Why Men Are Never Depressed

Posted in the Paris Forum

First Prev
of 2
Next Last
Hahaha

Arlington, TX

#1 Dec 13, 2012


WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:

Men Are Just Happier People --

What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack...

You can be President.

You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you,

He or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough..

You almost never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes..

Everything on your face stays its original color.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives

On December 24 in 25 minutes
Hahaha

Arlington, TX

#2 Dec 13, 2012


__________

Men Are Just Happier People

NICKNAMES

If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other

as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.



EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually

admit they want change back.

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.



MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.



BATHROOMS

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.



ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.



FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.





MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.



DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.



NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.



OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.





THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

Since: Jan 12

Location hidden

#3 Dec 13, 2012
FW:FW:FW:FW:RE:FW:FW:

Keep the stupid email forward crap off Topix, please.
anon

United States

#4 Dec 13, 2012
Nobody Gets It wrote:
FW:FW:FW:FW:RE:FW:FW:
Keep the stupid email forward crap off Topix, please.
That sure beats the crap you post on here.
Depressed Man

United States

#5 Dec 13, 2012
But a WOMAN can have a cash register between her legs the Man makes deposits into. Obviously you guessed it right I'm a guy and am so freg,n glad I am. I would hate to instigate and fret as Jed would say over the silliest things women fret over.
GET obama OUT

Paris, TX

#6 Dec 13, 2012
Nobody Gets It wrote:
FW:FW:FW:FW:RE:FW:FW:
Keep the stupid email forward crap off Topix, please.
I agree with Anon. It is MUCH better than the crap you spew!
mother

Rockwall, TX

#7 Dec 13, 2012
Nobody Gets It wrote:
FW:FW:FW:FW:RE:FW:FW:

Keep the stupid email forward crap off Topix, please.
Your the stupid one!!! I want more please.
FormerRedneck

United States

#8 Dec 13, 2012
Most accurate and hilarious thread I've read on here recently. Makes me want to be a redneck again.
GET obama OUT

Paris, TX

#9 Dec 14, 2012
Nobody Gets It wrote:
FW:FW:FW:FW:RE:FW:FW:
Keep the stupid email forward crap off Topix, please.
Like everyone wants to hear about your queer relationship crap all the time? Whatever!

Try losing some weight and grow your hair out a bit, stop walking like you have jock itch, get the men's work boots off, stop taping your boobs down and trying to talk deep so the other bull dykes will like you. Oh, and get your butt into church and stop being mad at God and his church because you like to sleep with you own kind and mock Him.
rasta

Paris, TX

#10 Dec 14, 2012
Obviously written by a woman. While those points may
be correct, there is another side.
We worry about bills
We worry about "have we done enough for the family and wife"
We see you first thing in the morning and deal with your early
morning attitude until coffee kicks in.
We have to find that perfect place for you to pee.
We must feed you the moment you are hungry. Not just anywhere
but somewhere that has exactly what you want after you have asked
for substitutions to the menu item.
We have to deal with the child that became a father's child when you are angry with the little bugger.
I can go on and on. WE do get depressed. But you know what?
In the big picture, it is worth it because I still have the mother of my children with me every day. That's a blessing.

Since: Jan 12

Location hidden

#11 Dec 14, 2012
GET obama OUT wrote:
<quoted text>Like everyone wants to hear about your queer relationship crap all the time? Whatever!
Try losing some weight and grow your hair out a bit, stop walking like you have jock itch, get the men's work boots off, stop taping your boobs down and trying to talk deep so the other bull dykes will like you. Oh, and get your butt into church and stop being mad at God and his church because you like to sleep with you own kind and mock Him.
Is that how Jesus teaches you to talk to people when you go to church? No wonder people like me consider Christianity a joke.
curious

Clarksville, TX

#12 Dec 14, 2012
your knees will bow,your lips will confess,Jesus is Lord,like it or not,believe it or not,it will happen
FormerRedneck

United States

#13 Dec 15, 2012
A man will work two jobs so his two-timing wife can lay at home sleeping with other guys while he's busting his azz at work. A woman will max out all the credit cards and then sue the husband for child support once he finds out she's been cheating and divorces her.

Since: Jan 12

Location hidden

#14 Dec 16, 2012
curious wrote:
your knees will bow,your lips will confess,Jesus is Lord,like it or not,believe it or not,it will happen
Not gonna happen. Keep dreaming though.
GET obama OUT

Paris, TX

#15 Dec 18, 2012
Nobody Gets It wrote:
<quoted text>
Is that how Jesus teaches you to talk to people when you go to church? No wonder people like me consider Christianity a joke.
I am not going to be the one looking for a fan and an icepack in the next life!

Since: Jan 12

Location hidden

#16 Dec 18, 2012
GET obama OUT wrote:
<quoted text>I am not going to be the one looking for a fan and an icepack in the next life!
Of course you're not, because there is no afterlife, despite what your ancient magic book tells you. You'll just be remembered as another Christian who doesn't practice what they preach.
GET obama OUT

Paris, TX

#17 Dec 18, 2012
Nobody Gets It wrote:
<quoted text>
Of course you're not, because there is no afterlife, despite what your ancient magic book tells you. You'll just be remembered as another Christian who doesn't practice what they preach.
The cool part is knowing that your postings are 99% just for fun and to see what kind of rise you can get out of folks. The remaining 1% is the sad truth....you are lost.

Thanks for the laughs...loser!
what

Paris, TX

#18 Dec 18, 2012
Most of the first list looks like a lot of self inflicted problems for women.

Here are a few other things men/dads have to think about.
1. We without thought will step in front of a bullet for anyone in the family at any second.
2. That really nice lawn and flower bed doesn't grow naturally like that.
3. We have to be mechanic and handyman of the house.
4. We have to go check the house every time you hear a scary noise late at night.(We really do not enjoy that)
5.We have to drive every where, all the time. Mainly because we don't trust your driving, at all.
6. And last but not least - Sit on your balls just once and tell me how good you think I got it.
mack

United States

#19 Dec 18, 2012
You people sure took a funny thread and crapped all over it. It was all meant for humor you dopes. I do have to say alot of it is true but I agree with someone above. Funniest thing on here in a while.
newname

Paris, TX

#20 Dec 20, 2012
Nobody Gets It wrote:
<quoted text>
Of course you're not, because there is no afterlife, despite what your ancient magic book tells you. You'll just be remembered as another Christian who doesn't practice what they preach.
You should register and post under 'Nobody Likes Me'

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker
First Prev
of 2
Next Last

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Paris Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
water baptism debate 20 min Coc 44
Poll Share Power With Taliban In Afghanistan? 2 hr the coc 1
uncertified teachers - nlhs 4 hr baffled 4
Adult Probation-Frequency of Drug Tests (Jul '13) 7 hr gokillyouself 78
open carry 7 hr Kids hurt too 39
Red Lobster next to Chili's 7 hr jacky 43
home depot! 7 hr jacky 53
More from around the web

Paris People Search

Addresses and phone numbers for FREE

Personal Finance

Mortgages [ See current mortgage rates ]