What to do when you love someone who ...
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alcvol

Pikeville, KY

#68 Jan 20, 2014
i agree with now hear this . i think she or he , is right . dont go out playing just yet . dont mean not to go out at all . just take your time . you will live good . last summer i had a girl friend of 3 years . i loved her but she did not only talk mean to me but she did beat my a,,,,, and i would not strike back . you hold on for something better an i will too. i hope you the best
Confused

Rancho Cucamonga, CA

#69 Mar 7, 2014
Hi I'm 20 years old and have a 23 year old husband I've been with him since I was 15 I don't know where to begin or what to say but I'll let it out and hope someone helps me! For the past 5 years my now husband has abused me hit me punched me ect, but I've managed to hold on and hope he changes I get called a whore almost everyday of my life a slut ect, but somehow I still love him he gets drunk and really hurts me example today I went to get my car fixed I got back got called a nasty whore and he took me to the desert and choked me and drug me by the hair then we get back and he tells me if I kiss him it will make it better ! Make the situation wore I have a year and a half year old and a nine month old that watch the abuse my son was born with problems and sad that he has to deal with more! He's a drunk and then when he's sober he tells me he loves me and he's sorry and he only hurts me because he loves me and he tells me what a purse of ah!t he is then I feel bad and cry and say he's not ! Uhh I don't what to do
someones face

Pikeville, KY

#70 Mar 7, 2014
Confused wrote:
Hi I'm 20 years old and have a 23 year old husband I've been with him since I was 15 I don't know where to begin or what to say but I'll let it out and hope someone helps me! For the past 5 years my now husband has abused me hit me punched me ect, but I've managed to hold on and hope he changes I get called a whore almost everyday of my life a slut ect, but somehow I still love him he gets drunk and really hurts me example today I went to get my car fixed I got back got called a nasty whore and he took me to the desert and choked me and drug me by the hair then we get back and he tells me if I kiss him it will make it better ! Make the situation wore I have a year and a half year old and a nine month old that watch the abuse my son was born with problems and sad that he has to deal with more! He's a drunk and then when he's sober he tells me he loves me and he's sorry and he only hurts me because he loves me and he tells me what a purse of ah!t he is then I feel bad and cry and say he's not ! Uhh I don't what to do
Of course you know what to do!! Leave and dont look back.
You dont deserve to be treated that way, Honey, that is not love. When you find a man who builds you up and puts your wishes and needs before his own, holds the door for you, brings you medicine if you are sick, rubs your back if you are in pain, you will know what real love is.
This is a road to death. Get out now, you dont want your children growing up this way!!
They will only ever know a life of abuse, they will think this is normal behavior.
I know, believe me, I know how hard it can be to just walk away and start over.
Fear isnt love.
When a man hurts you, then asks you to kiss him to make it better, that is like kicking a puppy then petting it.
The puppy will still flinch when you come near, because it know fears you.
Just go and stop living this way, in fact, this isnt living.
Go,
you are not a whore and you are not any of the other names he calls you.
You are too young to live this way and you will either end up being murdered by this man, or killing yourself to escape.
Find a trusted relative or friend, who will help you.
Wait until he is gone, and just go, take the clothes on your back and your children and whatever you need to leave.
Go where you will be safe, and then, go to the police and get a restraining order, file for a divorce and get yourself some counseling.
Confused

Rancho Cucamonga, CA

#71 Mar 8, 2014
someones face wrote:
<quoted text>Of course you know what to do!! Leave and dont look back.
You dont deserve to be treated that way, Honey, that is not love. When you find a man who builds you up and puts your wishes and needs before his own, holds the door for you, brings you medicine if you are sick, rubs your back if you are in pain, you will know what real love is.
This is a road to death. Get out now, you dont want your children growing up this way!!
They will only ever know a life of abuse, they will think this is normal behavior.
I know, believe me, I know how hard it can be to just walk away and start over.
Fear isnt love.
When a man hurts you, then asks you to kiss him to make it better, that is like kicking a puppy then petting it.
The puppy will still flinch when you come near, because it know fears you.
Just go and stop living this way, in fact, this isnt living.
Go,
you are not a whore and you are not any of the other names he calls you.
You are too young to live this way and you will either end up being murdered by this man, or killing yourself to escape.
Find a trusted relative or friend, who will help you.
Wait until he is gone, and just go, take the clothes on your back and your children and whatever you need to leave.
Go where you will be safe, and then, go to the police and get a restraining order, file for a divorce and get yourself some counseling.
I know in my mind what I have to do but my heart don't want to we have broke up before for 4 months and all I did was cry I felt lost and sad all the time and now that I have kids it's hard my son really loves him !" God knows why" ? Every time if try to leave he tells me that he's so sorry and I can hit him if I want I'm do confused in side he's cheated on me and he knows it hurts me but he throws it in my face when he's mad like how much better she is and how he should of stayed And when I did try to go he told me fine I'll go make kids somewhere els. But when I say fine and try to go he grabs my stuff and me and act like he's crying and it does hurt me even Thoe I know he don't mean it I don't know how he still had my love but is so abusive and hurtful to me?! Am I just that dumb ?
Keep Looking

Washington, NC

#72 Mar 8, 2014
Put them in the rear view mirror and wait on the one who knows how to conduct himself as a normal human being should or waste years of your life that you can't get back. God bless you!
Darlene wrote:
<quoted text>
I had a bad first marriage (was married for almost 14 years) and I dated several people after the marriage. In 1999 I married my soulmate and my best friend. We have now been married for 11 years and it is always like we are on our honeymoon. We have never had a big fight, just little squabbles, and he has NEVER EVER called me any names. Sweetie, don't ever settle for less then you deserve. There are good decent men out there who would take you and be good to you. I know you may love this guy but he has shown you through his actions that he doesn't love you like you may love him. It would be better to break it off with him and be alone then to be in a relationship where you and your feelings are not valued. Hang in there and don't give up on true love...believe me..it is out there somewhere. I found it..and you can too! I wish you the very best!!
Confused

Rancho Cucamonga, CA

#73 Mar 8, 2014
Thanks for the comments back I just still feel confused he keeps coming back drunk even after he works and stays gone till nite !! Is this normal does everyone have my kind of problems ?

“Pink is your new obsession!!”

Since: Mar 13

Ojai, CA

#74 Mar 8, 2014
Of course he doesnt want you to leave!!!! You are probably the only one who will put up with his shit!!!
When he tells you he should have stayed with HER, tell him he didnt because she seen thru his bullshit lies and little boy ways.
For GODS SAKE WOMAN GET AHOLD OF YOUR LIFE!!!
Do you want to raise a son who thinks its ok to treat women that way??
No, you do not.
You need to go now before he kills you.
If he cries, let his ass cry.
Crocodile fake tears is all they are.
Do as you were told, find a trustable relative or friend, and go when he isnt home.
What in the hell makes you want to stay in that kind of environment?
Sister you have never known real love.
Sit and watch a movie where a man loves a woman and see if he treats her that way.
Imagine yourself in that role.
Do you want to be held and kissed and loved and put up on a pedestal and encouraged to be someone better and told what a good mom you are?
Or do you want to spend a life of misery and pain?
The first time you meet a real man, know real happiness and real love, you will wonder why you waited so long.
No more excuses.
If he cries, let him, tell him to grow up and GROWS A PAIR OF MAN BALLS.
Do it safely. Make sure that you have people around when you go.
Take only what you need and go and dont worry if you have men relatives, cops or friends around when you go, he wont do anything cause PU$$Y boys like him wont stand up to a man.
You will find a real happy life if you take the first step and get out.
Confused

Rancho Cucamonga, CA

#75 Mar 8, 2014
pink sugarplum wrote:
Of course he doesnt want you to leave!!!! You are probably the only one who will put up with his shit!!!
When he tells you he should have stayed with HER, tell him he didnt because she seen thru his bullshit lies and little boy ways.
For GODS SAKE WOMAN GET AHOLD OF YOUR LIFE!!!
Do you want to raise a son who thinks its ok to treat women that way??
No, you do not.
You need to go now before he kills you.
If he cries, let his ass cry.
Crocodile fake tears is all they are.
Do as you were told, find a trustable relative or friend, and go when he isnt home.
What in the hell makes you want to stay in that kind of environment?
Sister you have never known real love.
Sit and watch a movie where a man loves a woman and see if he treats her that way.
Imagine yourself in that role.
Do you want to be held and kissed and loved and put up on a pedestal and encouraged to be someone better and told what a good mom you are?
Or do you want to spend a life of misery and pain?
The first time you meet a real man, know real happiness and real love, you will wonder why you waited so long.
No more excuses.
If he cries, let him, tell him to grow up and GROWS A PAIR OF MAN BALLS.
Do it safely. Make sure that you have people around when you go.
Take only what you need and go and dont worry if you have men relatives, cops or friends around when you go, he wont do anything cause PU$$Y boys like him wont stand up to a man.
You will find a real happy life if you take the first step and get out.
Thanks for the comment back it's a real eye opener ! Funny you mention a love movie watched one last nite while he slept and cried my ass off and wondered to god why he couldn't be like that!!?? It really broke my heart:( and again he came home drunk at nite and noticed he wasn't wearing his wedding ring! Comment "" he was staring at me a few nights ago and saying how much he loved me and he don't know how he's so lucky to have some one like me ect ect ,, and next day is when he choked me and hit and pulled my hair and says "" he only said those things to me because he wanted pu**y and he got it and I'm the dumbest bitch for believing him and laughs that was last night! Today he comes in and say he put more money down to get my car fixed just so I kno and I ignored him and he acted sad and walked away !! Wtf

“Pink is your new obsession!!”

Since: Mar 13

Ojai, CA

#76 Mar 9, 2014
Yea well, you have been given plenty of good advice, its up to you to take it and make a change in your life, for you and your kids future, or you can stay and keep being treated like a dog.
you have to decide, spend whats left of your life being a victim and letting him use things like money and fixing your car to hold you down, or you can take a step to a better life.
let him fix your car, then put your kids in it and leave.
Kellie Shell

United States

#77 Mar 9, 2014
Just screw his daddy brother or best friend since he is accusing you of doing it. That is what I do all the time. I even screw the neighbors. Make videos of us then show them to my husband make him regret for calling me something I wasn't before hand. You just got to have Jesus in your heart and believe he tells me what to do when I'm done like this!
Things-Need-To-C hange

Ransom, KY

#78 Mar 10, 2014
Help, here's a little of my info and what's going on now & what I have been through... I've been with my husband going on 10yrs.. We have kids together. I never say anything, when he wants to hangout with friends, workout or go riding til dark. I won't even call, unless its to pick something up. He does whatever he wants. I might go somewhere a few times a Year, without him, but I always have a child with me. The rest of my time, I sit at the house with kids. The last time I went out, I had a child with me & the other one was getting out of school @3. I had no cell signal & normally he wouldn't even call me, but he took off work, cause he couldn't get a hold of me.. I try to keep him happy & not fight in front of the kids. I try really hard, to keep my family happy & together.*I don't care to do anything for him, but I'm not a 50's wife. I will cook, but he has to get his own food out. I wash clothes & put them away, but he has to put his dirty work clothes in the washer ect.. I don't hardly ever complain about having sex ect., we do it days straight sometimes or oral. I try to keep my man happy. I don't like to argue or anything. Lately tho., I been asking him to stay home just a few hrs. before work OR take me out on the weekend. But he always has something to do OR something comes up.*7yrs ago, I moved away from all my family & slowly I lost them. I can't keep friends, cause I'm constantly getting hurt. I literally don't have no1 to talk to or help me out. So what's wrong with me, if I just want adult conversation? Or a break from the kids? It's not like I'm asking a Day for myself! I've been with my husband 10yrs, so of course were going to have some problems. Just 2yrs of being together we split up. Doing that time, he slept with some1. But, I got over it. 3yrs later, I got pregnant & he went to jail over stupidity. I still stayed with him. But, a few months after getting out, I caught him talking to a girl. Which 2friends of Ours, help start things up. I found out & left. I had no where to go, but his mom's. She of course let him in. So after a week, I went back. Being 7mo. pregnant & all. I had no where to go. & I try to make it work for the kids.*I didn't have a vehicle of my own, so I couldn't even live in a car if I wanted. I couldn't get a job either, cause we have no1 to help watch the kids. So I have to stayed home & take care of them... Well, 5yrs after all that & NOW,*I thought we were doing ok. But since he works 12hr shifts, I don't say to much, if he wants to get out of the house & do something before work. While I still sit at the house, with kids. Day in & day out. But lately, the only thing I ask from him, is to stay home a few hours before work OR spend time with me on the weekend. I Just need a adult conversation OR a break from the kids... But, some how, things kept coming up or he would start something, and it would take weeks to finish. So of course, I'm starting to get mad & I start flipping out, every time I turned around. Well a few weekends ago, I got really mad! I decided to look at his phone. I saw a number in his saved notes. I didn't think anything of it. Well 2wks ago, during the morning, his phone went off. I looked at it & guess what I saw? "She's sorry, she couldn't talk,••••• was home!"...***I'm done Now. But I have no where to go or any1 to help me out. I can't get over it this time & I won't. But what I'm asking from YOU ALL is, any suggestions on what I could do or where I could go? I do have a car, But that's it!! I haven't ate anything in a 5days. My heart is breaking, I'm so mad!! Just knowing that I have no plan or any help is killing me inside. He's trying to apologize and he thinks were working it out, but as soon as I have somewhere to go. And get a plan. I'm defiantly gone. I love my kids, but I don't think I can bring them with me, Because I can't afford anything for myself. I don't know what to do!!!... I'm not going to take any of his money either. Help me or any tips?
Things-Need-To-C hange

Ransom, KY

#79 Mar 10, 2014
I don't know why it said I'm from Harley, VA..... I live in Pike Co, ky

“Pink is your new obsession!!”

Since: Mar 13

Ojai, CA

#80 Mar 10, 2014
leave his ass and apply for government assistance, housing, foodstamps, child care, and get into school, get financial aid, even if you have to take online classes to begin.
it is not worth being mistreated to stay just for money or a car.
those things will fall back into place, go back to your family, there has to be one cousin, sister, aunt, someone who is understanding of the situation and will help you out.
that is something women just dont seem to get.
the first thing a man will do if he wants to keep you down, is to isolate you from your family and friends and get you to where you have no options.
if you are married, then you are entitled to half of what he has, and a good lawyer can set it up to where he has to provide you with a car for your kids.
I Did It

White House, TN

#81 Mar 10, 2014
To "confused" and "Things need to change" posters.... I know how you both are feeling! I stayed in a 20+ year marriage for the "sake" of the kids and believe me it was the WORST mistake I ever made! It's been almost a year now since the divorce and I couldn't be happier! It took me almost 5 years to get up the courage & have the strength to go through with it! He had me beat down so emotionally that I allowed things to happen that I never dreamed I'd put up with! My kids are just now adjusting to what living a normal life feels like minus the screaming & cursing all the time that he did....not to mention the money that he'd go through and he didn't even have a job! Out of 20+ year marriage he only worked a total of 7 years so I figured since I was already doing it all what did I need him for? I could do bad all by myself without him leeching around! First of all what kind of man would let their wife work from sun up til sun down and spend the money as fast as I'd make it and not even worry about whether or not any bills got paid! As long as he got what he wanted then all was good in the household! But once it came crashing down around him then all of a sudden I was the bitch, the bad guy! Well all I can say is this....when and ONLY when you finally get sick & tired of the way you're living and how bad you've been treated throughout the years is when you will finally wake up and say you've had enough and its time to make a move! My family knew he had an agenda by keeping me away from them.. He knew once I got support from them I would eventually wake up out of the fog he put me in! Its hard taking that first step but the second step comes immediately after and before u know it you are on your way to living life the way it was meant to be lived! So please don't be like me and have 20 + years to regret...get out of it NOW!!! I promise this..even though you may be scared of the unknown ahead, there is light at the end of this dark tunnel you're in and you will rejoice in the peace of mind you will feel! My kids tell me everyday they are glad that we are not living the way we used to and their emotional state if mind is do much more clear and better now ! We may want to believe the kids don't notice it but they do! When they tell you how they would cry themselves to sleep praying for a better life it really gets to ya! So please if you don't take any more advice take this one and do it for the emotional state of your kids and GET OUT!!!! I will be praying for both of you...you CAN do this...I promise you can :)
Sad

Sacramento, CA

#82 Nov 26, 2014
How u. Ever been head over heels for someone who takes you out does nice things for you but yet emotionally tears you down to where you feel like nothing and then build you back up with the hug and a kiss
heart broken

Jackson, MS

#83 Friday
I feel the same way :( I love my ex and I don't know why and she's so mean to me :( I give up over and over to just go back. I keep saying I'm through and I pray this time I really am :(

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