Why do New Wives hate Ex - Wives?
New wife

Phelps, KY

#77 Oct 25, 2013
BLissa wrote:
<quoted text>
I know this is a billion years old, blah blah blah.
But for people who stumble across this, I just have to point out that the average height/weight of a 10 year old boy is 4.5 feet and 70 lbs. So for the step woman who was pointing out her step sons height/weight, your argument is ridiculous.
Please step-mothers, know your place. No matter what you've heard about the first wife and the mother of the children, you need to remember that your husband has no reason to make his ex look good. Like it or not, you're not the mother, you're the wife of their father. The first wife and the children did not choose you. Be respectful, don't try to take the place of their mother and they might learn to tolerate, like or even love you someday. Say awful things about their mother and they will hate you for sure, they WILL figure it out eventually.
I'm a stepmother we've had custody of the child for 4 years now. The child's mother barely ever sees him because she is constantly in and out of jail. We got custody because she was in and out of jail and because she beat the child. After 1 year of the child leaving with us he asked if he could call me mom, I told him he could call me anything he wanted. I cook for the child, I support him financial and even take care of medical expenses. I love him like he is my own. The way I see it if the real mother can not step up and be a mother then someone has to. So stepmothers do know their place and obviously it's to take care of the child. I don't see what the big deal is anyways as long as the child is taken care of.
angela

Fort Qu'appelle, Canada

#79 Apr 17, 2014
I thank you for your words, I thought I was alone! My husband & I have 6 kids (3 each) and a baby together. His ex is a person who is hateful, selfish & resentful of me, no matter how much I tried to be there for her & the kids, even tried to mediate between them! In the 12 years we have been together, she has been in at least 6 common law break ups, and is lonely & an alcoholic. It sucks because she makes the kids believe I am bad, and she is a victim always.....(never!). She lies, talks bad about me to everyone to the point where her co-workers tell me they are sick of it.....she kicked her kids out to me when they were rebellious and unruly after she TAUGHT them to smoke weed/drink, mess around with bad kids (her example of being a party person), then, when I finally clued in she just wanted to invade my household, I stopped having anything to do with her, and her kids moved back in with her. She collects rent from them since we are done paying her (they are grown past 18)....but she lies about me to them. I gave up, I live in peace & stay out of the kids lives because of her. It sucks for my husband and our new son. I get along great with my ex & his new wife, but she....is impossible. Until she is happy, she will make my life hell. So....because of her, the kids suffer. They don't see their dad as much (they won't come to our house), and I get the peace & quiet, and my hubby & I have learned to form our own life, with the visits we get from the kids at their leisure. My husband used to blame me for it, until I proved to him it was her by letting him go...I literally told him I'd never make him choose between my son, myself & his ex/kids. That made him realize the games she was playing, and we've been happy ever since. The ex who is bad is usually bad for a reason.....a good reason, that the new wife CANNOT control or change. Just keep strong boundaries, and trust that God is in control. Pray. Good hearts/intentions are blessed; selfish & corrupt are alone and will not change.
noteasybeinganewwife wrote:
It is not easy at all being the new wife. I remarried after my first husband cheated on me and married a guy that had kids. His wife went out on him numerous of times til he had had enough. They divorced and had been divorced for years before i even came into the picture. Now the ex-wife is jealous as hell. I guess she thought she could date and mess around and he couldnt. Guess she thought he still wanted her. She is always trying to show up at things saying the kids have a right to see their dad. Yes they do, but not her. She can drop off her kids and come back and get them. INstead, she sticks around. like his family still cares about her. which they dont. They do not like her because of what she done to their son. But now the kids have had their heads full of lies and crap and it is very hard to be the new wife. Do not know why ex's think they can have the cake and ice cream too.
Deb

Clearfield, UT

#80 May 18, 2014
I don't "hate" the ex wife, I am living my own life with my sweet husband. She is the one obsessing over our pregnancy. Dried up ho.
gggg

Santa Ana, CA

#84 Jan 19, 2015
My ex-husband left me and our 3 little babies after cheating constantly and his new wife hates me... why? For raising our 3 daughters pretty much alone very nicely all the while barely receiving anything but an occasional child support taken from him by the DA's office? He has his freedom. I love my daughters but freedom I definitely don't have one bit. Wow! How twisted it is that his new wife would be as hateful to me as she can and she doesnt even know me. Disgusting! Then why do I always have to be the one to turn the other cheek to protect the kids when she talks bad about me behind my back. Ugh. I can identify with most of you here.
frankie

New York, NY

#86 Jan 29, 2015
i love Dr Gboco
tweety538182009

United States

#89 Mar 1, 2015
We began seeing each other while they were still married and living together, but the relationship had ended 5 years earlier. They were basically room mates for financial convenience. There had been no sexual intimacy during the 5 years per her decision, and they had lived apart multiple times. I wasn't the only relationship he had during that time either. We've been together now for 5 1/2 years, living together for 4 of those years. I've never met his children. His visitation occurs at her home. He celebrates the holidays at her home, while I'm left at home waiting for him to return. She has more of a relationship with his family than he does. She speaks to his mother on a daily basis. When something happens in his family, he finds out from her, not his family. They discuss our personal life with her, even though we've asked them not to do that. Anytime something happens, his ex calls him to come to her rescue. He used to go running every time, but now he only does it sometimes. Their friendship I feel is inappropriate. They discuss her relationships, which by the way, her boyfriends have met the kids and stayed overnight in her home. Whenever I say anything about his exes behavior, he defends her. It's really difficult for me to find anything about this woman to like. I feel that she is manipulative, controlling, and goes out of her way to intrude in our life. They aren't together anymore. Get over it and move on.
helpless

Turlock, CA

#91 Apr 22, 2015
Ok...i am an ex wife. Divorced for almost 3 yrs. Have a new man, new baby and new life with 2 children from my ex husband. My ex husband has remarried to a woman who was a friend of mine (along with her whole family). They started dating while she was still in a relationship only 3 months after my husband and I split. Needless to say I was not thrilled about them dating. FeeLing completely betrayed by the both of them, I deal with my ex solely for the children and avoid dealing with her at any expense. Over the years she has served me with court papers, stalked me at work, tried to befriend my coworkers and friends to get dirt on me to tell my ex, followed me at high speeds in my own vehicles that she now drives lol. My children and her child attend the same school, so every morning whether my children notice her or not she yells their names from 40 feet away to get their attention. She is constantly in company with my ex when he drops the kids off when court papers state she can't be there. And just this evening she got physical with me at my children's baseball game, which my ex coaches. I have no clue what to do anymore. I'm always the bad guy, she's always the victim. My goal is not to cause problems in my exs relationship with her, I just wish he would control her behavior. Please any advise would help!!
Jacks

Englewood, CO

#92 May 2, 2015
My ex is getting ready to marry a girl he's been dating six months. It's hard for me to like her because she tried to file a restraining order on me when I attempted to introduce myself. The court threw it out for insufficient evidence. She's a paralegal (obviously not a very good one) and ever since my ex has been with her, he threatens to take me to court every other week. It gets old. I know I have to learn to get along with her for my kids sake but I don't know how.
Nervous and confused

Prestonsburg, KY

#93 May 3, 2015
noteasybeinganewwife wrote:
It is not easy at all being the new wife. I remarried after my first husband cheated on me and married a guy that had kids. His wife went out on him numerous of times til he had had enough. They divorced and had been divorced for years before i even came into the picture. Now the ex-wife is jealous as hell. I guess she thought she could date and mess around and he couldnt. Guess she thought he still wanted her. She is always trying to show up at things saying the kids have a right to see their dad. Yes they do, but not her. She can drop off her kids and come back and get them. INstead, she sticks around. like his family still cares about her. which they dont. They do not like her because of what she done to their son. But now the kids have had their heads full of lies and crap and it is very hard to be the new wife. Do not know why ex's think they can have the cake and ice cream too.
Amen.
Nervous and confused

Prestonsburg, KY

#94 May 3, 2015
Okay. I will be upfront on how I (and I'm sure a lot of new wives) feel.

We hate you because we haven't been able to mature enough to accept it.

I hate my husbands first wife simply because:
1: she got the white wedding, the proposal, & the after 2 years of marriage planned pregnancy.

I got a 6 months pregnant maternity Walmart wedding with his mom and brother. Which, I wanted it and we planned on marrying anyway....

2: you are the first mother of his first child. He already experienced that excitement and magic with you.

I had a natural birth and was in so much pain he was so panicked he couldn't even watch.

3: you don't hold yourself accountable for your actions. You cheated on him, talked about other guys all the time, pushed him too hard...etc.
but you tell everyone he's just a bad guy.

4: you've convinced your son to hate us both because I'm younger and he's been with my baby longer than he stuck around with you.

5: because you are jealous too! We haven't seen your son once since we got married because you told him his dad was a pedophile for going a little younger.

6: because I have only had one other relationship before him. Everything is a first for me, and it's nothing compared to what he had with you. I cry for hours at least once a week thinking about you. How you got what I would kill for, and you took it for granted. How you got him before me. And even though I knew I couldn't deal with this before we got married, he is the man of my dreams.

I'm jealous. Not of what you look like, but your experiences and how just until a bit before getting married, he kept every note you'd ever written him. A whole box of things, pictures, candy wrappers. You name it.
That's only a tenth of it.
Nervous and confused

Prestonsburg, KY

#95 May 3, 2015
tweety538182009 wrote:
We began seeing each other while they were still married and living together, but the relationship had ended 5 years earlier. They were basically room mates for financial convenience. There had been no sexual intimacy during the 5 years per her decision, and they had lived apart multiple times. I wasn't the only relationship he had during that time either. We've been together now for 5 1/2 years, living together for 4 of those years. I've never met his children. His visitation occurs at her home. He celebrates the holidays at her home, while I'm left at home waiting for him to return. She has more of a relationship with his family than he does. She speaks to his mother on a daily basis. When something happens in his family, he finds out from her, not his family. They discuss our personal life with her, even though we've asked them not to do that. Anytime something happens, his ex calls him to come to her rescue. He used to go running every time, but now he only does it sometimes. Their friendship I feel is inappropriate. They discuss her relationships, which by the way, her boyfriends have met the kids and stayed overnight in her home. Whenever I say anything about his exes behavior, he defends her. It's really difficult for me to find anything about this woman to like. I feel that she is manipulative, controlling, and goes out of her way to intrude in our life. They aren't together anymore. Get over it and move on.
YOU are his wife. It's highly inappropriate and you need to take action. The kids should be in YOUR home every other holiday. His family is disrespectful of your feelings being that way. Don't they realize that your husband is their child and not that thing?!
Wish you the best honey
New wife

Pikeville, KY

#96 May 5, 2015
Nervous and confused wrote:
Okay. I will be upfront on how I (and I'm sure a lot of new wives) feel.
We hate you because we haven't been able to mature enough to accept it.
I hate my husbands first wife simply because:
1: she got the white wedding, the proposal, & the after 2 years of marriage planned pregnancy.
I got a 6 months pregnant maternity Walmart wedding with his mom and brother. Which, I wanted it and we planned on marrying anyway....
2: you are the first mother of his first child. He already experienced that excitement and magic with you.
I had a natural birth and was in so much pain he was so panicked he couldn't even watch.
3: you don't hold yourself accountable for your actions. You cheated on him, talked about other guys all the time, pushed him too hard...etc.
but you tell everyone he's just a bad guy.
4: you've convinced your son to hate us both because I'm younger and he's been with my baby longer than he stuck around with you.
5: because you are jealous too! We haven't seen your son once since we got married because you told him his dad was a pedophile for going a little younger.
6: because I have only had one other relationship before him. Everything is a first for me, and it's nothing compared to what he had with you. I cry for hours at least once a week thinking about you. How you got what I would kill for, and you took it for granted. How you got him before me. And even though I knew I couldn't deal with this before we got married, he is the man of my dreams.
I'm jealous. Not of what you look like, but your experiences and how just until a bit before getting married, he kept every note you'd ever written him. A whole box of things, pictures, candy wrappers. You name it.
That's only a tenth of it.
I do not feel tht way at all, y would anyone cry over the ex.. Seriously ur the new wife and ur completely different from the ex wife so everything ur husband experience with u is new to because I'm pretty positive the life he has with u is completely different from the one he had with his ex.. And as for jealous.. I have nothing to be jealous of, my husbands ex is a druggie who is constantly in and out of jail.. We have custody of my husbands child and the ex has another child with someone else and she even lost custody of tht child.. So I guess it really depends on the ppl and the situation..
Nervous and confused

Prestonsburg, KY

#97 May 7, 2015
New wife wrote:
<quoted text>
I do not feel tht way at all, y would anyone cry over the ex.. Seriously ur the new wife and ur completely different from the ex wife so everything ur husband experience with u is new to because I'm pretty positive the life he has with u is completely different from the one he had with his ex.. And as for jealous.. I have nothing to be jealous of, my husbands ex is a druggie who is constantly in and out of jail.. We have custody of my husbands child and the ex has another child with someone else and she even lost custody of tht child.. So I guess it really depends on the ppl and the situation..
Well I am a lot younger and have basically no experience with anybody but him so I pretty much meant like all of the younger wives who have low self esteem.
hopeless in Tennessee

Greenville, SC

#99 May 21, 2015
In my situation my husbands ex wife shows up after disappearing for a week and abandoning her oldest son on my door step accusing me of kidnapping then hit me and put a make on me then going to the police and falsafing a report against me. Mind you I am in my own home get asulted and that's only the half of it. I was scheduled for 3 surgery's that month one of them a major hysterectomy. And I have a auto amune blood disorder called pernesious anemia ( probly spelled wrong) and the doctors said I was very close to death. Then she sends a text telling me surgery is going to be the least of my worries. All the while the police insisted this is a civil matter! New wives have no rights and exwives can treat the new ones any way they see fit. Its not right. When does it stop being civil and start being criminal? I even tried getting a order or protection. I presented ALL text messages and photos along with video . the judge still denied it. I am terrified I will be found dead because she owns a gun and carries it in the car concield. And its leagle for her to do this now that the gun laws have changed in Tennessee. I think there should be laws protecting new wives from exwives who do this kid of crazy stuff.
yuppp

Pikeville, KY

#100 May 21, 2015
I don't hate the ex wife... however she hates me.
Bacon101010

Laramie, WY

#101 May 27, 2015
Haha, I am the ex wife- because I left him, he was an abusive a-hat with a really bad drug problem that left me with a baby and no food, money or way to contact the outside world. So I left and I have been happy ever since---H-A-P-P-Y! I wouldn't touch him with someone else's- whatever. Yet his child bride of 20!(he is almost 40) is insistent on thinking I am the bad one. So funny. I see their FB photos- she has no furniture, they have no TV because he sold it ( for drugs most likely) her child has no clothes... there is not one photo that kid is wearing anything but diapers and socks. I don't actually have an issue with her- she is nice for a kid, I thought it was hilarious that she asked me to wait to have my child a week later than scheduled because she didn't want to miss her friends high school graduation. Funny - yes, but not in a mean way, just in a - wow, okay are you sure about this whole marriage in the middle of nowhere thing, with a dependent and a man that regularly chooses booze and drugs over bills and food. But hey if you are - then I wish you best of luck and I have been nothing but the most polite and supportive. AS in "let me know if you need anything," I wrote the nice note- "Dear ...., I think you are nice and I want you to know that I am not in any way every going to be the ex-wife that gives you a reason to hate, we were kids (leaving out the whole your soon to be husband is a sadistic, drug addict absentee father bit) when we got married and really had nothing in common so it ended. I think you will be a great step mom. So call on me if you ever need anything." She asked me to be her FB friend and I accepted, she did it most likely to size me up, and and make sure that her -15 years gives her an edge. too bad- it doesn't and why the hell cant she figure out that I LEFT HIM, therefor- so not interested in anyway ever again, because I am sane, thank you very much. I find her childish tantrums (butt dialed messages of screaming fests) to be Bwahahahahaha-worthy. I don't get it AT ALL, I mean they technically have the "upper hand" at least in their own delusional world. They have what we assumingly "failed" at, so why the hate? I think maybe it just boils down to as the ex, you are a visual representation of the girl who banged her husband before her- the fact that he touched you in anyway makes her shackles go up if she is insecure. My Husband has an ex and we share step children. I don't feel any kind of jealousy towards her. Why should I? She cheated on him, he is over it, we are married, she is stuck with her choices. Sometimes she tries to talk too long, sometimes she texts when she shouldn't and he always reminds her that she is re-married with 8 kids and needs to keep the subject matter to their child- he is extreamly happy now. SO no- I don't get it. I don't feel that way - my ex's new wife sure does.
Bacon11001100

Laramie, WY

#102 May 27, 2015
Nervous and confused wrote:
<quoted text>
Well I am a lot younger and have basically no experience with anybody but him so I pretty much meant like all of the younger wives who have low self esteem.
I get it. The advantage that you have with your husband is that you will make plenty of first memories with him that he never had with his ex. I used to feel that way too, that is why I got pregnant as early as I did, I didn't want "her" to be the only woman in his life that had given him children. They had a huge expensive wedding, we had one in the park. She had a ridiculously expensive diamond ring (he later pawned out of spite, because he couldn't think of a better place for the ring to end up) I have a copper ring, created by an artisan but definitely not in the house down[payment range that she had. He had perfect credit until she went to town, wanting this and that and a house and new car every 6 months until they were financially ruined because he was afraid to say no. She she had the fun and I am helping him pay off the bills. The truth though is that - it wasn't paradise, not even close. Ex's are ex's for a reason. She may have been his first in some things, but they culminated in failure and that isn't something an ex ever gets rid of. My husband tells me- she gave me my first child, but she also gave me my first infidelity and my first divorce and my first realization that some people are parasites. You gave me my second child, but also an environment that allows me to enjoy being a father, husband, worker and lover. You were my first REAL love, she was my first REAL mistake - her firsts aren't important, yours are, because that is over and you have a lifetime to create firsts with him now. I am both ex wife and new wife and insecurity is what really drives all of this hate. Don't hate her- the trick to getting real revenge is to simply live the best life you can, that fulfills you and strengthens your marriage- you have what she doesn't. HIM. You also don't share their monumental failures, so SHINE.
Tiff1977

Indianapolis, IN

#103 Jun 13, 2015
ex wife wrote:
I am an ex. I had been split from my ex for ten years when he got remarried. I never bothered them, and have always been nice to her. Later I find out that she bad mouthed me to my children, tried to make them call her mother,(my kids tell me everything and cannot stand her), and later when we had to go to court because I wanted to move out of state, she badmouthed me falsely with rediculous accusations and fabrications, created fake Facebook's and emails to stalk me and my friends and family, emailed my pastor, created blogs under fake names to write about me (and his other babys mom) and still continuously stalks my Facebook page and treats my kids like dirt when they visit. The court determined all of these things to be fact when they investigated and if it wasn't for me signing an agreement with my ex, the court was about to almost completely take the kids away from his life because of her. It's been a number of years and the kids tell me she's still obsessed with me and says insanely rediculous things about me. I just laugh it off bc my life is great now that I've moved away from them. But its so bizarre considering I've only met the woman a handful of times and was nice everytime. Lol, its his problem, not mine;)
Wow! Totally my story to a T
Grateful

Katy, TX

#112 Sep 23, 2015
Bell J wrote:
My ex-husband and his wife are hateful, cold and sad. They cheated when he was with me, and now that they have what they want (each other), they have seemed to make it their life's mission to hate me....and me and the new wife have never had one conversation before! When I pick up the children, both my ex and his new wife look so angry and the other day, she physically looked HORRIBLE! She looked sad and her hair was all over her head, as if she had been in a fight. Her eyes were sunken in and she looked drained. I, on the other hand, enjoy my freedom from his bondage. I love to travel and meet new people. Now that the kids are older, I am able to do that. I have met potential significant others, but REALLY cherish my liberation. Also, I am thankful to God for allowing me out of an unhealthy, verbally abusive relationship...now, she has it...perhaps the reason for the hateful, cold, sadness? At this point, I ignore ignorance and keep moving...and God has put it inmy heart to pray for them...I mean, they look really bad, and they do have my kids in their care half the time....
I just want to say thank you. I am an ex-wife and this was like,a page directly from my journal. It is liberating, enjoy your life. and THANK YOU!
go south quick

Quanah, TX

#113 Sep 23, 2015
I do not speak to my ex wife of seven years. Didnt really want to talk to her the day i married her. Marriage of convenience. Been remarried for fifteen years. When ex calls now she asks for the new wife. I either hand my wife the phone or say nope then hang up. Any talk only creates drama or chaos.

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