Unorthodox farting techniques
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jackhole

Georgetown, KY

#61 Jul 18, 2009
ROFLMFAO wrote:
I swear, I was feeling drained by reading all the gossip on the previous threads and was about to call it a night til I ran upon this thread. You guys are sooooo funny! I'm wiping tears from my face from laughing so hard! I'd love to host a huge soup bean and mexican cornbread supper for all of you...of course, I won't be attending...hehee
im down with that!!! nothing like a soup bean massacre!!
Miss Toots Alot

Williamsburg, KY

#62 Jul 18, 2009
Where do ya think we could have the soup bean dinner???? Doesnt Dairy Cheer and Jerry's have soup bean day?? Hahahahaha
My 2 cents

Williamsburg, KY

#63 Jul 24, 2009
my farts stink
sassy

Charleston, WV

#64 Sep 3, 2009
so funny love it
Danny Masio

United States

#66 Oct 5, 2009
I fart in my bathroom try that! No public farts please have some respect for others
Gassassin

Alexandria, Australia

#67 Mar 10, 2013
woo doggy wrote:
chicks fart just as much as men do! dont even play that!! they can rip some killer ones
Totally! I know, me and my wife we fart all the time, I fart on her, she gets me back! She farts on her, I get her back! Our neighbour tells us to shut up because he can hear them! He thinks we should wear butt-plugs because they smell so bad. But what I'm saying here is, girls do fart, equally as much as men. Some keep it secret, while others like my wife defiantly won't! Almost everyday we find out a new way to attack each other with flatuence from the behind. LOL.
Gassassin

Alexandria, Australia

#68 Mar 10, 2013
You wouldn't believe this but once I was at a theatre, my farts were smelling so bad that each time I would fart a family/couple would leave the theatre. The funny thing is it was at the movies and the type of farts they were were popcorn farts!
Gassassin

Alexandria, Australia

#69 Mar 10, 2013
Pig Benis wrote:
<quoted text>
Dutch Oven: The act of throwing out a vicious, obnoxious fart in bed and then holding the head of a loved one underneath the sheets, either until they pass out or better still vomit.
Example: I knew that I had left a skiddie in my pants as I curved out a stinkfart. I then asked my wife to check under the covers to see whether there was a spider. She was immediately overcome by the repugnant gas that was down there and try as she might, she couldn't fight as my hands held her head in place. When she came up eventually, she remarked that she felt nauseous and that I had indeed shit my pants in the process. Nice!
Haha! So funny, once I farted at midnight, it was loud enough to wake up my wife, she asked what it was and a said in a scared voice; "there's something under the bed." She went under then started to cough and scream though I kept her head down and gave the biggest fart I could right directly on her nose, no kidding she did vomit. I was laughing so hard though, I wouldn't stop, I gave her a bunch of popcorn farts to just make her vomit more, then I rubbed my butt-crack all over her nose while farting. She has started to cry and I have started to think; 'should I stop? She seems like she is in a lot of pain' but it was so fun so why would I stop? I let a silent fart blow her hair everywhere and fill her nostrils with stench. A lot more small farts came out and my butt was directly on her nose. I them pushed her face directly into my butt, then I had her nose go directly into my anus, "THE GRAND FINALE!" I yelled out and gave her the longest, loudest, smelliest fart I could give her (that was 47 seconds, not no where near my high score). Her face was still being pushed into my arse by me and she couldn't escape for the whole fart. I though to myself,'Why make this my finale, if I'm still filled with gas?' I continuously farted on her face rubbing her head against my butt. Then I had a fart come out that was so loud from outside the window I could see lights of houses being turned on, I didn't stop though. Nothing could stop me. I farted so much that she was screaming at the top of her voice, while she was screaming was my chance to get her mouth around my anus, and I did, I ripped a whole lot more, she was in so much pain that she couldn't scream no more, I let go one of them farts that are really… well you know, sharp. Those ones that hurt when they come out. Anyway I let one of those rip and she fainted, I farted about 40 times (not short ones) off her mouth to check if she was faking and no, she was unconscious. I decided to have a smell so I breathed some of my flatuence up and it smelt as if, someone ate 1000 burritos, pooped all over the floor, had everyone poop on it, then threw all of it in a blender, when they took it out, they smashed some rotten eggs on the floor, put all the poo drink on the smashed eggs, then had a skunk spray it. It smelt like that, times 25. I felt sort of sick myself but wow was it worth it! If you're wondering how I remembered the order of these farts, and how long they were, well I didn't remember, I had it recorded on my iPhone! I put it on YouTube but it was removed. The next morning my wife woke up and said to me; "I am so going to get you back." Now I'm scared! Also my neighbours were coming up asking why it sounded like an earthquake in my house, and why it smelt so terrible. I simply answered; "face-fart."

They are so fun aren't they? They sure can be deadly though!
Gassassin

Alexandria, Australia

#70 Mar 10, 2013
My 2 cents wrote:
my farts stink
Ya' think? I've made my wife pass out over 5 times, and we don't need to by wasp/bee hive killer. When they go to sleep at night, I would go outside to fart on their hive, we wake up the next morning and check and they are all dead!
Samurai Firefarter

Alexandria, Australia

#71 Mar 10, 2013
Gassassin wrote:
<quoted text>
Ya' think? I've made my wife pass out over 5 times, and we don't need to by wasp/bee hive killer. When they go to sleep at night, I would go outside to fart on their hive, we wake up the next morning and check and they are all dead!
Haha, yeah no joking we would wake up the next morning and see that they are all dead on the ground we sometimes smell them and they smell like shit!!!
Samurai Firefarter

Alexandria, Australia

#72 Mar 10, 2013
Gassassin wrote:
<quoted text>
Haha! So funny, once I farted at midnight, it was loud enough to wake up my wife, she asked what it was and a said in a scared voice; "there's something under the bed." She went under then started to cough and scream though I kept her head down and gave the biggest fart I could right directly on her nose, no kidding she did vomit. I was laughing so hard though, I wouldn't stop, I gave her a bunch of popcorn farts to just make her vomit more, then I rubbed my butt-crack all over her nose while farting. She has started to cry and I have started to think; 'should I stop? She seems like she is in a lot of pain' but it was so fun so why would I stop? I let a silent fart blow her hair everywhere and fill her nostrils with stench. A lot more small farts came out and my butt was directly on her nose. I them pushed her face directly into my butt, then I had her nose go directly into my anus, "THE GRAND FINALE!" I yelled out and gave her the longest, loudest, smelliest fart I could give her (that was 47 seconds, not no where near my high score). Her face was still being pushed into my arse by me and she couldn't escape for the whole fart. I though to myself,'Why make this my finale, if I'm still filled with gas?' I continuously farted on her face rubbing her head against my butt. Then I had a fart come out that was so loud from outside the window I could see lights of houses being turned on, I didn't stop though. Nothing could stop me. I farted so much that she was screaming at the top of her voice, while she was screaming was my chance to get her mouth around my anus, and I did, I ripped a whole lot more, she was in so much pain that she couldn't scream no more, I let go one of them farts that are really… well you know, sharp. Those ones that hurt when they come out. Anyway I let one of those rip and she fainted, I farted about 40 times (not short ones) off her mouth to check if she was faking and no, she was unconscious. I decided to have a smell so I breathed some of my flatuence up and it smelt as if, someone ate 1000 burritos, pooped all over the floor, had everyone poop on it, then threw all of it in a blender, when they took it out, they smashed some rotten eggs on the floor, put all the poo drink on the smashed eggs, then had a skunk spray it. It smelt like that, times 25. I felt sort of sick myself but wow was it worth it! If you're wondering how I remembered the order of these farts, and how long they were, well I didn't remember, I had it recorded on my iPhone! I put it on YouTube but it was removed. The next morning my wife woke up and said to me; "I am so going to get you back." Now I'm scared! Also my neighbours were coming up asking why it sounded like an earthquake in my house, and why it smelt so terrible. I simply answered; "face-fart."
They are so fun aren't they? They sure can be deadly though!
Wahhh dont remind me about that oh god the pain I passed out I was vomitting while he would just continue to fart all over my face I went to work and I smelt terrible and no one would have there lunch around me my husband is part skunk I swear he's just nasty
hee hee

UK

#73 Sep 26, 2013
Lolz
Mary Kay

Lebanon, KY

#74 Sep 26, 2013
I actually sell Avon so one day in the elevator I cut loose an SBD and then quickly sprayed with some pine scent air freshener I had in my kit.
A drunk staggered on at the next floor and started sniffing the air while making a terrible face. He said damn, somebody shit a Christmas Tree!
poop nazi

Pikeville, KY

#75 Sep 26, 2013
my wife is a pillhead. so, she passes out every night. this gives me the wonderful opportunity to post farting in her face on the computer. lol one Saturday she came thru the house and said her upper lip tasted bad rofl! I just pretended to be innocent.
equate

Beattyville, KY

#76 Sep 26, 2013
I have let some good ones but my dog farted on me in the truck and pealed the paint from inside it
Fart Factory

Richmond, KY

#77 Sep 28, 2013
I like to catch a fat lady bent over at Food City and rip a good one. Always makes them blush .

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