish all of you better luck in the new year and thanks for sharing.
lori in ri

AOL

#132 Dec 28, 2007
i know what your going through and feel for you. try to just be there for her when she needs you and hope it will all blow over. things do get better. my daughter has been in the same situation now for 7 months and i have grown to accept our time together is golden. it does get better in time you have to beleive. if you need to get something off you mind post it here it helps. good luck
Single Father- Boston

Boston, MA

#133 Dec 28, 2007
I just got phone called from DSS- supervisor stating that my 15 yr old daughter ran away from DSS, again.

I told DSS that she was in the gangster group sale illegal substance, and the gangster is her boy friends who keep her in his house with his parents and his parents did not made any reports, until I sent out message with all community that she is sale illegal substance by for this group of gangster who live in Malden, MA. The DSS did not tell me what’s going on in this matter. Rather encourage the child to lie by showing that they are investigate allege of abused.

But the draw-back was that her boyfriend told her to lie to DSS that she was abused in my house under my care. That is not good for me and my son. The allegation still in the air, the judge so cloudy about this, and give DSS custody of my son as well. That is not good decision for all DSS- who have degree to handle this matter. They are so ignorance than I thought. The entire system just not working, but the governor did not see that.

Tell me what to do?

What about the family that took her in for five days, nights and days? Did the police investigate about this? If the police did they would find all evident in the house that hosted her.

God, come down and see this society. Protect children services/DSS just another agency to eating up Tax payer’s money.

As parent(s), you do not allow to give your child disciplined. What’s good when the child falling through the wrong path while under their custody?

I came from difference country and my parents tell to do something I honor their requests. No authority should taken my parents places, and they don't, they won't interfering parents disciplined the children.
Wendy in TEXAS

AOL

#134 Jan 2, 2008
My 19 year old (this past Nov.) is living with a 22 year old girl now. My daughter moved out 6 months ago after much arguing about what she would/wouldn't be allowed to do. Anyone who has gone through this knows the pain you feel. It starts with NO sleep, plenty of crying, and TONS of worry. Though my daughter is very bright, she is also very "care-free" when it comes to reality. I have fought for at least 4 years to keep her from getting pregnant. Unlike her younger sister, boys have always been a big factor in her life. I won't get into details here, but some would consider her a slut. It makes me very sad to just type that. Anyway, she now is over 10,000.00 in debt and has ruined her credit. She works as a waitress and spends her extra time partying with the older crowd. She blames ME for her moving out and only calls when she needs something. I have asked her to come home and get things back on track. She laughed and said "that's not going to happen". I finally told her not to call unless she is ready to face up to why she really moved out and quit blaming me. I told her, again, that "I will always lover her but I don't like what she is doing right now".She lies about EVERYTHING and has for a long time. This is a very sad time for my family. I only hope someday we will be whole again.
lori in ri

AOL

#135 Jan 2, 2008
it will get better just let time pass and be there for her when she needs you. i know i'm 7 months into almost the same situation except mine has a boyfriend from hel-
KIMP

United States

#136 Feb 6, 2008
My daughter and I have always been very close. I had her when I was 19 and I thought I had taught her how hard it was to be on your own at that age. She left home 1 month after her 18th birthday and is living with her boyfriend, his dad and stepmom ( who are divorced) and they are living a very hard life. No one works and the step dad is presently in jail for atacking her boyfriend (his son). Our family is not perfect but she had a 15,000 scholarship and just quit going to school. She didnt make her 100 a month car payment on the car so we kept it when she left because it is in my husbands name and we didnt trust her or the family she is with to do so. I cannot eat or sleep and cannot think of anything but her safety. My prayers are with you and I know how powerless and scared you feel.
Rebecca

Aurora, IL

#137 Feb 26, 2008
Wendy in TEXAS wrote:
My 19 year old (this past Nov.) is living with a 22 year old girl now. My daughter moved out 6 months ago after much arguing about what she would/wouldn't be allowed to do. Anyone who has gone through this knows the pain you feel. It starts with NO sleep, plenty of crying, and TONS of worry. Though my daughter is very bright, she is also very "care-free" when it comes to reality. I have fought for at least 4 years to keep her from getting pregnant. Unlike her younger sister, boys have always been a big factor in her life. I won't get into details here, but some would consider her a slut. It makes me very sad to just type that. Anyway, she now is over 10,000.00 in debt and has ruined her credit. She works as a waitress and spends her extra time partying with the older crowd. She blames ME for her moving out and only calls when she needs something. I have asked her to come home and get things back on track. She laughed and said "that's not going to happen". I finally told her not to call unless she is ready to face up to why she really moved out and quit blaming me. I told her, again, that "I will always lover her but I don't like what she is doing right now".She lies about EVERYTHING and has for a long time. This is a very sad time for my family. I only hope someday we will be whole again.
My daughter moved out again ( 3rd time ) this weekend. I'm not letting her comeback this time unless she has really changed- and broke up with her loser drug addict, alcoholic, unemplyed boyfriend who hits her. And I mean break up with for good this time- not get back together 100 times or lie to me that they broke up. I told her Sunday morning if she chooses to stay with him, then she is choosing to find somewhere else to live, so she moved out. Yes I cried and yes I am upset, but it's getting old quick- it's been almost 2 years I have put up with her crap. I have 2 other daughters to think about and she needs to make her own mistakes- but I refuse to support her a$$ while she destoys our family.
I am so frustrated with her!!!!!!!
Wendy in TEXAS

AOL

#138 Feb 28, 2008
Time for an update. She's back home (for now). In barely 7 months, she managed to RUIN her wonderful credit, rack up $15,000 in credit card and other debt. I paid all of her cards off...got an "interest free for 12 months" credit card in MY name to allow her the opportunity to pay me "interest free" to get things back on track. She's been back about 2 weeks...lying the whole time. Just discovered today that she's still talking on to the loser boyfriend after I told her that she'd get her cell phone taken away if she did. I'm so frustrated...I cannot believe she is like this. Never imagined one of my daughters would ever turn out like this. I seriously think she needs help (mental) for her lying. Not sure what to do right now.
Rebecca

Aurora, IL

#139 Feb 29, 2008
Wendy in TEXAS wrote:
Time for an update. She's back home (for now). In barely 7 months, she managed to RUIN her wonderful credit, rack up $15,000 in credit card and other debt. I paid all of her cards off...got an "interest free for 12 months" credit card in MY name to allow her the opportunity to pay me "interest free" to get things back on track. She's been back about 2 weeks...lying the whole time. Just discovered today that she's still talking on to the loser boyfriend after I told her that she'd get her cell phone taken away if she did. I'm so frustrated...I cannot believe she is like this. Never imagined one of my daughters would ever turn out like this. I seriously think she needs help (mental) for her lying. Not sure what to do right now.
Wendy,
are you sure we don't have the same daughter??? It sure sounds like it. It helps me to know that I'm not the only one, although it would be nice if everyone's kids turned out perfect lol.
I thought that I would have the opportunity to talk to my daughter because she HAD to speak to me because I had her taxes for her from our accountant. But guess what? She came by the house and had my 15 year old get them for her and left before I knew what happened. Ungratful liitle brat didnt even say hello or thanks mom or anything!!!!
Hang in there. We will get through this.
h latos

AOL

#140 Mar 9, 2008
My 16 year old daughter was always my best friend. We did everything together and I had no problems with her UNTIL..... high school at which point she became an alien child!! The change happend so suddenly that is is almost mind boggling. She got arrested for shoplifting, she is defiant, completely disrespectful and lies constantly. It is as though she is the parent and I am the child. She does not open up about anything just shrugs and walks into her room and locks the door(we recently took the lock off) I sent her off to a wilderness camp for LOTS of money and then made the mistake of putting her back into her same environment. She fell right back into her old patterns. Funny thing is she is in a top notch private school and is a 4.5 honor student so academically I have no problems with her. Rather it is her horrible attitide . It is so bad now that she just says she will move out and she doesn't give a F---- about anything. Recently she met the manager of the pizza shop next to where she works and I now found out that they regularly text and she has been at his apt. and that HE IS 30!!!!!! She is 16!!! She says they are only friends and that he is a great role model. By the way, his arms are completely tatooed and he has a DUI and rumor is that he is a coke user but I believe my daughter is falling in love with him. She really doesn' have much of a father figure so our therapist says she is looking for a male role model. What do you think? Do you think this 30 yr old is texting her and meeting up with her every day has other motives???? Stupid question, huh?
Robin

Happy, TX

#141 Mar 27, 2008
Rebecca wrote:
<quoted text>
Wendy,
are you sure we don't have the same daughter??? It sure sounds like it. It helps me to know that I'm not the only one, although it would be nice if everyone's kids turned out perfect lol.
I thought that I would have the opportunity to talk to my daughter because she HAD to speak to me because I had her taxes for her from our accountant. But guess what? She came by the house and had my 15 year old get them for her and left before I knew what happened. Ungratful liitle brat didnt even say hello or thanks mom or anything!!!!
Hang in there. We will get through this.
Our 18 year old daughter moved out 3 weeks ago with a 24 year old guy we had never even heard of. She has not called and when we found out where she lived and ran into her she refused to speak to us and her boyfriend started taking pictures of us. We feel so used and disrespected she lived a very Privileged life with us with lots of love, I don't understand? I wonder if she feels an ounce of the pain we are feeling? I'm guessing not she just having fun and we are left here to suffer.
distressed

Holland, OH

#142 Mar 27, 2008
I am going through the same with my daughter who just turned 18. I very much dislike her boyfriend he is disrespectful and a loser. She has changed since she has been with him and we argue all the time. They are together all the time and she doesn't even see her friends anymore, whenever i bring this up we argue and she says she loves him and to stop talking bad about him. Everyone sees it but her how he is. I feel he controls her and she sees nothing but his side. We have always been very close but he keeps her from me now. She just turn 18 and informed me she is moving with him in his parents house out of state. I can't stop her and am very upset. I can't believe she is doing this and hope she realizes how he is someday and will come back home. She is leaving next week and I am devistated. she as no interest any more except in him. What should I do?
stressed out mom

Hollywood, FL

#143 Mar 28, 2008
I just came upon this site, and read all of you comments, and I have got to tell ya, I have been going thru this for 2 years. My daughter and I were velcroed together. We did everything together. My house was opened to everyone of her friends, they would come and go and I would greet them with open arms. All of a sudden the last year in high school, she started hanging with different people, and met some guy (dropout, excuse me had to drop out because got caught on school property for selling drugs) and I was a piece of shit. I really didn't think to bad of him at first, but as she started seeing him more and more, she was arguing with me, not seeing her friends, and when he picked her up on for dates, it was either a honk of the horn or a text on the cell phone. He never wanted to come in a sit and visit, as all of her other dates and friends did. Then it was the not coming home and me be up all night waiting for her, and not able to function at work. She would lie and say that she was sleeping over some other girlfriends house. Then it came to that she never came home at all, and she was moving in with the boyfriend and his mom, stepdad and two brothers,(who are also dropouts)and one still in middle school. The mother told me that she didn't want her son leaving home and if that meant that my daughter was moving it then she was going to allow it. I told her that she was enabling them, and they should go out on their own and see what it was like to be a responsible adult. She said no, and called me all sorts of nasty curse words. The boyfriend told me that there was nothing I can do about it. She had her car taken away cause she wasn't keeping up the insurance payments. When we took it we found pot (end of joints) in the car, and we notice that someone kicked in the door of the rear and that the car floow was used as an ashtray. They lived two-three minutes away and we never saw her. She was going to dance clubs and hour away at 1:00 a.m to 5:00 and sleeping all day. They have since lived in trashy trailers, tried the expensive place to with my daughter signing the lease but only to be evicted by the sheriff office. She is in debt of about 15,000.00 and she hasn't paid the IRS.
But not guess what she is pregnant, living back in the boyfriends mom'and dads home with the two brothers, they don't have a job. She lost hers, he refuses to work fulltime, and the mother lost her job (my daughter and her worked together). Mother got caught stealing money. Daughter applied for medicaid and the next week the mother went to apply and this is how they are living.

I have gotten to the point that maybe I am over reacting and its not what I think, and then I come on here and read all your posts. I have changed my mind.

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