Little Johnny
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Anonymous

Arlington, TX

#1 Sep 20, 2012


Barack Obama was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked the president if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy'. So our illustrious president asked
the class for an example of a 'tragedy'.
One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a tragedy."
"No,' said Obama,'that would be an accident."
A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not,' explained Obama.
'That's what we would call great loss."
The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Obama searched the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"
Finally, at the back of the room, Little Johnny raised his hand. In a quiet voice he said: "If the plane carrying you and Mrs. Obama was struck by
a 'friendly fire' missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy."
"Fantastic!' exclaimed Obama.'That's right. And can you tell me why that would be tragedy?"
"Well,' says Johnny,'It has to be a tragedy, because it sure as hell
wouldn't be a great loss... and you can bet your ass it's probably not an accident either."

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republican

Paris, TX

#3 Sep 25, 2012
Lol
Anonymous wrote:
Barack Obama was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked the president if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy'. So our illustrious president asked
the class for an example of a 'tragedy'.
One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a tragedy."
"No,' said Obama,'that would be an accident."
A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not,' explained Obama.
'That's what we would call great loss."
The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Obama searched the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"
Finally, at the back of the room, Little Johnny raised his hand. In a quiet voice he said: "If the plane carrying you and Mrs. Obama was struck by
a 'friendly fire' missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy."
"Fantastic!' exclaimed Obama.'That's right. And can you tell me why that would be tragedy?"
"Well,' says Johnny,'It has to be a tragedy, because it sure as hell
wouldn't be a great loss... and you can bet your ass it's probably not an accident either."
Haha

Bedford, TX

#4 Nov 21, 2012

The teacher once asked the class to make a sentence with the phrase pistol too. Timmy raised his hand, and after being recognized said, "The lone Ranger tamed the wild west with his faithful Indian companion and his pistol too."

Very good says the teacher.

Little Johnny raised his hand, and after being called on said, "Down at our house we make home-brew, drink till twelve, and piss till two."
Haha

Bedford, TX

#5 Nov 21, 2012
Little Johnny

Little Johnny wants a new Bicycle


Little Johnny went to his mother demanding a new bicycle. His mother decided that he should take a look at himself and the way he acts. She said, "Well Johnny, it isn't Christmas and we don't have the money to just go out and buy you anything you want. So why don't you write a letter to Jesus and pray for one instead."

After his temper tantrum his mother sent him to his room. He finally sat down to write a letter to Jesus.

Dear Jesus,
I've been a good boy this year and would appreciate a new bicycle.
Your Friend,
Johnny

Now Johnny knew that Jesus really knew what kind of boy he was (a brat). So he ripped up the letter and decided to give it another try.

Dear Jesus,
I've been an OK boy this year and I want a new bicycle.
Yours truly,
Johnny

Well, Johnny knew this wasn't totally honest so he tore it up and tried again.

Dear Jesus,
I've thought about being a good boy this year and can I have a bicycle?
Johnny

Well Johnny looked deep down in his heart, which by the way was what his mother really wanted. He knew he had been terrible and was deserving of almost nothing. He crumpled up the letter, threw it in the trash can and went running out of the house. He aimlessly wandered about depressed because of the way he treated his parents and really considered his actions.

He finally found himself in front of a Catholic church. Johnny went inside and knelt down, looking around, not knowing what he should really do. Johnny finally got up and began to walk out the door and was looking at all the statues. All of a sudden he grabbed a statue of the Virgin Mary and ran out the door.

He went home, hit the statue under his bed and wrote this letter:

Jesus,
I've got your mum. If you ever want to see her again, give me a bike.

You know who

Haha

Bedford, TX

#6 Nov 21, 2012
I Love Little Johnny! haha

A kindergarten teacher handed out a coloring page to her class. On it was a picture of a duck holding an umbrella. The teacher told her class to color the duck in yellow and the umbrella green, however, Little Johnny, the class rebel, colored the duck in a bright fire truck red.

After seeing this, the teacher asked him: "Johnny, how many times have you see a red duck?"

Little Johnny replied, "The same number of times I've seen a duck holding an umbrella."


good one

United States

#7 Nov 21, 2012
Anonymous wrote:
Barack Obama was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked the president if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy'. So our illustrious president asked
the class for an example of a 'tragedy'.
One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a tragedy."
"No,' said Obama,'that would be an accident."
A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not,' explained Obama.
'That's what we would call great loss."
The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Obama searched the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"
Finally, at the back of the room, Little Johnny raised his hand. In a quiet voice he said: "If the plane carrying you and Mrs. Obama was struck by
a 'friendly fire' missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy."
"Fantastic!' exclaimed Obama.'That's right. And can you tell me why that would be tragedy?"
"Well,' says Johnny,'It has to be a tragedy, because it sure as hell
wouldn't be a great loss... and you can bet your ass it's probably not an accident either."
Thats a good one.
Just sayen

Clarksville, TX

#8 Nov 21, 2012
I don't know if you have heard but Obama won the election and will be president for the next four years and Texas can't secede from the union so he is going to be your president too. You all lost that make you a bunch of losers. U though you were winners but it's turns out your just wieners.
sayitagin

Paris, TX

#10 Nov 21, 2012
Just sayen wrote:
I don't know if you have heard but Obama won the election and will be president for the next four years and Texas can't secede from the union so he is going to be your president too. You all lost that make you a bunch of losers. U though you were winners but it's turns out your just wieners.
And u r a dik head

Since: Jul 10

Location hidden

#11 Nov 21, 2012
Anonymous wrote:
Barack Obama was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked the president if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy'. So our illustrious president asked
the class for an example of a 'tragedy'.
One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a tragedy."
"No,' said Obama,'that would be an accident."
A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not,' explained Obama.
'That's what we would call great loss."
The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Obama searched the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"
Finally, at the back of the room, Little Johnny raised his hand. In a quiet voice he said: "If the plane carrying you and Mrs. Obama was struck by
a 'friendly fire' missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy."
"Fantastic!' exclaimed Obama.'That's right. And can you tell me why that would be tragedy?"
"Well,' says Johnny,'It has to be a tragedy, because it sure as hell
wouldn't be a great loss... and you can bet your ass it's probably not an accident either."
That was funny......when it was used for George Bush a decade ago. I guess originality isn't your strong point.

George W. Bush goes to a primary school to talk to the kids to get some good PR. After his talk he offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him his name.

" Stanley," responds the little boy.

"And what is your question, Stanley ?"

"I have 4 questions: First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes? Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?" Fourth, why are we so worried about gay-marriage when of all Americans don't have health insurance?

Just then, the bell rings for break.

George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after break. When they resume George says, "OK, where were we? Oh,that's right, It's question time. Who has a question?"

A different little boy puts up his hand. George points him out and asks him his name.

"Little Johnnie" he responds.

"And what is your question, Little Johnnie?"

"Actually Sir, I have 6 questions: First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes? Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden? Fourth, why are we so worried about gay marriage when 1/2 of all Americans don't have health insurance? Fifth, why did the break bell go off 20 minutes early? And sixth, what happened to Stanley?"
Anonymous

Bedford, TX

#12 Nov 21, 2012
ActuaIIy wrote:
<quoted text>
That was funny......when it was used for George Bush a decade ago. I guess originality isn't your strong point.
George W. Bush goes to a primary school to talk to the kids to get some good PR. After his talk he offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him his name.
" Stanley," responds the little boy.
"And what is your question, Stanley ?"
"I have 4 questions: First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes? Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?" Fourth, why are we so worried about gay-marriage when of all Americans don't have health insurance?
Just then, the bell rings for break.
George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after break. When they resume George says, "OK, where were we? Oh,that's right, It's question time. Who has a question?"
A different little boy puts up his hand. George points him out and asks him his name.
"Little Johnnie" he responds.
"And what is your question, Little Johnnie?"
"Actually Sir, I have 6 questions: First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes? Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden? Fourth, why are we so worried about gay marriage when 1/2 of all Americans don't have health insurance? Fifth, why did the break bell go off 20 minutes early? And sixth, what happened to Stanley?"
Yawn! OMG. Don't quit your day job there, in hopes of being a comedian.

That is one of the most unfunny, boring jokes ever.

try again and see if you can COPY and PASTE something better.
Mr Bush

Bedford, TX

#13 Nov 21, 2012
What happened to Stanley?

Hmmm. Well let's see.

She was so dumb, she let this black man in Kenya pretend he liked her so he could have someone to sleep with while he went to school, she got pregnant and had this little half black , half white boy who grew up hating himself and hating America because his mother was stupid and his father was an alcoholic pimp . He wanted to GET REVENGE for that and got all these Uncle Toms and idiots to vote for him, he became president and SOLD America and those voters so in addition to getting revenge, he could travel around the world using all their money.

Now That's revenge, wouldn't you say Little Johnny?

Since: Jul 10

Location hidden

#14 Nov 21, 2012
Anonymous wrote:
<quoted text>Yawn! OMG. Don't quit your day job there, in hopes of being a comedian.
That is one of the most unfunny, boring jokes ever.
try again and see if you can COPY and PASTE something better.
LMAO more proof I get under your skin gomer
kfc

Paris, TX

#15 Nov 21, 2012
ActuaIIy wrote:
<quoted text>
LMAO more proof I get under your skin gomer
The only skin you get under is when you are chomping on a chicken leg.

Since: Jul 10

Location hidden

#16 Nov 21, 2012
kfc wrote:
<quoted text>
The only skin you get under is when you are chomping on a chicken leg.
Keep telling yourself that Col. Gomer
MyMy

Bedford, TX

#17 Nov 21, 2012
ActuaIIy wrote:
<quoted text>
Keep telling yourself that Col. Gomer
Yo mama done warned you about sassing white people. Now you hush up!
lol

Paris, TX

#18 Nov 21, 2012
ActuaIIy wrote:
<quoted text>
Keep telling yourself that Col. Gomer
dumb

Since: Jul 10

Location hidden

#20 Nov 22, 2012
MyMy wrote:
<quoted text>Yo mama done warned you about sassing white people. Now you hush up!
Wow gomer I see your move up from little johnny jokes to talking about someones momma.

Your mommy must be very proud of her little tard.

Since: Jul 10

Location hidden

#21 Nov 22, 2012
lol wrote:
<quoted text>
dumb
Gomer = dumb

How do I judge agree for this?
TheAnswer

Paris, TX

#22 Nov 22, 2012
ActuaIIy wrote:
<quoted text>
Gomer = dumb
How do I judge agree for this?
You bend over and stick your head up your azz.
Anonymous

Arlington, TX

#24 Nov 22, 2012
A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"

Little Johnny jumped up and yelled, "Because people are sleeping!"

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