Why do New Wives hate Ex - Wives?

Why do New Wives hate Ex - Wives?

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Observer

Louisville, KY

#1 Nov 3, 2011
Thought I would reverse the question. It has been my observation recently that the new wife constantly bashes the ex-wife. It is sometimes so unfair because the new wife actually does not always know the ex-wife and only hears false accusations made by the former husband. Another thing that I have noticed is the new wife constantly trying to gain control over the children of the ex-wife and husband. There is always constant turmoil over going to court because the new wife wants to control. The conclusion that I instill from this, is the new wife is insecure, obsessed with the ex-wife, lacks intelligence and very immature. What are your conclusions?

“~~LIVE~~LAUGH~~L OVE~~”

Since: Jan 11

Location hidden

#2 Nov 3, 2011
I am a second wife & I am going to answer your post with my experience's only~~
I dislike the ex because from the beginning of our relationship she was beyond intrusive, I did not meet the children until 4 months into us seeing eachother~~just in case we did not work out, he & I both thought that bringing someone new into the picture & then that person disappearing would hurt the children~~she found out about me almost immediately through her having his e mail password~~she would send me e mails, acting like him & tell me to go away & some pretty mean things~~she knew my name via the e mails~~called my home demanding to know who I was, saying that they were still married~~all lies!
Of course she denies all this, when I did meet his children she told them I was Daddy's mistress, now keep in mind~~they had been divorced 9 yrs. & she had been remarried twice. The children were told that I was evil & would hurt them~~there is where all the dislike stems from & that is only a bit of it, we have now been married 4 yrs. & he has seen his children 3 times only, they are not "allowed" in any home that I live in, I have an 18 yr. old Step-Daughter from a previous marriage~~her & I are fine.
I don't want control of thier children, they have a Mommy & a Daddy~~all I want is for them to have thier Dad who loves them & I can be a friend~~someone to talk to~~a positive in life~~
I don't want my family divided because of DNA, family is about so much more than that.
noteasybeinganew wife

Red Jacket, WV

#3 Nov 4, 2011
It is not easy at all being the new wife. I remarried after my first husband cheated on me and married a guy that had kids. His wife went out on him numerous of times til he had had enough. They divorced and had been divorced for years before i even came into the picture. Now the ex-wife is jealous as hell. I guess she thought she could date and mess around and he couldnt. Guess she thought he still wanted her. She is always trying to show up at things saying the kids have a right to see their dad. Yes they do, but not her. She can drop off her kids and come back and get them. INstead, she sticks around. like his family still cares about her. which they dont. They do not like her because of what she done to their son. But now the kids have had their heads full of lies and crap and it is very hard to be the new wife. Do not know why ex's think they can have the cake and ice cream too.
Observer

Louisville, KY

#4 Nov 4, 2011
Not all ex-wives are at fault with the dissolution of a marriage. Sometimes the ex-husband has been seeing the new wife-to-be without the ex-wife's knowledge. The ex-husband will sometimes put all the blame on the ex-wife, therefore, the new wife believes his story. Then the bashing begins on the ex-wife from the new-wife. I have witnessed the new-wife trying to win over with the children involved by telling them bad things about their mother. The children are always caught in the middle on who to believe. By the way, these actions are a form of abuse. It is called parental alienation which is becoming more a reality in family court. More attorneys are now looking into social networks to determine if abuse is occurring by either party. I thought it very ironic that the first thread posted on topix was from a new wife and on the ex-wife. It goes both ways.
strange

Winchester, KY

#5 Nov 4, 2011
the Ex wife is always causing trouble they think they can control the guy especially when kids are involved I think they regret losing him and wish they could have their marriage back. they are constantly nagging the guy wanting more money their favorite line is I can't believe you don't give more money to take care of your kids instead you spend it on your whore! trust me no matter who is at fault in a divorce the ex wife tries to control every situation.

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“~~LIVE~~LAUGH~~L OVE~~”

Since: Jan 11

Location hidden

#6 Nov 4, 2011
Observer wrote:
Not all ex-wives are at fault with the dissolution of a marriage. Sometimes the ex-husband has been seeing the new wife-to-be without the ex-wife's knowledge. The ex-husband will sometimes put all the blame on the ex-wife, therefore, the new wife believes his story. Then the bashing begins on the ex-wife from the new-wife. I have witnessed the new-wife trying to win over with the children involved by telling them bad things about their mother. The children are always caught in the middle on who to believe. By the way, these actions are a form of abuse. It is called parental alienation which is becoming more a reality in family court. More attorneys are now looking into social networks to determine if abuse is occurring by either party. I thought it very ironic that the first thread posted on topix was from a new wife and on the ex-wife. It goes both ways.
I whole heartedly agree that it can & does go both ways~~I had heard horror stories about the situations before we were ever married~~I have known my Step- daughter since she was 5 & we bonded immediately, at times her Mom did make it diffacult~~ but some how she always managed to find the truth herself~~we never spoke bad of her Mom while she was in our home~~but her Mom did~~packing her full of nonsense~~I think that it helped her see how we did care enough to keep opinions to ourselves for her sake.
Her Dad passed away suddenly~~ but she decided to stay in my life~~THANK GOD! For I love her so much~~ But my new husband has sons & it has honestly been a battle from day one~~because thier Mom made it that way, what's strange is~~my husband & her newest husband get along fine & talk about the kids often~~ we all even had a private discussion about this was not about us (the adults) it was about giving the kids the best life possible with so much love & encouragement~~she stormed out screaming " They are my GD kids & you or your wh0re will never, ever have a chance with them"
Sorry, but as myself & my husband has said~~we can't make her be nice~~we are now heavily pursuing parental alienation & abuse charges~~the baby boy is 10~~stands 5 feet tall & only weighs 65 lbs. We can't take it anymore~~she will reap what she's sown~~
I hate to say this but out of all of this my conclusion is~~you can't fix stupid or reason with insanity.
Sorry for long post!
A new wife

Ransom, KY

#7 Nov 5, 2011
not a lot of us wives who marry a man that has previously been married want to always bash the ex wife, a lot of us have experienced difficult and annoying situations with the ex wife. Many of us would only hope that the ex wife is going to be easy to get along with especially when you have to deal with the ex wife because of the children or old debts. Actually the entire time I have been married, I have been trying to escape from having to deal with the ex all together but it is very hard to do when the in laws put a strain there because they cant seem to keep there nose out of each others butts. So to all those ex wifes who are great at being understanding.. non obsessive and really move on from the past THANK YOU and to those who don't that is a concern why let someone go if ya still try to call them, write them, talk about them negatively and whatever the sort. Your just putting a damper on other peoples lives.
just me

Pikeville, KY

#8 Nov 21, 2011
I didnt start this post, but this word for word what me and my hubby are going through. For a second I could have thought u were talking about me. My hubby's ex has caused us so many problems. She has even lied and had me summoned to court. She tols my husband the only way he could see his daughter was at his mom's, under her supervision, and I couldnt be there. Mind you, this isnt under court orders...Just hers. He pays his child support every month and she still tries to control him and me. She has even remarried and had another baby. I could keep going on with the bull she has put us through. While we were just living together, everything was fine...But the day we married, is when she started. he was my high school sweetheart and we have been on and off for 20 yrs. She was just the in between. She went to school with us, so she knows our history.
Sonya

Greenbrier, AR

#9 Nov 23, 2011
They all don't... I get along great with my ex-husband's new wife. We're actually very good friends. She is a sweetheart and she treats mine and my husband's/her husband's kids like her own and I am good to her kids with her first husband. She is expecting her first kid with my ex-husband/her husband and I am throwing her a baby shower for it. That's how close we are... Hating somebody just because they married your ex is plumb ignorant, in my opinion.
Sonya

Greenbrier, AR

#10 Nov 23, 2011
You could be missing out on a great friendship, I meant to add. So why not just try to get along and see where it goes, at least???
Ex Wife

Shelbiana, KY

#11 Nov 28, 2011
I am the ex-wife whom was married to a cheating husband. I stayed after a couple times of it happening and him getting caught on the internet. Finally, enough was enough when his New Wife was on his voice mail saying she had had fun with him that past weekend and couldn't wait to see him again. Now this voice mail was only within 2 weeks of us staying apart and when I thought we were trying to work it out because we had a young child. No long story short, I tried my hardest to befriend her because I knew that would make everything easier for the baby, and I didn't hold a grudge over what happened. Once I heard the voicemail I knew that I definitely didn't want to work it out with him and that I deserved better. I went on a date and he found out and less than a week later he starts calling EVERYDAY, making small talk about the baby, but then he would want me to chat with him. The funny part is he asked me out and I told him he was only doing that because I had went out with someone else, but the kicker is he wanted me to keep it a secret from everyone to see if we could work it out!!! LOL So he wanted me to be the other mistress. During this time he told me how if he mentioned me like that he saw me somewhere she would flip out on him and he told me how she would never be me, and that no matter how mad he gets or no matter what he said he would always love me and I was his number one and he was just going to settle for her since I wouldn't have him. I guess the NEW WIFE can't handle this because she must see he still loves me so she is constantly trying to start trouble, making him drag me to court, making him disobey court orders, they won't answer or call to let me speak to my child on visitations. ETC ETC ETC... So yeah I am on of the exwifes who doesn't try to cause trouble unless I am given trouble then I have to stand my own, and to this new wife of my ex, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE know that I don't want him, if I did YOU would not have him right now! I am very happy with my new husband who treats me with love and respect! NEW WIFE, can you please stop causing trouble for us and my child, it is only the baby you are hurting! All your laughing loudly to show off, and your acting like your so happy means nothing to me... I feel sorry for you because sadly one day you will be in my shoes, he told me himself he will never change, and he will have more women! Heck he tried to get me to be the other woman already!!!! lol
Has an ex HB

Isom, KY

#12 Nov 28, 2011
People need to stop and think hey they are ex's for some reason now goes both ways my ex hb was a douch bag hope he grows a third nut.
Angela

London, KY

#13 Dec 8, 2011
They all don't. I get along fine with my husband's new wife. I don't think that she has ever hated me and I certainly have never hated her.
Angela

London, KY

#14 Dec 8, 2011
I get along fine with my EX husband's new wife, I meant, lol.
yes

San Jose, CA

#15 Dec 8, 2011
Angela wrote:
I get along fine with my EX husband's new wife, I meant, lol.
whew good you cleared that up, lol
ex wife

Chicago, IL

#16 May 9, 2012
I am an ex. I had been split from my ex for ten years when he got remarried. I never bothered them, and have always been nice to her. Later I find out that she bad mouthed me to my children, tried to make them call her mother, (my kids tell me everything and cannot stand her), and later when we had to go to court because I wanted to move out of state, she badmouthed me falsely with rediculous accusations and fabrications, created fake Facebook's and emails to stalk me and my friends and family, emailed my pastor, created blogs under fake names to write about me (and his other babys mom) and still continuously stalks my Facebook page and treats my kids like dirt when they visit. The court determined all of these things to be fact when they investigated and if it wasn't for me signing an agreement with my ex, the court was about to almost completely take the kids away from his life because of her. It's been a number of years and the kids tell me she's still obsessed with me and says insanely rediculous things about me. I just laugh it off bc my life is great now that I've moved away from them. But its so bizarre considering I've only met the woman a handful of times and was nice everytime. Lol, its his problem, not mine;)

Since: May 12

Location hidden

#17 May 10, 2012
I'm pretty sure the new wives just don't like the "taste" the EX left behind. I hear it's really hard to get rid of...just sayin' ;-)
Guppie

East Troy, WI

#18 Nov 4, 2012
ex wife wrote:
I am an ex. I had been split from my ex for ten years when he got remarried. I never bothered them, and have always been nice to her. Later I find out that she bad mouthed me to my children, tried to make them call her mother,(my kids tell me everything and cannot stand her), and later when we had to go to court because I wanted to move out of state, she badmouthed me falsely with rediculous accusations and fabrications, created fake Facebook's and emails to stalk me and my friends and family, emailed my pastor, created blogs under fake names to write about me (and his other babys mom) and still continuously stalks my Facebook page and treats my kids like dirt when they visit. The court determined all of these things to be fact when they investigated and if it wasn't for me signing an agreement with my ex, the court was about to almost completely take the kids away from his life because of her. It's been a number of years and the kids tell me she's still obsessed with me and says insanely rediculous things about me. I just laugh it off bc my life is great now that I've moved away from them. But its so bizarre considering I've only met the woman a handful of times and was nice everytime. Lol, its his problem, not mine;)
Sounds familiar to me- my ex's new wife is strangely obsessed with me, tried to pony up false and spin doctored emails, bad mouths me to my children, everything I do with and for my kids she copies me and says well I do that for you guys too like its some sort of competition or what I do as their mom isn't so special. It's like she' s faking being their mom. I spoke to my ex, said why can't she just have a relationship with them, why all this crap? Too many awful stunts she pulled putting my kids in the middle for me to mention but I stood up to her bullying and intimidation and now my children are doing much better. I think she is very insecure and pathetic and was convinced by my ex how awful I was. Trust me, there can be bad people on either side, it's not always the evil insecure jealous ex wife trying to convince her kids about the evil stepmother. All it takes is an insecure person with low self esteem trying to secure their position thru immature and self centered control methods. Trust me I thought why the hell does she hate me so much? It should be the other way around, right?( they were having an affair). I moved on, she can have him. What does she give a darn about me? My kids love and trust me and I work hard at keeping them secure and happy and knowing how much they are loved.
AnonfromAL

Alexander City, AL

#19 Nov 11, 2012
ex wife wrote:
I am an ex. I had been split from my ex for ten years when he got remarried. I never bothered them, and have always been nice to her. Later I find out that she bad mouthed me to my children, tried to make them call her mother,(my kids tell me everything and cannot stand her), and later when we had to go to court because I wanted to move out of state, she badmouthed me falsely with rediculous accusations and fabrications, created fake Facebook's and emails to stalk me and my friends and family, emailed my pastor, created blogs under fake names to write about me (and his other babys mom) and still continuously stalks my Facebook page and treats my kids like dirt when they visit. The court determined all of these things to be fact when they investigated and if it wasn't for me signing an agreement with my ex, the court was about to almost completely take the kids away from his life because of her. It's been a number of years and the kids tell me she's still obsessed with me and says insanely rediculous things about me. I just laugh it off bc my life is great now that I've moved away from them. But its so bizarre considering I've only met the woman a handful of times and was nice everytime. Lol, its his problem, not mine;)
I know EXACTLY what you are saying. My exhusband's wife has been doing the exact same thing to me and my ex & mine's 10 year old daughter. She's made it so that my daughter doesn't even want to have anything to do with her father because he allows his wife to treat her badly also. She's constantly claiming that I'm on drugs and doing all these bad things but it's entirely false. My daughter and I moved 2 hours away from them to escape the madness and were free of it for a little over 3 months during which time he made no effort to contact me or have anything to do with our daughter. He wanted until her 10th birthday and then sent word that he was taking me to court and having me arrested for contempt b/c he wasn't getting visitation. Not to mention that he hasn't paid any child support in years and is currently over $40,000 behind in child support.. His wife finds joy in accusing my 10 year old daughter of being jealous of her and one of her child, a 9 year old son. She's a ridiculous woman. I tried so very hard to be friendly with her in the beginning but with her it's impossible to be anything but enemies by her own choice.
Bell J

United States

#20 Dec 31, 2012
My ex-husband and his wife are hateful, cold and sad. They cheated when he was with me, and now that they have what they want (each other), they have seemed to make it their life's mission to hate me....and me and the new wife have never had one conversation before! When I pick up the children, both my ex and his new wife look so angry and the other day, she physically looked HORRIBLE! She looked sad and her hair was all over her head, as if she had been in a fight. Her eyes were sunken in and she looked drained. I, on the other hand, enjoy my freedom from his bondage. I love to travel and meet new people. Now that the kids are older, I am able to do that. I have met potential significant others, but REALLY cherish my liberation. Also, I am thankful to God for allowing me out of an unhealthy, verbally abusive relationship...now, she has it...perhaps the reason for the hateful, cold, sadness? At this point, I ignore ignorance and keep moving...and God has put it inmy heart to pray for them...I mean, they look really bad, and they do have my kids in their care half the time....

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