how do you stop feeling hate when som...

how do you stop feeling hate when someone has hurt you deeply?

Posted in the Pineville Forum

First Prev
of 6
Next Last
sweetpetite

United States

#1 May 14, 2010
I feel like hate is consuming me. But I have been hurt so badly and betrayed so horribly I can't stop feeling all this hate now. I want to hurt them back and make them suffer the way they have made me suffer. I did nothing to deserve this and I am so angry and hurt. How do I get past this? I am devestated and feel lost.
you are not alone

Pineville, KY

#2 May 14, 2010
Turn to the Lord he is the only one who can truly help you get past/overcome this pain. God Bless You and I will keep you in my prayers.
Hearing you

Dyer, TN

#3 May 14, 2010
Sweetpetite, I know exactly how you are feeling. All the pain you're feeling can only eat you ALIVE if you let it. It's easier said than done, but is the person(s) that have hurt you, are they worth one more second of Pain? No, people who hurt people always get it back double. You may never see it or hear about it. It may not be tomorrow or next week, but it always comes back to them. ALWAYS!! The pain that is the worst, is the pain undeserved and sadly its a part of life, but let God use it to make you a stronger person than you are now. God will help you over come if you invite him. And who else is better to be by our side when we have been hurt? Don't set and THINK. It's the worst move you can make. Walk, run, window shop whatever to occupy your mind and talk to God while doing so. I promise you will heal and repair. Praying for you to over-come.
its hard to do

Middlesboro, KY

#4 May 14, 2010
sweetpetite wrote:
I feel like hate is consuming me. But I have been hurt so badly and betrayed so horribly I can't stop feeling all this hate now. I want to hurt them back and make them suffer the way they have made me suffer. I did nothing to deserve this and I am so angry and hurt. How do I get past this? I am devestated and feel lost.
Hurting the other person would make you feel better only for a little while, and it would mean you are no better than they are. So, even though it seems impossible right now, stop trying to figure out why some would hurt you they way they have, and focus on healing yourself, which means finding a way to come to terms with what has happened and possibly in the future forgiving the person who did it. Forgiving someone isn't about letting them off the hook for their wrongdoing but it is freeing yourself to move on. We can't control other peoples actions but we can control our own and control what we let bring us down or make us stronger, with Gods help of course.
sweetpetite

United States

#5 May 14, 2010
thanks to everyone for your kind advice. I know it's good advice I should take and God knows I want to but I have prayed and tried to give it to God but some part of me is just unable to do that. until I do I will be tortured. pls pray for me, I thank u for all your prayers. as a cancer survior that was told I had 4 wks to live nearly 6 years ago I know God's power and his love. I ask that God bless you all.
sameshoes

United States

#6 May 15, 2010
i also have been hurt by someone i thought loved me and woukd never hurt me this way. but i wont b beaten by this betryal, i will learn from it and never allow this person to do it again. i will not have someone i can't trust any more in life! good luck
Old hen

Dyer, TN

#7 May 18, 2010
sameshoes wrote:
i also have been hurt by someone i thought loved me and woukd never hurt me this way. but i wont b beaten by this betryal, i will learn from it and never allow this person to do it again. i will not have someone i can't trust any more in life! good luck
Sadly, it is a bitter part of this life that we all encounter in one time or another. I admire your strength. Move on and know it is his ignorace and not yours. He won't change and you don't want a loser anyway. Life is too short to even TRY to fix him. Lots of girls around here want to FIX a man not realizing, no matter what, they are what they are. You sound smart. Soon you will look back and say, I am so glad I woke up in time to see this loser for what he really is. I would say Good Luck. But old hens know, life is not luck. Its the choices we make. Go make your good choice today.!
Old hen

Dyer, TN

#8 May 18, 2010
sweetpetite wrote:
thanks to everyone for your kind advice. I know it's good advice I should take and God knows I want to but I have prayed and tried to give it to God but some part of me is just unable to do that. until I do I will be tortured. pls pray for me, I thank u for all your prayers. as a cancer survior that was told I had 4 wks to live nearly 6 years ago I know God's power and his love. I ask that God bless you all.
Sweetpetite, don't TRY to give it to God, just give it to him - period. God can fix things our minds under oppression cannot. Trust me please and start the healing process. You say, you know his power and love. That is more than most people know. He will let us go through something because we need it to become stronger person. He has a big purpose for you to help in his kingdom and this hurt is going to make you stronger in time. You will see. It is all for a purpose. The one that hurt you, can you share any thing about it with us? Hurt comes in different ways. God didn't spare you to suffer more.
been there

United States

#9 May 21, 2010
I know how you feel, but my pain was made harder to deal with because i couldn't say anything to the person that caused me and my family so much pain because they were dead how do you deal with that i knew what they had done and caused and all the pain to so many people but being a child of God i finally really gave it over to him and he helped me to let go and move on. You are better off not to say what it is on here, because when you start to move on people will keep bringing it up (no offense meant to the one who ask what happened) it is hard to move on when you hear it all the time find a good person, sister, brother, mom, dad, pastor talk it out with them they will listen and maybe pray with you God bless and I hope will can move on.
sweetpetite

United States

#10 May 22, 2010
been there wrote:
I know how you feel, but my pain was made harder to deal with because i couldn't say anything to the person that caused me and my family so much pain because they were dead how do you deal with that i knew what they had done and caused and all the pain to so many people but being a child of God i finally really gave it over to him and he helped me to let go and move on. You are better off not to say what it is on here, because when you start to move on people will keep bringing it up (no offense meant to the one who ask what happened) it is hard to move on when you hear it all the time find a good person, sister, brother, mom, dad, pastor talk it out with them they will listen and maybe pray with you God bless and I hope will can move on.
Thank you for your advice and prayer. I almost wish he was dead, some how I feel it would be easier to move on knowing he wasn't out there living his life. I know it's wrong and pray God forgives me but it's true. I don't want to give the details of what was done to me by this man, it hurts too much. And it's private. I've never felt such spite and hate towards another person and it's poising my entire life. I am dedicating myself to letting this go with the good Lords help! I feel like a watered down version of myself since this began. my confidense, selfesteem both are both gone. I am an emotional wreck. I trust no one. It seems impossble to get back to where I was before this nightmare. I have my faith in God and am thankful for that. So Lord bring me out of this dark. frightening place back into the light you intended for all your children. Thanks for all prayers
been there

United States

#11 May 22, 2010
Please find someone to talk to a pastor, or someone that will not go and repeat what you say look at yourself every morn. and say God will deliver me and give me peace of mind. Just keep praying when I have problems I talk to my dad, he is a great listener and not judgemental of me. Find someone to talk to so you don't have a break down sometimes we keep to much going on in our own heads. Try to keep yourself busy and your mind occupied with other things that should help. God bless.
knows the feeling

Anderson, SC

#12 May 25, 2010
you just have to be strong. sometimes its hard to get rid of the hate, but just realize that there is a reason for it. my wife did me wrong, very wrong, and for months i've hated her for it. i still feel that way sometimes. but i've learned to put it in the past. let the people who wrong you become what they deserve to be, just a memory. it hurts, i know, and the more you think about it, the more it hurts, and the more you hate the person for it. just let it go, and know that one day they will get what they deserve.
AM there too

United States

#13 Sep 8, 2010
I thought I gave to God but the contempt still there. Whenever friends who are distantly associated with the person I can't stand calls me, I get all upset again, especially when they tell me something good about that person.

I know it is wrong to hate, but the feelings are there. I know I'd forgive in a flash if they asked forgiveness or see the damage and admit the dishonesty.

I guess I really don't know how to give it to God. I think it's in the past until I get a phone call from someone who knows the person. I try to stop thinking about it but there are so many people involved with knowing that person too-I'd have to cut off many of my friends, which makes me even more angry! They probably wonder why I am so distant. It has affected my relationships with them because I haven't told them what happened-didn't want to ruin that person's reputation or the one who let them. They think well of that person-they don't know what phony they are.

How can I leave it with God when I have people reminding me of it all the time? Whomever has the answer- it will help others!!!
Michele

Hodgenville, KY

#14 Sep 8, 2010
AM there too wrote:
I thought I gave to God but the contempt still there. Whenever friends who are distantly associated with the person I can't stand calls me, I get all upset again, especially when they tell me something good about that person.
I know it is wrong to hate, but the feelings are there. I know I'd forgive in a flash if they asked forgiveness or see the damage and admit the dishonesty.
I guess I really don't know how to give it to God. I think it's in the past until I get a phone call from someone who knows the person. I try to stop thinking about it but there are so many people involved with knowing that person too-I'd have to cut off many of my friends, which makes me even more angry! They probably wonder why I am so distant. It has affected my relationships with them because I haven't told them what happened-didn't want to ruin that person's reputation or the one who let them. They think well of that person-they don't know what phony they are.
How can I leave it with God when I have people reminding me of it all the time? Whomever has the answer- it will help others!!!
Sweety, look at the last paragraph that you wrote, the people, that is your problem, how can you go any further with your future if you are trapped in the past. You can take anything to God, He will help you overcome all of this. Listen, there are alot of people outthere who have been through situations in their lives and they think there is no way out but trust me, God can and will open a window and show you an eay way out. But you have to Pray to Him and let others help you. If you put your trust in Him, He will be there to see you through your roughest times. I will Pray for you sweety!
I know

Richmond, KY

#15 Sep 8, 2010
People ... you have all impressed me with your answers .... I agree with them all....
Let it go

Winchester, KY

#16 Sep 8, 2010
I have held mixed feeling & hurt not really hate in my heart for a long time, I allowed it to let me forget about a person (family member) as if they wasn't alive. I know in my heart I had forgiven this person but I still held emptiness in my heart & hurt in my heart over things that this person had done to me & other family members in the past, I felt I was doing the right thing having no contact with this person & shutting them completely out of my life, today I regret it all, today I got a call from the corners office telling me that this person (my brother) had been killed by another person, now the rest of my life I have this to deal & live with. I couldn't let go, even thou it didn't make me bitter I carried hurt in my heart enough so I cut off contact, I am a very content, happy person, now I'm gonna have to make myself accept what I did to my brother & myself, what I missed & I may get thur this I may now but it's my fault if I don't..Please read this & feel what I'm saying. It's never to late, until they are gone. Now I ask for your prayers to get me thru.
Elite

Pineville, KY

#17 Sep 9, 2010
Lords Prayer Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, forgive our tresspasses. as we forgive those who tresspass against us. Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. for thine is the goodness and power and glory Forever Amen
Broken

Houston, TX

#18 Nov 11, 2010
I have kept myself busy, I've been praying, I've talked with my friends, family, pastors, yet I am still angry.
Its now affecting my health and I don't know what to do. I want to get rid of this hate for this man but I can't. Whatelse can I do?
Been there done

Tiptonville, TN

#19 Nov 11, 2010
Broken wrote:
I have kept myself busy, I've been praying, I've talked with my friends, family, pastors, yet I am still angry.
Its now affecting my health and I don't know what to do. I want to get rid of this hate for this man but I can't. Whatelse can I do?
Listen to me. I've been there and done that SEVERAL times. You have talked to many people and you are still angry, and now it is affecting your health. The key to this horried pain going away is in YOU. Pain from hell can be handled 2 ways. You can dwell on it and try to make some kind of sense of it and all the while, it is making you ill. It is stealing your health. It cannot steal your health if YOU do not let it. Experience tells me, you will never make sense of it, so you have to stop dwelling on it. Everything the devil pops it into your mind, change the channel of your mind. Just like you do your TV. You see a channel you don't like, you change it. Every time, get up and wash a dish, go out side, do something else when memory hits. Speak to it and say, "Nope, not gonna give you another thought today". Read your Bible. It is 66 books of solutions for you.

I am not trying to sound harsh. I'm trying to show you the truth as it is. Nothing anybody has ever done to you, is worth your health girl. Nothing! Stress kills and it all stems from thoughts. Don't let your mind control you. You control it. What ever he done to you, let it go. You are not the first and won't be the last he messes over. If this was happenin to your kid, what would you say to her or him?

Some guys love to see women longing and brooding for them. Don't give him another second of your precious life. Trust me, he is not worth it. When the right man come into your life, you will forget this snake. Control your thought process and save your health. When you have damaged your health, is this snake goning to come back and take care of you? You can let this make you stonger or take you down. It is your choice.
Broken

Houston, TX

#20 Nov 27, 2010
I want him to suffer. I will never take him back even if he crawled on his knees. But I want him to suffer like he made me suffer. I want God to make his life the hell he made mine. That's all I dream and pray about. I feel I will have closure when God finally avenges me.

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker
First Prev
of 6
Next Last

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Pineville Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
Frank Gambrel 36 min I will do it 37
Jess & Aaron 1 hr Ustupidpeople 2
Aaron & Jess 1 hr Ustupidpeople 2
Snake handling churches? (Nov '10) 3 hr TruthofGod 63
Where is Becky Harbin now?? (Jun '11) 4 hr findway 10
Mountain drive is the deal off or fake to begin... 4 hr little blue 3
Bell County Jail Cover-Up 5 hr right 8

Pineville Jobs

More from around the web

Personal Finance

Pineville Mortgages