I've fallen in love with another woma...

I've fallen in love with another woman and want to leave my loving wife!

Posted in the Pineville Forum

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Norwich, CT

#1 Apr 6, 2009
I know I'll get lambasted for this, but here it is. I've been married for 7 years to a wonderful, sweet woman. I'm 35 and she's 34. We have no kids yet, but were planning to start to try later this summer. She's just finishing up her PhD - I have a professional degree. BUT, I've never been truly happy - we have few common interests: I'm fit and like sports, she's not and doesn't. I like crowds and parties and strangers, she doesn't. I like to smoke grass from time to time, she's never touched the stuff. I cuss, she doesn't. I like good lovin', she can do without - etc., etc. So, 9 weeks ago I start a new job and early on I meet a woman who's got her stuff together. She's 2 years older than me, a divorcee with 3 great boys (11, 10 & 6), and, to make a long story short, we've fallen in love, truly. She lives like 2 minutes from the hosptial so we can go to her house sometimes after work.
She's spent the last year in the gym and looks awesome; athletic & fit, loves to go out, loves sex, is ready to spend the next few decades having fun; summers on motorcycles, winters on skis; her sons are great and I'd enjoy their company. So, the time is fast approaching when I need to make "the decision" - go or stay. I think it will devastate my wife. I guess I can do without having my own kids, and I think that she can too, but who knows. I'm the only man she's even known intimately and loved. She has no idea about any of this.(Oh yeah, I should mention that I have cheated on her twice in the past - both just relatively quick flings.) So the thing is I think I already know the answer. I just want to know if there is any one out there who can shed some light on my situation. Guys: how horrible is it to go back on your heartfelt wedding intentions and destroy a life built together - I don't to be another statistic. Girls: is it as bad as it seems for the husband you think is true to leave you?
bell

Murray, KY

#2 Apr 6, 2009
It's best u get out now!! Abivously u don't luv ur wife.Don't wait til ur wife gets preg.then leave,that would be very devasting!!!U better just know what ur doing 4 sure!It sounds 2 me ur wife could do alot better than u anyways.
Southern Girl

United States

#4 Apr 6, 2009
shi--- happens. Tell her and leave. I think u will find out the grass is not always greener. how will u feel when your wife is in the arms of another.
bell

Murray, KY

#5 Apr 6, 2009
I agree with someonethatknows.I think ur a man that likes 2 have his cake and eat it 2!!Ur gonna end up OLD AND LONELY!
dr love

United States

#6 Apr 6, 2009
Get This,
You asked for it, so here goes. Did you ever hear of the "seven year itch"? First of all you say your wife is a wonderful, loving woman, then you go on to say that after nine weeks of meeting someone else that you're in love with this other woman. I'm not saying it can't be love, but it sounds more like lust. I also couldn't help but notice that you only mentioned the differences you have with your wife, and none of the things you have in common. If you've been together for seven years, with no children, then there had to be something that kept you together.You mentioned all the things that you and "lover girl" have in common, but yet you failed to mention any differences there. Believe me, there will be differences there also, you just haven't been with her long enough to discover them all yet.If you're not happy, theres a great chance that your wife isn't all that happy either. As far as her attitude about the good lovin, she was probably too exhausted from going to school and running a household to be wanting to roll in the hay all the time.I would also bet if you put as much effort into making love with your wife as you do with your girlfriend, that she would enjoy it more and want it more often.Don't forget that your wife knows every yucky thing about you. She has seen you at your very worst, and still accepts you. This may not be true with girlfriend.I think it is crazy that you were planning to start a family with someone that you could just drop like a bad habit. Thank God you didn't have children. Your wife will probably be glad if and when you tell her you're leaving. It could be hurtful at first, but I'm guessing that by now she realizes that you're a total loser anyway!
porkchop

Winchester, KY

#7 Apr 6, 2009
The big question is "Will the new girlfriend love me as much after the old wife has at least half my stuff?
bell

Murray, KY

#8 Apr 6, 2009
Ur funny!
well

Anderson, SC

#9 Apr 6, 2009
i agree with Dr Love completely.
well

Anderson, SC

#10 Apr 6, 2009
if your wife isn't enjoying sex with you, it's because you aren't doing it right! find out just exactly how she likes/wants it, and you'll get layed a hella more often!
bell

Murray, KY

#11 Apr 6, 2009
Or maybe his wife is getting her some on the side also.
dont turn love away

Somerset, KY

#12 Apr 6, 2009
Every one likes a little fun in their life maybe you should find out the woman you are with intrests. If you are all planning on becoming parents than you need to end this relationship with her before it happens. The thoughts of you two not having children and then this other woman already having kids of her own will seem to her that you are wanting to have a family and couldn't wait for her to bare your children. I suggest you make sure that this other woman is willing to be there for you not only now but later in the future as well. The woman you are with now deserves the truth so give it to her. My man likes about the same thing as you do, except the weed part. He likes big crouds, going to the clubs, when I don't. He drinks from time to time, I don't but this is no reason that we should end our relationship. If you are not happy and feel you will never be happy with her than leave her but let her know why, let her know that it isn't completly her fault but only that you both seek different life styles. Before hurting her I would suggest that you talk open mindly to the other woman about everything. Sometimes it works but then sometimes it doesn't, you may just think this woman is all that until one day you realize you have made a mistake and you won't be able to go back and fix it. Looks aren't always a factor when it comes to love. My man is good looking and he is fairly fit. I on the other hand am on the chunky side but he loves me anyway. If one can't find love in one place there is always somewhere else to go. Don't give up something that can be fixed. Good l;uck to you and whom ever you choose.
bell

Murray, KY

#13 Apr 6, 2009
(Dont turn luv away)U said everything in 1.Good job.
Junior

United States

#14 Apr 6, 2009
bell wrote:
Or maybe his wife is getting her some on the side also.
Maybe he could ask his wife's boyfriend how to do it. I bet she has one.
bell

Murray, KY

#15 Apr 6, 2009
Well some men thinks their slick,but their not.Maybe she's tired of being lonely.
itsallgood

Winchester, KY

#16 Apr 6, 2009
Do your wife a favor and leave.
bell

Murray, KY

#17 Apr 6, 2009
Thats what I'm screaming!!!
listen

Lexington, KY

#18 Apr 6, 2009
please just tell her the truth. She is worth that. My husband did me that way and after a month being with the other woman, he wanted me back and he was my first everything and I just couldn't go back. Please make sure that this is what you want and tell her the truth. We were married 10 years.
bell

Murray, KY

#19 Apr 6, 2009
If he don't tell her,I hope she catches him and kicks his ass OUT!!!
dont turn love away

Somerset, KY

#20 Apr 6, 2009
sometimes it isn't love after all sometimes it is infatuation. Just the thrill of something knew. Well, that knew will soon become old then what? I'd say try talking with the woman you are with to see if you two can save what life yous have made together. Love is like the seasons, it comes and goes but if you can find a good person to share life with than you'd better do all you can to keep it together. That other woman may lay down on here back for you but your woman may some day lay down her life for you. No one can make that decission for you, but I hope you do a lot more thinking about it before you jump into something else. Ask yourself if it is really worth it afterall. Best Wishes.
bell

Murray, KY

#21 Apr 6, 2009
Ya u better know what u want 4 sure!!

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