What to do when you love someone who ...

What to do when you love someone who treats you bad!!

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Undecided

Ransom, KY

#1 Nov 29, 2010
My question is why do you want someone who treats you bad. I love this guy and he calls me names and threatens me but I still love him. I have not talked to him in three days now because I know in my heart he is never going to change. He began accusing me of cheating all the time. I never cheated I could have. When we would go out he would ignore me when other women was around, but when we were alone he claimed he wanted to marry me. Its amazing how lies and deception can take away the joys you once had in life. He is out having a good time and I have a broken heart. i had a bad marriage before and when I opened my heart up he broke it and he thinks he is so big for doing this to me!!
Darlene

Red Jacket, WV

#2 Nov 29, 2010
Undecided wrote:
My question is why do you want someone who treats you bad. I love this guy and he calls me names and threatens me but I still love him. I have not talked to him in three days now because I know in my heart he is never going to change. He began accusing me of cheating all the time. I never cheated I could have. When we would go out he would ignore me when other women was around, but when we were alone he claimed he wanted to marry me. Its amazing how lies and deception can take away the joys you once had in life. He is out having a good time and I have a broken heart. i had a bad marriage before and when I opened my heart up he broke it and he thinks he is so big for doing this to me!!
I had a bad first marriage (was married for almost 14 years) and I dated several people after the marriage. In 1999 I married my soulmate and my best friend. We have now been married for 11 years and it is always like we are on our honeymoon. We have never had a big fight, just little squabbles, and he has NEVER EVER called me any names. Sweetie, don't ever settle for less then you deserve. There are good decent men out there who would take you and be good to you. I know you may love this guy but he has shown you through his actions that he doesn't love you like you may love him. It would be better to break it off with him and be alone then to be in a relationship where you and your feelings are not valued. Hang in there and don't give up on true love...believe me..it is out there somewhere. I found it..and you can too! I wish you the very best!!
so not right

London, KY

#4 Nov 29, 2010
Undecided wrote:
My question is why do you want someone who treats you bad. I love this guy and he calls me names and threatens me but I still love him. I have not talked to him in three days now because I know in my heart he is never going to change. He began accusing me of cheating all the time. I never cheated I could have. When we would go out he would ignore me when other women was around, but when we were alone he claimed he wanted to marry me. Its amazing how lies and deception can take away the joys you once had in life. He is out having a good time and I have a broken heart. i had a bad marriage before and when I opened my heart up he broke it and he thinks he is so big for doing this to me!!


I think its because you want to be loved and at the present time you feel like it may stop or go away but obviously you've seen that its not goin to....good for you!!! You definitely dont deserve that and alot of the time the one who is doing the accusing is the guilty one!!! I've been there and I know its hard but the best thing to do is surround yourself with friends and start goin out and having some fun for yourself and try hard not to let the jerk know how bad your hurting since that only gives him more pleasure!! There is someone out there who is willing to treat you they way you deserve to be treated, who will think you are everything, and do anything to make you happy.....it just takes time to stumble upon that person. Good luck to you and keep your head up!! Always remember keep smiling cause you never know who is falling in love with your smile!!!!
Chief Sittenfullofit

Pikeville, KY

#5 Nov 29, 2010
If love somebody enuff ,you will time to time say f-you piece of lowlife sh!t .Because you have feelings too and don't take abuse .
Undecided

Ransom, KY

#7 Nov 30, 2010
I appreciate all of the comments. I have not spoke to him in days. Though I cry I hope it comes back to his door and he realizes what he gave up. He was so conceited on himself. He was in his thirties but chased 19 year old girls. It was as if he was living his teenage years all over. He even went as far as to scold my daughter who is 14. It is sad how much I put up with. I was married to someone like him for 14 years and it was so hard for me to let go because he abused me so much. Now I am back in the same situation and its hard but I have no freinds to help me . They are my freinds when they have problems but when it comes to me they are not there. The sadness is so bad I just pray to God it passes.My question is how long does it take to let go and watch them suffer instead.

“Da gurl You'll Neva Be<3”

Since: Apr 10

Elkhorn city, Ky

#8 Nov 30, 2010
I was with a guy for 7mth. that was very abusive, he was always sneaking around, then about 3mth. ago he just up an tells me he loves me but he has a sex problem,& cant stop cheating,but i put up with it because i loved him, eventually it was either me walk away or i was gonna loose my mind. Even though everyday it hurts that i dont wake up to him, or he's not here with me, its life sometimes i guess its better to walk away from something then in the end not being able to,
Undecided

Versailles, KY

#9 Nov 30, 2010
Its amazing how topix can tell you the truth. he was cheating on me the whole time. The one who accuses is the one doing it. He makes me sick I deserve better!!
Big Iron

Pikeville, KY

#10 Nov 30, 2010
Undecided wrote:
Its amazing how topix can tell you the truth. he was cheating on me the whole time. The one who accuses is the one doing it. He makes me sick I deserve better!!
Free your mind drop it move on to the better . You can do it !
DONNA

Pikeville, KY

#11 Nov 30, 2010
well one thing is for sure what goes around comes around so you just set back an laugh at him when it does but in the mean time go out dancing all kinds of nice men an some not so nice there but anyway dont set at home it makes the hurt a lot worse
dump the loser

Elkhorn City, KY

#12 Nov 30, 2010
Undecided wrote:
I appreciate all of the comments. I have not spoke to him in days. Though I cry I hope it comes back to his door and he realizes what he gave up. He was so conceited on himself. He was in his thirties but chased 19 year old girls. It was as if he was living his teenage years all over. He even went as far as to scold my daughter who is 14. It is sad how much I put up with. I was married to someone like him for 14 years and it was so hard for me to let go because he abused me so much. Now I am back in the same situation and its hard but I have no freinds to help me . They are my freinds when they have problems but when it comes to me they are not there. The sadness is so bad I just pray to God it passes.My question is how long does it take to let go and watch them suffer instead.
u shouldnt even want to be with him for that reason alone, any man who chases young girls and dates a woman with a young girl will eventually put the moves on the daughter, believe me, i know, my friend was married to a guy for years and her daughter was only 7 when they married when she was 17, she caught him watching her get dressed, he denied it, but, luckily she had a mom who believed her over him and dumped his ass
u dont need a guy to talk mean to u
and why would u want a guy who is so two faced, dump him and get over it believe me in a few months u will look back and laugh at yourself for ever even considering staying
help

United States

#13 Nov 30, 2010
Just find something to occupy your time and make yourself concentrate on a project,if the relationship is truly that bad,really I don`t believe I would be hurt.I got divorced in 2000,separated in 1998.I did not start dating again until 2003,I was a little lonely for a while,but I just done things to keep busy and days turned to weeks,weeks turned month`s,etc.Before I realized it I was the town catch,after 13 years of marriage.It just seems like nobody is looking,but where he has your ego and self esteam beat down with verbal abuse,people are probably trying not to interfere.Just give it time and you will be happy before you know it,I know that I have had a festival the last 10 years and don`t ever want to go back there!Life will get better after you get rid of the problem,if he treats you that way people will avoid you because they either don`t want to tell you or he treats them the same way.Think about it,did they stop coming around after you found him or after he started doing his thing around town?
Un decided

Ransom, KY

#14 Dec 1, 2010
What makes me sick is how I must suffer and he gets the last laugh! He always got the last word and again he got it. I have heard so much on him in the last two days it sickens me. I am tired of trying I just don't want to be with anyone. Everyone tells me I am pretty and I deserve to be happy but after three bad relationships it is looking dim for me. I have no hope for whats left I had gave it one more chance with him thinking he was different I sure got fooled. Now he will be coming where I hang out with his new woman flaunting her just to torment me. He gets his kicks this way. I can't run because that only shows weakness. I don't know how to handle this part except that i am not going to let him know I am hurt and heart broken.
help

United States

#15 Dec 1, 2010
Out of sight,out of mind,find a new place to hang out,avoid him,make him come look for you.He will be looking to make you jealous,don`t fall for it.If you find a new place to go,you may find a new type of man,get out of your old routine,that may be the problem,going back to the same watering hole,drinking the same old infected water.
undecided

Ransom, KY

#16 Dec 3, 2010
I found out today he left the state. His mom told me he has moved on and I am no longer anything to him. if you love someone how can you just leave and not say goodbye. I prayed to God today I will cry enough to let it go. My eyes hurt where I have cried so much. I hope someone prays for me I need it. the things she told me hurt me to the core. He has told her I was the problem he failed to tell her the things he did. Why me thats all I ask? I have no will to live!!
space nook

Elkhorn City, KY

#17 Dec 3, 2010
u are crying crocodile tears
time to dry your eyes and forget it
if he left the state its probably cuz hes wanted by the cops or owes back child support or gay and went off to be with his gay new lover
let him be
luvmypupdogs

Pikeville, KY

#18 Dec 3, 2010
Hon, I think you need to examine what is going on within yourself that makes you feel like it's ok to put up with, and even love, someone who is so mean to you.

I would really seek out the help of a counselor, or a therapist. It doesn't mean you're crazy or anything. It's just that there is something within your own psyche that is causing you to feel the way you do and to make the decisions that you are making.

Trust me, a woman who is stable and aware of her own worth would never even think about a guy like that. Get yourself some help, Hon. I'm sorry that you are hurting. I know what that feels like, because I was once in the same situation. And the sad reality is, that sometimes we can't always have want we want. Sometimes, what we want can be the absolute worst thing for us. You gotta realize that some things just aren't meant to be. Listen to your head in this case....not your heart.

Good luck to you!
old dude

Harold, KY

#19 Dec 3, 2010
Lady, u can get treatment like that anywhere--I got no sympathy for u if u don't have enough self respect to move on.
undecided

Ransom, KY

#20 Dec 4, 2010
thanks for all of the comments. I decided I can get better. He doesn't deserve me. He is a cheater once a cheater always one. I know you don't travel 3 hours to X-mas shop. He cann tell his next woman all of his lies I am done. I deserve to have someone who wants me and wants to see me happy.He thinks he can run back to me anytime well I hate to tell him I am moving one. He best watch out because I am hitting the town for a good time and a new man. Someone who will not hang up on me when I am sad and wants to be with me. I think it just took me a couple of days to cry it out and I am all cried out. I am not shedding a tear for someone who has shed not one for me. if I have learned one thing in life I have learned that when someone loves you they will stop at nothing to make you happy. I know some of you think I have no respect for my self for what I let him do but when you love someone you let them walk all over you everyone does it but you must learn from your mistakes. I did and I am moving on it may be hard on me but I will make it I am a strong person. My freinds told me I am a one of kind person and people like me are hard to find and someday he will see what he lost but its too late now!!
Willow

United States

#21 Dec 4, 2010
undecided wrote:
thanks for all of the comments. I decided I can get better. He doesn't deserve me. He is a cheater once a cheater always one. I know you don't travel 3 hours to X-mas shop. He cann tell his next woman all of his lies I am done. I deserve to have someone who wants me and wants to see me happy.He thinks he can run back to me anytime well I hate to tell him I am moving one. He best watch out because I am hitting the town for a good time and a new man. Someone who will not hang up on me when I am sad and wants to be with me. I think it just took me a couple of days to cry it out and I am all cried out. I am not shedding a tear for someone who has shed not one for me. if I have learned one thing in life I have learned that when someone loves you they will stop at nothing to make you happy. I know some of you think I have no respect for my self for what I let him do but when you love someone you let them walk all over you everyone does it but you must learn from your mistakes. I did and I am moving on it may be hard on me but I will make it I am a strong person. My freinds told me I am a one of kind person and people like me are hard to find and someday he will see what he lost but its too late now!!
When he comes running back promising you the world go back and read this thread! Because MEN don't change! Good Luck!
now hear this

Elkhorn City, KY

#22 Dec 4, 2010
hitting the town looking for a new man when u are in this state of mind is the worst thing u can do
because u are going to end up with more of the same or worse
wait a few weeks or even months and give yourself some time to get all this out of your heart and mind and really come to terms with what it is u want

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